Reply #103: If this is the only thing we can find to blast him on [View All]

[CornField]

If we, as a community, can only find something extremely personal from his life to use as a tool against him, then we are the sad lot. I hope everyone on this thread who has taken advantage of a family during one of the most vulnerable times is pleased and proud.

And, no, I don't care if Santorum and his family did what they did as political grandstanding or out of overwhelming grief. It is none of our business how a parent chooses to mourn a child (20 weeks along or 20 years along). What has been done in this thread and another flies directly in the face of everything the pro-choice community has strived to achieve.

Let me spell it out for you:

1) Women can get pregnant for a variety of reasons and then *choose* to have an abortion. We should support those women with their choice.

2) Women can get pregnant for a variety of reasons and then *choose* to attempt to carry to term. We should support those women with their choice.

For women (and indeed families) who *choose* number two, the medically-termed fetus immediately becomes a child in their mind's eye. They begin to dream about that child. What color hair will he/she have? What color eyes? Will he/she be tall? Long before birth, the fetus/child becomes a part of the family. Purchases are made on the fetus/child's behalf. Changes are made in the family structure. That "fetus" has already become an integral part of the family.

When loss comes, it is life-shattering and life-altering. Often the family goes through days or weeks of feeling out of sync with the rest of society. Funerals are often held... younger siblings are given an opportunity to say goodbye... grandparents are also called to help out and say their own goodbyes.

Now I have tried, in good faith, to both hold my tongue and explain how horrifying the death of a fetus/child can be. Some of you will get it, others will laugh. I'd like to end this brief speech with a thought: As a liberal democrat (most would say radically liberal), DU is the place I should feel most welcome. Most of the time, I do find like voices and caring here. There are times, however, like this one, when I want to shut the browser window and not return. I have watched DUers praise pet owners while belittling parents. I have - more than once - bore the brunt of an assault against women who choose to start a family and then undergo a loss. If these people at DU are the heart of the democratic party, there is little wonder why so many have turned their backs. This type of thread is not only callous and uncaring to Santorum, but to *every* parent who has had a stillborn son or daughter -- many of them your fellow democrats right here on DU.