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onehandle

(51,122 posts)
1. George Carlin Got It Right!
Mon Sep 30, 2013, 06:05 PM
Sep 2013

Last edited Mon Sep 30, 2013, 07:24 PM - Edit history (1)

“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of f-ing Earth Day. I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is that there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles … hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages … And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn’t going anywhere. WE are!

We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Maybe a little Styrofoam … The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?”

Plastic… asshole.”

George Carlin Got It Right! onehandle Sep 2013 #1
"Don't sweat the petty things; and don't pet the sweaty things."............George Carlin red dog 1 Sep 2013 #6
OMG I just laughed so hard I almost lost it.... Pachamama Oct 2013 #16
The whole universe is plastic. When I was a kid they said everything Downwinder Sep 2013 #2
One word, plastics Riftaxe Sep 2013 #11
oooo I can hear the tinfoil hat brigade now TrogL Sep 2013 #3
Dang, they found my secret camping spot. nt Link Speed Sep 2013 #4
Titan is the only natural satellite known to have a dense atmosphere, red dog 1 Sep 2013 #5
Titan is also large enough ut oh Sep 2013 #9
Pack it in,Pack it out! Rain Mcloud Sep 2013 #7
Thanks Judy Lynn for posting. red dog 1 Sep 2013 #8
Just one word... PoliticAverse Sep 2013 #10
Alien litterbugs. DirkGently Sep 2013 #12
So our filth has spread that far now? nt Mnemosyne Sep 2013 #13
No. (nt) Posteritatis Oct 2013 #24
Now we can mine it! 7962 Sep 2013 #14
Does it say "Made in China?" Jamastiene Sep 2013 #15
The pacific garbage patch is bigger than I thought! Kablooie Oct 2013 #17
So Titan is the Tupperware planet? silvershadow Oct 2013 #18
Well, u know that someone VWolf Oct 2013 #22
This guy knows. randome Oct 2013 #26
But are the Titanics clever enough to make ziplock bags? Peace Patriot Oct 2013 #19
Lol, The Titanics. NealK Oct 2013 #20
We make polypropylene from methanol seveneyes Oct 2013 #21
Wow, so our pollution has already got to the edge of solar system? Humans must be destroyed NOW! penultimate Oct 2013 #23
DuPont announces mission to Titan Nt PD Turk Oct 2013 #25
HHmm...isn't donco Oct 2013 #27
Just great. Here we are trying to avoid evil plastic, and it turns out that kestrel91316 Oct 2013 #28
Dead link. NASA.gov is gone now, too. kestrel91316 Oct 2013 #29
Oh, yeah! We'd better get used to this, unfortunately! Here's another article: Judi Lynn Oct 2013 #30
Of course. It's right next to where they make Saturns CreekDog Oct 2013 #31
isn't Titan one of the places where it is thought life could exist JI7 Oct 2013 #32
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