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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 93,555

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Real Life Seinfeld: Iowa Man Fired For Smashing Vending Machine Over Stuck Twix Bar

It’s a familiar tableau: an overpriced vending-machine candy bar dangles on a spiral hook, tantalizingly out of reach and refusing to drop.

For most of us, that mini-drama usually ends in defeat. But not for Robert McKevitt of Spirit Lake, whose victory over an uncooperative vending machine ultimately cost him his job.

McKevitt was working the second shift at Polaris Industries’ warehouse in Milford when he decided to break for a snack last fall.

He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair.

“I was, like, ‘Oh, man,’ ” said McKevitt, 27. “So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn’t do anything.”


Dumb Criminals: Two Drunk Guys Thrown Out Of Chicago's Trump Hotel Bar Cause $700K In Damages

COOK COUNTY CRIMINAL COURTHOUSE — Two men who were refused service at Trump Tower's fancy 16th-floor bar Saturday are accused of turning on a water valve in the high-rise's stairwell, flooding two elevator shafts and causing more than $700,000 in damage, prosecutors said.

Prosecutors alleged in court Tuesday that the men already had been drinking before they showed up at Trump's bar around 6 p.m. Saturday. After being served one round, the men were turned away because they seemed to be intoxicated, prosecutors said.

The two — Carl Koenemann and Benjamin Nitch, both 25, — are accused of then going into a Trump stairwell and opening up a water valve meant for fire protection. The water gushed out at 250 gallons a minute and flooded two elevator shafts, prosecutors said.


Dumb Criminals: Would Be Burglar Foiled By Pants Ripping

DALLAS (AP) — Authorities say a teenager who burglarized a Dallas police officer's apartment, taking his service weapon and ammunition, was apprehended after he lost his wallet as he fled.

Police reports say two witnesses chased 18-year-old Adrian Jimmerson when he was seen Feb. 13 carrying a pillowcase full of items. The suspect dropped the pillowcase as he jumped a fence, but his pants ripped and his wallet fell to the ground. A school identification card also was found. Jimmerson was arrested the next day.

He was being held Tuesday at the Dallas County jail on a charge of burglary of a habitation, with a bond of $10,000. A phone message left with his public defender, Frank Douglas, was not immediately returned.


Utah Mom Upset Over "Indecent Shirts" Buys Every Single One

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A mother upset about "indecent" T-shirts on display at a Utah mall found a quick if not especially convenient way to remove them: She bought every last one.

Judy Cox and her 18-year-old son were shopping Saturday at the University Mall in Orem, about 40 miles south of Salt Lake City, when she saw the shirts in the window of a PacSun store.

The shirts featured pictures of scantily dressed models in provocative poses.

Cox said she complained about the window display to a store manager and was told the T-shirts couldn't be taken down without approval from the corporate office. She then bought all 19 T-shirts in stock, for a total of $567. She says she plans to return them later, toward the end of the chain store's 60-day return period.

The shirts cost about $28 each on the website for PacSun, which sells beach clothes for teenagers and young adults.


Idiot, doesn't she know the store doesn't care? They just get the profit and look the other way.

Dumb Criminals: Seattle Man On LSD Claims To Be Jack Bauer During Break In


A North Seattle couple found a mess in their apartment and police say their suspect believed he was Jack Bauer from the television show "24" when he broke in.

David Stolte, 30, was arrested and charged with residential burglary.

Derek Doerschel and his fiancee Danielle Green came home last Sunday to their door ajar.

Doerschel told KIRO 7 he found screens off their windows, kitty litter in the sink, food strewn all over the kitchen, a frozen pie in the oven, and a frozen crab in the closet.

"The crab from the freezer was just sitting right here on the blanket on the bike," he said.


LA Times: Gay Marriage Proponents Hopeful Issue Will Head Back To SCOTUS.

WASHINGTON — The legal campaign for marriage equality is picking up speed, moving at a pace that has surprised even longtime advocates and increasing the likelihood of a definitive Supreme Court test as early as next year.

Efforts by some lawyers to plan a careful strategy for which cases to push forward to the high court have largely been put aside amid a rush of lower-court rulings striking down bans on same-sex marriage. The most recent came Thursday in Virginia, the first such ruling in the South.

"I don't think there is any way to predict" which case will arrive at the Supreme Court first, lawyer David Boies said Friday following the Virginia ruling.


Hopefully we'll see a federal marriage ban overturn in the decade! The times they ate a changing!

George Zimmerman Claims To Be Homeless And Suffering From PTSD

George Zimmerman, the 30-year-old Floridian acquitted last year of murdering Trayvon Martin, says he's homeless, jobless and struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Zimmerman made these comments in an interview with Spanish-language television network Univision that's scheduled to air at 7 p.m. Sunday, a week and a half before the second anniversary of the shooting. An English-language translation of the interview was released Saturday.

Zimmerman was the neighborhood watch volunteer who encountered the unarmed 17-year-old at a gated community in Sanford, Fla. Zimmerman said he suspected that Martin might have been the burglar responsible for a string of break-ins. Amid a confrontation, Zimmerman shot the teenager, later saying he did so in self-defense.

“In my mind and between God and me, I know that if I didn’t act, act the way I did, I wouldn’t be here,” he says in the Univision interview.


GM To Oversee Restoration Of Corvettes Swallowed By Sinkhole

General Motors' specialty shop in design charged with handling the project.

After 24 hours of uncertainty about the fate of the eight Corvettes swallowed up by a sinkhole under the National Corvette Museum, Chevrolet announced it will oversee the restoration of the vehicles.

Once the vehicles are retrieved from the hole, they will travel to Warren, Mich., where General Motors Design will take charge of the project. Ed Welburn, vice president of GM Global Design, will oversee the restoration.

"The vehicles at the National Corvette Museum are some of the most significant in automotive history," said Mark Reuss, executive vice president of General Motors Global Product Development. "There can only be one 1-millionth Corvette ever built. We want to ensure as many of the damaged cars are restored as possible so fans from around the world can enjoy them when the Museum reopens."


Cool for GM!

Scientists Remove 8' Mammoth Tusk From Seattle Construction Site (video at link)

(CNN) -- Seattle paleontologists Friday safely removed the largest fossilized mammoth tusk discovered in the region from a construction site, according to the Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture.

The fossil is probably a tusk from a Columbian mammoth, or Mammuthus columbi, which was designated the Washington state fossil in 1998, according to a statement on the museum website.

The tusk, 8 feet 6 inches long, appears to be the most intact and largest discovered in Seattle.

The fossil was found Tuesday about 7 feet below an AMLI Residential Partners apartment development site, the statement said.

Burke paleontologists estimate that the tusk is at least 16,000 years old, but could be up to 60,000 years old. Carbon dating would provide a definitive age.


60,000 years old!

Portland University Students Lose Control Of Giant Snowball That Crashes Into Dorm

From the "Straight Out Of Wiley Coyote" Department:

The students began making the snowball last week during a rare snowstorm in Portland, Ore.

Nobody weighed it, but college spokesman Kevin Myers says it was estimated to weigh 800 pounds or more.

The students responsible for the runaway snowball reported the incident and have not been disciplined. Myers says they didn't intend to cause damage and feel awful about what happened.

A maintenance manager told Reed Magazine it will cost several thousand dollars to repair the building.


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