My sad loss

[susanwy]

Tuesday morning our two year old kitty was run over by a car. At 6:30am my husband (I was sooo mad at him all week), brought dead kitty into the house just as the kids were coming down the stairs to get ready for school. Mayhem erupted, crying, teenagers shouting, our oldest broke the back door window. This sent my husband into a rant at our oldest and meanwhile I was standing there trying to wrap, still warm, dead kitty in a towel and find a box. All the while crying with my younger son. Plus, I HAD to go at 7am, I had to be at a conference and so I had to take care of kitty, get kids out of the house, calm husband down (without slapping him, because he totally handled the situation wrong). Why did he bring the cat in, couldn't he have gone around to the garage and called me in via the cell phone? We could have told the kids later, calmly. No offense to any of the men on the board, but sometimes men are morons.

Week has gone by, busy conference is done, with a great closing party last night, where I cried in my beer a little and danced to a great bluegrass band till I was dizzy. But, today I came home at noon and it all sunk in .... We only had Buddy for less than two years, but he was soooo sweet. A big monster of a blue eyed Siamese. We tried to keep him an indoor kitty, like our other little kitty, but he just wouldn't have it, and slipped out whenever possible. My Dad (83) kept letting him out. We asked him 100 times to at least not let him out at 5:30am, because it was dark and he was more likely to get hurt. I can't be angry at Dad, he feels terrible too. Teenagers are talking to husband again, and he has apologized, plus he is the one that discovered dead kitty, so he feels bad all the way around too. But, this has been tough. We got Buddy about 3 months before putting our 19 year old Siamese down. Why do we fall so fast for these animals? We've been lucky, this is the first pet we have lost to something other than old age. Our Lab is bummed two, they were raised as puppy and kitten together and Vincent has spent the week looking for kitty every evening (play time).

Thanks all, I just needed to vent, sorry for the gory details and the rambling....I'd post a picture of Buddy, but I can't even look at them right now.

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[roody]

1. So sorry about Buddy.

You gave him a happy life; thank you.

[livetohike]

2. I'm so sorry for your loss of Buddy.....

:hug: for you and your family and Vincent. You gave Buddy a good life and I hope your memories of him will help ease the sadness in the coming days.

[BrklynLiberal]

3. So sorry for your family's loss.....

[Eurobabe]

4. Condolences to you all susan

It doesn't matter how short or how long you've had a furkid -- they leave permanent paw prints on your heart. :cry:

:grouphug:

[IndyOp]

5. I am so sorry about your Buddy...

There is no good way to lose a kitty you love.

:(

:hug:

[TwilightGardener]

6. Terribly sorry, such a young kitty! I know what you mean about

looking at pics, I can barely bring myself to look at photos of my departed wiener dog--I had to force myself to do it. Pets leave such a big empty hole in the family when they go. I also have a two-year old Siamese female, and yeah, I meant to keep her an inside cat (unlike my two boy cats), but she slips out too, so I can sympathize--she loves to roll around in the sun, and to skulk around chasing falling leaves and grasshoppers, and she is very proud of her occasional mouse and mole kills. It's so hard to deny them that happiness--they love being outside so much! I am glad your family is starting to heal up--my husband would have done the same thing (bringing poor dead kitty in for all to see). Not out of cruelty, more out of a "need to confront" kind of attitude, I think. Hope you start to feel better soon--my wiener only died a week and a half ago, and I'm already starting to laugh and smile at the memories more than I tear up.

[susanwy]

7. I'm just trying to get over a sense of guilt

Usually at night, I made sure Buddy was in one of the kids rooms, so he wouldn't get out early. But, Monday I was up late getting stuff ready for conference and I thought, its okay. Now, I'm just not sleeping. He was such a beautiful, affectionate boy and I can't believe he is gone. Today I'm getting rid of the auto-litter box, because every time the thing goes off, I cry.

On edit, so sorry for the loss of your dog, I guess we both need to just give it time.:hug:

[TwilightGardener]

8. Thanks about my weenie. He was a good boy, and died suddenly and pretty young.

Don't let the guilt consume you--I beat myself up for the first couple days because I wish I had taken him to the vet sooner (he died of a fast and overwhelming GI infection that went septic). I kept thinking that if I had taken him to the vet the same day he developed a fever, to get him on antibiotics, he might have lived. I just figured he was feeling punky, and would get over it quickly, same as my other pets at various times, but I was wrong--I didn't realize how serious it was. I waited a day, took him in, and by then things had progressed badly. Still, some things are just beyond our control or our ability to predict, and we just have to come to terms with our guilt and grief and get past it somehow. Good luck to you. :hug: