Reply #45: Here is a crack at that question. [View All]

[Behind the Aegis]

Why is it difficult to love ourselves?

Simple answer: We are taught, early on, that it is wrong to be selfish without a real definition of what selfish is.

Complex answer: Since we are taught being selfish is akin to pride and the like, there is guilt associated with self-love or praise. If I do a good job and others praise me, why cannot I praise myself? It doesn't have to be arrogant or grandiose, but a simple, sane acknowledgment of a true accomplishment. It really comes down to moderation. We see extremes; overly vain people and such, and we know we don't want to be like that, so be take modesty to the level of denial.

It is difficult to see our good points because we are so aware of our own bad points. Loving oneself can be very hard, especially for people who are accustomed to having to care for others. We see loving ourselves as a betrayal of what we should be doing, loving others.

I have a difficult time with it too. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of the good I have done. It is why I save old notes/e-mails and the like. It reminds me that others see good in me, so why should I not see what they see? Are they really my friends and loved ones? If so, then their opinion is important to me. If, in their opinion, I am worth loving, should I not believe them?

Love is a very special gift we give to others, so we should give that gift to ourselves, as well. Knowing this and doing this are two separate things. It is not an easy thing, but it can be done.

So, DemExPat, your kids and pets love you, so acknowledge their gift by showing them you love yourself too! :)

:hug: