Initech
Initech's JournalTop 10 Conservative Idiots #1: GOP WTF Edition
Ed note: It's been two years since one of these appeared and I figured I would take a stab at it, however I lack most of the formatting tools that the TTCI usually has. However I tried to keep it as close to the real thing as possible.GOP WTF Edition
It's been exactly two weeks since the horrific attacks at the Eagles of Death Metal concert at the Bataclan in Paris that have had the world searching for answers. As if that weren't bad enough, a man by the name of Robert Lewis Dear went and shot up a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs, CO, and, *LAST MINUTE BREAKING NEWS*, another mass shooting happened in San Bernardino, CA. And if you're looking for answers, don't look to the GOP. It's widely believed that Carly Fiorina (1) instigated the whole thing while Ted Cruz (2) sympathizes with radical right wing, violence advocating abortion nuts, and Donald Trump (3) goes full Nazi. And what does republican front runner Ben Carson (4) offer to help the situation? He is saying "both sides are guilty" of hateful rhetoric, but let's play a game here and see just who is. And then we have a newcomer to the TTCI - Youtube star among the evangelical community Joshua Feuerstein (5) who not only has been instigating violence on his Youtube Channel, doubled down on the hate and attacks against Planned Parenthood. He also covered his ass on these hateful comments. Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant (7) thinks that Obama letting Syrian refugees into the US has an anti-religious message (it doesn't). . If you need a break from the madness and need a laugh, the republicans are getting into some sexy time with Ted Cruz (6) spilling way too much information about his "wild" college years. And from the crazy preacher corner Kevin Swanson (8) offers his "condolences" to the victims of the terror attacks in Paris and specifically the horror that went down at the Bataclan. Jim Bob Duggar (9), yes, of that Duggar family, is back with some sound parenting advice. To round off this edition, Televangelist and disgraced crook Jim Bakker (10) is back and blaming his victims. Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!
[font size="12"]Carly Fiorina[/font]
If you're puzzled by the attacks at the Planned Parenthood facility in Colorado as much as we are, Carly Fiorina definitely isn't the one to look to for answers or sympathy. My definition of today's modern GOP is that they have a glorious lack of empathy. And while evil, their intentions are not the best and clearly misguided. Enter Carly Fiornia, disgraced HP CEO and current disgraced GOP candidate. This is Carly before the shooting:
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/426725/carly-fiorina-the-view-planned-parenthood"
After the shooting:
"Secondly, this is so typical of the left to immediately begin demonizing the messenger, because they dont agree with the message. The vast majority of Americans agree, what Planned Parenthood is doing is wrong. Thats why the vast majority of Americans are prepared not only to defund Planned Parenthood, but also to stop abortion for any reason at all after five months.
http://reverbpress.com/politics/carly-fiorina-planned-parenthood-lies/
Shoot the messenger? Extremely poor choice of words there, Carly.
[font size="12"]Ted Cruz and Troy Newman[/font]
But the insanity didn't stop there. Not even 8 days before the terror attacks happened, Ted Cruz gratefully accepted an endorsement from extreme far right author and anti-abortion activist Troy Newman. Who is Troy Newman? Why he's the author of a book calling for execution of Planned Parenthood personnel. Newman has since denounced the terror attacks in Colorado, but the damage has been done. Right Wing Watch says:
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/ted-cruz-hailed-activist-who-wants-abortion-providers-executed-eight-days-planned-parenthood#sthash.3AMjLqJQ.dpuf"
Yikes. And what was Ted Cruz's response in his receiving of the endorsement?
NEXT!!!!!!!!!!
[font size="12"]Donald Trump[/font]
Too bad there's no "Nazi sympathizer" icon because that's exactly what this needs. In the wake of the terror attacks in Colorado Springs and the Bataclan, Donald Trump not only doubled down on his comments to build a giant border fence along the US - Mexico border, he also doubled down on this threat to go full Nazi if he's elected to the highest office in the land:
"Well, I would hate to do it but it's something you're going to have to strongly consider," Trump said during an interview on MSNBC. "Some of the absolute hatred is coming from these areas...The hatred is incredible. It's embedded. The hatred is beyond belief. The hatred is greater than anybody understands."
http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/16/politics/donald-trump-paris-attacks-close-mosques/"
Why yes! Donald Trump would actually consider overriding the first amendment's guarantee of freedom of religion. But oh no, the Trumpster didn't stop there:
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/11/donald-trump-muslims-religious-liberty/416889/
Yup he's gone full Hitler there. And you never, ever go full Hitler. In fact Trump, these are the words I would like to tell right to your face:
[font size="12"]Ben Carson[/font]
Fans of the comedy "30 Rock" are well familiar with Tracy Jordan's "Governor Dunston" character. If only the creators of that amazing TV comedy had access to the bumbling, stumbling completely clueless brain surgeon that is Dr. Ben Carson, they would have had a field day coming up with new material. If you've seen that episode, life is scarily imitating art these days. In fact, most would say that he is Governor Dunston in a way. Right now in the wake of what happened in Colorado Springs, he first announced that "both sides" are guilty of offensive rhetoric. But who is really? Let's take a closer look:
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/ben-carson-both-sides-blame-abortion-rhetoric
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1017311784
[font size="12"]Joshua Feurstein[/font]
Who is Joshua Feurstein? He's an evangelist and Youtube star among the hate-mongering evangelical crowd. Why is he in the news? Well after last week's terror attack at the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood, his videos became viral for his unbelievably extremist points of view on the PP attack and those that provide abortions. But now he's accused of covering his ass in order to get away with posting those videos on Youtube. He's since taken down the videos but he is unaware that on the internet, there are no such things as take backs.
I tried to link directly to Feuersteins own video, but the chickenshit took it down. The clip is in this Cult of Dusty rant about Feuerstein, so despite Joshs efforts, his words will live forever...
To quote from the video:
Planned Parenthood has hunted down millions and millions of little innocent babies, stuck a knife into the uterus, cut them, pulled them out, crushed their skull with forceps, ripped their body apart, sold their tissue, and threw them bleeding into a trash bin."
http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2015/11/30/1455382/-Joshua-Feuerstein-is-another-stochastic-terrorist-inciting-violence-against-Planned-Parenthood
Yes he's openly advocating assassination of PP doctors, nurses, and personnel. After last week this guy needs a wakeup call from the FBI. That makes two known terrorist advocates. Shut 'em down.
[font size="12"]Ted Cruz[/font]
Warning: If you're doing anything that involves eating at the time you are reading this list, look away. Hit the scroll button or you might lose your lunch / breakfast / dinner.
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Well there you have it, in the era of "too much information", Ted Cruz revealed some details about his personal life, that most likely should have not been revealed. Those three words can stop anyone from saying something they'll later regret, but it certainly didn't stop Ted Cruz:
During a speech at a town hall in Iowa during which he meant, ostensibly, to debunk the war on women, the Texas senator and Republican presidential candidate took some time instead to connect the issue to the availability of condoms.
When the war on women came up, Republicans would curl up in a ball, theyd say dont hurt me! Jiminy Cricket! This is a made up, nonsense example. Last I checked, we dont have a rubber shortage in America. When I was in college we had a machine in the bathroom, you put 50 cents in and voilà!
http://gawker.com/ted-cruz-yearns-for-his-glory-days-in-college-when-con-1745368723?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow
Wow, no words except this:
[font size="12"]Phil Bryant[/font]
So apparently the Syrian refugee crisis is a religious issue, at least according to the governor of Mississippi. Once again appearing on lunatic fringe right wing program "Today's Issues", hosted by the American Family Association, Bryant apparently told the host that the Syrian refugee crisis is a religious issue (hint: it's not).
He appeared today on the American Family Radio show Todays Issues to highlight his opposition to refugees, citing a group of Syrians who turned themselves into U.S. authorities on the Mexican border as further proof that America is facing a serious threat from the refugees.
http://www.alan.com/2015/11/30/mississippi-governor-obama-attacked-our-faith-by-welcoming-refugees/#
[font size="12"]Kevin Swanson[/font]
Notorious hate church pastor Kevin Swanson recently hosted an event at his church where three GOP candidates including Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz attended. But that's not why he made the list this week. Kevin Swanson is not the source you should be turning to if you're seeking answers about what went down at the Bataclan during the Eagles Of Death Metal concert. If you're a music fan like I am and know the Eagles of Death Metal, you know that the band has nothing to do with the Eagles, or Death Metal. But these hate-filled pastors didn't seem to get the message.
So Kevin Swanson had this hate-filled diatribe at his church:
Oh really? So do you enjoy any music that's not religious? Any sort of rock or pop music has the same world views whether you like or not. He continues:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/11/20/right-wing-radio-host-victims-of-bataclan-terro/207012
So... rock concerts are worship services? And the devil is the one killing people you say? My question for you - and this is someone who has attended hundreds of concerts for all kinds of different genres of music - do you even know what you're angry about, Mr. Swanson? And you are aware that "This Is Spinal Tap" is a comedy movie, right?
[font size="12"]Jim Bob Duggar[/font]
Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your television again or go to any media outlet that doesn't mention the Gazillion Kids and Counting family, Jim Bob Duggar resurfaces and offers some very sound parenting advice and how people can learn from his mistakes. After the scandal that broke the family with Josh Duggar being outed as one of the biggest sex perverts in the modern era, Jim Bob is back with a Christian approach as to how to avoid raising a kid to be a sex addict:
Thats right, he thinks you should BAN all media sources from the home in an effort to protect your children from learning about sex. Jim Bob noted, Replace them with good things like wholesome music, biographies of great Christians, and play decent old-fashioned family games together."
http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/2015/jim-bob-duggar-open-letter-explains-how-not-to-produce-a-josh-duggar/
How about this for some sound parenting advice - don't raise so many children that you can't keep track of what they're all doing!!!!
[font size="12"]Jim Bakker[/font]
"Last Week Tonight With John Oliver" recently wrapped its second season. While we won't see anything until next February, this season had one of its' best episodes yet where John eviscerated the televangelist grifter community and skirted around IRS rules to establish his own church (if that's not Emmy material, what is? ). These people make money hand over fist by selling what's essentially an invisible product. Frank Zappa called them out back in the 80's on his awesome album "Broadway The Hard Way". Jim Bakker, one of the men frequently mentioned on that album, is back in the news.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/jim-bakker-blames-witches-televangelists-scandals#sthash.g3ziTQbZ.dpuf
Love it when the holier-than-thou crowd plays the persecution card. Funny Jim, the only guy I've seen attack your types lately is John Oliver. And he did a damn fine job of it too. Private jets in the name of Jesus? That's not the message from the Bible. Is John Oliver a man of God? I'll just leave this here.
See you next week!
Dumb Criminals: PA Man Takes Ambulance For Joyride, Stranding EMT Personnel And Patients
Someone had stolen it when no one was looking or, at least, no one besides the in-vehicle camera and a vehicle tracking device. The latter led to a quick recovery of the ambulance, and the former showed a cheerful young man apparently quite pleased with his exploits.
"He seemed to be having a good time," said Jim Arvin, the president and CEO of White Rose Ambulance, the York City company that owned the vehicle. "He seemed excited."
http://www.yorkdispatch.com/story/news/2015/11/28/police-york-city-man-stole-ambulance-few-minutes/76495058/
Dumb Criminals: After Missing Child's Birth, Utah Man Calls Bomb Threat Into Hospital
No it's not that state!
Michael Morlang was indicted Wednesday and faces up to 10 years if convicted, the U.S. Attorney's Office in Utah said in a news release.
The threat led to an evacuation and lockdown on Sept. 17 at a hospital in the small central Utah city of Richfield.
His wife and her father told investigators the day of the incident that Morlang made the bomb threat because he was angry about not being there for the birth, show court documents from state charges filed earlier this year.
The woman's father also told investigators that Morlang was upset because he heard his wife was going to have a procedure to prevent having more pregnancies.
A nurse told police she spoke with Morlang, and that he was "extremely upset that they were going forward with the birth" while he was still in Idaho.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/michael-morlang-upset-at-missing-childs-birth-calls-in-bomb-threat-police_564e41e0e4b0d4093a570014?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%2BNews§ion=weird-news
Josh Homme Will Support Victims Of Paris Attacks Through Charity
Source: MSN
Josh Homme of Eagles of Death Metal -- the band playing at Le Bataclan in Paris when Nov. 13's terrorist attacks occurred -- is seeking donations through his Sweet Stuff Foundation to benefit victims. While Homme was not performing with the band at the time of the attacks, his charity will give all donations made through the end of the year to families of survivors.
"Thank you for a moment to pause. Now time to help," the organization wrote on Twitter Tuesday.
While the band remained safe, their merch manager Nick Alexander was one of 89 people killed at Le Bataclan last week.
Following the attacks, the California rockers, issued a statement sharing their horror at the event and thanking the forces who assisted in recovery. "Although bonded in grief with the victims, the fans, the families, the citizens of Paris, and all those affected by terrorism, we are proud to stand together, with our new family, now united by a common goal of love and compassion," the group said.
Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/josh-homme-will-support-victims-of-paris-attacks-through-his-charity/ar-BBnfpj5?ocid=spartandhp
Gwyenth Paltrow's Insane Holiday Gift Guide Includes $950 Toilet Paper and $90,000 Space Flight
With sections like For the Dudes and For the Entertainer, Paltrow and her team came up with a solid list of gifts. Sure there was a $US260 corset unitard, a $US1,000 silverware storage container, and $US330 crystal fireplace logs. But Paltrow also had some more practical gift ideas this year and even included a section for under $US50 gifts for offices parties.
But before you get disappointed, Paltrow knows what the public truly wants from her: laughably insane and expensive gift ideas. She delivered with her last guide for Ridiculous (and Awesome) Gifts.
From 18-karat gold dumbbells to something called a Darwin Tank for over $US1,600, keep scrolling to see what Paltrow says you should get the person who has everything in other words, herself.
http://www.businessinsider.com.au/gwenyth-paltrow-expensive-goop-gift-guide-2015-11#/#lets-begin-with-this-1500-vintage-ball-and-chain-from-design-store-blackman-cruz-1
Talk about "more money than brains".
Deftones Members Safe After Paris Attack
Deftones were scheduled to perform at Le Bataclan for three straight nights beginning on Saturday (Nov. 14). The members of Eagles of Death Metal escaped the terrorist attack, which reportedly claimed the lives of at least 35 people inside the venue.
French President François Hollande has declared a state of emergency for the city, and France's borders have been closed. Multiple terrorist attacks occurred in Paris on Friday night, including at a soccer stadium, although the Bataclan attack has the highest death toll.
http://www.fuse.tv/2015/11/deftones-paris-terrorist-attack-15-minutes
Houston Equal Ordinance Measure (AKA Trans Rights Bill) Fails
The hotly contested election has spurred national attention, drawing comment from the White House and the state's top officials. Largely conservative opponents of the law allege that it would allow men dressed as women, including sexual predators, to enter women's restrooms. Supporters of the law, including Mayor Annise Parker, argue that it extends an important local recourse for a range of protected classes to respond to discrimination.
Supporters released a written statement Tuesday night: "We are disappointed with today's outcome, but our work to secure nondiscrimination protections for all hard-working Houstonians will continue. No one should have to live with the specter of discrimination hanging over them. Everyone should have the freedom to work hard, earn a decent living and provide for themselves and their families."
The ordinance bans discrimination based not just on gender identity and sexual orientation, but also 13 classes already protected under federal law: sex, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, religion, disability, pregnancy and genetic information, as well as family, marital or military status.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/houston-equal-rights-ordinance-fails-by-wide-margin/ar-BBmO0Fg?ocid=spartandhp
Fucking ignorant assholes. No seriously, the picture in that article explains volumes about why it failed.
Dumb Criminals: Chewbacca Arrested Campaigning For Darth Vader In Ukraine
In one of the most surreal election scenes anywhere in the galaxy, "Chewbacca" was arrested in the Ukraine on Sunday while campaigning for Darth Vader.
The person dressed as the legendary Wookie was reportedly accused of violating a law that forbids campaigning on election day.
Chewbacca even appeared in court, looking just a little worse for the wear:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chewbacca-arrested-ukraine_562d9d3ae4b0ec0a3894e00f
In the Ukraine it's apparently illegal to campaign on election day, which makes this a dumb criminal, but still this ranks about a 9.8 out of 10 on my WTF-O-Meter.
Denver Police: *ZERO* Cases Reported Of Pot Candy Distributed To Children
There's an overtly hysterical new ad campaign saying that because Denver has legalized pot, that children will be distributed pot candy as a result. The Denver Police have a different take:
Denver Police and the Rocky Mountain Poison and Drug Center reported no cases of people slipping marijuana to unsuspecting trick-or-treaters.
The popularity of pot candies in the new retail market in Colorado prompted warnings this fall from police in Denver, Fort Collins and Pueblo. They urged parents to be vigilant.
Greenwood Village Police Chief John Jackson says the educational campaign helped. His department in suburban Denver received no reports of children accidentally consuming the drug or parents finding it among their candy stashes.
Its just another area where we have to be really vigilant from now into the foreseeable future so we dont have a problem, Jackson said. Now, youre not just looking for razor blades anymore.
Joe Hodas, of marijuana edibles company Dixie Elixirs, said the warnings were overblown and ridiculous. Parents should scrutinize their kids Halloween candy but most people who use edibles are diligent about keeping them away from children, he said.
http://denver.cbslocal.com/2014/11/03/officials-say-no-problems-with-edibles-on-halloween/
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