General Discussion

JunkYardDogg

(873 posts)

119. I fuck with them BIG TIME

Sat Dec 12, 2015, 05:07 PM

Dec 2015

1. I have a sign in the front window , that says :
"NO JEHOVAHS WITNESSES"
I would post a pic of it here, but I do not know how to do that - DUH me
On Halloween, some of the older kids love it
2. On my SUV, I have 2 Fish stick ons :
one is the "Evolve" fish, the Witnesses have pulled it off twice when they come by
The second one is the Fish/Rocket Ship "Science" one, they don't fuck with that one, probably can't figure it out

Other of my responses:
1. One couple came by & put a Bible God flyer on the screen door, I heard them , took it and caught up to them on the sidewalk & told them to never put this shit on my house again & said "fuck your bible" numerous times
2. I have done the "Hail Satan" thing a few times, at other locations
3. The Mormies came by during the Prop 8 deal, I went off on that to them

At the Long Beach Grand Prix, years ago, a delusional Jesus freak would walk around, past the Grandstands with his Jesus sign
as he stood in front of our stand, I yelled at him :
"Jesus had a dick, show us your Dick" numerous times, he left fairly quickly

I say any shit I feel like to these bastards, they deserve it
Fuck em all, they are trying to shove their Christo Fascism down our throats & people are too polite to them

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

189 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

How do you get rid of a 'bible thumper' away from your door? [View all] clydefrand Dec 2015 OP

Is the person still outside your door? They didn't leave? nt Logical Dec 2015 #1

Well, tell them that you just lit up a joint with three of your spouses... Hepburn Dec 2015 #2

Our neighbor used to quick strip naked to answer, but after Hortensis Dec 2015 #19

So, the way to counter religious types is to act even weirder than them? stopbush Dec 2015 #129

Same as any salesperson who has another question to your no thank you Person 2713 Dec 2015 #3

Yeah that is the best bet davidpdx Dec 2015 #185

I simply explain I don't fredamae Dec 2015 #4

As an atheist, I love to talk to the door knocking believers. FLPanhandle Dec 2015 #5

I tied one up for about an hour last summer rurallib Dec 2015 #81

you know, it is illegal to forcibly restrain someone like that. What did he finally have to say... yawnmaster Dec 2015 #152

Whatever harm has been done to you by religion cannot be remedied by incivility. Maru Kitteh Dec 2015 #187

I usually invite them into my home. MohRokTah Dec 2015 #6

OMG! We did this in our younger years. Once, a family showed up (prob SDA) Nay Dec 2015 #55

I told a JW kid who's parents were trespassing Boudica the Lyoness Dec 2015 #115

I've never thought of that verse in that way. thucythucy Dec 2015 #131

I like all the stuff you said! In our case, the parents had nothing to say to Nay Dec 2015 #139

"..but you gotta admit...that the Bible is not very clear..." thucythucy Dec 2015 #182

I have a pit bull etherealtruth Dec 2015 #7

They don't usually stay on our porch once they see our black german shepherd. woodsprite Dec 2015 #177

Show up naked. Ask if he's here to spurn God and join the Church of the Satan theislander Dec 2015 #8

Most likely Jehovah Witnesses honeylady Dec 2015 #9

Actually, I like the JWs. Hepburn Dec 2015 #10

Then you'll love this safeinOhio Dec 2015 #22

OMG...that is priceless. Thank you! n/t Hepburn Dec 2015 #32

LOL treestar Dec 2015 #36

That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing. DamnYankeeInHouston Dec 2015 #37

Love what he did.......wish I had been there! dixiegrrrrl Dec 2015 #85

That was hilarious! cwydro Dec 2015 #105

Find work for the Mormons. Really hard work notadmblnd Dec 2015 #42

That works for me. Hepburn Dec 2015 #46

Mormons are hardworking too and they'll do it for free notadmblnd Dec 2015 #51

And Mormons actually don't mind doing it. Frank Cannon Dec 2015 #80

I couldn't live their life for two years notadmblnd Dec 2015 #86

Is that a real thing? fleur-de-lisa Dec 2015 #93

I've never had any problem with JW's ... truth2power Dec 2015 #53

I wonder if they have any success at all treestar Dec 2015 #33

My mom has a JW that comes to her house weekly. tammywammy Dec 2015 #61

JW's travel in pairs Andy823 Dec 2015 #124

Ask them if they want to be the next sacrifice. hobbit709 Dec 2015 #11

I wouldn't answer the door. n/t CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2015 #12

That's usualy my srategy too. cwydro Dec 2015 #45

I have an intercom at the door. None get past it. Many people freeze up when they're talking to an RKP5637 Dec 2015 #135

Same here. GoCubsGo Dec 2015 #136

That is why I have a peephole in my door. Grammy23 Dec 2015 #144

I tell that I am an atheist but tell them I respect their dedication. They are always polite. nt Logical Dec 2015 #13

Polite, indeed gratuitous Dec 2015 #21

+1 ShrimpPoboy Dec 2015 #99

Two friends were annoyed with the Jw's showing up the first freezing morning of winter L. Coyote Dec 2015 #14

One way to do it is to compliment them whilst gently shutting the door ucrdem Dec 2015 #15

I haven't dealt with any of them in a long time PersonNumber503602 Dec 2015 #16

I offer them a copy of the dhammapada (buddhist literature) in exchange for their bible tracts independentpiney Dec 2015 #17

How'd they react to that? PersonNumber503602 Dec 2015 #18

They have to refuse it because it's not christian independentpiney Dec 2015 #38

Awww, that's unfortunate, but I guess to be expected. PersonNumber503602 Dec 2015 #100

Depending on whether you are a man or woman... RichGirl Dec 2015 #20

1 way.....answer the door naked VanillaRhapsody Dec 2015 #23

The answer, as always, is more guns. Tell the bible thumper you are feeling threatened... Buzz Clik Dec 2015 #24

I just had a nasty little variant of the door knockers COLGATE4 Dec 2015 #25

Answer the door naked and blood-soaked, if you can manage it. Orrex Dec 2015 #26

Go full "Carrie" and show them your dirty pillows. Arugula Latte Dec 2015 #120

This. And tell them "You're just in time for the ritual, please come in!" backscatter712 Dec 2015 #125

They can't find my house. NV Whino Dec 2015 #27

No one seems to find my house EXCEPT the religious peddlers. dixiegrrrrl Dec 2015 #34

Funny, my cats don't have the same effect on visitors. NV Whino Dec 2015 #50

My MIL had 2naSalit Dec 2015 #62

Rudeness helps... Wounded Bear Dec 2015 #28

I just say No thank you, and then I shut the door. 2pooped2pop Dec 2015 #29

Either a Mormon or johovah witness yeoman6987 Dec 2015 #30

Bible thumper is a commonly used and apt description independentpiney Dec 2015 #44

I don't like it. It belittles the message of the person saying it. yeoman6987 Dec 2015 #64

Maybe they shoud keep their "message" to themselves independentpiney Dec 2015 #75

+1 Go Vols Dec 2015 #149

Why Kalidurga Dec 2015 #52

Bible thumper is the correct description for them. haikugal Dec 2015 #57

Whatever. And you wonder why they win. Our explanations are for 2 year olds. yeoman6987 Dec 2015 #65

What explanations! It was a comment. haikugal Dec 2015 #68

What do you call Muslims in the Middle East? Please don't answer. yeoman6987 Dec 2015 #69

I'm unfamiliar with Muslims... haikugal Dec 2015 #71

Win what? Person 2713 Dec 2015 #70

How about god botherer? Does god botherer work for you? GoneOffShore Dec 2015 #138

I politely tell them that I'm not interested pintobean Dec 2015 #31

At 16, I expect she was... 3catwoman3 Dec 2015 #40

It wasn't the 1st time she had heard it from me pintobean Dec 2015 #58

I tell them that I don't do the Angry Desert Sky Wizard thing . . . hatrack Dec 2015 #35

They haven't knocked on my door since I told them notadmblnd Dec 2015 #39

LOL! Colander on the head is great (and quick to manage). Must remember that. Nt JudyM Dec 2015 #154

Thank you for making me appreciate one more benefit DamnYankeeInHouston Dec 2015 #41

Looks like you have it handled. WhiteTara Dec 2015 #43

I tell them I am an Atheist. SamKnause Dec 2015 #47

Just tell them "I worship privately but thanks anyway" and close the door with a smile. OregonBlue Dec 2015 #48

That's why I have dogs world wide wally Dec 2015 #49

That's why I have a door buzzard pinboy3niner Dec 2015 #54

Stahp! Staaahp! Nay Dec 2015 #63

LOL.... AngryOldDem Dec 2015 #73

lol Renew Deal Dec 2015 #77

...and it ain't vultural reality. Eleanors38 Dec 2015 #96

... Arugula Latte Dec 2015 #97

It's alive! It's aliiiive! Hekate Dec 2015 #173

The same way I get rid of those people selling magazines B2G Dec 2015 #56

Once I said.... elfin Dec 2015 #59

You tell them to leave your property and that you are not interested. Yo_Mama Dec 2015 #60

I use a language other than English (not Spanish, either) Proserpina Dec 2015 #66

Blow crack smoke in their face Facility Inspector Dec 2015 #67

Two ways: AngryOldDem Dec 2015 #72

I would tell him that the thunder/mountain God of the Israelites cheapdate Dec 2015 #74

I usually try to figure out something nice to say before saying I won't be coming to their church struggle4progress Dec 2015 #76

I actually just had two such men stop by my house Siwsan Dec 2015 #78

Funny SwankyXomb Dec 2015 #92

I Have Guards Posted The River Dec 2015 #79

I've found that being honest and kind gets the best results. Maedhros Dec 2015 #82

They keep trying because they think they are saving you from an awful ending. Egnever Dec 2015 #83

I used to live in a neighborhood that got flooded with Crazy Christians once a week... Walk away Dec 2015 #84

I had a fairly large NO SOLICITING sign when I lived in Houston. Manifestor_of_Light Dec 2015 #163

They usually come in twos - look out the window and refuse jwirr Dec 2015 #87

Religion solicitors don't worry me. blogslut Dec 2015 #88

Yeah, I worry about those kids too Cal Carpenter Dec 2015 #112

I just tell them we're Buddhists. Tierra_y_Libertad Dec 2015 #89

Lol, there's a Liberty University ad at the bottom of this thread. giftedgirl77 Dec 2015 #90

It depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Vinca Dec 2015 #91

This is funny as heck, I just had sorefeet Dec 2015 #94

I don't have respect for the beliefs themselves -- they're completely wacky. Arugula Latte Dec 2015 #121

Thats what I meant to sorefeet Dec 2015 #161

Cool. We are on the same page. Arugula Latte Dec 2015 #165

Answer the door while naked. Eleanors38 Dec 2015 #95

I have a sign posted: Arugula Latte Dec 2015 #98

Invite them in Android3.14 Dec 2015 #101

close the door and don't answer it when they come back. abakan Dec 2015 #102

Fire up a fatty..... ghostsinthemachine Dec 2015 #103

A lot mellower than I used to. BarbaRosa Dec 2015 #104

me, too. No need to be rude to folks as long as they are polite as ours always are... CTyankee Dec 2015 #106

Flamethrower. AzDar Dec 2015 #107

At my mom's house we used to get them to come to the door - now at my current MillennialDem Dec 2015 #108

Well, that would certainly answer some questions, I guess. ladyVet Dec 2015 #166

I tell them I am firmly against symbolic cannibalism and the worship of torture devices. Cassiopeia Dec 2015 #109

Depends how they act, and how much time I have. JoePhilly Dec 2015 #110

I get them every two weeks in my area. FloridaBlues Dec 2015 #111

We used a "no solicitors" sign and placed it inanna Dec 2015 #113

Our sign is similar: "NO SOLICITORS -- religious or otherwise. We are happy just the way we are. LuckyLib Dec 2015 #179

Immediately say Not INTERESTED HockeyMom Dec 2015 #114

Shout "Hail Satan" and watch them run. Paula Sims Dec 2015 #116

Bwahahahhahahahaha!! darkangel218 Dec 2015 #180

I've lived here since 1987 and had one call like that in all those years tularetom Dec 2015 #117

With a sign that says: a la izquierda Dec 2015 #118

I fuck with them BIG TIME JunkYardDogg Dec 2015 #119

The most aggressive solicitor of the past 5 years was Greenpeace Prism Dec 2015 #122

Honestly, I talk to them. Marr Dec 2015 #123

I don't open my door unless I know who's there. nt valerief Dec 2015 #126

Soon as they ring the doorbell, saltpoint Dec 2015 #127

Night nurses are RABID when some asshole wakes them up to sell them Jesus Warpy Dec 2015 #128

As a general rule, I try to be civil. SomethingNew Dec 2015 #130

I am more likely to get people looking for day work...mowing, weeding, snow removal CTyankee Dec 2015 #132

explosives? bowens43 Dec 2015 #133

They are extremely insecure people looking for acceptance. When one tells them their RKP5637 Dec 2015 #134

Depends on the sect TlalocW Dec 2015 #137

my cold eye stare and "not interested, thanks" usually works. JanMichael Dec 2015 #140

When I answered the door the cleancut gentleman with the pamphlets grntuscarora Dec 2015 #141

i am usually polite, chat a bit, thank them and say I have to get back to some work I was doing DrDan Dec 2015 #142

Same way I get rid of political canvassers doing precisely the same thing... LanternWaste Dec 2015 #143

Answer the door naked. KamaAina Dec 2015 #145

I let them get a look at my religious statues Marrah_G Dec 2015 #146

Heh Hekate Dec 2015 #171

Know more about the Bible (KJV, the apocrypha, and the book of Mormon) than they do. haele Dec 2015 #147

Gimp costume. briv1016 Dec 2015 #148

"I don't talk about my beliefs with people who go door-to-door." Brickbat Dec 2015 #150

i don't completely believe you said that Enrique Dec 2015 #151

My cousin was once married to a man who kind of looked like Jesus KansDem Dec 2015 #153

Before they say anything, I smile, say "No thank you", then close the door. Iggo Dec 2015 #155

I just tell them I'm not interested in a firm tone of voice, smile, and gently close the door steve2470 Dec 2015 #156

I tell them I can't talk right now because I'm too busy masturbating. Act_of_Reparation Dec 2015 #157

I asked 2 Mormons if I could have 2 wives in 2005 (I'm female) we can do it Dec 2015 #158

I simply have a Mezuzah on my door. MosheFeingold Dec 2015 #159

we have one, too, but it can't be seen from the outside. As I said earlier in the thread CTyankee Dec 2015 #168

Technically MosheFeingold Dec 2015 #169

Oh, Moshe, don't worry about it. CTyankee Dec 2015 #174

On a trip Runningdawg Dec 2015 #160

I get those Watch Tower Jehovah�s Witnesses banging on my door every B Calm Dec 2015 #162

I tell them I'm calling the cops Major Nikon Dec 2015 #164

Ask them the latitude and longitude of their birth, day and minute... MrMickeysMom Dec 2015 #167

I say, "Go in peace," as I shut the door. It's better karma all around. Hekate Dec 2015 #170

"Why get aggravated? Just send them on their way with words of peace." Ikonoklast Dec 2015 #178

Take their pamphlet and say thanks. Zing Zing Zingbah Dec 2015 #172

Many years ago, I used to have a neighbor HeiressofBickworth Dec 2015 #175

Quote the Bible at them. Matthew 6:5 and 6:6. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Dec 2015 #176

I look to see who it is, then put on a Gasmask I have by the door and pick up the fake machete. Katashi_itto Dec 2015 #181

"Salaam Aleikum"? AnnieBW Dec 2015 #183

"no preaching plaque" Warren DeMontague Dec 2015 #184

Even here in Korea I occasionally come across people like this davidpdx Dec 2015 #186

My Fave ProfessorGAC Dec 2015 #188

those are usually Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons. Spider Jerusalem Dec 2015 #189