The awful truth

[swag]

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/23/17247932/love-sex-science-marriage-psychology-brain

This is what love does to your brain
“It’s really an addiction.”
By Sean [e-mail]@vox.com Apr 23, 2018, 9:10am EDT

. . .

Sean Illing

So being in love is like being hooked up to a perpetual dopamine drip, and you get a little hit every time you see the person or touch them or think about them?

Helen Fisher

Dopamine drip — I love that phrase! I haven’t heard that before; it’s a great way to put it. But the dopamine hits occur even when you’re not with the person. You can think of love as an intense obsession, but it’s really an addiction. You think about them all the time; you become sexually possessive; you get butterflies in the stomach; you can read their emails and texts over and over again.
But I say it’s an addiction because we found that, in addition to the dopamine system being activated in the brains of people in love, we also found activity in another part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens.

This part of the brain is activated in all forms of behavioral addiction — whether it’s drugs or gambling or food or kleptomania. So this part of the brain fires up in people who have recently fallen in love, and it really does function like an addiction. Which is why romantic love is a far more powerful brain system than the sex drive.

Sean Illing

I’ve heard you say that “casual sex” isn’t as casual as we think. Why not?

Helen Fisher

It’s not casual because when you have sex with somebody, and it’s pleasurable, it drives up the dopamine system in the brain. That can push you over the threshold into falling in love. And when you orgasm, there’s a flood of oxytocin and vasopressin. Those neurochemicals are linked with the attachment system in the brain.

So there are all these potential chemical triggers that can get activated when you have sex with someone, whether it’s “casual” or not. Something like one-third of people who’ve had a “friends with benefits” relationship have fallen madly in love with that person.

So casual sex is not casual: It can trigger these brain systems for romantic love and feelings of attachment.

Sean Illing

In other words, don’t have sex with someone unless you’re prepared to fall in love with them.

Helen Fisher

Exactly. If you’re on vacation and there are natural barriers and you’re unlikely to see them again, then that’s probably safe. But otherwise you’re risking falling in love, and that might complicate your life in ways you’re not prepared for.