Thanksgiving was tougher that I thought it would be

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25. That last sentence really hit home for me, too.

Mental health rather than specific addiction issues, but for many years, the Christmas holidays meant that someone in my family was either in the hospital or jail. (Both was not an impossibility.) One year, I broke out in hives over the stress. I hated the holiday season.

Now, I spend the holidays alone and I'm conflicted. The peace of mind is priceless, but sometimes I wish for a little company in a situation where I don't have to pretend to be anyone other than who I am.

Authenticity has its price; and I've made the decision to pay it.

That line reminded me of a proverb of sorts that I read in a novel. God looks down upon a person longing for something and says,

"You want it? Take it. Take whatever you want. . . And pay for it."

Life is basically about learning what it is that we want and what we're willing to pay-- psychologically, of course-- to get it.

People struggling with addictions either pay the price in ruined lives or they pay for their sobriety in hard work and often-times extreme discomfort. My heart goes out to you, bif, and others working out that daily bargain. Much respect and wishing you all the support that you need.