August....the month of death.

[Obamarama]

God, I hate August.

The realization just set in that I will probably need to put my 16 year old dog to sleep at some point this week. She's in kidney failure and has pretty much stopped eating the last couple days. She's not in any pain or experiencing any suffering...at least not visibly. What makes it all the more difficult is that August is already a really difficult month for me. It seems like the most important people in my life have all died around the middle of August.

My best childhood friend drowned when we were on a swimming outing on August 11.

Two of my best friends from young adulthood died in a plane crash on August 16 (Northwest flight #255 in Detroit). I was supposed to be on the flight, but had to change my ticket two days prior to departure to leave for Phoenix a week later instead due to a last minute crisis at work.

My six-year old niece died on August 12, after helping nurse her through four years of fighting cancer.

And, my dad died on August 17.

And now, my dog will go in August as well. Having lost people central to my life and pets, I know the loss of a pet is much different and less traumatic than losing a person or people you dearly love. I guess I'm just PISSED it has to be during a month that is already crushingly familiar with death in my life.

I wouldn't say I get depressed during August, but I certainly dread its arrival on the calendar. I tend to get edgy, withdrawn, less communicative - oh wait...those ARE signs of depression. What I mean is in general, I don't believe myself to be clinically depressed. But I think one can be situationally depressed for brief periods.

I just want August to hurry the hell up and get over with before anyone else dies...that's basically how I feel. Looks like that won't happen this year...again.

[auntAgonist]

1. It hurts remembering those who have passed on

Family and friends alike. I'm sorry you're having to consider putting your pal to sleep too. My mum passed away in August, the 23rd. I always dread August and November. November 26th was her birthday.

My heart goes out to you, you've had so much loss.

:hug:
Please let us know how you're doing thru the month.


aA
kesha

[RevCheesehead]

2. I think the loss of a pet can be just as traumatic as losing a person.

It's a different kind of loss, to be sure. However, I cried more tears of despair over losing Roo than I did with losing Mom. Maybe it was being more prepared. Maybe it was in losing Roo first. I don't know. But when Binky got sick, I thought I might lose her, too - and again, the sobs of despair were back.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that grieving sucks, no matter who it is that died. We loved them, and miss them terribly... no matter when, or what month.

[havocmom]

3. Pet is another member of the family

and the loss is probably as big a pain, just not as culturally accepted. Know there are many who do understand.

as to the history of this month for you...

Wish we here could help shoulder some of your pain this month. So long as you understand the concept of situational depression, you are ahead of the crowd in dealing with all the blows this time of year seems to send you.

How you feel today is not what forever feels. Love your dog. Tell her how she has made your life better. Let her know she mattered. Be a friend.

Then, when you have gone with her as far as this life allows, be a friend to yourself. Be kind, be gentle, be patient. Allow for the flood.

And remember we are all here in this forum, available.

hm

[havocmom]

4. Welfare check. How ya doin, KzooDem?

Just lettin ya know people do keep ya in their thoughts and hope you are handeling things as well as possible

Sending strength and understanding.

hm

[Obamarama]

5. Thank-you havocmom....

To update, we just put her to sleep this evening. She was exactly 16 1/2 years old to the day, and was the best pet anyone could ask for. Her spirit kept her going for another month (we got past August....yayyyy), but her spirit really started wilting in the past couple days. It was her time.

Thank you for your concern.

[RevCheesehead]

6. Thank you for your courageous act of love.

I know it hurts like hell, but you will be comforted by knowing you did the most loving thing possible for her. :hug:

(I had to have Binky euthenized at the end of August. Believe me when I say that I know how painful, yet surprisingly, comforting, that is.)

[havocmom]

7. What the Rev said. Yes, most difficult and kindest act

Your friend might have known the timing before was particularly painful for you and that may have given her the strength to get you over your personal 'hump' before she needed to let go.

You returned the favor by seeing that her passage was a good and gentle one.

Such kindness and devotion you gave her there. Spirit will remember your kind, selfless act.

In a bit of time, sweet dreams will come to you, like lovely droplets of cleansing rain, and your friend will show you an existence free of pain and burden of age. Dreams will come of happy times and you can dance through lovely memories with your dear friend. Do not be surprise if you sense her smell upon waking. Have heard of it happening. The mind and spirit offers so many gifts to the loving.

Sending strength. Know we here always send strength.

hm