I'm Just ... Tired

[emmadoggy]

9. I definitely feel it.

I have felt very stressed and tired since the election. And my admittedly already hopeless fingernails are an utter ruin these days.

I have a raging case of outrage fatigue. Every day there are a dozen or more new outrages flying at me and I just feel drained. It's sucking the life out of me. We're raising teenage twins - terrified for their future, and hopeless about college in a few years, to say nothing of proms and graduations and cars. I'm working a job that pays only 10 months of the year and keeps me under 30 hours so I can't get insurance benefits. Hubby is working two jobs to help us make ends meet, so we hardly see him. His little bit of extra income from the second job is putting us dangerously close to the income limit for losing our state health insurance for the kids (thankfully, we seem to have just squeaked by approval for this year - but very worried about next year). We have a mountain of debt that we never seem to make any progress on. We hate the town we live in (streets are a MESS and there are FAR too many Republicans. We'd love to move, but there's no hope of that!). I have a brother who is a raging Trumpite. UGH. And just all the other demands and struggles of day to day life.

It's exhausting. It's just very, very hard to find the bright spots and glean some enjoyment out of life. And I know I sound horribly whiny and ridiculous when, at the same time, I am very aware that huge numbers of people are in MUCH, much worse positions than I am. So then I feel guilty, too, on top of everything else.