July 24, 2023

The end of anti-Woke hysteria? Barbie draws $155MM in North America alone

“Go woke, go broke.”

That’s what our right-wing overlords have been telling us. Make a movie, a beer commercial, a t-shirt that doesn’t fall in line with the excruciatingly narrow view the Right has of What We May Be and What We May Do, and go bankrupt immediately. Good upstanding films like Sound of Freedom - that’s what you want.

And then comes Greta Gerwig. She directed what is quite possibly the most woke movie it is possible to make…and like a pink-painted 2x6 upside Ron DeSantis’ go-go-boot-wearin’ empty melon head, in three freakin’ days it went into the black. It did $155 million US and Canada box office, $337 million worldwide. Since a film only needs to make double its production budget to cross into profit-making territory, Gerwig’s $100 million fantasy flick became profitable sometime on Saturday. It is quite appalling…well, for all the people who hate “woke” without even being able to define woke.

And it did it without “pay it forward” money laundering schemes that led scores of exhibitors to project Sound of Freedom to “sold out” auditoriums with six pairs of actual eyeballs in them. No sirree, $155 million worth of moviegoers, many wearing frilly dresses and pink lipstick like the title character, walked into movie houses and REALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE!

I suspect three things are at play here.

First, it’s a fun movie. Even the people screaming about how all this wokeness is going to bring on the immolation of America liked it, but they’ll never admit to it.

Second, it’s something new. It isn’t based on a comic book, a remake of some flick from 50 years ago that we just hadda make because we already rented the camera and bought the hairspray, or another “Christians are SOOOO persecuted” two-hour whinefest.

But the most important, to my eye, is that people are getting fed the hell up with the Hard Right dictating our lives. They want to control what we can do to our bodies, put in our bodies, read, watch, do and think. We’ve had it. We are speaking up. If the opening salvo is to swipe a bit of sparkly shadow across our eyelids before heading out to see a silly movie…well, so be it.

July 21, 2023

First Patriot Front trial: five defendants, five convictions

https://cdapress.com/news/2023/jul/20/patriot-front-members-convicted/



The maximum sentence for this crime is one year in jail and a $5000 fine. These guys' biggest problem right now is Coeur d'Alene, ID, as hard right as it is, has VERY long memories of the Aryan Nations and other white supremacist groups. I think they'll get the maximum punishment. I will keep you fine folks apprised as to what their fate becomes - I'm writing this before the courthouse opens.

Their defense attorney, one Robert Sargent of Spokane, WA, reported that &quot t)hey were citizens who had a right to have their words heard and did not have an intent to harm anyone." Cd'A Deputy City Attorney Ryan Hunter responded with, "They knew going in there that their conduct was likely to cause a disturbance of the peace, if not a full riot." They came to town with shields, hats reinforced with hard plastic inserts, knee pads, shin guards and gloves. They hid their faces with masks and put their phones in cell signal-blocking bags. They also came with a bullhorn through which their leader Thomas Rousseau would give a speech, the text of which was entered into evidence, that fits into Idaho's definition of fighting words and is therefore speech not protected by the First Amendment.

Here's the best part: Two of the defendants, both of Conroe, Texas, stated in testimony that when they got on the road to come to Coeur d'Alene, they didn't even know which state they were going to. Conroe is a suburb of Houston. According to Google Maps, the shortest route from Conroe to Coeur d'Alene is 2046 miles long.

July 20, 2023

The Affidavit in Support of Complaint in the MI fake elector case

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/23880299-fake-electors-affidavit

Here are the counts requested in this document:

Count 1: Conspiracy to commit forgery - 14 years
Count 2: Forgery (the document proclaiming Trump won the presidential race) - 14 years
Count 3: Forgery (the document proclaiming Pence won the VP race) - 14 years
Count 4: Conspiracy to commit uttering and publishing - 14 years
Count 5: Uttering and publishing - 14 years
Count 6: Conspiracy to commit election law, forgery - 5 years
Count 7: Election law, forgery (Trump form) - 5 years
Count 8: Election law, forgery (Pence form) - 5 years

Total potential sentence if all run consecutively: 85 years in prison. And I hope they get it all.

July 19, 2023

The Parable of the Talents, Donald Trump Edition

And so it came to pass that as King Donald prepared to journey to a far country called Leavenworth, he gathered his four children before him and delivered unto them his goods.

To Donald Jr. he gave five billion dollars, to Eric he gave two billion, to Ivanka he gave one billion and to Barron he gave ten thousand. When Barron asked about Tiffany, everyone broke out into a butchered version of the Disney song "We Don't Talk About Bruno," at least until Melania reminded them, "zey are Woke, dahlinks!"

Fifteen years later King Donald got out of prison and ordered his children to come and reckon with him.

Donald Jr. appeared first. "Father, about a week after you went away I decided to put the entire sum into a fantastic investment opportunity. It turned out to be a Ponzi scheme. Not only did I lose your five billion, I lost five billion of my own and was convicted of many financial crimes. The reason I asked you to delay this meeting until today was I just got out of prison myself."

Saith King Donald, "Well done, thy good and faithful son."

Next was Eric. "Father, I gave all the money to a man in Minnesota who makes pillows. He said he had important things to do with it. Those important things turned out to be paying off Dominion Election Systems after he lost his court case related to the 2020 election. I now live in a van down by the river."

Saith King Donald, "You make me proud, thy good and faithful son."

Ivanka then walked to the table. "I invested all my share into a fine skyscraper in San Francisco called Millennium Tower. Six months after I bought it, it tipped over. It slid down Market Street, demolished the Ferry Building and landed in San Francisco Bay. No one would sell me insurance because the building was seismically unsound. I have been sued for a trillion dollars and I lost the case. The only things I have to my name are one dress I bought at Goodwill, a pair of cheap shoes, and a tube of lipstick I paid two dollars for."

Saith King Donald, "You have done beautifully, thy good and faithful daughter."

Then came Barron. "Father, when you gave me next to nothing and you enriched my stepsiblings beyond imagination, I thought to myself, now what the hell am I going to do? I decided to buy a pizza for $45 and sit on a park bench overlooking the Hudson to contemplate my next move. So many people wanted to buy slices of it from me I wound up earning $45 in profit. I bought two more and they sold almost instantly. One thing led to another and now I own a pizza restaurant that generates $1 million in annual profit. I have a modest home in Brooklyn, drive a respectable car, have a pretty wife and two well-disciplined children, and have become a pillar of the community. Here's your $10,000 back, plus $20,000 in interest. Thank you for helping me get my start, Father."

King Donald was outraged. "How can you claim to be a Trump if you can't lose money properly? I was counting on being able to deduct that $10,000 from my taxes. Eric and Donald Jr., beat Barron senseless, take all that he has, and cast him into the East River. If you can't make business decisions like a Trump you are no son of mine!"

July 18, 2023

Why the Seattle Mariners shouldn't sign Shohei Ohtani

During the All-Star Game recently held in the Northwest's only ballpark, fans in the stands were chanting "Come to Seattle!" when Ohtani played.

Please understand that there are three very good reasons to bring Ohtani to T-Mobile Park: they are in desperate need of another bat, they really need another good SP, and the most "Japanese" MLB city is Seattle. After all, it was Seattle who inflicted Ichiro Suzuki on the single-season hits leaderboard. He would like Seattle, Seattle already loves him and they sure as hell need what he does on the field.

There's only one reason they SHOULDN'T sign him, and it's money.

The 2023 Seattle Mariners payroll is $91,218,812. The most expensive player on the Mariners' 2023 roster is Teoscar Hernandez, who earns $14 million. They only have four men on the team earning more than $10 million - Hernandez, Luis Castillo ($11,425,000), Eugenio Suarez ($11,285,714) and J.P. Crawford ($11,000,000). More than half the team is earning less than $1 million per year and two others are earning less than $2 million.

In the 2023 season the Los Angeles Angels are paying Ohtani $30 million. Simply stated, the Mariners can't afford Ohtani.

July 17, 2023

Who is the Florida GOP planning to replace DeSantis with?

Florida term-limits its governors, and DeSantis is on his last term.

It goes without saying the Florida GOP wants to replace him with someone at least as destructive to carry on his legacy. Do they already have someone waiting in the wings, or will they have to dig up someone new from the Fifth Circle of Hell to take the job?

July 11, 2023

Just so you know, the latest Woke target is the Barbie movie

They're pissed off at the whole thing, and that the "Doctor Barbie" is played by transgender actor Hari Nef.

So...I guess I'm gonna have to go see it.

July 11, 2023

I have made a command decision where I want Trump's remains to go

I want him:

cremated
his ashes mixed with 240 pounds of bagged concrete mix and the proper amount of water
the concrete to be cast into a block
the block coated with a waterproof substance
and then it will be dropped into a septic tank in an undisclosed location.

July 10, 2023

Larry Nassar stabbed "multiple times" in prison

https://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id/37989188/report-larry-nassar-stabbed-multiple-s-federal-prison



Nassar was a sports doctor. In 2017, he got 60 years in prison on child pornography charges. In 2018 he was resentenced twice: first to an additional 40-to-175 years for sexually assaulting gymnasts, then to an additional 40-to-125 years for three counts of sexual assault that weren't in the first bundle of sexual assault charges.

He was first sent to an Arizona prison, where he was attacked shortly after being placed in general population. This got him sent to USP Coleman II, where he was attacked on Sunday, July 9, 2023. This will get him sent to another prison - probably ADX Florence because they can't convince prisoners anywhere not to try to kill him.

His first victim, Sarah Klein, is quoted as saying "I absolutely do not support violence because it's morally wrong and death would be an easy out for Nassar."

The first woman to accuse him, Rachael Denhollander, is quoted as saying, "None of the women I've spoken with are rejoicing today. We're grieving the destruction across so much. We're grieving the reality that protecting others from him came with the near-certainty we would wake up to this someday."

July 9, 2023

Madison Mallards collegiate summer baseball game postponed after umpire dies in auto accident

https://www.wkow.com/news/northwoods-league-umpire-killed-in-car-crash-on-way-to-mallards-game/article_5b12556e-1e93-11ee-a0e6-139cf031696d.html

This is very sad.

The Madison Mallards are a collegiate summer league baseball team based in Madison, WI. On Sunday, July 9, three umpires including Conor McKenzie were traveling to Madison to officiate the game when their car got in a wreck. McKenzie died and the other two are reported in stable condition.

The game has been rescheduled to August 1. During their July 10 game against the Wausaw Woodchucks a moment of silence will honor McKenzie.

No further information is available.