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Initech's Journal
Initech's Journal
December 1, 2015

Dumb Criminals: PA Man Takes Ambulance For Joyride, Stranding EMT Personnel And Patients

The call for a breathing problem early Friday morning in York City was a pretty standard one for the EMT and paramedic who dealt with it until they brought their patient outside and realized their ambulance was gone.

Someone had stolen it when no one was looking — or, at least, no one besides the in-vehicle camera and a vehicle tracking device. The latter led to a quick recovery of the ambulance, and the former showed a cheerful young man apparently quite pleased with his exploits.

"He seemed to be having a good time," said Jim Arvin, the president and CEO of White Rose Ambulance, the York City company that owned the vehicle. "He seemed excited."


November 20, 2015

Dumb Criminals: After Missing Child's Birth, Utah Man Calls Bomb Threat Into Hospital

No it's not that state!

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah man accused of calling in a hospital bomb threat because he was upset he couldn't attend his child's birth is being charged in federal court.

Michael Morlang was indicted Wednesday and faces up to 10 years if convicted, the U.S. Attorney's Office in Utah said in a news release.

The threat led to an evacuation and lockdown on Sept. 17 at a hospital in the small central Utah city of Richfield.

His wife and her father told investigators the day of the incident that Morlang made the bomb threat because he was angry about not being there for the birth, show court documents from state charges filed earlier this year.

The woman's father also told investigators that Morlang was upset because he heard his wife was going to have a procedure to prevent having more pregnancies.

A nurse told police she spoke with Morlang, and that he was "extremely upset that they were going forward with the birth" while he was still in Idaho.

November 20, 2015

Josh Homme Will Support Victims Of Paris Attacks Through Charity

Source: MSN

Josh Homme of Eagles of Death Metal -- the band playing at Le Bataclan in Paris when Nov. 13's terrorist attacks occurred -- is seeking donations through his Sweet Stuff Foundation to benefit victims. While Homme was not performing with the band at the time of the attacks, his charity will give all donations made through the end of the year to families of survivors.

"Thank you for a moment to pause. Now time to help," the organization wrote on Twitter Tuesday.

While the band remained safe, their merch manager Nick Alexander was one of 89 people killed at Le Bataclan last week.

Following the attacks, the California rockers, issued a statement sharing their horror at the event and thanking the forces who assisted in recovery. "Although bonded in grief with the victims, the fans, the families, the citizens of Paris, and all those affected by terrorism, we are proud to stand together, with our new family, now united by a common goal of love and compassion," the group said.

Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/josh-homme-will-support-victims-of-paris-attacks-through-his-charity/ar-BBnfpj5?ocid=spartandhp

November 16, 2015

Gwyenth Paltrow's Insane Holiday Gift Guide Includes $950 Toilet Paper and $90,000 Space Flight

Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website Goop has just released its holiday gift guide, and this year, it seemed surprisingly tame… at first.

With sections like For the Dudes and For the Entertainer, Paltrow and her team came up with a solid list of gifts. Sure there was a $US260 corset unitard, a $US1,000 silverware storage container, and $US330 crystal fireplace logs. But Paltrow also had some more practical gift ideas this year and even included a section for under $US50 gifts for offices parties.

But before you get disappointed, Paltrow knows what the public truly wants from her: laughably insane and expensive gift ideas. She delivered with her last guide for Ridiculous (and Awesome) Gifts.

From 18-karat gold dumbbells to something called a Darwin Tank for over $US1,600, keep scrolling to see what Paltrow says you should get the person who has everything — in other words, herself.


Talk about "more money than brains".
November 14, 2015

Deftones Members Safe After Paris Attack

According to the L.A. Times, three members of the band and crew were attending the Eagles of Death Metal concert on Friday night, but left Bataclan 15 minutes before the terrorist attack began. Aaron Harris, who is drumming with the group, said that everything seemed normal at the show, but when he returned to his hotel after the concert, employees quickly brought him inside.

Deftones were scheduled to perform at Le Bataclan for three straight nights beginning on Saturday (Nov. 14). The members of Eagles of Death Metal escaped the terrorist attack, which reportedly claimed the lives of at least 35 people inside the venue.

French President François Hollande has declared a state of emergency for the city, and France's borders have been closed. Multiple terrorist attacks occurred in Paris on Friday night, including at a soccer stadium, although the Bataclan attack has the highest death toll.


November 4, 2015

Houston Equal Ordinance Measure (AKA Trans Rights Bill) Fails

Houston's controversial equal rights ordinance failed by a wide margin Tuesday, with voters opting to repeal the law that offered broad non-discrimination protections, according to incomplete and unofficial returns.

The hotly contested election has spurred national attention, drawing comment from the White House and the state's top officials. Largely conservative opponents of the law allege that it would allow men dressed as women, including sexual predators, to enter women's restrooms. Supporters of the law, including Mayor Annise Parker, argue that it extends an important local recourse for a range of protected classes to respond to discrimination.

Supporters released a written statement Tuesday night: "We are disappointed with today's outcome, but our work to secure nondiscrimination protections for all hard-working Houstonians will continue. No one should have to live with the specter of discrimination hanging over them. Everyone should have the freedom to work hard, earn a decent living and provide for themselves and their families."

The ordinance bans discrimination based not just on gender identity and sexual orientation, but also 13 classes already protected under federal law: sex, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, religion, disability, pregnancy and genetic information, as well as family, marital or military status.


Fucking ignorant assholes. No seriously, the picture in that article explains volumes about why it failed.
November 2, 2015

Dumb Criminals: Chewbacca Arrested Campaigning For Darth Vader In Ukraine

Here's what happens when you turn to the Dark Side.

In one of the most surreal election scenes anywhere in the galaxy, "Chewbacca" was arrested in the Ukraine on Sunday while campaigning for Darth Vader.

The person dressed as the legendary Wookie was reportedly accused of violating a law that forbids campaigning on election day.

Chewbacca even appeared in court, looking just a little worse for the wear:


In the Ukraine it's apparently illegal to campaign on election day, which makes this a dumb criminal, but still this ranks about a 9.8 out of 10 on my WTF-O-Meter.

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