Sudden death of my brother, 2 months after my father died of pancreatic cancer

[SheltieLover]

53. This sounds exceptionally toxic!

I went back & re-read your post two more times.

I'm seeing / hearing boundary issues, enmeshment, alcoholism, etc.

If I were in your situation, I would completely extricate myself from this situation & I have literally done so in my own life. But I have a somewhat unique take on life. I never enable pathology, refuse to accept pathological projections, & I make a really problematic "victim."

Those folks are "crazy makers." Toss in the crazy religious stuff, the stress of having recently lost your dad, the alcoholism, and now this crisis, and it is a recipe for disaster.

One thing that is certain: holidays & crisis situations constellate all the complexes, so being around those folks at this time would be a nightmare.

Also, alcoholics do not need to be drinking to displpay crappy, drunk-like behavior. There is such a thing as a "dry drunk." And alcoholism.is a progressive disease, so a person who has not been drunk in 20 years, for instance, will be as verbose, abusive, &/or violent as if they had been drinking all those years, should they opt to drink

Additionally, trauma situations are the #1 cause of relapse in addictions.

The religious comment is beyond rational thought. Yuk.

I'd considerate it a gift to be disinvited because you are not obligated to experience the high degree of dysfunction that is quite likely to occur.

So sorry you are experiencing this.

Yale is offering their Science of Well Being free:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_campaign=09-ScienceofWellBeing-US&utm_content=09-ScienceofWellBeing-US&campaignid=9728548210&adgroupid=99699672436&device=m&keyword=science%20of%20well%20being%20yale&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=428916120688&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=Cj0KCQiA0MD_BRCTARIsADXoopbzAqIW9wldh_XpW8cocWKbqxfvVBzkLSqx9CtLgrCQ4NNQ6BAbTZsaAmeFEALw_wcB

Why not give yourself a break & learn some new healthy skills which will give you an objective distance from daily concerns?

The 1st videos are available immediately after a very brief registration.

Please consider self-compassion: what would you say to a dear friend in your circumstance?

I hope this is helpful to you!