HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Initech » Journal
Page: 1 2 Next »


Profile Information

Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 98,566

Journal Archives

Bill Maher Presents: The 2016 Billionaire Buyer's Guide To The GOP

Josh Duggar Used "Random Guy" For OK Cupid Profile, Random Guy Plans Suit

The “random guy” whose image the embattled Josh Duggar used on his alleged OkCupid account is “considering his legal options” and says Duggar’s use of his photo is causing him problems.

On Wednesday, Gawker revealed that Duggar, an anti-LGBT activist and former director of the Family Research Council had two paid accounts with Ashley Madison, a website dedicated to helping people cheat on their spouses.

Twitter users googled his Ashley Madison handle, “joesmithsonnwa@gmail.com,” and found an OkCupid profile using the same email address.

But the profile picture on the dating website is not of Duggar. It’s reportedly Matthew McCarthy, a Hollywood-based DJ and bartender. McCarthy’s image is the third one pulled up on Google with the search term “random guy.”


I don't know what is sadder - the fact that Josh is a serial cheater or that he's not creative enough to come up with his own image to use in an online dating profile so he has to Google "random guy"? You can't make this shit up sometimes!

Dumb Criminals: DUI Suspect Makes 10 Year Old Designated Driver (No, Not That State)

STILLWATER — Town police said a Saratoga Springs man had his 10-year-old drive his pick-up truck while he was sitting drunk in the passenger seat.

Stillwater police said they were contacted by someone on Saturday who saw a young child driving a truck on Route 9P. The truck pulled over for police, and it was found that a 10-year-old was driving while his father, John H. Barling, 46, was allegedly intoxicated in the passenger seat. The child was picked up by a family member, and Barling was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, and permitting unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, a traffic infraction.


Dumb Criminals: Man Arrested Digging Up Father's Grave To Argue With Corpse

STANFORD, Ky. (WKYT) - A Lincoln County man is in jail after deputies say he was caught trying to dig up a grave.

Michael May, 44, was arrested on Monday, after a Constable saw someone digging up a grave at Pilot Baptist Church in Stanford.

Deputies say the man had been digging up a grave of one of his family members.

May has been charged with violating graves, possession of marijuana and public intoxication.


John Oliver Exposes Prosperity Gospel Hypocrisy And Establishes His Own Tax Free Church

Dumb Criminals: Woman Tried To Sneak Weed Into Jail In Bible

UNION – A Union County woman is accused of trying to pass marijuana cigarettes and some tobacco – hidden inside a Bible – to an inmate in jail.

Monika Marie Ryans, 24, is accused of furnishing a prisoner with alcohol or drugs by the Union County Sheriff’s Office. An incident report states Ryans brought a Bible to the Union County Jail Friday afternoon.

The jail supervisor called for a deputy after thinking the Bible may have contained contraband. The supervisor noted the Bible “didn’t look or feel right” according to the report and had it X-rayed.

The deputy opened the Bible and says he found three smoked marijuana cigarettes and loose tobacco in the binding. There was also a piece of white paper with the woman’s name on it.


Dumb Criminals: Minnesota Shoplifter Took $300 In Goods From Mall, Arrived In, and Left In Limo

A woman is accused of taking a limousine to a Rochester business, shoplifting from the store, then calling the limo for a ride back home.

The limo driver was instrumental in helping police find the woman, who allegedly fought with store security before running away with about $300 in headbands and miscellaneous clothing items, said Lt. Jim Evenson.

The case began about 7:15 p.m. Monday, when officers were called to Scheels All Sports sporting goods store, 1220 12th St. SW, for a report of a shoplifter.

As police searched the area for the 22-year-old, the limo driver stopped and asked who they were looking for. When he heard the description, he told officers it might be the woman who'd just called him for a ride back to downtown Rochester.

Law enforcement followed him to the pick-up spot and arrested the woman, Evenson said.


Dumb Criminals: Chicago Man Steals Vibrator, Signs Release Name As "Obama Is A Criminal"

A Chicago man caught with a stolen vibrator in his underwear told cops he had no idea how the device got there, before stripping naked in his cell and shouting derogatary comments about President Obama.

Christopher Hucko, 44, was nabbed waking out of a suburban Chicago sex shop with a $48 Euphoria G-Spot Delight vibrator hidden in his boxer shorts.

A store employee alerted police after seeing Hucko “put merchandise in his pants” and she had noticed “a large bulge” in the suspect’s trousers.

But when confronted by police and asked what he had stuffed down his pants, he told police: “My penis.”

Hucko then told Officer Antony Carone that he had a tattoo of a cherry on his penis and asked if he wanted to see it, reported The Smoking Gun.

A subsequent search of Hucko turned up the pink vibrator “under his boxers”.

After removing the stolen goods, Carone reported that, “I asked Christopher how that got there, to which he replied that he had no idea.”

Later, while in an Orland Park Police Department holding cell, Hucko “stripped completely naked” and refused to put his clothes back on, before subjecting cops “comments about his political views and derogatory comments about President Obama.”


Alabama's Solution To States' Bankruptcy Woes? Go Fund Me!

An Alabama state senator’s attempt to make a political point with the popular crowdfunding website GoFundMe went about as well as we all thought it would.

Paul Sanford (R-Montgomery) created the faux fundraising campaign to “prove a point that most people do not want to pay more taxes but are for taxes when the other guy is to be taxed.” However, most didn’t get the joke, and we can’t blame them since Sanford wasn’t necessarily upfront about the page’s true intentions.

When he created the page on August 6, Sanford had this to say about the GoFundMe page:

The State of Alabama is experiencing tight financial times and needs your help. Legislators are debating possible financial solutions but are finding that Raising Taxes are not wanted by the citizens of Alabama. Rather than have the Government come after your hard earned money you can now send an amount that fits your budget, even request where your money be used.

You can determine what functions of Government are a priority to you.

Hundreds of angry comments spurred dozens of responses from Sanford, who emphasized that the campaign wasn’t real and was intended to make a point about taxes. Yet with a goal of $300 million, the page has raised just under $600 from a total of 38 individual donors so far.

“Please use this money to teach your public high school students how to safely wear and operate condoms.”

“Here is 10 bucks. If there was a lottery in this state that’s how much I would have spent today. Oh wait!! There is no lottery. Maybe instead of doing this, I should just mail to Tennessee!”

“From the Gay Confederate Flag Burning Society of Alabama! Please earmark for rainbow flags atop all government buildings.”

“Please use this money for cab fare to your local library and check out any economics text book by Friedrich Hayek.”

“My wonderful father lives in Alabama and I’m donating because I think it will bother him that I mentioned him in this comment.”


And for the kicker, this accurately states how much money $300,000,000 really is:

Today's Non Sequitur

Go to Page: 1 2 Next »