we were taught not to pay much attention to the book of Revelation because the images in it are coded for people of the time when it was written. People today would not understand it without studying the political and social atmosphere and writing techniques of that historical period. Modern day attempts to find "end times" significance in Revelation are therefore considered invalid and pointless among Lutherans. Martin Luther considered leaving it out of his translation of the Bible into German, but reluctantly left it in because it was part of the accepted canon of Biblical books. A few other Protestant denominations agree with Luther's view of Revelation.
Lutherans are also big on God's love and forgiveness of human imperfections. No one can lead a perfect life. But even people who screw up big time can be forgiven. If you are interested in being part of a church or finding different perspectives on religion than you grew up with, you might consider a Lutheran, Episcopal, or liberal branch of Presbyterians, known as the PCUSA (Presbyterian Church in the USA).
There are many things in religion that I do not take literally. I do believe that there is an afterlife of some kind, but not having been there myself, I can't really say what it is like. Considering the number of people who make mistakes, or even do wrong intentionally, it would be a pretty mean-spirited god who would devise eternal punishment for all of them. Your own Catholic church teaches that there is still hope of reform and spiritual growth after this life. A few other churches teach that, too.
Regarding hate and wishing ill on some terrible people in life, you're right that it is against Christian teachings. Perfectly understandable feelings, but not in line with Christian faith. It is something that I have trouble with, too. So I find that it helps to redirect those feelings into praying that people like Trump and those devoted to his way of doing things get stopped in their tracks somehow and are prevented from continuing what they do. In other words, that they meet their match and lose their ability to do more harm.
Whether or not that actually works to stop them, it does work for me psychologically to keep a perspective and not give in to hate. It also motivates me to do anything positive in real life that I can to counteract the harm that people like Trump do. That means getting people to vote against him and against politicians like him. It also means supporting groups that protect the people that Trump targets with his own hate, such as donating time or money to good political candidates, or to organizations that protect civil rights, or to charities that help people in need. That way, I can avoid wasting time, energy, and mental health on hating people and do something positive and constructive instead.
I am not saying that I am especially good, because I can get as angry and hate filled as anyone. I'm just saying how I try to cope with it and avoid getting filled with anger and hate, which do no one any good.
Good luck and hang in there. If you still want a counselor, I hope you find one that is helpful and compatible with what you feel that you need.
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