Reply #277: sfexpat2000, for what it's worth, my sister is considering divorce after 41 years of marriage. [View All]

[KansDem]

Her husband is suffering from alcoholism. He has tried support groups such as AA and Al-Anon. He has tried treatment, including a 30-day stay at a treatment center. He has taken medications for his mood swings...and violence. Right now he's in jail for the second time due to assault (on my sister). Now, before we judge consider this: He and my sister lost their 28-year-old daughter seven years ago. Her death was alcohol-related. He started his plunge into hell shortly after that. First his drinking increased, then he lost his business. Then his violent behavior emerged.

My sister has had it. The first incident last year put her in the hospital. She's not taking any chances with the recent assault this year and had him arrested. This time he'll be in jail for a few months.

It's all very strange to me. He's 63 years old; she's 60. They started life together full of promise and hope. They married, bought a house, and had two children. He had a good job and they were even able to purchase a cabin at a nearby lake community for weekend retreats. It seemed like they were living the American Dream. But now, with only a decade or so left of life, they are at their lowest point emotionally and financially. I used to think life got better as we grew older--I don't think that anymore, and I suspect she doesn't either. Our mother died at 73: comparing her age to the age our mother died, my sister has mentioned many times in recent months "I've only got 13 years left."

I think she has given up...it just isn't worth it to her anymore.

I'll keep both of you in my thoughts.