Mississippi rep accused of punching wife issues statement

[NCjack]

16. Probably happened like this:

Rep. Scumbag was begging wifey to stop serving him liquor. That really PO her, and she charged him like crazed elephant, holding a glass of booze and demanding him to open his mouth. He steeled himself in defense. He scrunched closed his eyes, extended his right arm, clenched his fist to prevent damage to fingers (he is an accomplished violinist), and gently said "sweetie, please control yourself." In her rage, she purposely collided with him -- her already distorted face slamming into his fist. She knew that if she could break his fingers, he would never play the piano (or was that the violin?) again. She would sell that damn violin (or was it a piano?) and get herself a sports car. But, she did not think ahead. This act could cause hubby to lose his chickenshit salary -- that elevates her above most of her fellow Miss-sip'ns. Only telling the truth and exonerating hubby will save that princely monthly paycheck. First thing this morning, she will meet with the GOP spinster and get her story out ahead of the fake news.