Reply #33: Dear Mr. Kieffe... [View All]

[jmowreader]

Fourteen percent of your listeners--well, probably more since this state is just packed with liberals--plan to sit down and shut up...in front of another car salesman, one who doesn't write ads guaranteed to "offend" fourteen percent of his potential customer base.

And you know what? Those fourteen percent of people notice that that 86 percent says they just "believe in God," not necessarily that they're Christians. Y'know, there are a whole lot of religions out there that believe in God but who aren't Christian. Let's say twenty-five percent of the God-fearing people in America don't believe in Jesus. That's probably low, but what the heck...those people intend to sit down and shut up in front of other car salesmen too.

And the rest of those guys, the ones who believe in Jesus? They have friends who are highly offended by your ad, and so they're offended by it too. They'll be sitting down and shutting up in front of other car salesmen too.

In fact, our research--which is just as good as your research--indicates that exactly one person in Bakersfield was neither directly nor indirectly offended by your ad. John Holmes of 3525 Water's Edge just loved your ad. He thought it was just great. Unfortunately for you, he lives in a van down by the river so he can't afford anything you sell, and he got a DUI on his scooter three weeks ago so he couldn't buy now even if he could afford to.

Mr. Kieffe, you know something? I think you screwed up.

Yours sincerely,
A Non-Customer For Life.