General Discussion

mac56

(17,569 posts)

1. Wow. Thank you for telling that.

Fri May 11, 2012, 09:25 AM

May 2012

Last edited Fri May 11, 2012, 10:15 AM - Edit history (1)

I got bullied a lot in junior high, and upon my dad's advice I finally squared off with the main bully. Spun him around, pushed him up against a locker, grabbed the back of his hair, and bashed his head against the wall several times. He was dazed when I let him go. He never bullied me again but I spent all the rest of the school year in fear that I would somehow get legal consequences for that.

Standing up for yourself certainly is not guaranteed to be consequence-free.

(edited for accuracy)

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56 replies

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I’ve read much on the heroics of confronting bulliess recently, that too has a dark side… [View all] HereSince1628 May 2012 OP

Wow. Thank you for telling that. mac56 May 2012 #1

No guarantees in life... Cave_Johnson May 2012 #7

Off campus should have out of bounds for the school ProgressiveProfessor May 2012 #2

I jumped a man that was physically abusing a woman, got her free, Zorra May 2012 #3

A good self-defense class could teach you the proper way to act when the police show up slackmaster May 2012 #4

That sucks. You did the best you could. There are other ways Iris May 2012 #5

You did not do anything wrong. nt Deep13 May 2012 #6

I just wrote something like this on another thread. "Fighting back" these days means expulsion riderinthestorm May 2012 #8

That's why you don't fight back AT SCHOOL slackmaster May 2012 #15

The consequences of fighting back away from school could be even worse. JDPriestly May 2012 #28

+1000000 nt riderinthestorm May 2012 #39

Sometimes the path of least resistance is to communicate effectively with a bully's parents slackmaster May 2012 #44

So, what's your position? To 'take it'? I have self respect. Edweird May 2012 #9

My position is that there isn't a single outcome to confronting bullies. HereSince1628 May 2012 #12

Ok, but what happens when you DON'T confront them? Edweird May 2012 #13

I'm not sure you can be certain of an outcome there, either... HereSince1628 May 2012 #21

Your case, BTW, is EXACTLY why I support 'stand your ground' type laws. Edweird May 2012 #29

Too often, the person with the gun IS the bully. JDPriestly May 2012 #32

Who is 'the person with the gun'? Police? Military? Citizens? Edweird May 2012 #33

I think the point is that unintended consequences are a fact of life. mac56 May 2012 #23

Yep, shit happens. Edweird May 2012 #30

I think we agree, basically. mac56 May 2012 #34

In my view, bullying should be handled in one of two ways. JDPriestly May 2012 #31

I am intimately familiar with the mechanics of bullying - I was the 'weird kid'. Edweird May 2012 #35

All true. But what is also true is that bullies mostly pick on safe JDPriestly May 2012 #48

Non-violent communication against a bully? Are you serious? backscatter712 May 2012 #53

Non-violent communication is not about hugs, JDPriestly May 2012 #56

This. daaron May 2012 #16

There was an older girl, big for her age, who LuvNewcastle May 2012 #10

And that's the bottom line - "when parents don't get involved..." Iris May 2012 #11

When adults abdicate their responsibility for teaching and enforcing tblue37 May 2012 #27

Indeed. Happens here at DU too. nt patrice May 2012 #14

this is a place where good parenting should be helpful Voice for Peace May 2012 #17

There is a saying in NYC: "No good deed goes unpunished" KurtNYC May 2012 #18

+1000 mac56 May 2012 #24

It is true that there are other ways of confronting bullies varelse May 2012 #19

Yes, it went on for my brother. HereSince1628 May 2012 #45

Hey, I still dont see how you did the wrong thing Muskypundit May 2012 #20

I'll bet they certainly continued bullying. They simply picked another target. nt riderinthestorm May 2012 #40

Here's a question: Did the bully beat on your brother again? aikoaiko May 2012 #22

The group that was involved in bullying my brother continued at him HereSince1628 May 2012 #38

I'm sorry to hear that, but did the one you beat on continue to bully your brother? aikoaiko May 2012 #46

That's not the dark side. tcaudilllg May 2012 #25

I see it as dark. A kid of 8 maybe 9 ended up with a life threatening injury HereSince1628 May 2012 #42

Well I have a bully story too. zeemike May 2012 #26

You can kill someone with a hard strike to any part of the head. stevenleser May 2012 #49

And you can kill people with words too zeemike May 2012 #54

You dont have to tell me. I was also bullied. stevenleser May 2012 #55

There was a bigger kid who would bully me and my friends 40 years ago ... my friends still talk JoePhilly May 2012 #36

This is a tough one... Red State Prisoner May 2012 #37

I finally fought back against my bully after years of abuse TrogL May 2012 #41

Thank you. nt redqueen May 2012 #43

I had a similar experience in 5th grade (no police though). Dawson Leery May 2012 #47

I found myself wishing that the statute of limitations had not passed and you could sue stevenleser May 2012 #50

I was way out beyond the wierd kid... loose wheel May 2012 #51

One person looked up to you that day I imagine Generic Other May 2012 #52