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UglyGreed

(7,661 posts)
Thu Nov 13, 2014, 05:56 AM Nov 2014

Being a Stay-at-Home Parent Is a Luxury … for Your Spouse [View all]

The other day, I read an article in the Washington Post about a stay-at-home mother who was having a rather hard time adjusting to answering the ever-popular question, “What do you do all day?” now that the kids were at school.

It’s a topic that has been on my mind lately as I watch in bewilderment as my children seem to insist on growing up at rates that surely I did not approve of when I signed my parental contract. I look at my youngest — my seven-week-old baby girl — and I swear my mind is already flashing to the day (tomorrow, probably) that I will be kissing her good-bye on her first morning of kindergarten.


But back to the task at hand. As I read the article, I scrolled through the comments, anticipating that there would be some doozies in a post about a stay-at-home mom basically proclaiming that she doesn’t feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing all day when I came across this truly remarkable comment:

“I work full time, and my husband is a stay at home dad. We have two kids in school full day (8 to 3). Don’t you realize how much easier it is to hold a full time job when you have someone home with the kids? I can work late and travel when I need to and not worry about the kids. Our weekends are spent relaxing, instead of racing around to get errands and chores done. I can go back to work on Mondays having actually recharged over the weekend. It feels like such a luxury to ME to have a stay at home spouse.”

I was flabbergasted.

Dumbfounded.

Perplexed that in all of my years as a stay-at-home/write-at-home mom, I’ve always been fighting the thoughts that I’m not doing enough or being enough. I’ve always felt I honestly owed the world some sort of explanation for being at home. That I’ve had to throw around the fact that since I stay at home we make sacrifices as a family — like not having cable! I’ve felt I had to bake pies so that the world would know I’m not a worthless member of society. And in the midst of all that mental clutter and guilt it had never, ever crossed my mind that staying at home wasn’t “just” a luxury to me …

But also a luxury for my husband.

And suddenly, when I read those words, it all made sense. Well, of course, it would be a luxury to the spouse who works out of the home to have a partner who stays at home with the children. Someone who is always there to take care of the inevitable days of sickness, arrange the doctor’s appointments, make sure the cupboards are stocked, and heck, to ensure that no one steals the FedEx package off of the porch. And then — goodness! — to have someone to save you the worry of sending your kids into the world, someone to always be there to kiss a scraped knee and take care of the potty training and maybe even have a hot meal waiting for you when you come home?

Imagine that.


https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/being-a-stay-at-home-parent-is-a-luxury-for-your-100013200179.html

24 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Well worth having a parent to be there with your kids if you can pull it off Egnever Nov 2014 #1
I'm a stay at home Dad UglyGreed Nov 2014 #2
you DO provide, UglyGreed, believe me Skittles Nov 2014 #4
Thank you it UglyGreed Nov 2014 #7
aw, f*** what people don't accept Skittles Nov 2014 #20
I hear ya UglyGreed Nov 2014 #21
In my opinion, you have the harder job yeoman6987 Nov 2014 #11
Thank you UglyGreed Nov 2014 #12
In a similar boat. I stay at home and am on disability due to illness NightWatcher Nov 2014 #22
it's a luxury to have anyone at home who helps, regardless of kids Skittles Nov 2014 #3
Indeed, Skittles Feral Child Nov 2014 #10
HAR Skittles Nov 2014 #19
Even without children WhiteAndNerdy Nov 2014 #5
Indeed! Habibi Nov 2014 #6
Full-time work outside the home is just too much. WhiteAndNerdy Nov 2014 #8
Thanks! Habibi Nov 2014 #13
You do not owe the world anything. dilby Nov 2014 #9
I understand UglyGreed Nov 2014 #14
From my experience just grow your hair long dilby Nov 2014 #18
I am proud to tell people of my stay-at-home son-in-law and my working hedgehog Nov 2014 #15
Great post UglyGreed Nov 2014 #16
This message was self-deleted by its author Boom Sound 416 Nov 2014 #17
Nonsense - and I know what I'm talking about. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2014 #23
Of course. It's a luxury for the entire family. RedCappedBandit Nov 2014 #24
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