Reply #19: I do think that things get "serious" too quickly [View All]

[Nikia]

I know that my other posts in this threads have endorsed monagamy and fidelity, but I think that things in American dating do get too serious too quickly. By that I mean, it is assumed that you will only date one person if you agree to go out with them on the next date. Maybe, you can date a couple people for the first few dates at most. After that, you are suppose to be "with" them. I think that often it is a little bit too much to be expected to make a temporary committment to someone after knowing them for only a few weeks or even months. I think that by endorsing this model of dating, we are setting people up to be emotionally devestated. I don't know what a good alternative would be. It seems like the choices are either promiscuity if you have sex with all your dates immediately or after a short time or not having sex until you are engaged. I am not sure which would be better considering the diseases out there, but also considering that most people get engaged and married long after they become sexually mature as opposed to 200 years ago. I am just saying that I think that such temporary committments cause a lot of unecessary hurt.
I think that many couples do verbally agree to be faithful to one another or talk at least about it. My husband and I agreed to be monagamous shortly after "going together". My friend told me of an incident involving his wife making out with another guy a couple weeks into their relationship after which they agreed that they were "togther" and another such incident would result in them not being "together". I think that every couple should talk about these things, preferably even before having sex.