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In reply to the discussion: So my straight employee was sexually harassed last night by 2 gay men in front of his wife [View all]whathehell
(30,331 posts)261. Really? Please explain.
Simply saying so won't work.
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So my straight employee was sexually harassed last night by 2 gay men in front of his wife [View all]
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
OP
The employee, according to his story, was harassed by men who had been drinking,
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#151
I just looked at all your posts above this one and have no idea what you're referring to.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#196
"And yet he just walked away"???? That is all women usually do when they're sexually harassed.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#205
I agree. It is sexist and undermines the truth that gay people and straight people
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#207
I don't get why some think the OP is not believable. Actor Terry Crews just recently recounted...
brush
Dec 2017
#109
Me, too. I think sometimes people react this way because they don't want to be homophobic.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#220
Of course they can but the OP's likely apocryphal story isn't an example of it.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#24
Around 15 years ago I used to get hit on by a guy who was our resident engineer from Lucent
snooper2
Dec 2017
#14
He was around for 2-3 years, I felt bad for him because outside of earshot people would do gay jokes
snooper2
Dec 2017
#25
I think it is an attack on Gay people, and made up too...not by the poster, but by the one who told
Demsrule86
Dec 2017
#306
Then they should go rut on a tree somewhere, not on a human they've not involved with. n/t
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#258
Well I suppose there are all sorts of stuff and some really want to tell a tale
BoneyardDem
Dec 2017
#15
How is that sexual assault? Yes, it is unwanted. It is an invasion of your space.
Doodley
Dec 2017
#27
Because the offense has already occurred. What seems simple is that people should keep
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#266
No it is not... as a survivor of sexual assault...I can tell you it is no such thing.
Demsrule86
Dec 2017
#307
I don't give a damn...this muddies the water...my attacker was a stranger and there was
Demsrule86
Dec 2017
#340
Yep, I'm for real - and I find unwanted touching, bigotry or power over others unacceptable.
Doodley
Dec 2017
#212
Then why are you justifying sexual harassment when engaged in by a group of men on a man? n/t
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#213
for the leg touching? Nope. But if it was a brief accidental touch while getting seated .... it's
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#204
It wasn't a brief accidental touch while getting seated. He said that the man "reached over"
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#217
None of that is in the OP. He must have needed to add more damning details because the OP was vague
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#219
Well when discussing harassment in the workplace, status matters greatly. Strange it doesn't to the
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#224
Ask strange that it was 2/4 and I guess the other guys just gawked at them?
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#228
I got confused as the context was "my employee" and work place harassment is more serious/
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#232
This is obviously way too personal for you, and yore ascribing homophobia to others here...
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#236
What does that have to do with anything? A gay person doesn't have any more right
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#215
Was there a grope? The touching arms and legs thing sounded odd/ like maybe inadvertent while
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#218
Why? Why do you assume that a gay guy would have welcomed a stranger's hand on his thigh?
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#214
Some gay men made an entreaty to a straight man and told him to ditch his wife ?
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#22
There's a big world out there so it's hard to dismiss any story with 100% uncertainty.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#47
I don't disbelieve your story. I hope your employee has more appreciation for how it feels, now.
yardwork
Dec 2017
#181
And I'm suspicious of his story. I think he had an agenda in telling you this.
yardwork
Dec 2017
#303
This isn't about love or sexual desire. It was just a power play, mocking the man with the wife.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#275
I've seen the same thing joked about by folks of all genders and orientations- and publicly when
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#237
He should have taken it as a compliment. I don't see too many reasons to be upset.
Doodley
Dec 2017
#23
That's the same attitude women have had to put up with since forever.
The Velveteen Ocelot
Dec 2017
#34
I took it as a compliment when I was asked if I wanted a blow job. I am just saying that
Doodley
Dec 2017
#44
Gross. No woman would take that as a compliment. If a stranger said the equivalent to a woman
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#148
IMO, this is an instance of choosing to be a victim. I agree with what you say, but
Doodley
Dec 2017
#41
Would you say that if the story was about four men surrounding a woman and touching
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#284
Bullshit. If it happened, it would have been just as nasty as when men do it to women.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#127
As every woman and most men know, "S/he should have taken it as a compliment" is not a new argument.
Iggo
Dec 2017
#191
hard to believe some of these posts . . . I guess it's not unlike what a woman experiences
DrDan
Dec 2017
#29
Ahh thanks for calling me out as a liar. Sounds like something a Roy Moore supporter would say
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#113
You weren't being called a "gay predator", the story's narrative was about gay predators.
Fla Dem
Dec 2017
#245
The story was about men drinking alcohol, traveling in a pack, and acting like jerks.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#274
If he wanted to say glbtq people can sexually harass people too he should have just said so.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#61
Pretty sure an evangelical molesting teen girls would never get elected to the Senate either
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#169
Who said they were nice? They were obnoxious people in a bar, ganging up on someone
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#291
I have already established the conditions where I would believe in the inerrancy of this account
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#338
watched a guy yesterday screaming at his 3 dogs in the middle of a dog park as they
populistdriven
Dec 2017
#75
Had a. Coworker on to me. Really didn't understand his constant smiles and winks. Final!y
bagelsforbreakfast
Dec 2017
#39
May e I missed why he didn't just tell them off for being so rude to his wife?
bagelsforbreakfast
Dec 2017
#46
I must be missing something. Would he not say, stop that now the minute the behavior began?
Tipperary
Dec 2017
#55
They all talked for about 10 to 15 minutes...nothing out of the ordinary
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#110
Shyer people often don't know how to react because they might not understand what's happening
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#280
Out of curiosity, is "straight employee" his job title, or is that more of an honorary thing?
Orrex
Dec 2017
#56
I have been trying for the last ten minutes to formulate a response.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#352
Well just because people say Roy Moore's accusers didn't do it make it true?
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#106
Yes it is an anecdote that I shared to which I have no reason to not believe
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#175
And no it wasn't in Akron. But flattered you are looking at my profile.
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#163
And maybe your intolerance of any story that doesn't fit your narrative
titaniumsalute
Dec 2017
#382
Not everyone is comfortable bringing more attention to themselves with loud voices or complaints.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#233
That's true in theory, but not all people are equally capable of that response. 70% of the US
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#244
Even so, is the legs were "touched" he could have taken a step back. It's a public place for fucks
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#336
How do you know he didn't take a step back? Haven't you ever had someone move closer
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#355
Nope- he says two were pestering him. Two just watched without anything remarkable happening...
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#364
The employee probably never dreamed his story would be shared to the world on DU
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#366
It struck me immediately how off the story was. I do doubt it happened for quite a few reasons. I
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#368
I don't think he was "assaulted a second time." I think that they were harassing him -- there's
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#369
You just imagined a scenario where a standing man assaulted a man on the leg, the man backs up, and
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#372
No I didn't. I never used the word "assault." And I didn't say anything about when
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#373
Elsewhere in the thread you said unwanted touching is assault- I get that you didn't realize it was
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#375
Nope. I didn't. That wasn't me. I never used the word assault, and I wouldn't, not in this case.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#376
MM, some folks are creating a straw man, that glbtq people can't be sexual abusers/harassers.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#92
As a woman, it has the ring of truth to me. The idea of four men in a pack, under the influence
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#288
I think it could be real. Gay people in bars are capable of the same jerkishness as straight people.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#145
Nobody Is saying glbtq people can't harass people, see Kevin Spacey and a career in tatters.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#77
Again. Nobody is saying GLBTQ people can't sexually harass or abuse people.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#80
Women are less likely to be the harassers than men, but the scenario you suggest
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#299
"People in this thread acting like gay people are immune to sexual harassment claims are full of it.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#79
In your experience men don't act that way. Based on my experience they certainly could. n/t
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#293
Why is it so hard for you to think a group of drinking guys could have been trolling
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#357
I don't know why I took the time to go back through the thread , but here's a few
Alea
Dec 2017
#189
But there's no reason to say that story couldn't be true except for preconceptions
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#292
What does your experience have to do with it? Has a gay man ever sexually harassed you at work?
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#154
this has only happened to me twice and both times the gay guy was slurring wasted
Sen. Walter Sobchak
Dec 2017
#87
I have never understood why people think it is OK to touch someone else apart from a handshake.
LonePirate
Dec 2017
#123
Exactly. Gay people are capable of the same range of behavior, good and bad, as straight people.
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#138
If they were guests at what appears to be a luxury suite, why would he have a bar tab to pay?
spooky3
Dec 2017
#144
Apparently a thigh grab and saucy comment were added to the story later? Missing for me was-
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#222
My reading was that the 50+ year old was approached by people he did NOT work with.
spooky3
Dec 2017
#227
Oooh, so it just sounded similar to workplace harassment but was a stranger who touched him.
bettyellen
Dec 2017
#230
My brother used to get cat called and a few times, followed by aggressive gay men
Sugarcoated
Dec 2017
#152
I think that's what they were doing, too. And a group of guys "just messing around" with someone --
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#184
Why? No one should have to take this kind of crap, and gay guys shouldn't get a pass
pnwmom
Dec 2017
#250
"Oh, uh, you know... the CONCERT... the one over at, you know, that place with the big stage..."
NurseJackie
Dec 2017
#203
The "9-to-5" office environment and "Mr. Hart" reminded me a LOT of where I worked...
NurseJackie
Dec 2017
#208
There's another possibility as well, and that's that the employee is not telling the whole story.
yardwork
Dec 2017
#305
There is the strong possibility that its a load of bullshit from start to finish.
LexVegas
Dec 2017
#316
Anybody can act badly regardless of his or her race, gender, religion, or orientation, et cetera.
DemocratSinceBirth
Dec 2017
#344
This all sounds like a rejected Seinfeld episode starring George Costanza! Nm
bagelsforbreakfast
Dec 2017
#379