Reply #35: I had to leave my first baby to go to work. [View All]

[LWolf]

It was agonizing to drop him off every day, because I knew that the sitter would not love him as much as I, give him as much attention as I would, and nurture him with the same level of abundance.

I worried that his diaper would go too long, that he'd be too much in his play pen, that he wouldn't get enough direct interaction with people. It didn't matter that the care was adequate. Adequate wasn't good enough, and adequate wasn't me.

I hated every minute gone.

I didn't worry the same when I left him with family for a night off now and then, but family wasn't available for child care while I was working.