Bereavement
In reply to the discussion: Sudden death of my brother, 2 months after my father died of pancreatic cancer [View all]Dark n Stormy Knight
(9,767 posts)I, too, think it was a wrong decision for her to make. For one thing, I know it upset my mother. However, I did suspect she might do this. I said to my one sister and to my husband, even before the text excluding us from my brother's funeral came in, that if she banned me from attending, I would honor that. I expected she would, naturally be angry over this tragic event and I seemed like an easy target for her anger.
On one level, I don't blame her. If this had happened to my husband, I would be so angry my head would probably explode and I fear what I might do.
Still, I did send her an email in response to her text, first and last expressing my profound grief and assuring her that she didn't have to worry that we would show up where we were not welcome. But I also told her that she had misquoted and misinterpreted me and a few other things I'm not sure I should have said, but needed to, and on balance I think were acceptable. She didn't reply and I didn't expect her to.
As for my sisters, that's just how I feel. For my mother's sake, I will try to put aside my anger and hurt about their behavior toward me and be at least able to coexist when visiting my mom. But I don't think I can ever be close to them again. They betrayed me and I don't easily get over that, especially when those who've betrayed me do not accept that they did and apologize.