Bereavement

MLAA

(19,735 posts)

53. Dear Ziggysmom, here is what helped me when my beloved died in October.

Thu Mar 19, 2026, 07:29 PM

Yesterday

I found quiet time, closed my eyes and cleared my thoughts. Then I spoke to my husband and walked him through what I felt guilty about (he suffered from hospital dementia and wanted to get out of the bed at the hospital. It was not safe and I tried to prevent him.). I also was questioning myself about what more I could have done (according to multiple Drs there wasn’t more, but that didn’t assuage my guilt.) After speaking to him aloud and calmly walking him through what occurred during his last 48 hours, still with my eyes closed, I felt all the guilt lift and felt his presence and his love. I continue to talk aloud to him and find it extremely comforting.

Sending you kind thoughts and comfort. DM me if you ever want to.

M

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I thought it would get better by now. Husband died 2-6 and I still can't sleep and must force [View all] Ziggysmom Yesterday OP

(((((Hugs)))) applegrove Yesterday #1

Hugs back at you! Ziggysmom Yesterday #22

Wishing you peace for your broken heart 💔 Chat wit us..you may be by yourself but you're not alone 🌺 Deuxcents Yesterday #2

Thank you, wishing for peace for the world. Ziggysmom Yesterday #24

I hope it gets easier for you soon. There is no time frame for grief. LoisB Yesterday #3

I am learning a lot from this forum. Was feeling really low today, but now I Ziggysmom Yesterday #25

I am sorry. I am most certainly no expert and my professional training is not in that area but hlthe2b Yesterday #4

This sounds like it would be very helpful. Joinfortmill Yesterday #9

Thank you for sharing. I'm in Wisconsin waiting for the weather to cooperate so I can get out more. Ziggysmom Yesterday #30

If you are physically up to it, cross country skiing on public golf courses in winter is another hlthe2b Yesterday #32

Sunlight on the eyes IbogaProject 13 hrs ago #74

When my partner died back in 2011... pat_k 10 hrs ago #82

I remember Senator... I somehow missed his inclusion in the "Memoriam" page for 2011 so hlthe2b 10 hrs ago #84

Understandable blm Yesterday #5

Contact your local hospice for bereavement counseling SheltieLover Yesterday #6

I joined a hospice group when my dad died Tree Lady Yesterday #28

Yes, groups are incredibly powerful! SheltieLover Yesterday #39

It's still very, very early. And grief is very different than depression. I know it's really Scrivener7 Yesterday #7

Prayed for you. Grief is painful. Joinfortmill Yesterday #8

Buy a marble cover composition book and journal it out bucolic_frolic Yesterday #10

Thank you. My daughter has polycystic kidney disease and Dr. Bergs keto diet really helps Ziggysmom Yesterday #36

I lost my son a little over 4 years ago crimycarny Yesterday #11

Those two words said it all. GRIEF ILLITERATE. We get three whole days of bereavement leave Ziggysmom Yesterday #41

I swear if I heard "you're so strong" one more time crimycarny Yesterday #59

One of my friends lost a child to suicide Marthe48 14 hrs ago #71

Second the motion EuterpeThelo 14 hrs ago #69

Be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack. Grief never just goes away, it just Marie Marie Yesterday #12

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. Diamond_Dog Yesterday #13

It's too soon Lulu KC Yesterday #14

Ziggysmom... dlilafae Yesterday #15

When my fiance died suddenly in his early 30s, I walked the same trail every day for a year. femmedem Yesterday #16

Grieve is a journey. traveler50 Yesterday #17

It is difficult to move on. A lttle over a month is pretty fast. Fla Dem Yesterday #18

I am so terribly sorry. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #19

DU Hug!!! Ponietz Yesterday #20

I can't even imagine how it feels Tesha Yesterday #21

I almost completely stopped eating for 3 years cpamomfromtexas Yesterday #23

Grief is a very personal process BigmanPigman Yesterday #26

Good thoughts and advice. yellow dahlia Yesterday #37

❤️ underpants Yesterday #27

Its only been about 6 weeks BonnieJW Yesterday #29

Sending a virtual hug Tree Lady Yesterday #31

(((gentle hug))) 🫂 mwmisses4289 Yesterday #33

Everything's harder in this environment. yellow dahlia Yesterday #34

Hey Ziggysmom! Once again I realize just how VALUABLE this place is. calimary Yesterday #35

I'd so sorry for your loss kimbutgar Yesterday #38

"" AllaN01Bear Yesterday #40

THANK YOU EVERYONE! Everyone will experience grief in their lifetime. It should not be Ziggysmom Yesterday #42

hitthe2b is right, go outside Figarosmom Yesterday #43

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. HeartsCanHope Yesterday #44

Huggggggs, my friend and please be kind and gentle and loving niyad Yesterday #45

Oh my dear Ziggysmom, My heart hurts for you as you are inching your way through this journey that was suddenly thrust KitFox Yesterday #46

My deepest condolences to you. I share Hassler Yesterday #47

I lost my wife of 40 years three years ago. kairos12 Yesterday #48

I'm sorry you are going through this Danmel Yesterday #49

I am sorry for what you are gooing through and hope that you find some solace with it all soon. marked50 Yesterday #50

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom... Bayard Yesterday #51

It took me 7 years to feel better synni Yesterday #52

Dear Ziggysmom, here is what helped me when my beloved died in October. MLAA Yesterday #53

.... chowder66 Yesterday #54

you're being too hard on yourself Skittles Yesterday #55

I am so sorry. BlueKota Yesterday #56

Two of the very best ways to deal with grief for me, JMCKUSICK Yesterday #57

This community is here for you. Moostache Yesterday #58

{{ Hugs }} EKR's books helped me understand the physical component of grief GreatGazoo Yesterday #60

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. highplainsdem Yesterday #61

That's not that long malaise Yesterday #62

Hugs my friend. Dunc 21 hrs ago #63

lost my hubby almost two years ago. SleeplessinSoCal 18 hrs ago #64

it is only a month. give it time. rampartd 16 hrs ago #65

Last night I was watching a documentary about Jane Austen mnhtnbb 15 hrs ago #66

I hope you find some peace and comfort JoseBalow 15 hrs ago #67

Oh, Ziggysmom EuterpeThelo 14 hrs ago #68

Sending you love gademocrat7 14 hrs ago #70

My husband died in 2017 Marthe48 14 hrs ago #72

My wife died 9/17/25 TexLaProgressive 13 hrs ago #73

I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you love in a difficult time. 58Sunliner 13 hrs ago #75

It will get better spinbaby 13 hrs ago #76

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and I am concerned over your struggle dealing with that loss. ... marble falls 13 hrs ago #77

One foot in front of the other foot. The pain is real no doubt but just "doing things" Will help. Botany 12 hrs ago #78

I am so sorry for your loss. It took me over 4 years to feel "normal" again after my husbands death. maptap22 12 hrs ago #79

There is no timeline for grief dlk 11 hrs ago #80

It will be nine years next month, and I still get tears in my eyes when a certain song comes on tavernier 11 hrs ago #81

Been there, done that and a word of caution. Momma 10 hrs ago #83

Sending a big hug Wild blueberry 9 hrs ago #85