A heathen is someone who denies God. You don't even know who or what God is... you don't believe that you can even hear his voice... so how on Earth can you deny him? Sure, you deny his name and you deny the hypocritical shit done in his name but God is far more than a name. You deny a Religion... a club... a set of beliefs that seem to lead nowhere and drive Man to madness. You deny the illusion and you deny the manipulation of people's minds with that illusion by the unscrupulous Man for his own vain ends. To you, there is no God because you don't see him or hear him and you can't envision some white haired and bearded grandfather floating around on a cloud sitting in eternal judgment of mankind. The descriptions of God by Man and the things done in his name by all religions both great and small seem so ridiculous and unnatural that to accept that "faith" amounts to a form of mental slavery.
I don't know if this is how you feel exactly but this is how I used to believe. I used to think God was just a tool to manipulate the sheep and siphon away their money and use their faith to increase a person's power. I too "denied" God until I found out... That's not God. God is so much more than what Man can envision and is very difficult to explain... just as you are so much more than even those closest to you can envision and explain. It takes a very special person to be able to show people the face of God... to reveal to them how to see him... to hear him and do his will. However, every person sees him and hears him and every person can do his will or deny him... they just don't know that it's God they see and hear.
When someone tells you that you just have to "believe", they are telling you that you have to believe what they say God is and what they say God wants. They are trying to get you to accept their beliefs not necessarily God's beliefs. To me, as long as you follow your conscience... as long as you seek to do what is right and good... as long as you cry for injustice and rejoice over what is glorious, you "know" God and you aren't in any way "denying" him. You can deny the Bible or deny the Koran or deny the Gita's and still not deny God. These books are merely stereograms that, if you are wise enough to know how to look, they can reveal the face of God. {
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I don't worry about the soul of an atheist unless that atheist uses their "non-belief" to do wicked things and ruin the souls of Man. An atheist who does evil is no better than a Christian or Muslim or Hindu or any other person who does the work of Satan. Inversely, an atheist who does the work of God is a blessing to all mankind and will receive the promised reward. These books are just books unless you know how to use them to see God. It's sometimes easier to see God if you have the right instructions but even without faith in Man, God can and does reveal himself. But seeing God and accepting God and saying "Lord, Lord" is hardly a requisite for being Godly and I would never judge an atheist as wicked unless they had a wicked heart. Yes, the "Christians" will judge you deficient but I have a feeling God won't... as long as you do his will. To me, God is Love and you seem to believe in Love so you believe in my God. That's good enough for me.
May God's blessing be upon you and your family.
Mike