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RoccoR5955

(12,471 posts)
45. I read it on the Internet, so it MUST be true.
Mon Mar 14, 2016, 08:05 PM
Mar 2016

I got this email from years ago:
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC).

Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for only 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).


It was on the Internet, so it MUST be true!

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

... jpak Mar 2016 #1
Here's the meme with the quote: L. Coyote Mar 2016 #61
can you believe it? underpants Mar 2016 #2
Actually let's get real people w0nderer Mar 2016 #3
World Wrestling Entertainment Geronimoe Mar 2016 #4
Stop insulting wrestlers!! Although you may get a laugh from this: 7962 Mar 2016 #24
I know nottin' ! Bernardo de La Paz Mar 2016 #5
If it's on the Intertubes shadowmayor Mar 2016 #6
I read a tweet on the internet that Trump is actually a Mexican, and ineligible to be President. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Mar 2016 #15
Must be one of the Irish deserters who fought for the Catholics to repulse the USA's invasion. L. Coyote Mar 2016 #62
Yes, I believe it BLACK4EVER Mar 2016 #7
“I don’t know, all I know is what’s on the internet.” olddad56 Mar 2016 #8
ISIS will probably CONTRIBUTE to Trump William Seger Mar 2016 #9
trump admits he's stupid. MariaThinks Mar 2016 #10
'Smart!' elleng Mar 2016 #11
Stunning Jeb Bartlet Mar 2016 #12
I read that Trump was having a gay affair with some hotel butler or something world wide wally Mar 2016 #13
If you read it on the internet it must be true groundloop Mar 2016 #17
Any convenient lie will do. lark Mar 2016 #14
Especially if it is reassuring Bernardo de La Paz Mar 2016 #22
At first I thought that Trump's camp passiveporcupine Mar 2016 #16
Agree shadowmayor Mar 2016 #19
Can you imagine AC_Mem Mar 2016 #18
“I don’t know, all I know is what’s on the internet.” Botany Mar 2016 #20
The problem with many JesterCS Mar 2016 #28
How presidential. nt awoke_in_2003 Mar 2016 #21
OOOoohh Chuck Tool mdbl Mar 2016 #23
This is my boyfriend. He's a French model. nt redwitch Mar 2016 #25
I have to tell you so many of your comments I read are always a perfect drop Person 2713 Mar 2016 #32
Thanks! redwitch Mar 2016 #41
An uninformed nominee for an uninformed political party. nt TeamPooka Mar 2016 #26
Trump Believes everything on the internets . This is POTUS material ? Person 2713 Mar 2016 #27
That's the problem: all a POTUS needs to know cannot be found on Twitter. Vinca Mar 2016 #29
as long as its a Republican saying or doing anything it's okay - BUT NoMoreRepugs Mar 2016 #30
THIS IS THE FINAL WARNING!!! From: FBI DIRECTOR {laboratoriomoine@speedy.com.ar} mahatmakanejeeves Mar 2016 #31
Hey, don't knock the internet - Expecting a Fortune soon packman Mar 2016 #33
DEAR MR. TRUMP: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP rocktivity Mar 2016 #56
Sounds like a sound investment-I'm sending them my bank routing number packman Mar 2016 #57
A Freudian Slip of Freudian Slips. Tommy_Carcetti Mar 2016 #34
Trumps to dependent on Twitter, He's ripe to be "breibarted". Sunlei Mar 2016 #35
Mr. "I don't accept responsibility" strikes again. suffragette Mar 2016 #36
Does that make him more of a selective human? cyberswede Mar 2016 #37
"Everything I Know About Governing I Learned from the Internet." Beartracks Mar 2016 #38
It's about par for the course. Bad Dog Mar 2016 #39
But his inablity to admit error reinforces that he is not capable of admitting mistakes Zira Mar 2016 #49
Only to his die hard supporters Bad Dog Mar 2016 #50
Watch out - if Minnesota could elect a pro-wrestler as governor ........ groundloop Mar 2016 #40
Trump Finds It On The Internet JGug1 Mar 2016 #42
This stuff complain jane Mar 2016 #43
He believes we are all idiots, and Ilsa Mar 2016 #44
I read it on the Internet, so it MUST be true. RoccoR5955 Mar 2016 #45
And here's tRump's first sellfie! RoccoR5955 Mar 2016 #46
Now there's a hole with no bottom Tab Mar 2016 #47
The man is not capable of apologizing or admitting error. Zira Mar 2016 #48
Oh, and we are supposed to believe that rationale? bobGandolf Mar 2016 #51
Well, must be ALL kinds of stuff on them internets about Trump! Roland99 Mar 2016 #52
Oh, and the Sunday talk shows ! n/t left-of-center2012 Mar 2016 #53
tRump is full of it Nolacs22 Mar 2016 #54
Funny, he doesn't look Nigerian rocktivity Mar 2016 #55
Disqualified. sofa king Mar 2016 #58
The campaign ads just write themselves.... nt Blasphemer Mar 2016 #59
So, Mr Trump, who do you consult with about foreign affairs? JustABozoOnThisBus Mar 2016 #60
What's on the internet: It's science. Initech Mar 2016 #63
The Quote: Quasimodem Mar 2016 #64
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