CSI dialogue you'll never hear

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

"This man was shot at close range by a weapon with a bayonet lug."

"If the firearm that killed this woman hadn't had a folding stock, she'd be alive today."

"Without a flash suppressor the bullet that killed this kid would never have made it through the wall of his living room."

"FBI research shows that shots from pistols weighing under 3 pounds are almost never fatal."

"From the wounds on this man you can clearly see that, it was seventh and eighth 12 gauge rounds that killed him."

"This youth was killed by semi-auto version of TEC-DC9 with a high capacity clip. The gun was dropped across the street and hasn't been fired but the combination of high capacity and its full-auto appearance seems to have scared the victim to death."