Reply #8: 10 Reasons Andrew Romanoff is all wrong for the Democratic nomination: [View All]

[breadandwine]

Reason #1: Andrew Romanoff is a fighter. Can't have THAT. DLCers everywhere will be outraged! What if fighting Democrats were to SPREAD???????????

Reason #2: In a recent speech Romanoff said, "The message to our own party is this: Stiffen your spine or step out of the way!" Shocking! Since when do Democrats have a spine????? Who AUTHORIZED this? How dare he propose having a spine????!!!! We can't let Romanoff get the nomination! What if Democrats with spines were to SPREAD??????

Reason #3: This ad dares to refer to the New York Times instead of the all-important icon Glenn Beck WHO IS NEVER WRONG. Romanoff is showing he knows how to be a good propagandist and kick the SH*T out of an opponent. THIS IS FORBIDDEN UNDER DLC RULES OF SURRENDER. This man is totally out of control and a THREAT to the DLC establishment that must SUCK UP TO THE GOP AT EVERY TURN!!!!! Stop him!!!!!

Reason #4: Aging overpriced sclerotic Democratic political consultants everywhere will tell you this ad has too much BALLS and is OFFENSIVE and will alienate the all-important gambling constituency! Research CONFIRMS that eleven percent of Coloradans at SOME time in the last 15 years traveled 2 states away to Las Vegas, where there is gambling!!! There's always SOME constituency being offended ANY time you run a gutsy ad. So cut it out! Andrew Romanoff needs to be a good little boy, shut up and sit down!!!!!! Do NOT suggest that your opponent is stupid. It will offend the all-important STUPID constituency! Do NOT suggest that your opponent is getting old. It will offend the all-important octogenarian constituency! Do NOT suggest that your opponent is corrupt. It will offend the all-important corrupt voter constituency! Do NOT suggest that your opponent is a corporatist suck-up. It will offend the all-important corporatist constituency! AND it will offend the all-important SUCK-UP constituency! Marketing research surveys CONFIRM that 28 percent of Americans secretly want to suck up to everyone! 34 percent of Americans want politicians who suck up to everyone! 45 percent of Americans want movie stars who will suck up to everyone! 64 percent of Americans want their MOTHER-IN-LAW to suck up to THEM! This PROVES that Andrew Romanoff must SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!!!!!!!

Reason #5: Romanoff's opponent is NOT actually running a casino LITERALLY. This ad could offend the all-important nit-picking constituency!

Reason #6: This ad is alarmist. If the alarm were sounded on our side, it might not just be Republicans rushing to the polls in the Fall but Democrats. THIS IS A TOTAL THREAT TO THE ESTABLISHMENT!

Reason #7: This ad has tense music. What is Andrew Romanoff trying to pull!!?? Democrats are supposed to take Prozac and stay home!!!

Reason #8: This ad plays on people's emotions. Everyone knows things are bad, but if Democrats had EMOTION they might DO something about it!!! We need somnambulistic candidates who will put voters to sleep!!!!

Reason #9: Having emotion and anger and sentiment is the SEVENTH DEADLY DEMOCRATIC SIN and is not allowed in the Democratic Party!!!!

Reason #10: If you put "Andrew Romanoff" on Glenn Beck's blackboard and switch the letters around, it spells "Randrew Omanoff," and THAT sounds like "Omen - off." We sure can't let Glenn Beck get his hands on THAT one! We've got to kill the Romanoff candidacy before Glenn Beck comes on!!! Of course, as Rahm said, the progressive base is just a bunch of "F*CKING RETARDS." Romanoff's slight lead in the polls is just temporary, a fluke, and he will soon be behind. Understand: Andrew Romanoff is NOT being supported by our DLC White House. After losing one state race after another it's time everyone saw the need to trust our DLC overlords!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, Harry Truman said, "If you run a Republican against a Republican, the Republican will win every time." Truman was reelected president and Obama hasn't been yet. But what did Truman know? Truman was called "Give 'em hell Harry." Truman said of this, "I don't give the Republicans hell. I give them the truth and they think it's hell." See? That proves Truman was two-faced............