Religion

marylandblue

(12,344 posts)

7. These questions are not hard to answer

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 05:41 PM

Mar 2018

Last edited Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:24 PM - Edit history (1)

Dogs go to heaven. In fact, if your dog doesn't sponsor you, you don't get in, so load up on your treats. Cat lovers, sorry, cats don't go to your heaven, but the good news is they each go to their own cat heavens where they are worshipped by billions of tasty mice who are in mouse hell.

Wild animals, including extinct animals. Herbivores go to heaven. Carnivores go to hell, where they eternally eat the souls of sinners. Omnivores go to purgatory.

Hominids. Those covered 50% or more in hair are treated as animals, less than 50% as humans. Very hairy homo sapiens are advised to shave before dying.

Which version of you goes to heaven? The one that looks like Brad Pitt of course. In hell, everyone looks like Donald Trump.

Any more questions?

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14 replies

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Highlight:

Who goes to heaven? [View all] trotsky Mar 2018 OP

Are you going to be happy in Heaven TlalocW Mar 2018 #1

Where exactly IS heaven? vlyons Mar 2018 #2

West of Eden zipplewrath Mar 2018 #3

How far West? vlyons Mar 2018 #5

Don't forget that Heaven sucks super hard there is no fight, no progress. Just everlasting boredom Corvo Bianco Mar 2018 #4

Who decides which loved ones I see again in heaven? Croney Mar 2018 #6

These questions are not hard to answer marylandblue Mar 2018 #7

Should I shave my balls? Major Nikon Mar 2018 #8

Atheists always go to heaven. Binkie The Clown Mar 2018 #9

Pathetic. guillaumeb Mar 2018 #10

Well, do dogs go to heaven? trotsky Mar 2018 #11

That's the only response you have? MineralMan Mar 2018 #12

The only response that was needed. guillaumeb Mar 2018 #14

No one does (nt) NeoGreen Mar 2018 #13