I picked up Luna's ashes this past weekend....

[malta blue]

And I must say, I am quite upset about how they were delivered.....

I really like our vets, they have always been very straight-forward with me and have been treating my pets for 5 years.

I called last week - 21 days after she passed and asked about her ashes, only to be told they had come in "about a week ago"

No one had called to tell me and I would have assumed a phone call was common practice.

So I went to pick them up, and I was handed a brown shopping bag with a white plastic box, taped shut on two sides. It was a heavy box, so I figured the urn was inside.

I slit the tape and opened the box to find a plastic bag with ashes, held closed with a twist-tie.

They did not consult me about urns when I took her in.

My cats were all previously returned in an urn without me having to specify anything other than private cremation.

Urns on the internets are running upwards of $50.

I must do something to rectify this, but am I off base to expect an urn?

Anyone have experience with this???

[Longhorn]

1. The ashes of our dachshund, Brutus, were delivered like this:

The ashes were in a plastic bag closed with a twist-tie. The bag was in a wooden box with a brass lock and a plate engraved with his name and year of death. The box was in a velvet bag with a rope drawstring. The bag was in a lovely gift bag that also included a certificate of his death, a copy of The Rainbow Bridge and some other inspirational essays and poems, and a refrigerator magnet with a place for his photo.

I didn't ask for any of this and was quite touched and pleased. We have the box on our mantel.

I'm so sorry that your vet's office didn't at least discuss the details with you and let you know if you had options. And I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

[malta blue]

2. thanks longhorn

:hug:

[hobbit709]

5. That's the way our vet does it

We have a shelf with 3 boxes on it now. We buried one dog in the back yard but I said never again. The yard has about 6 inches of dirt, then it's caliche.

[livetohike]

3. I'm sorry the office was so insensitive malta blue

I would call them and talk to the office manager or the vet and tell them that you aren't happy with the way this was handled (especially the fact that no one called to tell you Luna's cremains were in) and ask them if urns or other boxes were available and what would that cost.

When Ranger was cremated in Feb. 2003, I didn't know what to expect. His cremains were delivered to the vet office and they called us. Ranger's cremains were in a cedar lined wooden box that had a tiny lock and key on it. I did open it. His ashes were inside a clear plastic bag and they had placed a tiny rose with a banner that said "Ranger" on top of the bag. They included a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem and a nice sympathy card.

Previously, back in 1987 our dog Smokey was cremated and his cremains were returned inside a decorative round tin. I didn't even open it until 2003. His ashes weren't even in a bag.....I could have picked them up in my hand!

Good luck with the vet office. If they don't offer any help, you can go out and buy a nice tin or wooden box for much less than an urn. My sister and bil put their dogs ashes in a large stein (my bil collects steins). So that's another idea....... :hug: at least Luna is home with you now.

[CC]

4. My vet office offers an urn but that

increases the price by about $100.00 and up depending on what you choose. I usually don't chose one since they are way to big for a ferrets ashes and I make my own box.(Pic of one below.) So they come back in a huge plastic case with the name on it and inside is a tiny plastic bag with the ashes. They did start making plaster cast of their paw prints last year. When I got Puzzles' in the mail I broke down but I am glad I have it. I didn't know and wasn't prepared so it hit me kind of hard.

[lukasahero]

6. Oh malta, I'm so sorry

It's hard enough to go through this but to have it handled so insensitively must be frustrating. I don't know what the "standard" practice is - as an adult I have only lost 3 animals and each situation was different. Interestingly, neither of the two that required third-party intervention was handled by my primary vet so I still don't know how they would have handled it.

Of course you know I recently lost my Beau and when the mobile vet came to the house to put him down, she brought with her a brochure for a local pet cemetary/crematorium. She advised us to call them and discuss our options. This was quite different from when I lost my cat Theo a few years ago where the vet handled all the arrangements.

I have decided that the difference was in the size of the animal - my little Theo's ashes were sent directly to us in a small wooden box with a sympathy card and the Rainbow Bridge poem at no charge (they may have charged us within the vet bill but I was too distraught to notice). Inside the box his ashes were in a plastic bag. But Beau was a big boy and the difference in size and weight in the box and the ashes is considerable. We chose the receptacle - also a wooden box - and his ashes were placed in a plastic bag and wrapped in paw-printed tissue paper. We paid about $100-150 for the cremation and box and the remains were sent to our primary vet who called us as soon as they arrived.

I don't know if this helps but perhaps it will give you some information to bring to your vet when you discuss it with them. And I would discuss this with them. My primary vet not only handled our loss with sensitivity and care, they sent us a sympathy card signed by the office staff and made a donation in Beau's name to a local charity. The mobile vet who never met Beau before she came to put him down, sent us a sympathy card with a very nice hand-written note and the vet who handled my little cat's situation sent us a card signed by the whole staff and a rose. Vets can and should be the first to make the passing of a pet a little easier, a little gentler. They shouldn't be the ones to make it harder.

[GardeningGal]

7. My dog's ashes came in a box also.

But I had the option of selecting an urn and I opted not to because I wanted to get a memorial for the garden and I could put her ashes under her favorite tree.

[malta blue]

8. ** I have not called the vet's office yet **

I thought I could handle this type of discussion, but even reading all of your kind replies makes me cry so hard, I don't think I can deal with them just yet.

Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't answer each of you individually, it really just breaks my heart to even write this.

:cry::cry:

[emilyg]

9. Huge hug for you.

:hug:

[Eurobabe]

10. So sorry MB

:hug: :hug:

[BattyDem]

11. I'm so sorry.

I lost my "baby" in February, so I know what you're going through. I'm so sorry your Luna was returned to you like that. It must have been heartbreaking. :hug:


The way your pet is returned all depends upon the place that handled the cremation.

Twelve years ago, I lost my cocker spaniel and his ashes were returned to me in a copper-colored, tin canister. (I was also given a certificate of death/cremation and a copy of the Rainbow Bridge.) His ashes were in a plastic bag which was closed with a plastic tie. I hated it. I bought him a marble urn with an engraved plate.

In February, I lost my poodle, Maestro, and the vet told me to contact the crematorium to make the arrangements. (It was different than it was with my cocker spaniel. At that time, the vet handled all the arrangements for me.) I called, discussed the details and they told me how the ashes would be returned. I had the option of purchasing an urn from them, but I didn't. One week later, he was returned in a lovely, cherry-colored, wooden box with a brass lock. Although it was very nice, I wanted him to have a marble urn like my other guy. When I opened the box, I found something that looked like a pillow. His ashes were in a plastic, zip-loc bag. The zipper was sealed and then folded over and secured with tape. Then it was neatly wrapped in dark green tissue paper - which made the "package" look like a little, green pillow. (I did peak inside the tissue, just to make sure he was there - which was a bit silly, I guess.) I took the "pillow" out of the box and put it in the urn. I was also given a certificate of death/cremation.

I bought his urn locally, at a place that sells cemetery monuments, mausoleums and urns. It cost about $130 with the name plate. They did have very nice wooden, brass and ceramic urns that are specifically designed for pets (the one I bought was designed for a child) and didn't cost as much. I only got the marble one because my other guy had marble - I didn't want to play favorites. :-)


Maestro died at an Animal Emergency Hospital. (I won't go into the details, but he took a unexpected turn for the worse after a long illness.) The doctor who cared for him didn't know him, but she sent me a copy of the Rainbow Bridge and a packet of seeds - Forget-Me-Nots - with a card that told me to plant them in his memory. Our primary vet made a donation in his name to American Animal Hospital Association's Helping Pets Fund, which pays for veterinary care for homeless pets and provides free veterinary care to families with financial problems who can't afford it.

In other words, everyone involved with Maestro's passing was very kind and thoughtful. You should say something to your vet and his staff. Perhaps they're not aware that no urn is given with the ashes. Be sure to mention the fact that no one bothered to call you. They should have been a lot more compassionate. :-(

You should also find out the name of the crematorium and give them a call. The way they returned Luna was just terrible. You should have gotten a certificate of death/cremation. At the very least, you should have gotten some kind of inexpensive container, not just a plastic bag!


I know it's difficult to read these messages. I'm so sorry if I made you cry. I hope you get this resolved for both you and Luna. :hug:



edited: typo :blush:

[alstephenson]

12. I'm so sorry for your loss of Luna. BattyDem is right.

How things are handled really depends on the crematorium. We lost two kitties in the same year - Tyler's remains were returned to us in a small plastic bag that had been placed in a black lucite box. Domino died at home over the weekend (after a lengthy illness) and we called around to see who could pick up her body and perform the cremation. We got a call back right away from one place and were impressed with their professionalism - some of the calls we made were never even returned! We purchased an urn which holds both of their remains. It is two dolphins gleefully jumping from the sea - I believe in reincarnation and I think Tyler and Domino had evolved to the point that they will come back as dolphins.

I hadn't thought about all of this for awhile - it still hurts so bad. Please, give yourself some time to get over the hurt, then by all means call your vet and tell them how disappointed you were. They may change crematoriums, and they should certainly review their policies regarding notification of when the remains are returned. Like some of the other posters, my vet sent a card that the whole staff had signed, sent a plant, and also made a donation to a local animal welfare organization - knowing that they cared meant a lot to me. If you don't get a sympathetic response when you call, then change vets. In my opinion dealing with the grief over the loss of a pet is part of their professional responsibilities.

Again, I am so sorry you went through this. It's just so damn hard to lose our best friends.