General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Girl has Sex With 25 Guys But It is Not A "Whore" Problem; It is A Mental Health Problem [View all]Xithras
(16,191 posts)I've discussed my involvement in BDSM before, but I'm going to get very graphic here for a moment to illustrate a point.
Three weeks ago I had sex with a woman while her husband was tied to a folding chair across the room, watching with a ball gag in his mouth. When she and I were done, I walked across the room, kicked his chair over, and had sex with him while his wife smacked him with a cat o nine.
To be clear, this was THEIR kink, not mine. The couple are very good friends of mine, they have been married in a D/S relationship for nearly 20 years, and THIS IS WHAT TURNS THEM ON. They knew that I'm into bondage, asked me if I'd be willing to "help" them play out a scenario, and I agreed.
Now, would you say they are of "sound mind"? A lot of people wouldn't. A lot of people consider anything that isn't straight, heterosexual sex to be deviant. Even liberals often limit their sexual acceptance to the various forms of serial monogamy. Anything beyond that must indicate that something is wrong with you...right?
People have kinks. Kinks are weird. I don't understand the appeal of Dom/Sub any more than I understand Furries, but I recognize them all for what they are...people pushing their own boundaries to further their enjoyment of life and sex. It turns them on. It makes them happy. If everyone is consenting and happy, what's the problem?
Would I recommend that 16 year old girls participate in 20 person gangbangs? Of course not. At that age, there's often a lack of understanding about how to do it safely, and the very fact that she did it in a school demonstrates recklessness and immaturity. But at the same time, it's silly to claim that 16 year old's can't have sexual kinks or have sexual preferences that may fall well outside the mainstream. Can a 16 year old be gay? Or have a meaningless hookup? Or a poly relationship? At what point does a teenagers sexual orientation or preferences cross a line and indicate that their mind is unsound?
My objection is to the very existence of the line. If the only difference between the left and right is where we place the line, then the left and right aren't as different as they like to pretend. Genuine liberalism requires that you erase the line, and understand that you don't have to agree with something in order to accept the fact that others are going to engage in it.
Everyone, including a teenager, has a right to their kinks...so long as she is consenting and happy, and so long as nobody is harmed. My objection to this discussion is the notion that her sexual decisions constitute some sort of mental illness, which of horrifically offensive to those of us who aren't vanilla white-bread straights. It's the same argument that the right used to medicate or lock away LGBT and "sexual deviants" for decades.