Forget Russia: HRC's Malia email scandal [View all]
This is a developing story meant to distract you from issues that are actually important...
A newly discovered email from HRC's private server shows she forwarded a picture of a young Malia Obama running with scissors. Senator Mitch McConnell was the first to comment on this: "It demonstrates a clear lack of parental control or guidance. How can the nation trust Barack Obama to lead it if he is incapable of handling his own child? It is time we impeach Obama before he can cause any more trouble". President (sic) tRump echoed the sentiment in a text that read, "Obama biggly bad. Crooked Hillary email proves it. Putin told me so! Dems are losers. Sad! Pathetic". Congressman Trey Gowdy, who has been entirely focused on damning Hillary after she was cleared by the FBI told reporters, "This Malia Obama picture was forwarded to ten separate people. That's TEN people who were able to view this highly classified photo. How many more classified photos will our investigation turn up?" Roy Moore of Alabama brought up the news in a campaign speech, telling his audience that the scissors were not even children's safety scissors, "I should know because I have a LOT of experience with children's.....safety scissors".
When the Times reached out to Hillary Clinton for comment, she sent an emoticon 
as her reply. We take this to mean she admits her guilt and will shortly turn herself over to the authorities.
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