Campaign 2016: Hillary Clinton's Fake Populism Is a Hit - Matt Taibbi/RollingStone

[Major Hogwash]

98. "How's the weather in Boston today, Senator Kerry?"

"Well, today the sun is out, shining brightly, and the skies are clear. Just like that one day in Vietnam back in 1969 when I was ordered on a mission to go patrol upriver for the very first time. The winds were calm when we left port that day, just as calm as they are now. But, after we were just a few miles out of port, the winds picked up considerably, and started blowing. At first, they were only blowing about 10 miles per hour, with gusts up to 15 miles an hour. Which is what I think may happen later this morning. They aren't winds that are strong enough to blow you off course, much. But, they get your attention. The kind of gusts that cause you to notice your speed so as not to run out of fuel while in enemy-controlled territory. Back then, back on that day in Vietnam, we didn't know that the winds would pick up later that morning. Just before noon, if I recall correctly. Then the skies clouded over, an ominous sign of what we could come to expect later in the day. But, today, the winds are not going to get that high, I believe, so it should be fair sailing if you're thinking of going sailing later today. Yet, there was no sailing in Vietnam when we were on that first mission on that terrible day. And I have to say, that we were all so glad to get back to port later than night; we never thought that the winds would blow on us as hard as they did back on that particular day. And I remember the looks on all of the men that were aboard that swiftboat that I was commanding when I told them that we were going to have to turn around soon and head for home. I'll never forget the look of relief that flooded their faces, that will be with me for the rest of my life. Of course, it could rain later on this afternoon, you never know. Take your umbrella with you, just in case."