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jmowreader

(50,571 posts)
15. Straight-to-DVD never occurred to them?
Sun Dec 21, 2014, 07:03 PM
Dec 2014

I don't think North Korea is actually behind this attack. Consider that someone in the West made up a rumor about Kim Jong-il feeding his uncle to a pack of hungry dogs and North Korea didn't threaten to launch terrorist attacks all over the West in retaliation.

Also consider Sony just Bained itself. Why anyone hires Bain to restructure its business is a mystery; most people can figure out "fire half your employees and sell off everything outside your core competency even if it's making you money" on their own.

(It seems that the Acme Corporation had a problem: their employees couldn't see down the hall. The management of Acme called in Bain to consult on the problem. Six months later, Bain's team returned with an hour-long PowerPoint presentation.

"We have determined your problem is your headcount is bloated. Immediately terminate fifty percent of your employees. One million dollars, please."

That didn't solve the problem, so they called Bain back in. Six months later, Bain revealed another PowerPoint presentation.

"Acme's principle problem at this juncture is a series of ill-advised forays into businesses outside your core competency. We recommend selling off nine divisions. Two million dollars, please."

That didn't solve the problem either, so Bain came back in, and six months later...

"Acme's most critical issue is that its stock price is undervalued due to lack of respect from Wall Street. We recommend doing a Leveraged Buyout. It will cost you $220 million in up-front fees, plus management fees of 12 percent of your gross revenues for a period of ten years."

That still didn't solve the problem, so Bain came back...

"We recommend doing a Chapter 11 bankruptcy immediately."

Before declaring bankruptcy, Acme called in another consultancy for a second opinion. The consultant was briefed as to the problem, disappeared for ten minutes, and returned.

"The problem is solved. Twenty bucks for gas, coffee and parking, please."

'What the hell did you do?'

"I found the light switch.&quot

Reports indicate the hackers stole 100 terabytes of data. Got news for ya: YOU CAN'T STEAL A HUNDRED TERABYTES OF DATA IN JUST A FEW DAYS! My feeling is, some Sony employees with high-level access to Sony's servers have been stashing "insurance" data over the last few years onto physical media, just in case they got downsized and needed to retaliate against the company.

Sony Pictures CEO said they did contact the White House before... PoliticAverse Dec 2014 #1
Why does the US government headed by Barak Obama think Sony's shitty network security Monk06 Dec 2014 #2
I agree that this is really beneath the office of President. PSPS Dec 2014 #7
I'm glad you LiberalElite Dec 2014 #10
Everything that has leaked... SnakeEyes Dec 2014 #14
You may be right, but I still think pimping movies is beneath the office. PSPS Dec 2014 #16
Sony Pictures is an American subsidiary. SnakeEyes Dec 2014 #13
By definition a wholly owned subsidiary of a foreign company is a foreign entity. Sony Monk06 Dec 2014 #17
"provoking a fight?" snooper2 Dec 2014 #19
Yeah wrote it an meant it. Sony's market cap is 18B USD roughly 2/3 of NKoreas GNP Monk06 Dec 2014 #20
Anyone know if www.theinterview.kp is available? Kennah Dec 2014 #3
It doesn't look funny. Major Hogwash Dec 2014 #4
So let me see if I have this straight...... DeSwiss Dec 2014 #5
So you would rather have a foreign power dictate what movies America makes? NobodyHere Dec 2014 #18
Rectum the GOP Patriots would chip in enough to cover,,,,, Cryptoad Dec 2014 #6
Now that the movie has had reams of free P.R. daleo Dec 2014 #8
On CNN this morning forthemiddle Dec 2014 #9
Nice try Sony, but too late to suck up now Bosonic Dec 2014 #11
Put it on Netflix. nt NorthCarolina Dec 2014 #12
Straight-to-DVD never occurred to them? jmowreader Dec 2014 #15
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