Reply #40: so it sounds like the subject is already on the table [View All]

[quakerboy]

So the "say nothing, ignore it, accept it" stuff above probably isn't super relevant at this stage.

Theres still a lot left unsaid, and you are a different person than me, but given what conditions you have presented, I would probably approach it from a "yall mentioned this problem. is there anything I can do to help. If not now, know that I am here for you if you need me in the future." And perhaps, if you have not already, explain that you had this mother in law experience, and you do not want to be that person, so if they ever feel you are sticking the nose in too much, just to tell you.

But your mileage may vary. I am all about the straightforward approach, with all relevant cards on the table whenever possible.