"Why legalize Gay marriage, they don't stay together long enough"

[serryjw]

I heard this Bushit on campus today. Anyone has stats on the longevity of gay couples?

[movonne]

1. Well that is really funny ...they stay together as long as straights do.

[Carla in Ca]

32. I agree and I think the question is moot

A couple is a couple...two people making a relationship. It is ignorant of someone to be able to say, much less believe, that there is a difference in duration, quality or legitimacy.
When someone makes a statement like that to me, I tell them it is adultery and divorce that is shameful. I never hear the RW talk about that!

[unfrigginreal]

2. Here's a stat

My SO and I have been together 15 years.

[Duncan Grant]

26. I didn't know you were PLU.

:toast: to 15 years! :hi:

[helnwhls]

41. stats mirror those of hetro

even down to seperation and partner abuse. Humans are humans.

[queerart]

44. Congrats!

15 years!

So very nice!

:bounce:

[Iceburg]

65. Top this: 3 gay partnerships in my family together 62 yrs

27, 25, 12 year respectively. My 6 straight siblings, one the other hand have only have 1 enduring marriage. Most dissolved in less than 4 years.

We live in Canada -- the choice is ours (for the most part, not all provinces are on board yet). I choose not -- to me it is just a religious party/ceremony. Unfortunately we are still living in an age where people do equate the religious ceremony of marriage with the legislative/civil law concept of marriage... and that is understandable because we use the same word to describe two different concepts. If I were king, I would call all of the state-sanctioned-matrimonial-unions (any combination/permutation of male/female) "civil unions", and reserve the term "marriage" for the religion-sanctioned unions (my compromise, since I don't think "they" would go for "uncivil unions")

Caution: If you choose not to get "married", referring to that set of fine China given to you by your my mother-in-law may prove to be a mouthful....
"Hon get you set the table with the "Provincially-Sanctioned-Domestic-Partnership plates? and let's light the "Provincially-Sanctioned-Domestic-Partnership" candles your sister gave us"

[justgamma]

3. My niece and her partner

have been together for 30 years. I'm sure there must lots of others.

[Lilli]

4. No stats but

my great aunt and her partner were together for 45 years.
They made it a lot longer than I did with my first marriage :)

[gospelized]

5. off the top of my head

i've been with my girlfriend over a year. britney spears has had 2 husbands in that time.

if that anecdotal evidence isn't enough...

52% of hetero marriages end in divorce.

only 1 homosexual marriage has. (none in america)

[queerart]

45. A Year Is Very Cool!

Congrats!

:toast:

[Duncan Grant]

54. And a great user name, too.

Congrats to you both! :toast: :party:

[Name removed]

79. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[arwalden]

80. You Can't Get Legally Divorced If You're Not Legally Married

... it makes sense to me.

But this idea of homosexuals having a problem with math might be worth looking into.

-- Allen

[Name removed]

82. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[arwalden]

83. I Fail To Understand The Significance Of That Distinction...

but okay. If that's important semantical distinction for you to make, then it really doesn't matter one way or the other to me.

I recall a survey that I participated in for the HRC in which they asked if I was in a committed LTR. I guess since *somebody* is counting and keeping track, then these numbers must be a statistic SOMEWHERE, eh?

-- Allen

edit:

HRC, Human Rights Campaign
LTR, Long Term Relationship

[Name removed]

84. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[arwalden]

86. Sangh0... I Must Have Been Unclear

Let me try again. My confusion was with the importance you placed on discerning the difference between the words "statistic" and "fact" when it comes to those relationships.

I really don't see how bringing up an old argument from a different thread helps anything or what it has to do with anything in this thread.

-- Allen

[sangh0]

88. A fact is not a statistic

Statistic involves groups of "things" (not necesarily tangible objects), not individual ones. Statistics describe distributions.

As far as the remark about "some homosexuals", it was meant to be humorous.

[arwalden]

91. That's A Bit Of A Stretch For Me... But If It's Important To You...

... and if you think you know what you're talking about, then I'll just take you at your word. That's fine. It's such a minor point that doesn't change reality and contributes little to this discussion. We can leave it at that.

>> As far as the remark about "some homosexuals", it was meant to be humorous. <<

Yes, humor. Ha ha. Of course it was. :eyes:

edit: But technically speaking (since I know you're very concerned with being precise) your original "joke" asked an all-inclusive question: "Do homosexuals have a problem with math?" The clear implication here is that homosexuals have a problem with math... but it's disguised as a question.

Yeah, sure... we all knew you were joking. Ha ha. Ha.

[Misunderestimator]

92. Why am I so insulted by the tone of your posts?

[arwalden]

93. What? Don't You Get It? It's "humor". -- Ha ha. -- A Joke! -- Ha ha.

:eyes:

[Misunderestimator]

94. Oh yeah.... *laughing*... very humorous indeed

[sangh0]

95. You are insulted because it was offensive

Intentionally offensive.

The OP criticizes the idea that it's OK to stereotype gays on the basis that "some" are promiscous and don't get involved in committed relationships. In this same thread, there are people who, while criticizing about the stereotyping of homosexuals, engage in the same sort of stereotyping. The only difference, in this case, is that it's not gays being stereotyped, so I guess it's OK.

At least, their tone isn't insulting you. They're insulting someone else. It just shows one thing - It depends on whose oxen is being gored.

[Misunderestimator]

96. You know what... you are NEVER going to make your point with me

that you are being discriminated against... so just give it up.

[sangh0]

100. I know that

When someone continues to state that something is not true, even after the proof is laid out in front of them, I conclude that that person will never change their mind.

But that never makes me stop. Just the opposite. It makes me want to see them repeat their intransigence for all to see.

that you are being discriminated against

Moi? Discriminated against? You must be confused.

The thread was about CHRISTIANS being discriminated against on DU, not me. I am not a Christian. Never have been and never will be.

I guess some people think only Christians think that Christians can be discriminated against. Another stereotype that won't insult you because it's not your oxen being gored.

[Misunderestimator]

101. Whatever. When someone comes on a thread about Gay Marriage

and throws down their little challenges in the guise of humor or *cough* education... I'm just nauseated. Give me the proof. You never have. You quote a few posters here as if it's proof. It's not. Give me PROOF that you have EVER been persecuted because of your christianity in the real world, and not in some anonymous posts here on DU.

Intransigence... A perfect word to describe your behavior.

[sangh0]

103. Give you the proof? Why bother?

You'll just ignore it like you did the last time.

Give me PROOF that you have EVER been persecuted because of your christianity in the real world, and not in some anonymous posts here on DU.

First you give me PROOF that I EVER said that *I* was being persecuted or give me PROOF that I'm a Christian (which I'm not).

It's obvious you think that only Christians would complain about anti-Christian bigotry on DU, even though many straight DUers complain about anti-gay bigotry.

I guess you don't realize that some DUers are willing to complain about bigotry even if it doesn't directly target them. Maybe that's why you assumed I'm a Christian

[Misunderestimator]

105. Fine, then give me the proof that any Christian claiming persecution

is persecuted in this country. You really ARE intransigent.

And... It may be "obvious" to you that I think non-Christians wouldn't stand up to people persecuting Christians, except for the fact that I am not a Christian, and I have not said ONE word against Christians here.

Now, really, just stop talking to me.

[sangh0]

108. I already did that in another thread

You ignored the proof.

It may be "obvious" to you that I think non-Christians wouldn't stand up to people persecuting Christians, except for the fact that I am not a Christian, and I have not said ONE word against Christians here.

You haven't stood up against the anti-Christian bigotry that's been posted on DU. Instead, you defended the bigots by denying their existence, and tried to blame those being subjected to bigoted remarks for not hitting the alert button, even if they did hit the alert button.

Once that was made clear to you, you still didn't stand up against the bigoted remarks. Instead, you defended the bigots by denying their existence, and tried to blame the targets of the bigoted remarks for not notifying the admins, even though they DID notify the admins.

And at no time have you even tried to explain why you assumed the alert wasn't hit, why you assumed the admins weren't notified, why you didn't read the links to posts that were bigoted, why you assumed that I was a Christian, or why you assumed that I complained about discrimination that targeted me.

Yep, I'm intransigent.

Now, really, just stop talking to me.

If you want someone to listen to your order, talk to your waiter. S/he cares what you think

[Misunderestimator]

110. You gave me no proof.

And I have seen no bigotry against Christians here. I saw a lot of people post threads and posts from DU as "evidence", but to me they did not appear to be bashing Christians. You may interpret things differently, that's up to you.

Once again, what proof was ever given for a Christian being persecuted in America (not some post on DU)? My point being that it is insulting for someone to compare Christian-bashing to gay-bashing, since gay-bashing actually exists in this country.

Amazing how far out of the way you go to pretend to make your point.

[sangh0]

117. You were given the proof

And I have seen no bigotry against Christians here.

Of course you haven't seen it. You avert you eyes when it's posted

Yesterday, I posted links to two threads with numerous bigoted statements in them. You ignored them so you could continue claiming that you've seen no proof.

I saw a lot of people post threads and posts from DU as "evidence", but to me they did not appear to be bashing Christians.

Now that the thread has been locked, you're claiming that there were no such posts in the linked threads, but you never said that in that thread. In that thread, you continued to claim that no one had ever made those comments (and if they did, others should have hit the alert and didn't, and should have told the admins)

My point being that it is insulting for someone to compare Christian-bashing to gay-bashing, since gay-bashing actually exists in this country.

No one compared Christian-bashing in America to gay-bashing in America. The subject was what goes on on *DU*. No one said there's a lot of Christian-bashing in America. The thread starter claimed there was some christian-bashing on DU.

Amazing how far out of the way you go to pretend to make your point.

Amazing how far you'll distort what actually happened. Yesterday's thread was about bashing on DU, not bashing in America.

ANd you still haven't explained why you assumed

1) That no one alerted on those posts.
2) that no one told the mods about this
3) That I complained about being discriminated against
4) That I'm a Christian

All part of how you intransigently refuse to acknowledge the facts.

[Misunderestimator]

120. Blah blah blah

Meatloaf:

* 1 1/2 pound ground beef
* 1 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/8 teaspoon pepper
* 2 tablespoons chopped onion
* 2 tablespoons chopped green pepper
* 2 cans tomato sauce
* 2 tablespoons sugar
* 1/4 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Combine beef, salt, pepper, onions, green pepper and 1/2 can tomato sauce. Bake 450 degrees for 10 minutes. Broil 5 minutes longer. While meat is cooking, combine remaining tomato sauce, sugar and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to boil, boil about 3 minutes. Pour on top of meat.

[sangh0]

121. "Religion is a mental illness"

is just one of the statements you thought was "not bigoted"

[Misunderestimator]

122. Meatloaf

Meatloaf:

* 1 1/2 pound ground beef
* 1 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/8 teaspoon pepper
* 2 tablespoons chopped onion
* 2 tablespoons chopped green pepper
* 2 cans tomato sauce
* 2 tablespoons sugar
* 1/4 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Combine beef, salt, pepper, onions, green pepper and 1/2 can tomato sauce. Bake 450 degrees for 10 minutes. Broil 5 minutes longer. While meat is cooking, combine remaining tomato sauce, sugar and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to boil, boil about 3 minutes. Pour on top of meat.

[sangh0]

128. "belief in a deity is a mental illness"

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=971574&mesg_id=971709

[sangh0]

129. "Strictly Speaking, The Term "Psychotic" Would Not Be Incorrect..."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=971574#971738

[sangh0]

130. Here's one that says "Good" if Christians are oppressed

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x1165825#1165988

[Misunderestimator]

132. Lasagna

Ingredients
6 lasagna noodles (4 ounces)
1 10-ounce package frozen chopped spinach
2 cups skim milk
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon dried minced onion
1-1/2 cups diced fully cooked ham (1/2 pound)
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning, crushed
1 cup low-fat cottage cheese
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese (4 ounces)

Directions
1. Cook lasagna noodles in lightly salted boiling water for 10 to 12 minutes or until al dente. Drain. Rinse with cold water; drain again. Set aside.
2. Meanwhile, cook spinach according to package directions; drain well. Set aside.
3. For sauce, in a medium saucepan combine milk, cornstarch, and onion. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Cook and stir 2 minutes more.
4. Spread 2 tablespoons of the sauce evenly on the bottom of a 2 quart rectangular baking dish. Stir ham and Italian seasoning into remaining sauce.
5. Arrange 3 lasagna noodles in the dish. Spread with one-third of the sauce. Layer spinach on top. Layer another one-third of the sauce, the cottage cheese, and half of the mozzarella. Place remaining noodles on top. Top with remaining sauce and mozzarella.
6. Bake in a 375 degree F. oven for 30 to 35 minutes or until heated through. Let stand 10 minutes before serving. Makes 6 main-dish servings.

[Misunderestimator]

133. Beef Stroganoff

Recipe By : Southern Living

Serving Size : 4

* 1 Pound ground beef
* 1 medium Onion -- chopped
* 2 tablespoons All-purpose flour
* 1/2 teaspoon Garlic salt
* 1/4 teaspoon Pepper
* 4 ounces Can sliced mushrooms
* 10 3/4 ounces Can Cream of Mushroom soup
* Undiluted
* 8 ounces Sour cream
* Hot cooked noodles

Cook ground beef and onion in a large skillet until meat is browned, stirring to crumble meat; drain.
Stir in flour and next 3 ingredients; cook and stir 1 minute. Stir in soup. Simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add sour cream, and heat thoroughly.
Serve over noodles. Yield: 4 servings.

[Misunderestimator]

134. This is great if you have a deity complex

Bruschetta

* 1 French baguette
* 3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
* 1 onion, minced
* 1 clove garlic, chopped
* 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
* 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
* 1 pinch salt
* 1 pinch ground black pepper
* 8 ounces mozzarella cheese

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a small mixing bowl, combine tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil, oregano, and salt and pepper. Mix well, cover, and refrigerate.
2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
3. Cut the loaf of French bread into 12 slices on the diagonal. Arrange the bread on a baking sheet and toast in the oven for 5 minutes, or until golden brown. Reduce the oven's temperature to 250 degrees F (120 degrees C).
4. Spoon equal amounts of the tomato mixture onto the toasted slices of bread. Top with slices of mozzarella. Place the pan of bread back into the oven until the cheese has melted just slightly and is oozing over the tomatoes, approximately 2 minutes. Serve immediately.

[Andy_Stephenson]

135. I am bookmarking this thread

just for the recipies alone.

[Paxdora]

141. ME TOO!

YUM!

[Andy_Stephenson]

137. Guilt free cheesecake

1 LB lowfat cottage cheese
1/2 cup nonfat evaporated milk
2 eggs
2 egg whites
1/3 cup sugar
1 Tbs Grated lemon rind
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup flour


In a blender combine the first 7 ingridents and blend till smooth. Add the flour and blend till mixed. Pour into a 9" premade Graham Craker crust and bake for 1 hour in a preheated 300 degree oven or until filling is set.

[Misunderestimator]

140. Excellent...

Sounds really yummy! :thumbsup:

[Andy_Stephenson]

131. Not to be rude to either of you...however.

This thread no matter what the OP said it turned into a nice thread about the longevity of gay and a few straight relationships. It was a real nice thread that to me reaffirmed my relationship with termite and what it means to me. Now, however you two are bickering over Christianity and another thread. Could you both please stop...or start a thread and bicker there?

Andy

[Misunderestimator]

136. Unfortunately ....

It's a little hard to leave things alone when they appear here out of context or not. I stopped a while ago, until I saw that it was continuing without me. I'll gladly bow out now.

And congratulations on your relationship!! :toast:

[Andy_Stephenson]

138. See my guilt free cheesecake recipe

it is yummy.

and thanks

[arwalden]

98. Personally I Have No Problem With Insulting My Enemies...

and those in the myopic religious right... well, they are my enemies. The hypocritical zealot bible-thumpers are my enemies. I think we're very clear about that.

We criticize, fault-find, insult and ridicule our enemies, and you become incensed at that? Wow.

So in response you become (by your own admission) "intentionally offensive" at a group of folks who are not the enemy... who are not the opposition.

I get it. I question the wisdom of that, but I get it.

-- Allen

[sangh0]

102. I have no problem with that, Alan

Insult our enemies all you wish. I'll even jump in.

But you are not always as careful as you make yourself out to be. You seem to think that what you mean is obvious. It's not.

I criticize your comments when they go beyond the hypocritical, lying fundies who are ruining our nation.

[arwalden]

109. I Cannot Be Held Accountable If Someone Cannot Understand Common English..

... or if they want to read more into my words than any reasonable person would. There is little that I can reasonably be expected to do to pacify the whiners who choose to invent insults out of my words.

I will not be goaded or bullied by you into feeling compelled to carefully construct every message that I type so that it meets with your seal of approval. Folks will just have to use their heads and common sense... and stop trying to find wholesale bigotry where none exist.

This is a political chat forum, and I'm certainly not inclined to write each message as though it were a convoluted committee proclamation that was written by Monty Python's "People's Front of Judea".

In the face of a critical message that lacks legalistic language and double-talk, the reader will just have to use a little common sense. Since the majority of rational readers have very little difficulty in understanding what I write, I'm not going to append an all-inclusive disclaimer to the bottom of my messages simply because there are some who enjoy engaging in hyper-analytical parsing of words.

I won't indulge such vanity requests and unreasonable demands as yours (or of others). The accusations of bigotry and the name-calling and personal attacks on me are unjustified.

-- Allen

PS: I don't address you SanghO, or Singh0, or Shanghai. I've shown you the courtesy of spelling your name correctly whenever I've addressed you in the familiar. Will you please do the same? It's not difficult, you can cut and paste if necessary, it's right there at the bottom of nearly all my posts. Or, just refrain from the little swipe. Thanks.

[sangh0]

118. You can be held accountable for your own words and actions

You can hide behind that "reasonable person" crap all you want, but earlier you claimed that "any intelligent person" would interpret a certain poster's words a certain way even AFTER that poster told you that you had misinterpreted his words.

You think your words are always clear and easy to understand. They aren't. Not always.

I will not be goaded or bullied by you into feeling compelled to carefully construct every message that I type so that it meets with your seal of approval. Folks will just have to use their heads and common sense... and stop trying to find wholesale bigotry where none exist.

You did a pretty good job of limiting your comments to the crazed fundies we both oppose in your previous post. I don't think you had to work to hard at it, and I know I didn't goad or bully you into that.

Or, just refrain from the little swipe. Thanks.

Did I misspell your name or something? I'm not sure what you're referring to here.

[arwalden]

124. If My Posts Are Deleted...Then I'll Know I'm Doing Something Wrong

Until then, all the moaning and whining from the peanut gallery, and all the cries of "bigotry-bigotry" are hollow and meaningless.

>> but earlier you claimed that "any intelligent person" would interpret a certain poster's words a certain way even AFTER that poster told you that you had misinterpreted his words.<<

No. I said that BEFORE his after-the-fact clarification. And even then his explanation and re-translation defied all logic so as to serve his own purposes. Any other intelligent person reading his original words would have understood the same thing (unless, of course an illogical and strained alternate "translation" would suit their desire to be portrayed a victim, or for the heroes' desire to be the defender of the victims.)

But, you know... that's just a continuation of old argument from an old thread and has nothing to do with this discussion.

>> You think your words are always clear and easy to understand. They aren't. Not always. <<

In that case, the people who are incapable of understanding me, or who detect my wholesale bigotry, should immediately click alert and report me to the moderators. Let the moderators sort it all out!

Unfortunately for some, I don't always write to suit the needs of the lowest common denominator. I assume that the reader has a modicum of intelligence and isn't fault-finding and hyper parsing just to ferret out imagined and invented insults.

Oh dear me! Someone chooses to be insulted because I didn't specifically disclaim them. The humanity of it all!

We all know that one of my poorly constructed and hastily typed and hard to understand messages is going to be downfall of modern Christianity.

Sounds to me like someone of such a delicate nature (or their defenders) needs to find a place to hang out on the Internet that isn't such a rough-n-tumble place. Political chat forums aren't likely the be the safest environment for their sensitive personalities.

>> I'm not sure what you're referring to here. <<

Heh-heh. Yeah, right. That doesn't surprise me.

-- Allen

[La Lioness Priyanka]

126. some people cannot tell the difference between those who are really

discriminated against...and who are just getting angry at their oppressors and the more powerful majority ....

[anonymousdemocrat]

6. Ewww...

two of my closest friends, J. & C., women, are getting married next month in Canada;
after 14 living together, I think they've solidified their committment sufficiently, n'est-ce- pas?

Gays are human beings, like anyone else, they/we commit and don't commit in equal numbers...

a.d.

[DieboldMustDie]

7. Didn't Republican supporter Britney Spears...

have a "marriage" a few months ago that barely lasted 2 days? :shrug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

8. I knew a gay couple in Portland

who were together about 25 years.

The relationship ended with the death of one of the partners. The survivor, who was a member of my church, was devastated, and as far as I know, has not gotten together with anyone else.

I also know a lesbian couple who have been together, oh, it must be forty years or so.

[Andy_Stephenson]

9. Well here is my statistic...

Termite and I have been together 18 years...how is that for longevity. Actually we have seen two couples (straight) meet marry and divorce in that time.

[Duncan Grant]

27. How often do we have an opportunity to celebrate GLBT relationships?

Can't happen often enough for me - it's been a long time coming. Wish gay couples could have been more visible when I was a kid!

:toast: to you and 18 years, God_bush_n_cheney! :hi:

[Andy_Stephenson]

33. Thanks

I will pass the toast along to Termite

[queerart]

40. Missed You Earlier My Friend........

18 years WOO HOO!

:yourock:

[troubleinwinter]

10. The first couple married in San Francisco

were two women who had been together for FIFTY years.

I think everyone deserves equal rights, but especially them!!!!

[Duncan Grant]

22. And here they are; Phyllis Lion and Del Martin .

Phyllis Lion (L) and Del Martin (R)

Don't forget about the Lion-Martin Women's Health Services (clinic) here in San Francisco, too. :hi:

edit: photo cap

[kayell]

59. I love that picture, It makes me tear up everytime I see it.

[Paxdora]

142. This is one of

the sweetest pictures I've ever seen. I have a lump in my throat right now...honest!

[porphyrian]

11. "Why not labotomize republicans, they don't think anyway." - n/t

[MADem]

77. But there would not be

...a discernable difference in their behavior, even with that procedure!

[PartyPooper]

12. My partner and I have been together for 31 years now.

Is that long enough?

:D

[Andy_Stephenson]

15. Yall are

married...

[queerart]

17. WOW POOPER!

Very Nice!

:party:

[Duncan Grant]

23. I'll toast to that!

:toast: :hi:

[TriMetFan]

62. That's just way kool.

31 yrs. I'll toast that.:toast:

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

13. My sister in law and her partner have been together for over 30 yearsl

So, what's "long enough"?

[Bluebear]

14. 19 years here

One stat. :)

[queerart]

18. Congrats My Friend!

19 years is wonderful!

:toast:

[Bluebear]

21. And they said it wouldn't last!

Well, no they didn't but here we are anyway!

[Duncan Grant]

24. Wow!

Congrats to you! :toast: :party:

[Bluebear]

28. Thanks and cheers!

[queerart]

16. To Be Fair.....

My relationship ended about 2 years ago.... But we were together 3 days shy of 16 years. My first we were together 9 years.... I'd prop my relationship history up against most marriages.:-)

[Duncan Grant]

25. Yeah, more queer people at DU.

:7 :hi: queerart! I always like to say hi to GLBT people I haven't met before. :toast:(root beer)

[queerart]

48. Hello 94114_San_Francisco !

Very Nice To Meet You My Friend! :-)

[dansolo]

19. As opposed to Britney Spears and Nikki Hilton?

[DefenseLawyer]

20. Obviously there are plenty of examples

of gay couples that stay together a long time and those that don't. Just as there are with straight couples. The civil protections and benefits given by the marriage contract are not contingent on the length of the marriage (unless you are married for an hour or two like Britney Spears). The key is making the legal commitment, signing on the dotted line if you will, that puts the protections in place. If two eighteen year old kids get married in high school, the law doesn't say "well your marriage probably won't last, so it doesn't really count". If you make the legal commitment you deserve legal protection.

[Duncan Grant]

29. Looks like my husband and I are just starting out: *only* 8 years.

There are some long term relationships in this thread... :hi:

[PartyPooper]

30. Congratulations. It goes by so very fast.

Enjoy each and every day together!

:hi:

:toast:

[Duncan Grant]

35. It does go by fast!

We're having a wonderful life together; highs and the occasional lows. I knew early on, when we started singing together in the car, that it was all going to work out. :D

[Andy_Stephenson]

38. I knew it would work between us...

literally one morning...we were having breakfast...not saying a word...just being together. I love Termite with all my heart and I know he loves me. I cannot imagine my life without him...God we have been together since I was 24. Fresh out of college and green. We met, moved in together a week later and here we are 18 years on.

[Duncan Grant]

39. I still love those kind of mornings.

During the winter rains here in SF, everything is muted and still - except for the steady sound of the rain. We have coffee and listen to the rain together...

When we travel we usually have several days when we get up at 6:00 am, throw on a hat, grab a cappuccino and walk around the city together. There are times when it's indescribably - perfect.

[DemBones DemBones]

50. That's so sweet. My husband and I have been together

since 1966, when I was 19 and he was 20, and we just knew it would last. He likes to tell about a friend in college who was standing with him in the student union, watching me walk away to go to class, and said "You've got to hang on to that little blonde." So he has! We were married five months after we started dating (against considerable parental opposition since we were so young) and we knew a lot of people were thinking it wouldn't last. It's been 38 years now. (Yeah, I know, we were together before you were born -- eek!)

Congratulations to you and Termite! :toast:

[queerart]

51. WOW! 38 Years Everyone!

:yourock:

:bounce:

:toast:

[DemBones DemBones]

56. Thank you! I guess I should make it clear

that we're straight. When I read a post in which a woman referred to her wife, it dawned on me that everyone may not know that I'm a woman and my husband is not.

Just so we don't unjustly get the prize for DU's longest-lasting same-sex relationship, you know. ;-)

[queerart]

60. LOL

Gay, Straight, Bi, or Thai.......

You should be very proud of 38 years!

(just in passing, I did know that you were straight when I sent the congrats... I checked your profile ;-))

[DemBones DemBones]

71. Just didn't want anyone to think I was trying to

pass myself off as something I'm not! :7

[TriMetFan]

64. Who cares if you are straight.

38 yrs is 38 yrs. So here is :toast: to you.

[DemBones DemBones]

73. Thanks! I was inspired by God_Bush_and_Cheney's story of

his love for Termite when I posted our story, not trying to hijack a gay couples' thread.

As I said in my first post to this thread, I've known a number of gay or Lesbian couples who were together 20 years or more.

I believe if you stick it out a year or more in a relationship, you've been a success in that you really tried to make love last. Often, the other person wasn't trying and there's not much anyone can do to cure that.

[Andy_Stephenson]

74. Amen!

Hats off to 38 years.

[queerart]

49. 8 Years!!!

:yourock:

[juajen]

31. Gee, I think Brittany Spears and J-Lo might change the statistics

way in favor of gay and lesbian couples. Kidding, but I honestly don't think that has anything to do with everyone having the same rights in this country.

[Scooter24]

34. Maybe not as long as many here...

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 1/2 years. :)

I am 24 and he is 23 and we are happy :hug:

[Duncan Grant]

37. That's good to hear!

:toast: Happiness to you both! :party: :hi:
edit: that needed a ! mark. ;)

[queerart]

46. Wooo Hoo!

4 1/2 Years!

:toast:

[0rganism]

36. I would be greatly surprised if realiable stats were kept on this subject

especially the topic of unmarried relationships, gay or straight. I somehow doubt the gays would have a higher divorce rate than straights do, anyway. How many times has Rush Limbaugh been married?

Ask the bushitter for his/her source. If it sounds like bushit, 99% of the time it is.

[TriMetFan]

42. My wife and I have been together for 18 yrs.

Been married for the last year thanks to the Great Country of Canada. So Thank You Canada.

[queerart]

47. 18 Years!

Very, Very Nice!

:bounce:

[Duncan Grant]

53. Congrats to you, TriMetFan!

:toast: :hi: :party:

[DemBones DemBones]

43. I've known a number of gay couples who've been together

twenty years or more, which does indeed beat many straight couples.

[donheld]

52. One the other side

My Straight parents were together for about 40 years. They fought for 39 of those years and hated the last 20 years at least. So just straights stay together "for the children" or "what would the church people say" doesn't make a marriage.

[JasonNeedlemeyer]

55. As a gay man myself. I can tell you.

Me and my partner have been together longer then most straight couples that I know.

[queerart]

61. Congrats To You Both!

:toast:

[foreigncorrespondent]

57. Well...

...sapphocrat and I have been together (almost) five years now, and we have survived one of the hardest hurdles any couple must face. Living in two seperate countries! (Those living arrangements aren't by choice either.)

The day we are finally in one country, under one roof, is the day I marry that woman! She has my heart, body, and soul for life! :loveya:

[queerart]

58. Congrats On 5 Years!

:toast:

[OneTwentyoNine]

63. Yeah,we need SOLID marriages like Rush Limbaugh's....

Three time loser now,maybe more we don't know about.

[freestyle]

66. Six years for my partner and me

That's longer than lots of straights. I don't think we could do worse than the hetero divorce rate. But, it really doesn't matter. The issue is equal rights, and you don't have to pass a test for that.

[Deja Q]

67. Have those bastards scrutinize hetero couples... More than half of them

divorce all the damn time.

Gays are not the problem.

[Clintmax]

68. We dont' stay together LONG enough?

I have been with my husband for almost 8 years. In the eyes of the law, if we were male and female and not male and male, we would be considered "Common Law" married. And yet, this is not considered for us because we are both the same sex.

If one of us were ever in a bad car accident for example (gods forbid), they would try to keep me from seeing him because I am not legally married to him. I can't imagine what I would do if they tried to keep me away from him. There would definately be a fight, and I would probably go to jail.

Many of the responders to this thread have been together for many more years than we have. More power to them! I hope we are together that long!

It is common knowledge that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce in the U.S. All these divorces are straight couples. NOW who doesn't stay together long enough?

[Rockholm]

69. 9 years here...Legally Married since June!

[BiggJawn]

70. No stats, just anecdotes.

Guy I worked for has been with his partner for more than 15 years now. Couple who lived down the alley from me have been together 10 years. Another couple in my present neighbourhood have been together 20 years.....

I've been married twice for a total of 12 years.

Go figure.

It's just like any other relationship. Anyone who buys that crap about gays drifting from bed to bed are hung-up on the "Sex Thing".

[Skittles]

72. the couple I know who has been together the longest

is a gay male couple.

[serryjw]

75. Congrads to ALL of you.......

:yourock:I hope I have the opportunity to dance :party:at all of your 50th anniversary parties. I personally know one couple together for almost 15 years and one over 40 also. Love, passion, committment is the same for gay or straights. We all go thru life looking to spend our life with someone. Personally my (straight) marriage lasted (barely!) 1 year. I'm so thrilled there are so many whom found the 'right one'.
The young man I was talking to was 17 and was beating the RW Rush Bushit. We talked for a long time and this issue and other maybe I made some inroads. FORTUNATELY he can't vote yet! I'm 54 and I do believe in my lifetime we will pass gay marriage. We just need to put everyone feet to the fire for a few years more.

[goodboy]

76. Do you know what area of our nation has the HIGHEST divorce rate?

the bible belt.

[sangh0]

78. And how is that point any different than the bigoted point the OP raised?

If it's OK to judge fundamentalists by how they behave as agroup, then what is wrong with judging homosexuals the same way?

[arwalden]

85. Oh Gee... That's A Real Head-Scratcher. Hmmm.

ROFLMAO!!

[goodboy]

111. Judge not...that's my point....(nt)

[sangh0]

119. Ahhh!

Thanks

[goodboy]

127. you are very welcome. (nt)

[arwalden]

81. Our Ten Year Anniversary Is Coming Up VERY SOON...

Aint' it grand!?!

-- Allen

[Malikshah]

87. Actually my brother and his partner have been

together for 16+ years
I've been with my partner for 5

My father recently noted that my two other brothers' have had less luck (both divorced)

Hmmmmm.

[arwalden]

89. Hmmm, Indeed!

Congratulations, you two! (You four!)

-- Allen

[Malikshah]

97. Thanks-- we need all the happy thoughts we can get

Unbounded domesticity has led to the marriage weight and the desire to work on the house more than each other and/or going out to clubs.

Ah bliss :) Wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Andy_Stephenson]

107. Me either...

I would rather spend the evening here at home with termite, than any other place.

Domestic bliss...it is grand.

[karlrschneider]

90. 23 years

:D

[FlaGranny]

99. I knew an elderly gay

couple who had been together for many years until one of them died. The surviving partner still grieves and has had a large portrait painted of his partner and has it hanging on his living room wall years later. Still gets a tear in his eye when speaking out him. I also know a lesbian couple who have been together for about five years now - at least as long as many straight marriages. At least the gay people I know are quite similar to the straight ones.

There is a gay couple living in my community now. I don't know them, but understand they've been together for quite some time. They are elderly.

There is a certain part of the gay community that enjoys prolific sex with many partners, but I think many straight men would do the same if they could find enough willing partners. It's a male thing more than a gay thing, at least that's my belief.

[WoodrowFan]

104. ARGH

:wtf:


hell, then lets outlaw marriages in Hollywood if that's the criteria!

[malachibk]

106. Just celebrated our 6th anniversary on 10/10

But I will say at least here in NYC that's pretty rare -- especially since we're both under 30. But then again, it's rare for my straight friends, too.

[southernlad]

112. 7 Years

Celebrated with my partner as of last Friday.

[Q3JR4]

113. IMPORTANT INFO FOR SAME-SEX MARRIED COUPLES.

If you've been together for an X amount of time, I suggest that you do a few things. Get signed and notarized (depending on the state in which you live in--U.S.) a power of attorney for finances, and a power of attorney for health care (living will).

This way if your partner becomes incapacitated, you can make financial and medical decisions on behalf of that other person. Furthermore, you would have legal weight behind an argument that you should have been allowed to visit with that person if it comes to a legal battle with the family members of your partner and the hospital in which he/she is at.

For more information do a search for "Power of Attorney"+"{your state}" on yahoo.com or google.com. Don't pay for the forms if you don't have to and always talk to a lawyer versed in such matters when making your plans--maybe a gay group in your state can point you in the correct direction.

****************************************************************

It's sad actually, the legal hoops we have to jump through to come up with even a facsimile of the legal rights conferred in a marriage-type situation.

[camero]

114. Isn't it hard to stay together with people calling you evil?

And harrassing you? I would think so.

[Misunderestimator]

116. And sinners, don't forget.

Yes... sometimes it is a challenge. Another difficult point that people don't consider that happened with my ex-partner... Her family "accepted" me, but often her mother would take her aside and say "Why do you have to be so demonstrative?"... When all we might have done is sit next to eachother and hold hands. Meanwhile her other daughter was lying on the floor with her new boyfriend for hours practically making out with no objections from anyone.

[camero]

123. A good point

It sounds like the same argument made against inter-racial marriage years ago.

[Atman]

115. My cousin and her partner...22 years

As long as my wife and I have been married. In fact, we're the longest-"married" couples at the family gatherings!

[bear425]

125. 24 years and looking forward to every day more! n/t

[lumberingbear]

139. No stats, but....

my sister and her partner have been together over 23 yrs.

I also know of a male couple (92 and 78 yo) who have been together since younger guy was 21. THAT'S 57 YEARS!!!

I have friends (male couple) in Az who have been together 35 yrs.

[IconoclastIlene]

143. Actually, I was thinking, there is nothing like marriage to ruin a

wonderful love affair!!!!

LOL...the lawyers are gonna win out on this one when the divorces start piling in.....$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


:thumbsup:

[Ms. Toad]

144. 23 years on 9/11

(And since it was 20 years on 9/11/2001 that means every big anniversary for us is also a big anniversary for that other 9/11 event.)

Thank goodness we have two other anniversaries: our marriage in our faith community on 9/10, and our Canadian marriage on 5/6 (the day before the Ohio marriage discrimination law took effect).