Reply #53: My stress level, worries for the future of my children [View All]

[whatever4]

It's affected me profoundly.

I think, had I not had children, it would not bother me as much. I would ride the tide, do what had to be done to survive, and in the end, make do. It's what we do, and some of us, those who never had much in the first place, well heck, never really expected much in the first place. Fame, fortune...I'll be happy if I see my kids all through college, and that is the only life goal I really have.

This president. He has colored my ENTIRE feeling about my nation, about my neighbors, about Christians, and even about men. In general. I see guys playing the fun video war games, the fun cop tv shows, war shows, war on the news, commercials to get more warriors. I think...what the hell is wrong with all you, our nation is going to hell in a hand basket, and not only are you sitting around playing, but you (please pardon me) you're playing THEIR fucking games!!

Oh, it's done more than made me more radical. Heck, I even hate what he's done to Alaska. I was there for a while, and this monster wants to mess up that TOO!! INsane. TOO insane.

It seems to be turning other people insane. I used to talk to a lot of folks regularly, from my little pc, it was my window out into the world. But after 911, the talk and the relationships changed. People got more ugly, just over suspicions of problems with our government. Forget any actual accusations; they became upset by the very questions.

So now I know. THEY are only going to learn the hard way. And it upsets me. I know myself, my limitations, my outlook is not so worldly, not so educated, not a brain surgeon, no rocket scientists here. In knowing this, I know there is NO EXCUSE for the ignorance. They are refusing to see, all those many people, and so many talking heads on tv. They are letting themselves believe a lie.

I can't figure out why. That is the part that kills me. And it feels like it literally kills me. The stress. The sadness. Sometimes I can't even talk or look at the fools, when I hear the crap coming out of their so-selfish-kill-THEM mouths. I just can't believe.

Honestly? Quite honestly? This man has crippled me. Even if things turn around TODAY, I will never be the same. What our soldiers have done. What has been done to our children, in so many ways, by these greedy monsters, never ending. Just knowing what all has ALREADY happened, so much permanent damage, so many that will never recover. I'll never be the same. Just knowing we did this. Even if we stop. Even if we stop today. I'll never trust the conservatives that supported this president, not even the best sounding of them.

Seeing what these people...my people...were capable of, seeing it firsthand...I'll never be the same. Bush, I'd say, took a lot of us away from the rest of you, because I'll never be the same sweet woman that loved America, I can hardly step out my front door, and I can't possibly be the only one. I'm too terribly average. I look at my world and my fellow Americans with new distrust, new fear, and new confusion over what they seem capable of.

NEVER be the same. Not in this lifetime, and in many ways, I sure as heck wish it wasn't my lifetime. This is horrible. WORSE than prewar Germany; they did not use depleted uranium, and they never PRETENDED to be a bastion of freedom. THEY never EVEN PRETENDED to stand for liberty and religious freedoms, like WE did. We DID. WE were already a superpower. Hitler WANTED to be one. WE already were.

They flat out said they were elitist, those nazis. But our people don't even realize they are, much less say they are. They don't seem to realize a damn thing. In the midst of madmen am I.

Never be the same. That's all I know. Crushed my hope? Yes. My family tells me to stop worrying about it, stop with the news and the stories and feeling too wrapped up with it. And I think...I need to stop thinking then. And feeling. If I could, I would. Perhaps THAT is what so many others are doing.

Here's how I feel. Good song, rocks
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/moderndayzero/sickinside.html "Sick Inside"

So low
Someone show me
What I need to do
To feel like you

Says it all