A short report from the top of the world [View All]

[Cyrano]

Having just returned from the North Pole, this intrepid freelance reporter can tell you that Santa is a Democrat to the core. The elves have a union and four of the reindeer are openly gay. (And Prancer confided that Santa doesn't really use a whip when driving the team.)

Mrs. Claus kept warning The Jolly One that she’ll leave him if he decides to produce any Nancy Pelosi dolls.

When I inquired if the White House was on his Christmas Eve route, he looked a bit embarrassed and nodded.

“But what about the ‘naughty and nice thing?’ asked I.

“Well, after all I am Santa and it’s really hard to not give gifts even to those who don’t deserve them,” replied the rotund one.

I think there was a bit of sarcasm in my voice when I remarked that he was caving in on his own “naughty/nice” principles.

“I can’t help it,” he replied. “I’m a Democrat.”