jmowreader
jmowreader's JournalI'm thinking a bit about the infamous "Kid Rock Apache Flyover"
By now you know the story: on Saturday, March 29, two AH-64 Apache attack helicopters assigned to 1st Battalion, 101st Aviation Regiment (the 101st Airborne's Apache battalion) hovered over the Nashville palace of one Robert "Kid Rock" Ritchie. In response, the Army initially grounded the four aviators involved. On Tuesday, March 31, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced that the four aviators would not be punished or investigated.
I've seen the video. Kid Rock looks AWFULLY happy to have these birds over his back yard. He's known to be a supporter of the 101st Aviation Regiment, and the hovering just happened to be at a time when Kid Rock and someone standing behind him with a video camera were prepared to run out to the back porch and stand next to Kid Rock's Statue of Liberty replica while he raised his fist in support. One of the excuses I've heard is "well, maybe the crews wanted to see his Statue of Liberty." Don't buy that for a second; this place is big enough and he likes the Army enough that he's probably had at least one pool party for them at his house.
Dude, this shit looks prearranged to me, and when people started asking questions the 1-101 responded by grounding the crews involved to shift blame to them. Strangely enough, if this is true Kegbreath made a good decision for once.
I ventured into the cesspool that's Trump's antisocial media site
And I found this:
Birthright Citizenship has to do with the babies of slaves, not Chinese Billionaires who have 56 kids, all of whom “become” American Citizens. One of the many Great Scams of our time!
Dude, one of the rackets Trump was running before he decided to run for president was a "birth tourism" scheme for Russians out of one of his Florida hotels.
"What would happen if Trump was kidnapped by an enemy of the United States?"
I got an alert in my email yesterday that said someone upvoted a Quora answer I made a couple years ago. You might enjoy it.
https://www.quora.com/What-would-happen-if-former-President-Trump-was-kidnapped-and-arrested-by-a-nation-enemy-of-the-United-States-Would-the-White-House-do-anything-Would-it-be-a-problem-for-National-Security/answer/Jim-Mowreader?__nsrc__=4&__snid3__=96746812463&comment_id=506518569&comment_type=2
"What would happen if former President Trump was kidnapped and arrested by a nation enemy of the United States? Would the White House do anything? Would it be a problem for National Security?"
I answered:
Day 1:
“Hello, this is the president of Berzerkistan. We have your former President Trump. He is alive and unharmed. If you ever want to see him alive again, deliver One Million Ounces of Gold to the Prime Minister of Vietnam. After the gold is safely in our hands, we will return Former President Trump to you.”
“Hello, this is President Joe Biden. It is the policy of the United States never to negotiate with terrorists. We will not pay a million ounces of gold to get Donald Trump back.”
Day 3:
“Hello President Biden? This is still the president of Berzerkistan. Your Former President Trump is truly a pain in the ass, but we still have the upper hand by retaining him here. As a gesture of goodwill, we now demand One Thousand Ounces of Gold for his safe return.”
“Good morning, President of Berzerkistan. We still don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
Day 5:
“Hello President Biden? Look, we’ll give the motherfucker back for free. What do you say?”
“Nope. We still don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
Day 7:
“President Biden, I know that you are a good humanitarian man. My entire army has defected so they don’t have to watch Trump. What would it take for us to be rid of this worthless piece of shit?”
“Look pal, you took him. He’s yours.”
Day 9:
“I beg of you, President Biden. PLEASE come get this bastard. The little prick has started holding MAGA rallies in the town square. Only five people in the entire country speak English so no one knows what the hell he is saying, but we’re quickly running out of eggs and tomatoes.”
“Nope. We don’t care what happens to him as long as it’s in your country. Deal with the mess you made yourself.”
Day 11:
“Look asshole, I gave you guys plenty of chances to take this worthless fuck. Now you’re going to pay the penalty.”
“You and whose army? Remember, yours all left the country in the middle of the night thanks to you taking Trump for yourself.”
Day 13:
A very large box arrives at the FedEx terminal in Baltimore, MD. It is addressed to President Biden. When opened, Trump is in there. He was shipped with fifty pounds of whatever passes for a Big Mac in Berzerkistan, and a 55-gallon drum of Diet Coke. President Biden, with a flourish, writes the sacred inscription “return to sender” on the box and puts it back on the plane himself.
Day 15:
The president of Berzerkistan files charges against President Biden in the International Criminal Court, alleging that the return of Donald Trump to Berzerkistan violates the Laws of Land Warfare, nineteen different environmental laws and four laws banning crimes against humanity. President Biden relents and offers to pay return postage if they address the box “General Delivery, Point Barrow, Alaska.”
Breaking News: Trump's eulogy has been leaked!
Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears.
I have come to bury Trump, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interrèd with their bones.
So let it be with Trump.
The noble Brutus
Hath told you Trump was ambitious.
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Trump answered it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest
(For Brutus is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honorable men),
Come I to speak in Trump’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me,
But Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill.
Did this in Trump seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Trump hath wept;
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,
And sure he is an honorable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause.
What cause withholds you, then, to mourn for him?
O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason!—Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Trump,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
Spurious News: West Coast governors declare Wednesday "No Pranks Day"!
OLYMPIA, WASH (Spurious News Network) -- April 1 is widely celebrated as "April Fools Day." No one's quite certain how the tradition started, but harmless pranks have long been the order of the day.
In the states of Washington, Oregon, California, Alaska and Hawaii, things are different this year.
"The Democratic governors of our five most western states view with alarm the actions of our president and his staff," said Washington governor Bob Ferguson, a Democrat. "It's like pranks are not funny anymore because of the bad ones President Trump is pulling on a daily basis."
Oregon's governor Tina Kotek, also a Democrat, said, "Trump isn't pranking anyone. His disasters are done in all seriousness."
California governor Gavin Newsom, a Democrat, said, "I troll our president all the time. Every time I do, he gets worse. On the 27th of February I posted an AI-created picture of him trying to cut a hole in the fence at a sheep ranch, and the next day he bombed Iran. It never stops with him."
Dr. Josh Green, a Democrat serving as governor of Hawaii, said, "The Hawaiian people call Trump Ino Loa. That's not a compliment. It means 'horrible' in the Hawaiian language. We're terrified of him. Hawaii is more dependent on interstate commerce by sea than any other state because we can't grow enough food here to feed our people, and we don't know if or when Trump will cut us off and leave us to starve."
Mike Dunleavy, Alaska's governor and the only Republican in the group, said, "Alaska is nearly as dependent on ocean commerce as Hawaii is. We raise cattle and poultry plus there's an amazing fishery industry, but we're very dependent on the Lower 48 for everything else - and Trump's actions directly threaten us. There is a road connecting Washington State to Alaska, the Alaska Highway, but it's over 2000 miles from the Peace Arch on the US-Canadian border to the Fairbanks area in Alaska. If you shipped freight by truck over this road it would easily be twice as expensive as using a ship, and prices are already too high here."
"So," said Governor Kotek, "the five of us got together and decided to ask our residents to not play pranks on each other on April Fool's Day. Right now, they're nothing but hurtful. We're celebrating No Pranks Day as a way of showing the world we aren't going to stoop to Trump's level."
Hollywood legend James Tolkan dies at 94
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/james-tolkan-dead-back-to-the-future-top-gun-1236549260/James Tolkan was first call If your show absolutely needed a crotchety old asshole in the company. Among his roles were Principal Strickland in "Back to the Future" and the Carrier Air Group commander in "Top Gun" who promised to ship Maverick off to fly cargo planes full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong if he blew it at Miramar.
Spurious News: Trump announces "Long Walk" for green cards!
PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- "Some people say we need illegal aliens in America," said King Donald Trump from the Southern White House, his name for the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach. "No we don't. But to make the whiny woke liberals happy, we have a plan to let some illegal aliens earn their green cards."
The plan is very simple. "We are going to take one hundred illegal aliens and 500 ICE officers to Maine and place them at the Canadian border on US 2," said King Donald. "The illegal aliens will start walking at four miles per hour. Any of them who stop walking, slow down too much or leave the road will be shot by ICE. The last one left alive will receive his green card."
Stephen King and Lionsgate Pictures immediately filed a lawsuit in US District Court to stop Trump's plan. "I published that book in 1979," said Mr. King. "Trump's plan is taken directly from my novel The Long Walk. We're not talking about any 'inspired by' crap - it's word for word right down to the road the Walk was held on, except that the winner in my novel got a much better prize - anything he wants for the rest of his life." Jon Feltheimer, CEO of Lionsgate Pictures, the movie studio who adapted Mr. King's novel into a profitable motion picture, said, "We're very protective of our intellectual property rights. While Mr. Trump may believe no one has any rights, I assure you that's not the case."
The White House responded thusly: "President Trump created this plan in his great mind. Do you think he reads books?"
Spurious News: National Industries for the Blind makes "Trump" medallions that depict Biden!
ALEXANDRIA, VA (Spurious News Network) -- The National Industries for the Blind (NIB) is one of the greatest government successes you've never heard of.
"You have heard of us," said Aneta Zawila-Jordan, vice president of marketing and communications. "If you've gone to the post office, which all of us have, you've used a fine Skilcraft pen. That's one of the things we make, but it's far from the only thing. When I first started working here I asked President (Soraya) Correa what we made. After about three hours of her naming products I stopped her and asked, 'so, we make everything and blind people make it all?' She said that was about right."
The Trump administration recently ordered four million medallions with Trump's face on them for presentation to every member of America's armed forces. They didn't come out quite the way he envisioned them.
According to Susan Hollowell, the designer of the medallion, "these are embarrassing. They're a foot and a half in diameter, gold plated and suspended on a red, white and blue neck ribbon. Pro wrestlers wouldn't wear them. He wanted his presidency number on them. As you know, he is the 45th and 47th presidents. Only two digits would fit on the medallion so I averaged them to 46...which is President Joe Biden's number. I decided to put President Biden on them instead."
The military loves the new medallions. "We all liked President Biden," said Major General John Lubas, commanding general of the 3d Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga. "He's a Gold Star father who stopped our troops from dying in Afghanistan. This other guy, we don't like all that much."
The NIB employee who makes the medals, John Fredrickson, offered another explanation for the visage change. "I've been completely blind since birth and not even I want to stand there and look at Trump's face four million times."
Spurious News: American Psychiatric Association: "Impeach Trump Now"
WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- "Our new Make America Sane Again initiative will return calm to the American people, and the rest of the world," said Theresa M. Miskimen Rivera, MD, president of the American Psychiatric Association (APA), at a press conference at APA Headquarters in the nation's capital. "It is workable, affordable and, really, the best thing for all of us."
Dr. Rivera described how the MASA program will work.
"In the psychiatric field, we've learned that one of the easiest ways to return an individual to a state of mental health is to remove the biggest stressors in his or her life. Right now, the biggest stressor the American people have is their president. As they say in the South, that boy ain't quite right. So, the first thing we must do is remove him from office. There are two ways to do it.
"The first is under the provisions of the Constitution's 25th Amendment. We don't believe that'll work because the Cabinet has to vote to remove him, and the Cabinet is currently comprised of Donald Trump's 23 biggest cheerleaders.
"The other way is impeachment. He's committed so many felonies just since January 20, 2025, that finding five or six that'll stick shouldn't be a problem. And with gas as expensive as it is, food as expensive as it is, and 535 Congress members being highly dependent on not having a pissed-off electorate so they can keep their jobs, we believe they'll find what they need."
After the president is gone, what then? "Impeach the entire rest of the Administration and stick Michael Grinston in there until there can be another election. Retired Sergeant Major of the Army Grinston is a smart, caring individual who has a lot of respect in Congress and among both Republican and Democratic voters. He'll do a good job until the next election. The Founding Fathers didn't put anything like this in the Constitution, but the Founding Fathers would have put Trump in a pillory and let people throw rotten tomatoes at his head for half the crap he's pulled. They sure didn't think anyone like him would ever be president."
Here's what I don't get about this TSA shutdown
Why, pray tell, haven't the Republicans - the party that would completely privatize the Marine Corps if they thought they could get away with it - suggested privatizing TSA? Before 9/11 happened airport security was in fact privatized; it wouldn't be all that hard to reprivatize it. Just find someone who will buy the TSA offices at the various airports and let them run it.
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