So I'm turning 18 tomorrow (4/26)... [View All]

[TomorrowNeverKnows]

And I seriously never thought it would seem like such a short wait; I remember when I was little, this seemed like a looooong way off, like I could never imagine myself as an adult, and now it's just less than a day away. Where did all that time go? Why was it so short?

My mom is teasing me because I'm one of the few people she knows who DOESN'T want to be 18, as must others can't wait.

Although really, for the past almost 2 years, I've gone between dread/despair and total excitement far more times than I can count; the former because of the faster and faster passing time, and a feeling of loss, like a total death of any remaining childhood, having more and more aspects of my life being flipped on their head, uprooted, and changed faster than I can adjust, and that there was a lot of things I still haven't done that I wanted to do before reaching this milestone, such that I feel much older than I actually am. And the latter because this means there's more things I can do my myself and without consent, like voting, (I was pretty mad that I didn't get to vote in the last election) and not needing nearly as much permission for everything.

There were even a few people I sit with at lunch, and one of them keeps pestering me, and I still don't know if jokingly or not, to buy cigarettes for her; even though I vehemently detest and loathe smoking with all my being.

So...at this point I'm really not sure what to feel; excitement or dread, there's reasons to feel either. I've never been a legal adult before, so I guess I'm not sure what to expect. Everybody's saying congrats, but I'm not sure.