Reply #295: You're so right!!! [View All]

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My husband is narcissistic and borderline. Meds have a very dramatic impact on his behavior and we're still trying to work through all of the issues after 13 years and 4 kids. His narcissism compels him to act like a good guy in public so people have an incredibly difficult time understanding what's so hard for me but life with him has mostly been an extreme rollercoaster ride. Even the people in the community who know about his diagnosis really have a hard time understanding it at all. Its very draining and difficult for those of us in the home who have to live with it day in and day out. Right now he is stabilized so I'm thankful for that but last year there were two affairs and unbelievable turmoil for the kids. Its exhausting. When he's been out of the house its been a blessing in disguise because there was time to take care of myself too . . . but I know how frustrating it is to watch someone you care about become someone else . . . and once they're that other person they don't understand the need to fix the meds or sometimes even to take them at all. I wish you the best. When you're with someone like that things are so wildly out of control that I know, I at least, do everything I can to create stability and predictability (though I used to love spontaneity) . . . and my husband called me controlling too. I hope you recognized that there's no truth in that. You need your boundaries, you need stability . . . its normal. Its just his way of shifting blame (which he can't handle) for his bad behaviors away from himself.