I have to admit I always kind of brushed off the whole idea

[BlueKota]

of Armageddon, and the end of days, but now I am genuinely frightened that this is what is happening. Trump and the way his followers are putting him above the words of Christ, his followers taking control of the House, the situation in the middle east, climate change, Russia and China cooperating with each other.

I am praying trying to calm myself and I even had a near death experience years ago where I had the strongest sense of being enveloped in peace, and love, with the words I'm going home, echoing in my brain. But then I heard my Mom begging me not to leave her, and I was revived seconds later. She died the following year. Part of me is saying I shouldn't be scared and I should trust, but I am afraid.

Afraid that what if I did something in these intervening years that changed God's mind about me. I mean I hate Trump and his buddies with a passion and keep wishing bad things will happen to them, and I know as a Christian I am not supposed to think like that, but I just get so angry at how awful they are. Or what if my unconscious mind was just dreaming. I don't want everything to just end.

I don't know why I am sharing this. It's just I really don't have that many outlets to talk about it. I have heard other people say they think the end is coming and just enjoy what life is left, but the fear gets in the way. Then there are others who say, I am letting my anxiety make mountains out of molehills, and maybe I am.

I just wonder if anyone else has been struggling, and if so how you combat it? I was in therapy, but the place where I was going said I didn't need it, any more, and right now I am trying to find a new therapist because I disagree, but not many are taking new clients.

Oh by the way I am a lapsed Catholic. I still believe I'm God, Jesus, and the Saints, I just don't believe in the Church anymore.