Reply #48: You're on the planet where Katie Couric says that "Navy SEALs Rock!" [View All]

[hatrack]

You're on the planet where morning network news shows lead off with about ten minutes dedicated to covering the entire planet, followed by an inevitable softening. Maybe a politician might be featured in the second quarter of the hour, but only occasionally. Usually by the time you get to 7:20 or so, it's all about the latest diet, the newest movie, the trendiest drug or the old standby, which celebrity is divorcing/anorexic/alcoholic/addicted/seeking his or her inner child - accompanied, of course, by an in-depth interview of the celebrity in question. After that, it's time for a cooking demonstration, followed by cutting-edge reminders to not leave pets in closed cars in summer (when it's hot) and to bring pets indoors during winter (when it's cold).

You're on the planet where weekend movie grosses are reported on the "news" as items of import and importance. This is the same planet where three, four or five minutes of half-hour broadcasts are dedicated to thinly disguised commercials for the same movies whose box-office totas are breathlessly reported upon release.

You're on the planet where endless hours of Laci Peterson, Kobe Bryant and Michael Jackson clot the broadcast spectrum - and even then it's not even news. Instead, it's an endless series of talking heads speculating - speculating, not reporting - about what this or that juridical twist or turn in the legal events mentioned above might mean.

You're on the planet where big fat chunks of broadcast time are devoted to every little conniption of every little cold front, heat wave, storm cloud, waterspout or hailstorm. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Weather Channel as much as the next geek, but do we really need endless, breathless and pointless expositions of just exactly what is happening in every corner of the atmosphere?

You're on the planet where local news coverage leads with ten or fifteen minutes of yellow tape news as bodies pile up in abandoned houses, empty lots, downtown streets and on the local interstates. Then comes the parade of suspects, preferably with mug shots and convenience store video footage, then two minutes of regional/state/national news, followed by five minutes of weather and ten minutes of sports. In fact, one local station in the fall where I live devotes a full ten minutes every Friday night to what local high school football teams are doing. This is the same station "Where The News Comes First" according to their slogan, but which airs Nightline at 12:30 AM - after reruns of The Golden Girls, Home Improvement and MASH.

I can't think of a better or more appropriate comment on the current state of broadcast journalism than this.