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eridani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 04:23 AM
Original message
Parodies
http://www.prudentbear.com/archive_comm_article.asp?category=Guest+Commentary&content_idx=37375


American Bye
November 2, 2004
Harry Chernoff is an independent economist in Great Falls, VA

(with apologies to Don McLean)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How the dollar used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
I’d sell the currency of France
And, maybe, I’d be happy for awhile.

But all our spending made me shiver
With every T-bill we’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I heard our politicians lied
But something touched me deep inside
The day the dollar died.

Chorus:
So bye-bye, dollar assets good-bye
Sold my Chevy at the levee
‘cause my pension ran dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ sake to try
Singin’ this’ll be the day that it died
This’ll be the day that it died.

Did you write Whitehouse.gov
Or have you a Yen to fall in love
If Japan will tell you so?
Now, do you believe in oil ‘n coal
Can China fill our import hole
And can we teach them how to grow real slow?

Well I know the country’s fit and trim
‘Cause the jobs are in the Pacific Rim.
We all knew savers lose
Man, I dug not having to choose.

We were living off the almighty buck
We got their goods and they were stuck
But I knew we were out of luck
The day the dollar died.

I started singin’
Chorus:

Now for ten years we were sure we owned
All the stocks and bonds and mortgage loans
But that’s not how it’s gonna be.
When we’ve spent it all like kings and queens
On clothes we bought from the Philippines
The Asians pick the reserve currency.

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
Their central bankers came to town.
Our stocks and bonds were spurned
Those dollars were returned.
And while unions filled their books with Marx
The President said drill in parks
Our thermostats froze in the dark
The day the dollar died.

We were singin’
Chorus:
.
Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The equity’s gone from your leveraged shelter
Fannie and Freddie are falling fast.
Crash, they landed, but in a new class
Full faith and credit have long since passed
With Congress, in denial, out of gas.

Now the Wal-Mart there has cheap perfume
With imports filling every room.
We all got up to dance
Oh, but we never got the chance.
The consumers tried to take the field
The central banks refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the dollar died?

We started singin’
Chorus:

Oh, and there we were all in one place
Our credit rating in disgrace
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Al be nimble, Al be quick!
Al, cut rates by 50 ticks
‘cause credit is the debtor’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No congressman in hell
Could buy what he would sell.
And as the rates climbed high into the night
To stem the U.S. asset flight
The IMF said, “Yes, that’s right”
The day the dollar died

They were singin’
Chorus:

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her if we still could choose
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the Medicare store
Where we’d spent our dollars years before
But the man there said those dollars wouldn’t pay.

And in the streets the children screamed
The seniors cried and the workers steamed
But not a word was spoken
The commitments all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
Faber, Rogers, and Bill Gross
Were at the forex trading post
The day the dollar died.

And they were singin’
Chorus:

They were singin’
Bye-bye, dollar assets good-bye
Sold my Chevy at the levee
‘cause my pension ran dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ sake to try
Singin’ this’ll be the day that it died.
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eridani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-18-04 01:57 AM
Response to Original message
1. Especially for Christmans
TOYS FOR THE WORLD
tune--Joy to the World-- lyrics by Cliff Tasner

Toys for the world are made by kids
And not by elves at all!
We work them night and day
For very little pay.
And little tiny hands
Make all your fav'rite brands
That fill up the shelves in every shopping mall.

Toys for the world that Santa brings
So your sweet kids can play...
What's underneath your tree
Is our economy.
And all those girls and boys
Who make you're children's toys
Are not getting squat from us on Christmas Day!
They're not getting squat from us on Christmas Day!


O COME YE INVESTORS
tune--O Come All Ye Faithful-- lyrics by Felonius Ax

O Come, ye investors, bold captains of commerce,
Let’s get our products made in old Saipan.
Come for the people, peaceful and compliant
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!

See how consumers, blinded by low prices,
Leaving their ethics, come here to buy.
Into our pockets they will pour their dollars.
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!

Child, in our sweatshops making designer watches,
Billionaires get richer from your twelve-hour days!
Who would not hire you for ten cents an hour?
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!


REST EASY WEALTHY GENTLEMEN
tume--God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen.-- Lyrics by Felonius Ax

Rest easy, wealthy gentlemen,
Let nothing make us sigh.
We give our workers tiny crumbs
So we can keep the pie.
We pay off politicians
So they bear our needs in mind
And they line up to kiss our fat behind.
If they're inclined,
They line up to kiss our fat behind!

Don't worry, wealthy gentlemen,
Let nothing make us twitch.
This new global economy's
Designed to keep us rich.
We ply our trade in many lands -
Let all their leaders come
To bend down and kiss us on the bum.
There's a good chum.
Just bend down and kiss us on the bum!
There's a good chum.
Just bend down and kiss us on the bum!


WE THREE KINGS (OF PETROLEUM ARE)
tune--We Three Kings (of Orient Are)-- lyrics by Ivy League-Legacy

We three kings of petroleum are
Bearing drills we traverse afar
Deserts, mountains, black gold fountains
>From Iraq to Anwar


Oh-oh, OIL of wonder, OIL of might!
We drill and plunder day and night
Bombs and rockets fill our pockets--
We do what's wrong and call it right.


Born again, I gave up cocaine
I stole your votes from Texas to Maine
Pres'dent forever, ceasin' never
O-o-ver y'all to reign



I'm DICK CHENEY, look at me lie!
When I smile, I make children cry
No-bid contracts for my contacts--
Who needs an alibi?



I'm Karl Rove, I lurk in the gloom
Encompassing democracy's doom
Cheating, lying, leaking, denying
All for us, none for you!


Oh-oh, OIL of wonder, OIL of might!
We drill and plunder, day and night
Bombs and rockets fill our pockets
We do what's wrong, and call it right!

PRISON CELLS
tune--Jingle Bells-- lyrics by Felonius Ax
It's just a traffic stop - for D.W.B.
Then the cop plants drugs on you and busts you, one-two-three.
Or you could get popped - and if it's your third strike,
You'll get life in prison just for jacking someone's bike! Oh...

(Chorus)
Prison cells, prison cells - don't you break the rules.
We spend more on prison cells than we spend on our schools!
Prison cells, prison cells - You'll be doing time.
We'll lock you up for forty years and say we're tough on crime!

Here comes the D.A. Watch him rig the game.
He'll suppress the evidence that just might clear your name.
You could still appeal, but you're bound to fail.
Your court-appointed lawyer couldn't get Jesus out of jail! Oh
(Chorus)

You'll be building toys. You'll be booking flights.
We'll force you to work so just forget about your rights.
We don't pay you much. You can't unionize.
Prison labor really makes our profit margin rise! Oh...
(Chorus)

We don't add no frills, nor rehabilitate.
We privatize the prisons and we get rich from the state.
If our venture fails, and if our stock should tank,
We'll let the public bail us out and laugh it to the bank! Oh...
(Chorus)


CAROL OF THE BILLS
tune--Carol of the Bells-- lyrics by Diva Denz

Closing Bell Rings! Fill your stockings!
With Market Shares, Nothing we'll Spare!
Capital Gains, Nothing Remains,
For pension plans, wage earning clans
Ding Dong, Ding Dong, that is our song!
With Closing Ring, Profiteering!
Ownership Race, we'll set the pace!
Glee we reap from, Unearned income!
Oh, how it pounds! Closing Bell Sounds!
Through halls of gold, so Rich and Bold!

Gaily it rings, CEOs Sing
Songs of their gains. Free Market Reigns!
Social Social Social Social Security
Private Private Private Privatizing!

On, the bell tolls, Divert Payrolls
Our elite tones, Drown working homes.
Closing Bell Rings! Fill your stockings!
With Market Shares, Nothing we'll Spare!
Capital Gains, Nothing Remains,
For pension plans, wage earning clans
Ding Dong, Ding Dong, that is our song!
With Closing Ring, Profiteering!
Ownership Race, we'll set the pace!
Glee we reap from, Unearned income!
Oh, how it pounds! Closing Bell Sounds!
Through halls of gold, so Rich and Bold!

Gaily it rings, CEOs Sing
Songs of their gains. Free Market Reigns!
Social Social Social Social Security
Private Private Private Privatizing!

On, the bell tolls, Divert Payrolls
Our elite tones, Drown working homes.
Ding Dong, Ding Dong
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