General Discussion

Cary

(11,746 posts)

251. Discussing an issue before reaching a conclusion isn't "defense" of rape culture

Tue Nov 14, 2017, 11:45 AM

Nov 2017

That's my only complaint. Wherever the line is drawn, it's drawn. I don't think anyone needs to sending naked pictures but then what bothers me here is that I don't want to know what happens between two consenting adults any more than I want to know whether a woman chooses to have an abortion or use birth control or whatever. I don't want to know who is having sex with whom.

To me consensual sex is a private matter and I shudder at the gossip and innuendo and whatever else.

I think the discussion is important and it should be had without the judgmental nonsense. Just because someone doesn't toe a particular line in that discussion doesn't mean that they should be opened up to accusations regarding their person, ridicule, or any kind of scorn.

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Showing someone your dick is rape culture [View all] obamanut2012 Nov 2017 OP

Yes, it is. MineralMan Nov 2017 #1

It confounds me so many people think obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #2

Weird. MineralMan Nov 2017 #5

for example: graphic: dick pics JustABozoOnThisBus Nov 2017 #244

In principle it is clear Cary Nov 2017 #7

Your argument for handwaving some of this is confounding to me obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #9

Thanks for making my point Cary Nov 2017 #20

I'm with you... some "consent" lines are clear, some a little blurry. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #78

The horror! Cary Nov 2017 #105

You didn't notice that most of these women didn't say yes? How clearer could it be? bettyellen Nov 2017 #127

Yes, that is the clear cut case... no one could seriously argue otherwise. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #132

It's all my fault Cary Nov 2017 #144

Give me a break. You made yourself quite clear. Hekate Nov 2017 #153

I made what clear? Cary Nov 2017 #156

What a bunch of gaslighting bullshit. Not surprised though. bettyellen Nov 2017 #159

Show me where I "gaslight bullshit" Cary Nov 2017 #160

Don't "act out your issue on me". In other words, bug off. bettyellen Nov 2017 #162

Sure feels to me like you're trying to bully me Cary Nov 2017 #165

Quoting you feels like bullying, does it? Telling you to go away is bullying? Nope. bettyellen Nov 2017 #167

Nope. Cary Nov 2017 #171

I wasn't- I was quoting you trying to make it about "my issues" which is just gas lighting bullshit. bettyellen Nov 2017 #207

Please take out your aggression on someone else Cary Nov 2017 #215

There is a legitimate issue being discussed here Cary Nov 2017 #253

The fact that you think you think consent is always 100 percent clear in concerning to me mythology Nov 2017 #60

It's not that difficult. Consent is an ongoing thing that depends on enthusiastic participation. He bettyellen Nov 2017 #130

I love the mercuryblues Nov 2017 #202

If you have to ask what a person leaving a locking the door means, you don't deserve sex, LOL... you bettyellen Nov 2017 #211

I don't think I was clear enough with my post mercuryblues Nov 2017 #212

Yet they all had easy answers, LOL. bettyellen Nov 2017 #224

"Would the line of consent be so clear'? whathehell Nov 2017 #54

I have seen females lie with the same frequency as I have seen males lie Cary Nov 2017 #64

Um, are you accusing me of lying or do you think women are lying whathehell Nov 2017 #83

I agree with you, what you describe is clearly over the line of consent. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #88

Yes, absolutely. n/t. whathehell Nov 2017 #94

That's seems fair. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #133

Why is your son giving his contact info out to so many strange women? bettyellen Nov 2017 #226

lol, been on social media much?! It's called social networking... InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #227

Yeah, I'm just picky about who's allowed to send me private messages. bettyellen Nov 2017 #229

Different age... he's not bothered at all, as I said. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #231

You hadn't said anything at all about his reaction to this. You must be thinking of somethging else. bettyellen Nov 2017 #233

My bad... said that to someone else. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #242

Consent is consent. It is not unclear. MineralMan Nov 2017 #56

Most of the time. Cary Nov 2017 #67

No. Always. If it is not clear, it does not exist. MineralMan Nov 2017 #75

In spite of concerns from internet strangers i do not partake Cary Nov 2017 #87

No problem. Sending unsolicited images like that should be illegal. MineralMan Nov 2017 #107

As a lawyer, have you ever represented a flasher/weenie waver? whathehell Nov 2017 #111

THIS. X 1,000,000. nt TheFrenchRazor Nov 2017 #175

By the way this is not new. Cary Nov 2017 #82

Of course it's not new. MineralMan Nov 2017 #85

It means what In said in the post Cary Nov 2017 #89

Lol..You still haven't answered on consent for weenie waving & dick pics whathehell Nov 2017 #146

Who are you? Cary Nov 2017 #151

Nice try. whathehell Nov 2017 #155

Show me where you made an "argument" and where I tried to "rebut" Cary Nov 2017 #157

I'll be happy to.. whathehell Nov 2017 #222

I see. Out of one side of your mouth you accuse me of "rebutting" Cary Nov 2017 #223

Um, no, you apparently do not see.. whathehell Nov 2017 #225

You almost "won" Cary Nov 2017 #234

"and now I can never, ever take you seriously, ever again" whathehell Nov 2017 #238

I don't recall having run into you before Cary Nov 2017 #246

I'd bet you don't 'recall' quite a few here.. whathehell Nov 2017 #247

You give yourself too much credit Cary Nov 2017 #248

Lol..Project much? whathehell Nov 2017 #249

Buh bye. Cary Nov 2017 #250

Wow.. whathehell Nov 2017 #254

Why is that my responsibility? Cary Nov 2017 #255

Where did I say it was your responsibility? whathehell Nov 2017 #256

I didn't say you said it explicitly Cary Nov 2017 #257

And let's be clear here about who is the mess... Cary Nov 2017 #258

And I didn't suggest your examples were consent. Cary Nov 2017 #91

I have a friend, a Democrat, who stupidly said some things to a Republican female Cary Nov 2017 #99

It sure as hell doesn't meet any standards of mine. MineralMan Nov 2017 #109

I don't expect perfection Cary Nov 2017 #154

Ah, there's your problem RandomAccess Nov 2017 #189

Excuse me? Cary Nov 2017 #193

So, are you saying that form of verbal consent is required before engaging in any sexual activity? InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #92

Verbal. No, not necessarily. MineralMan Nov 2017 #102

This message was self-deleted by its author InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #129

Except consent is not always so obvious and clear Kentonio Nov 2017 #168

It is in cases of weenie waves & dick pics, which is what we are whathehell Nov 2017 #177

In keeping with recent events, this topic concerrned dick pics & weenie waving whathehell Nov 2017 #147

Clearly, yes, NON-consensual... so what's there to discuss then? InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #173

Yes, you and a couple others are willing to concede that whathehell Nov 2017 #178

Oh okay, then I see where you're coming from. InAbLuEsTaTe Nov 2017 #195

Okay, then whathehell Nov 2017 #241

You're right RandomAccess Nov 2017 #188

Yup ismnotwasm Nov 2017 #3

Yup obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #6

I don't know either. You've commented from time to time MineralMan Nov 2017 #14

Its also blatantly racist ismnotwasm Nov 2017 #16

I think it says that our culture is coarsening. MineralMan Nov 2017 #18

our society needs to make exposure of internet porn to children a crime. even by email & click18. Sunlei Nov 2017 #30

Agreed.. whathehell Nov 2017 #69

i am on a board where young men talk about porngraphy. It mostly makes them think their penises emulatorloo Nov 2017 #28

Vanilla porn is fairly straightforward ismnotwasm Nov 2017 #38

These are young guys with a healthy interest in consensual sex w adult partners emulatorloo Nov 2017 #42

What they are is basically fan fiction with movie stars of choice ismnotwasm Nov 2017 #59

I admit to only seeing a small sample of Internet porn. MineralMan Nov 2017 #61

Yes I think it is very accurate to say it is male fantasy of what sex is. emulatorloo Nov 2017 #90

When kids see it, it's always viewed naively. MineralMan Nov 2017 #95

Agreed adolescent boys should not be viewing that stuff emulatorloo Nov 2017 #100

And I'm talking about non-adults. MineralMan Nov 2017 #103

The small amount I've seen is also highly anti- female whathehell Nov 2017 #245

It seems the line is being re-drawn Cary Nov 2017 #4

If BilL ever showed his dick unsolicited, then yes obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #8

Bill is accused of rape Cary Nov 2017 #11

I'll have to check, but as I recall, there was one rape allegation, but she took it back ... Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #31

Ok. But that's not what I am contemplating. Cary Nov 2017 #49

If I remember right emulatorloo Nov 2017 #51

Given what I k is of the so called "elves" Cary Nov 2017 #74

There was the one rape accusation, but a few other accusations of sexual assault. 7962 Nov 2017 #136

The post I was responding to was about rape, though. (But Willey recanted her alleg.) Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #176

That was Broderick. Willey has never recanted. 7962 Nov 2017 #180

Pardon me: Willey was proven to have lied. Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #182

Oh yeah, Vitter's a scumbag. 7962 Nov 2017 #187

not positive, but I think he was impeached because he lied under oath. Sunlei Nov 2017 #24

Yes, except he wasn't really impeached. Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #33

He was impeached but not convicted of the charges of impeachment. calimary Nov 2017 #53

He was indicted by the house and the Senate voted not guilty. nt Tavarious Jackson Nov 2017 #62

He was impeached RhodeIslandOne Nov 2017 #214

He was impeached straight across party lines because Republicans hate him Cary Nov 2017 #55

The line: sexual activity is between two consenting adults. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #35

Monica says it was consensual. However, Clinton was the most powerful man in the world and CTyankee Nov 2017 #164

It is an aspect of rape culture, certainly, because The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #10

Because they feel entitled to obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #13

Yes, but what do they think they'll get from it? The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #17

I've asked this of many pushy men over the years and the answer is playing the percentages... bettyellen Nov 2017 #166

Agreed Kalibaba Nov 2017 #230

Is it a culture thing, or just a fucked-up wiring thing? Dave Starsky Nov 2017 #19

agreed. these guys have something mentally wrong w them emulatorloo Nov 2017 #32

What ever the numbers, there are enough men aggravating the crap out of women. nt Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #66

I think the fucked-up-wiring thing has always been there, but the culture thing USED to Nay Nov 2017 #81

While I don't dispute the OP's theory, whathehell Nov 2017 #124

I would have thought sending someone a picture of my junk to be... 3catwoman3 Nov 2017 #185

One of the Hollywood males said this is "flirting" and part of seducing someone. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #40

That's just twisted. The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #44

It would certainly be a turn off to me. But some of these guys seem to think it is a turn on. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #46

I can't think of a bigger turn off. All that says to me is that the sender is smirkymonkey Nov 2017 #139

Really. First date screen out immediately. nt Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #150

Sure.. That's why they're losing their jobs over it whathehell Nov 2017 #112

They really do not understand women at all. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #119

No, like weenie wavers, they're almost comical in that respect whathehell Nov 2017 #121

Really, they need to be sent to dating boot camp. You can imagine what it would be like. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #122

Yes.. whathehell Nov 2017 #128

Yes in the abstract quite funny. Most good humor has an underlying edge to it. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #149

Okay whathehell Nov 2017 #220

Here's how RandomAccess Nov 2017 #192

Thanks, RandomAccess whathehell Nov 2017 #219

Exactly! Rape culture, entitlement, etc. obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #197

Never mind whether the behaviors are attractive -- RandomAccess Nov 2017 #191

Uh, yep. Iggo Nov 2017 #12

Agree that it is part of that culture. Cuthbert Allgood Nov 2017 #15

I think Louis C.K. is a self absorbed creep. bench scientist Nov 2017 #71

He included it because it was part of the discussion of power Cuthbert Allgood Nov 2017 #152

Nope he included cause he only cares about himself. bench scientist Nov 2017 #158

If any guy had even asked me if I... 3catwoman3 Nov 2017 #186

Fair enough Cuthbert Allgood Nov 2017 #190

I'd like to second that.. whathehell Nov 2017 #243

No, his fake apologu sucks obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #198

Third paragraph of his statement: "I have been remorseful of my actions." Cuthbert Allgood Nov 2017 #203

I just can't wrap my mind around Hayduke Bomgarte Nov 2017 #21

happens to a lot of people & children that way. you never forget that first time your eyes drop Sunlei Nov 2017 #22

20 yrs ago, it was a joke on Seinfeld... Dennis Donovan Nov 2017 #23

I don't think "it" (the bit) was a "joke". musette_sf Nov 2017 #45

I think that boys learn to masterbate to porn, and get the message that ehrnst Nov 2017 #25

Many men are obsessed with their organ. They assume women must be, too. Remember Freud. Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #36

This. When I have just casually mentioned to boyfriends that gee, a penis is Nay Nov 2017 #68

Bumping Uglies thbobby Nov 2017 #104

LOL! nt Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #113

As someone who HAS one, I don't understand why they were shocked. 7962 Nov 2017 #115

LOL. There's a reason most women don't seek out pics of penises on the internet. Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #118

And probably why there are very few strip clubs catering to women!! nt 7962 Nov 2017 #138

The erect penis is featured in most porn targeted to straight men. ehrnst Nov 2017 #172

Indeed. Penises are pretty ugly! Lucky Luciano Nov 2017 #117

That is interesting, had not thought about it that way, but makes sense. Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #41

THis has nothing to do with porn obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #199

I think "these guys always escalate" is an over-statement that diminishes your point. thesquanderer Nov 2017 #26

Read John Douglas and Robert Ressler -- they escalate obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #200

I think you could have offered your persepective... thesquanderer Nov 2017 #239

FWIW I believe most men know how to behave around women and understand no means no emulatorloo Nov 2017 #27

K&R Solly Mack Nov 2017 #29

I don't get it. Men, tell us why your species is obsessed with displaying their junk? procon Nov 2017 #34

Why do I have to justify the behavior of men who have some mental aberration? emulatorloo Nov 2017 #39

You just explained much of what I've long suspected. procon Nov 2017 #47

"Courtship ritual," LOL! I'd much rather see a courtship display The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #50

Yeah, I'm with you. If I wanted a stag in rut, I'd buy a hunting license. nt procon Nov 2017 #57

Funny that you should ask... Orrex Nov 2017 #58

Animals! procon Nov 2017 #65

There certainly are plenty who have trouble keeping their shit together. Orrex Nov 2017 #72

The only ones I've ever known to do it thought exactly that. 7962 Nov 2017 #120

... Skittles Nov 2017 #135

LOL - in my day, I have killed many a budding romance with a untimely laugh. nt procon Nov 2017 #143

No one ever sends me vagina pictures or flashes her vagina at me IronLionZion Nov 2017 #37

Part of the disparity in reactions of men to vajayjay pics and women to dick pics is the Nay Nov 2017 #97

For the people who treat others the way they want to be treated IronLionZion Nov 2017 #108

I would never say that it was ALWAYS a positive experience for men -- note that I did Nay Nov 2017 #116

Let's not forget the fear of pregnancy for a woman. fierywoman Nov 2017 #232

Men are taught to love their penis, women taught to hate their body parts. nt Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #43

See my post #28 emulatorloo Nov 2017 #48

So some men hate their penis and that is why they flash it around? Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #63

Did I say anything remotely like that? No emulatorloo Nov 2017 #77

Sorry for misunderstanding. nt Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #80

No worries n/t emulatorloo Nov 2017 #84

Does Bible cover this?????? Cryptoad Nov 2017 #52

Only if you hold it right. MineralMan Nov 2017 #73

I agree. Men sending unsolicited dick pics and flashing is a form of power play and control. SweetieD Nov 2017 #70

That's true, but a little while back I overheard something funny... Orrex Nov 2017 #76

Anbody in their 30's who dates teenagers is,,,, Cryptoad Nov 2017 #79

+100. MineralMan Nov 2017 #86

Rape culture or porn stars? saidsimplesimon Nov 2017 #93

Agreed - K&R Politicub Nov 2017 #96

So is flashing your breasts rape culture? Body paint modeling in public? Steven Maurer Nov 2017 #98

Aren't you precious obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #201

You're even more so Steven Maurer Nov 2017 #208

it's always about them Skittles Nov 2017 #236

If by some accident videohead5 Nov 2017 #101

Isn't that why men wear a jock strap so it doesn't pop out accidentally? Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #123

Yeah videohead5 Nov 2017 #126

Good for you. That says a lot about your character in a good way. nt Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #148

boxer briefs IronLionZion Nov 2017 #161

How about no dick pics ever again? Not Ruth Nov 2017 #106

Now, that makes sense. Thank you! MineralMan Nov 2017 #110

If I'm asked, I'm happy to send them. Codeine Nov 2017 #213

Heres this on consent ismnotwasm Nov 2017 #114

Some men like Louis CK just haven't gotten the "WTH CARES, YA PERVERT?!" message. WinkyDink Nov 2017 #125

Years ago there was a Playboy cartoon Marthe48 Nov 2017 #131

Why the heck is he showing you pics of guys penises??? 7962 Nov 2017 #140

I didn't know then and I don't know now Marthe48 Nov 2017 #179

correct Skittles Nov 2017 #134

Agreed - I was driving in a rural area and a guy was really creeping me out because he womanofthehills Nov 2017 #235

No penetration, no rape rock Nov 2017 #137

Rape CULTURE includes tolerance of sexual harassment. 50 Shades Of Blue Nov 2017 #142

I would have no dispute rock Nov 2017 #145

Disagree. It's all part of the same dynamic where women are considered fair game for men 50 Shades Of Blue Nov 2017 #163

Let me be clear (as clear as I can, anyways) rock Nov 2017 #169

I was waiting for the rape culture denial ismnotwasm Nov 2017 #181

I also mention Hitler rock Nov 2017 #183

You seem confused by a simple predicate-qualifier. LanternWaste Nov 2017 #204

Splitting hairs to defend this kind of shit is part of rape culture. bettyellen Nov 2017 #170

What a mighty useful term rock Nov 2017 #174

As do your pronouncements LanternWaste Nov 2017 #205

I haven't the vaguest idea of what you're talking about rock Nov 2017 #206

The reason for the excess hostility is that they have no answer Steven Maurer Nov 2017 #209

I fear you are right rock Nov 2017 #210

This message was self-deleted by its author Skittles Nov 2017 #194

Then you should call yourself out as well kcr Nov 2017 #217

You miss the point entirely rock Nov 2017 #218

Tell that to yourself. Your own words: Conflating lewd and unseemly acts with rape shows bad reason kcr Nov 2017 #221

Well, I'll give you that rock Nov 2017 #237

cut it off SummerSnow Nov 2017 #141

i see it more about de evolution. ooh. monkey man wants to show me his tool. pansypoo53219 Nov 2017 #184

I ahd something come up yestterday, and am just able to ome back to this thread obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #196

Sex assault of defended regularly on here Bradical79 Nov 2017 #216

Discussing an issue before reaching a conclusion isn't "defense" of rape culture Cary Nov 2017 #251

Male Privilege. whathehell Nov 2017 #259

Even asking to see someones dick is a potential violation Loki Liesmith Nov 2017 #228

So you would rely on the read the other person's mind exactly or else technique? Cary Nov 2017 #252

Message auto-removed Name removed Nov 2017 #240