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mnhtnbb

(33,326 posts)
66. Last night I was watching a documentary about Jane Austen
Fri Mar 20, 2026, 07:53 AM
13 hrs ago

On BritBox. I was reminded that women of immediate family members who died would observe a year of official mourning, wearing black, to observe and by their dress, let others know of their loss.

Whatever we may think about customs and treatment of women in the 19th Century, there is something to be said for the recognition of the process of grief. Granted there were those who moved past their grief very quickly and were constrained by the societal expectation, but I think it's worth noting that Society offered the norm of a year to grieve openly.

Give yourself some time. There are lots of excellent suggestions in this thread about being gentle with yourself and taking time to adjust to life as it is now without your husband.

Hugs, my friend.

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(((((Hugs)))) applegrove Yesterday #1
Hugs back at you! Ziggysmom Yesterday #22
Wishing you peace for your broken heart 💔 Chat wit us..you may be by yourself but you're not alone 🌺 Deuxcents Yesterday #2
Thank you, wishing for peace for the world. Ziggysmom Yesterday #24
I hope it gets easier for you soon. There is no time frame for grief. LoisB Yesterday #3
I am learning a lot from this forum. Was feeling really low today, but now I Ziggysmom Yesterday #25
I am sorry. I am most certainly no expert and my professional training is not in that area but hlthe2b Yesterday #4
This sounds like it would be very helpful. Joinfortmill Yesterday #9
Thank you for sharing. I'm in Wisconsin waiting for the weather to cooperate so I can get out more. Ziggysmom Yesterday #30
If you are physically up to it, cross country skiing on public golf courses in winter is another hlthe2b Yesterday #32
Sunlight on the eyes IbogaProject 10 hrs ago #74
When my partner died back in 2011... pat_k 8 hrs ago #82
I remember Senator... I somehow missed his inclusion in the "Memoriam" page for 2011 so hlthe2b 7 hrs ago #84
Understandable blm Yesterday #5
Contact your local hospice for bereavement counseling SheltieLover Yesterday #6
I joined a hospice group when my dad died Tree Lady Yesterday #28
Yes, groups are incredibly powerful! SheltieLover Yesterday #39
It's still very, very early. And grief is very different than depression. I know it's really Scrivener7 Yesterday #7
Prayed for you. Grief is painful. Joinfortmill Yesterday #8
Buy a marble cover composition book and journal it out bucolic_frolic Yesterday #10
Thank you. My daughter has polycystic kidney disease and Dr. Bergs keto diet really helps Ziggysmom Yesterday #36
I lost my son a little over 4 years ago crimycarny Yesterday #11
Those two words said it all. GRIEF ILLITERATE. We get three whole days of bereavement leave Ziggysmom Yesterday #41
I swear if I heard "you're so strong" one more time crimycarny Yesterday #59
One of my friends lost a child to suicide Marthe48 12 hrs ago #71
Second the motion EuterpeThelo 12 hrs ago #69
Be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack. Grief never just goes away, it just Marie Marie Yesterday #12
I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. Diamond_Dog Yesterday #13
It's too soon Lulu KC Yesterday #14
Ziggysmom... dlilafae Yesterday #15
When my fiance died suddenly in his early 30s, I walked the same trail every day for a year. femmedem Yesterday #16
Grieve is a journey. traveler50 Yesterday #17
It is difficult to move on. A lttle over a month is pretty fast. Fla Dem Yesterday #18
I am so terribly sorry. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #19
DU Hug!!! Ponietz Yesterday #20
I can't even imagine how it feels Tesha Yesterday #21
I almost completely stopped eating for 3 years cpamomfromtexas Yesterday #23
Grief is a very personal process BigmanPigman Yesterday #26
Good thoughts and advice. yellow dahlia Yesterday #37
❤️ underpants Yesterday #27
Its only been about 6 weeks BonnieJW Yesterday #29
Sending a virtual hug Tree Lady Yesterday #31
(((gentle hug))) 🫂 mwmisses4289 Yesterday #33
Everything's harder in this environment. yellow dahlia Yesterday #34
Hey Ziggysmom! Once again I realize just how VALUABLE this place is. calimary Yesterday #35
I'd so sorry for your loss kimbutgar Yesterday #38
"" AllaN01Bear Yesterday #40
THANK YOU EVERYONE! Everyone will experience grief in their lifetime. It should not be Ziggysmom Yesterday #42
hitthe2b is right, go outside Figarosmom Yesterday #43
I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. HeartsCanHope Yesterday #44
Huggggggs, my friend and please be kind and gentle and loving niyad Yesterday #45
Oh my dear Ziggysmom, My heart hurts for you as you are inching your way through this journey that was suddenly thrust KitFox Yesterday #46
My deepest condolences to you. I share Hassler Yesterday #47
I lost my wife of 40 years three years ago. kairos12 Yesterday #48
I'm sorry you are going through this Danmel Yesterday #49
I am sorry for what you are gooing through and hope that you find some solace with it all soon. marked50 Yesterday #50
I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom... Bayard Yesterday #51
It took me 7 years to feel better synni Yesterday #52
Dear Ziggysmom, here is what helped me when my beloved died in October. MLAA Yesterday #53
.... chowder66 Yesterday #54
you're being too hard on yourself Skittles Yesterday #55
I am so sorry. BlueKota Yesterday #56
Two of the very best ways to deal with grief for me, JMCKUSICK Yesterday #57
This community is here for you. Moostache Yesterday #58
{{ Hugs }} EKR's books helped me understand the physical component of grief GreatGazoo Yesterday #60
I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. highplainsdem Yesterday #61
That's not that long malaise 23 hrs ago #62
Hugs my friend. Dunc 18 hrs ago #63
lost my hubby almost two years ago. SleeplessinSoCal 15 hrs ago #64
it is only a month. give it time. rampartd 13 hrs ago #65
Last night I was watching a documentary about Jane Austen mnhtnbb 13 hrs ago #66
I hope you find some peace and comfort JoseBalow 13 hrs ago #67
Oh, Ziggysmom EuterpeThelo 12 hrs ago #68
Sending you love gademocrat7 12 hrs ago #70
My husband died in 2017 Marthe48 11 hrs ago #72
My wife died 9/17/25 TexLaProgressive 11 hrs ago #73
I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you love in a difficult time. 58Sunliner 10 hrs ago #75
It will get better spinbaby 10 hrs ago #76
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and I am concerned over your struggle dealing with that loss. ... marble falls 10 hrs ago #77
One foot in front of the other foot. The pain is real no doubt but just "doing things" Will help. Botany 10 hrs ago #78
I am so sorry for your loss. It took me over 4 years to feel "normal" again after my husbands death. maptap22 9 hrs ago #79
There is no timeline for grief dlk 9 hrs ago #80
It will be nine years next month, and I still get tears in my eyes when a certain song comes on tavernier 8 hrs ago #81
Been there, done that and a word of caution. Momma 7 hrs ago #83
Sending a big hug Wild blueberry 6 hrs ago #85
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