BOROWITZ:Jeb Quits Race with “Mission Accomplished” Banner (not really) [View all]
BY ANDY BOROWITZ
Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush announced that he was dropping out of the race for the Republican Presidential nomination, while standing in front of a “Mission Accomplished” banner draped over the façade of his campaign headquarters, in Miami.
Speaking to his remaining staff members who were seated in a dozen folding chairs, Bush thanked them for the hard work that led to the triumphant completion of their mission.
“Our work is done,” Bush said. “Thanks to you, we have prevailed.”
While acknowledging that he took pride in the impressive success of his campaign, Bush stressed that victory did not belong to him alone. “This is a great day for America,” he said.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/jeb-quits-race-with-mission-accomplished-banner
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