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Initech's Journal
Initech's Journal
July 27, 2017

Foxconn In Wisconsin: Good News And Bad News

Foxconn Technology Group Chairman Terry Gou announced from the White House Wednesday that the company will spend $10 billion to create a Wisconsin plant that will create many display panels and jobs. That sounds great but represents both good news and bad news.

Let's start with the good news.

First, the deal will create thousands of jobs. Foxconn said it will create 3,000 jobs over four years with the potential for 10,000 more. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker more optimistically said it would create 13,000 jobs. So the number of jobs is uncertain, but even the conservative estimate means thousands of new jobs for Americans and that — especially in the beleaguered manufacturing sector — is a good thing.

Second, President Trump campaigned on reviving manufacturing in America and bringing jobs home from overseas, and Walker has campaigned on helping blue-collar workers. So the deal would clearly be a big win for both of them, and an even bigger win if Foxconn builds additional facilities in the U.S. and other companies follow their lead.


Second, as the Washington Post reported Tuesday, lawmakers and other concerned citizens in Wisconsin are concerned that the state may give away too much in incentives to attract Foxconn. Those concerns are heightened by the facts that Walker is up for re-election next year, has a low approval rating, and has run as a job-creator.

Third, it is uncertain whether the promised jobs will be stable and pay a living wage. As for job security, both the BBC and MarketWatch reported in May 2016 that Foxconn had replaced 60,000 of its workers with robots.


Foxconn is also known for a work environment so harsh it led to employee riots and suicides. The Fair Labor Association — a non-profit formed by Nike and others in 1999 after a series of sweatshop scandals — documented in 2012 major labor-rights violations at Foxconn facilities including excessive overtime and salaries that were too low to cover basic living expenses and sometimes not paid.


That last part is the most worry some.
July 26, 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-7: Wheel Of Corruption: Dead Mans Chest Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-7: Wheel Of Corruption: Dead Man’s Chest Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Be sure to come to our Fun In The Summertime sales event! 1.9% financing and special cash back deals are available! We are back everybody! Whew! And we're in our brand new time slot! I love music. This is a crazy time for music isn’t it? You’ve got Phish doing that epic 13 night Bakers’ Dozen at Madison Square Garden, and here in LA, we have Metallica *AND* Portugal The Man coming to town on the same night! But man that was a rough week last week wasn’t it? Especially with the suicide of Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. That sucked. Chester was a pretty good dude on all accounts and Linkin Park didn’t deserve nearly the amount of hate they got on their last couple of albums. So don’t be a hater. There’s already too many haters out there. We call them the “alt right”. But there’s a couple of musicians we can make fun of right now, right? For instance Justin Beiber got banned from China! Where Chester was a pretty good guy on all accounts, Justin Bieber is just plain awful on all accounts. Really, everything he says and does is worse than the thing he did before it. He's the Donald Trump of music. Man, why can’t we ban him here in the US too? I mean come on even Wheeler Walker Jr got banned in Australia for public indecency! The one time where you want Trump to go full dictator. “No, Justin Bieber is a good friend of mine, OK? He makes the best albums! And he gives Bill Clinton the finger!”. And now Beiber is claiming he's a son of god and is hanging out with Hillsong Church. Even hardcore Christians don't like Hillsong church. They think of them as the Scientology of Christianity - and even Hillsong is thinking that Beiber is their Tom Cruise. Really? That's who you go to? I just... really, this whole fucking week. I need to go take a vacation in an asylum. OK that’s enough of the intro this week. So normally here’s where I would show someone like Stephen Colbert or John Oliver here but instead we’re going to show some live Linkin Park music to honor the late, great Chester Bennington:

So where do we begin this week? Man there was a lot of idiocy happening. Taking the first 3 slots is of course Premier Trump. In the first slot – after the epic fail that was his healthcare plan, he is of course taking to Twitter to blast his critics and “drain the swamp” got upgraded to “drain the sewer”. In the second slot – Premier Trump (2). We’re going to introduce you to his latest hire for Communications Director, and whew, this guy is a gem. I’m of course talking about Anthony Scaramucci. Who may or may not be That Guy from the 80s episode of Futurama. In the third slot - is Premier Trump (3). In this slot I had something different planned but we got to talk about his Nazi, er, Boy Scout rally that turned into a shit storm this week. In slot #4 is Sean Spicer (4). So now that Spicy is gone, Taking the 5th slot we’ve got a brand new installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. And this week it’s a guy who we quite haven’t touched here yet but it’s about damn time. I’m of course talking about Donald Trump stage prop “Chris Christie”. How does this guy keep getting elected? At number 6 is Dana Rohrabacher (6). Seriously we’ve already covered him in “People Who Somehow Got Elected” but really – how does this guy keep getting elected? Taking the number 7 slot is the Alt Right (7), The NRA and other white supremacist hate mongerers like Jack Posobiec have been in the news quite a lot lately, and boy are they pissed off. At what, we still can’t figure out. At number 8, we have a new installment of “This Fucking Guy”. And this week’s “This Fucking Guy” is conservative commentator Wayne Allen Root (8). You may not know who he is, but he’s a republican pundit who has a long history of making creepy comments toward female journalists. And this week, whew. That was a gem. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) spot, we have another installment of “I Need A Drink”, and this week’s drink of choice? The screwdriver. Which of course is vodka and OJ, because OJ may or may not get paroled and either way we’re going to explore this topic further. Finally this week, we’re hitting the next leg of our Top 10 World Tour 2017. This time grab your poles and hit the slopes, we’re heading to the land of Vikings, death metal, and lutefisk. I’m of course talking about the country known as Norway! Plus we have some more live music for you – our guests are Ulver, one of Norway’s best progressive rock bands and they have an amazing new album out called “The Assassination Of Julius Caesar”. It’s an amazing album. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

The wheel is back everybody! And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. Yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:

- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Fundies Say The Darndest Things
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Voter Fraud
- Nazis
- Booze
- Chance
- Loser
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Treason
- Bathrooms
- Double Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Guns
- World Tour 2017
- Music
- Twitter
- Whammy
- I Need A Drink
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- Pirates
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Talk Shows
- California
- Golf
- Twitter
- Fox News
- 15,000
- Polls
- This F**king Guy
- A Random Tweet
- Conspiracy Theories
- Russia
- Something random in the news
- Pirates!!
- ??? (Mystery)
- T-Shirt Cannon
- You’re Fired
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Infowars! Shit do I really have to talk about Infowars? It’s just a funny clip? Got it.

Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump. Yes, President Trump. two words that just plain do not go together. Like Nutella bologna. Or Fly Spirit! So we start this week from the “oh look, he’s tweeting again” department. Man he’s been on a rampage. I guess he’s eaten a lot of heavy foods with extra scoops of ice cream and had too many late night outings with the porcelain gods. So here’s what he said this week:


Because Hillary’s not the president, Donnie! You are! So what could he possibly be distracting us from this week:

(CNN) Jared Kushner, the President's son-in-law and senior adviser, said in a statement Monday to the Senate and House intelligence committees that he had no additional contacts with individuals who were or may have been Russian government representatives, beyond those that have already been publicly disclosed.

In an 11-page statement released Monday ahead of his closed-door interview with Senate intelligence committee staff, Kushner offers his first public accounting of what he says are his four meetings with Russians during the 2016 campaign and transition, offering previously undisclosed details of those meetings. Kushner insists in the letter that he discussed nothing improper during those meetings, which include two encounters with the Russian ambassador in Washington, a meeting with the head of a Russian state-owned bank and the June 2016 meeting with a Russian lawyer and others that was set up by Kushner's brother-in-law, Donald Trump Jr.

"I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government," Kushner says in the statement. "I had no improper contacts. I have not relied on Russian funds to finance my business activities in the private sector. I have tried to be fully transparent with regard to the filing of my SF-86 form, above and beyond what is required. Hopefully, this puts these matters to rest."

Kushner also disputes a Reuters report claiming he had two phone calls between April and November 2016 with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, explaining that he has no recollection of those calls and a "comprehensive review of my land line and cell phone records from the time does not reveal those calls."

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/24/politics/jared-kushner-russians-statement/index.html

How many times must we argue here that Jedi Mind Tricks don’t work in real life, Donald? I mean you can keep hiding the truth and supporting the Milford Academy graduate Jared Kushner all you want, but that’s not hiding the fact that we’re on to you! But the Jedi Mind Tricks still continue!

In his first public defense of his meetings with Russian officials during Donald Trump’s campaign and transition, Jared Kushner is presenting his encounters with those operatives as innocent interactions, according to testimony submitted ahead of a high-stakes, closed-door grilling session before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Monday.

In an 11-page opening statement provided to reporters in advance of his 10 a.m. appointment with the panel, which is part of the ongoing investigation into possible collusion between Russian officials and the Trump campaign, Kushner — now a senior White House adviser — attempts to exonerate himself, writing: “I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government.”

Instead, the powerful son-in-law paints a picture of himself as a loyal, overworked, under-experienced senior adviser to his father-in-law during a novice campaign that was never staffed up to win.

I mean so what if Jared Kusher’s meeting was no big deal? And what if Trump had more secret meetings with Putin? Seriously this whole thing is beyond fucked up!

President Donald Trump's just-disclosed hourlong meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin during the G-20 summit — using a Kremlin translator, with no national security staff present — may have damaged U.S. interests, according to some national security experts.

With no other witness or note-taker of the sort normally present on the American side, there's no guarantee that Trump or Putin's words were translated correctly — or that Trump didn't give away more classified information, as he did when top Russian officials came to the White House in May.


You know, Donnie, if you’re under investigation for Russian collusion, you don’t hang out with Putin in secret meetings, do you? You don’t tell the guy trying to lose 100 pounds “go ahead, eat that giant plate of chili cheese fries with a side of mac and cheese”, do you? I mean go ahead, eat the whole thing, it’s right there in front of you!

That’s exactly what this is right now with this whole Russia thing. I mean we’re still not done – where does this go? How deep does this go?

Investigators in Congress have been waiting a long time to talk to Jared Kushner, President Trump's son-in-law and top adviser. They'll get to do so behind closed doors on Monday and Tuesday. According to his prepared statement, Kushner will say he did not do anything wrong.

“I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government,” the testimony, as obtained by The Washington Post's Philip Rucker, reads.

Whether he did anything wrong — or believes he did anything wrong — Kushner remains a central figure in the broader Trump-Russia investigation. Here's why:

And guess what? Oh look he’s tweeting again!


President Donald Trump went off on fellow Republicans in two tweets Sunday afternoon, accusing his party members of doing "very little to protect their President."

"As the phony Russian Witch Hunt continues, two groups are laughing at this excuse for a lost election taking hold, Democrats and Russians!" Trump wrote shortly after 4 p.m. ET.

"It's very sad that Republicans, even some that were carried over the line on my back, do very little to protect their President," he said in a second tweet shortly after.

Trump was at the Trump National Golf Club in Potomac Falls, Virginia, on Sunday but had returned to the White House about an hour before firing off the tweets.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a nice strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Clip without context!

Well… he’s not wrong! Spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump! So now we got to introduce you to the latest guy Trump hired – Anthony Scaramucci. Now I know what you’re thinking – does Scaramucci do the Fandango? And the answer to that question is an easy yes! But whew – this guy is a gem, just like everyone else the Trump administration has hired and fired to date.

Of course Anthony Scaramucci is joining the White House. If you look at his career on Wall Street, in media, and in public life, he checks just about every box that Trump would want for a communications director—in part because there’s a remarkable level of Trumpiness to him. He’s like Trump’s younger, shorter double, except he’s a bit of a globalist and he can speak in complete sentences.

But just how similar are they?

Two-word nickname beginning with the word “The”? Check. Everybody calls Scaramucci “The Mooch.”

Ivy League background married to a streetwise persona? Check. Scaramucci, a 1986 graduate of Tufts University, attended Harvard Law but trades on his blue-collar roots in Port Washington, Long Island.

Scaramucci, scaramucci, will you do the Fandango? SEND A BOLT OF LIGHTNING VERY VERY FRIGHTENING ME!!! Galileo! Galileo! Figaro! Magnifico! Oh, sorry got a little carried away there, one of the few songs I can sing from memory. But just like Trump, he’s already made an absolutely brilliant first impression!

Anthony Scaramucci had nothing but glowing praise for new White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders when he made the rounds on morning shows on Sunday.

“I think Sarah does a great job. She's an incredibly warm person. She's incredibly authentic,” the new White House communications director told Jake Tapper on CNN's “State of the Union,” even adding that he's letting Sanders take the bigger office while he settles on a smaller one because she has the tough job of taking hits from the press.

Then, at the end of the lengthy and, at times, heated interview, Scaramucci said there's only one thing he's asking of Sanders.

Bravo!!!! You know what they say about first impressions, right, Scaramucci? Give me some more Bohemian Rhapsody, can we get that? Easy come easy go will you let me go… NO!!!! We will not let you go! Let me go! Will not let you go! Beelzebub has a devil of a sight for me… FOR ME!!! FOR ME!!! OK that’s enough of that. Getting back on topic. But guess what? We’ve got yet another Trump hire from Goldman Sachs!

New York financier Anthony Scaramucci, who has no previous political or communications experience, is President Donald Trump‘s new White House Communications Director. The 53-year-old Long Island native is now a billionaire, and is the co-founder of SkyBridge Capital.

Scaramucci took the job once held by Mike Dubke, who resigned in May. Multiple White House officials told Politoco that Scaramucci was chosen despite resistance from Chief of Staff Reince Priebus and others. In fact, The New York Times reported that Press Secretary Sean Spicer resigned because he thought hiring Scaramucci was a “major mistake.” NBC News is reporting that Steve Bannon said Scaramucci will get the job “over my dead body.”

Scaramucci is married to Deidre Scaramucci and his brother is David Scaramucci. He is a graduate of Tufts University and Harvard Law School.

In addition to his work on Wall Street, Scaramucci was a frequent contributor to Fox News and Fox Business, even co-hosting the weekly show Wall Street Week.

So for those of you keeping score at home – this is Donald Trump’s SIXTH, repeat SIXTH consecutive Goldman Sachs hire! And remember during the campaign trail when Trump accused Hillary of getting paid $675,000 to speak at Goldman Sachs? Well, guess what? Yeah fail. By the way, would you be surprised to learn that Scaramucci has a Futurama doppleganger? Well so are we!

Sometimes the internet is a horrid place, full of trolls, viral hoaxes, and dark rabbit holes of totally weird memes. But other times the internet brings us gifts that delight and amaze us. Some very special people on Twitter brought us one such gift when they pointed out that newly-appointed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci was essentially "That Guy" from Futurama brought to life.

New York financier and Republican fundraiser Scaramucci has been described as a "salesman," a "schmoozer," and a "financial showman who rivals Trump's own outsize knack for self-promotion." And clearly he's got style, having reportedly been nicknamed "Gucci Scaramucci" by former President George W. Bush.

However, President Donald Trump's decision to appoint Scaramucci, a man with no known professional experience in communications, as his new White House communications director kicked off a chain of events that culminated in Sean Spicer abruptly resigning as White House press secretary on Friday. But while some look at Scaramucci and see a man who brought upheaval to the White House, many on Twitter only see "That Guy."

And this might be my new favorite thing here. This was an actual tweet from Anthony Scarmucci!

Seriously - is that a Mark Twain quote or a lyric from a Lana Del Rey song? Well it's definitely not a Mark Twain quote because we know this!

As far as documented history shows, Mark Twain never once wrote, or even uttered aloud, the phrase “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt, and live like its heaven on earth.”

However, that hasn’t stopped other writers, bloggers, or Etsy shop-owners from wrongly attributing the quote to the American author—Anthony Scaramucci, the newly-appointed White House communications director, included.

Along with his old tweets bashing President Donald Trump, the internet took to trolling Scaramucci’s tweet dedicated to the “Mark Twain” quote shortly after news broke Friday of his appointment and former Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s immediate resignation.

But guess what? Scaramucci is going to fire the leakers! And we all know how much Trump loves leaks!

Each Sunday, politicians and their flacks hit the "Big 5" political talk shows — "Meet The Press," "Face The Nation," "This Week," "Fox News Sunday" and "State Of The Union" — to speak about the issues important to them, their bosses and their constituents. Each Sunday afternoon, Patch will bring you our pick for political talk show clip of the week.

This week, newly installed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci appeared on "Face The Nation" and took aim at White House leakers. Below, watch the clip and read the transcript. (For more national political news, sign up for the free White House Patch email newsletter.)

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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We are turning on the spin cycle! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on A Random Tweet! I don’t normally use the Top 10 for plugs but when one of our own is in trouble, we got to help them out!


Yes folks, we need Snopes because the Top 10 wouldn’t exist without Snopes. So help get the word out as much as you possibly can! Spin it again! Donald Trump! So last night, Trump went on another stop on his North American Deplorable Tour 2017 with a rally in Ohio. I won’t have time to get into it, but I did want to point out a product that’s being sold at Trump rallies. Can we show that?


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! How is this not a death threat? Oh it’s absolutely a death threat! Getting back on topic, I’m going to start this piece with some good news, because it’s all downhill from here. And what is this good news you might ask? Well it’s about Donald J. Trump’s mental health. Which as you might have noticed, is not particularly good. So what is this good news, you might ask? Well, there’s been a block from the APA that has prevented psychiatrists and psychoanalysts from speaking out about the mental health of world leaders. And well, that block was removed this week.

A prominent psychiatry group has given members permission to publicly weigh in on the mental health of politicians and public figures, abolishing a decades-old rule that kept specialists from commenting on behaviors and the psychiatric health of public figures without first examining them.

The move gives the 3,500 members of the American Psychoanalytic Association the green light to speak openly about President Donald Trump’s mental health.

“We don’t want to prohibit our members from using their knowledge responsibly,” the group’s former president Prudence Gourguechon told STAT, a health and medicine news site. She said mental health experts have an especially important responsibility today, given “Trump’s behavior is so different than anything we’ve seen before” in a President.

The restriction, coined the “Goldwater rule” has been in place since the 1960s when psychiatrists answered survey questions on whether then-Sen. Barry Goldwater, who was running for President that year, was fit for the office.

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/psychiatry-group-members-now-free-comment-trump-mental-state

So why am I bringing this up now, you might ask? Well first up there’s his mentally unhinged public bullying of our Attorney General Jeff Sessions. And if Sessions is the good guy here, who’s the bad guy?

Washington (CNN)At 6:12 a.m. ET, the President of the United States tweeted this:
"Attorney General Jeff Sessions has taken a VERY weak position on Hillary Clinton crimes (where are E-mails & DNC server) & Intel leakers!"

That came less than 24 hours after Trump had described Sessions as "beleagured" in another tweet and one day after he seemed to roll his eyes when asked about the attorney general in a photo-op with White House interns on Monday. It came six days after Trump told The New York Times that he would have never hired Sessions at all if he knew that the AG would recuse himself in the ongoing investigation into Russia's meddling in the 2016 election.

You know what this is like? This is like Seinfeld when George continues to work for a company that is doing everything to try and fire him but they don’t actually fire him.

Now that we got that out of the way, you know how mentally unhinged Trump is? Well here’s what happened.

Yeah so he turned the Boy Scouts Jamboree – into a full blown Nazi rally! Here’s more.

Parents have expressed anger after President Donald Trump delivered a highly politicised speech to tens of thousands of boy scouts.

Mr Trump started by saying: "Who the hell wants to speak about politics?"

But his speech to the Jamboree in West Virginia railed against Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and the "cesspool" of politics, drawing whoops and cheers.

One parent wrote: "Done with scouts after you felt the need to have my kid listen to a liar stroke his ego."

The Jamboree of the Boy Scouts of America is held every four years and drew about 35,000 scouts from the ages of 12 to 18 to the latest event, held in Beaver, West Virginia, on Monday evening.

Yeah so even the BBC is now referring to him as “Mr. Trump”. Remember when they used to refer to him as President Obama? But now even Trump is going “FAKE NEWS!!!!”. But there’s lots of truly embarrassing shit here that the Democrats need to jump on for 2018.

President Donald Trump started his speech in front of a huge crowd of Boy Scouts at a national jamboree Monday by asking, “Who the hell wants to speak about politics when I’m in front of the Boy Scouts?”

Turns out, he did.

During his 35-minute speech, Trump attacked former president Barack Obama, mocked his former rival Hillary Clinton and threatened to fire Human Services Secretary Tom Price if he doesn’t deliver votes for the GOP’s health care bill.

“By the way, just a question. Did President Obama ever come to a jamboree?” Trump asked the crowd of 40,000, many of whom booed in response.

“The answer is no, but we’ll be back,” Trump said.

Obama, who was a Boy Scout, addressed a 100th anniversary scouting event in 2010 by video, according to The Hill.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I mean come on, if the republicans can make ads that say all liberals are violent lunatics because of one guy, then surely the Democrats can make something out of “Who the hell wants to speak about politics” and then turning that into an overly political and divisive speech? Yeah they’re full of shit! But we’re still not done! Let’s think about what Trump is suggesting here for a minute.

Outside of idiot racists and prominent members of the Republican party who care about nothing but power (some of whom may also be idiot racists), very few adults actually fall for Donald Trump’s bullshit. He’s a mediocre conman and a worse businessman who is benefitting from years of politicians spitefully changing the rules because they hated President Obama, and now we’re apparently stuck with an orange idiot running the country who doesn’t understand the basic things he’s trying to undermine.

Like a lot of aspiring dictators, though, Trump seems to have found one demographic in particular that he can still mold into his ideal supporters: children. Today, Trump spoke at the massive Boy Scouts Jamboree, but instead of telling the thousands of young people in attendance about some crap he doesn’t comprehend, like working hard or respecting people, he got them to chant for him by promising he’d kill the Affordable Care Act (and most likely take away insurance from a good number of them and their families). Unsurprisingly, the video of this is pretty unsettling:

Yeah he’s suggesting that he threw a yacht sex party! I mean who is he? Stewie Griffin?

Oh and in case you’re wondering *WHY* the Boy Scouts invited Orange Douche to speak at their annual Jamboree, I give you this:

Randall Stephenson is probably best known in corporate circles as the chairman and chief executive of telecommunications giant AT&T, but he has also been president of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) since May of 2016.

The two roles are suddenly presenting him with an unusual conflict. Some parents are angry at the scouting group’s management after US president Donald Trump gave a political speech at the scouts’ “annual jamboree” on Monday in West Virginia. The tens of thousands of boys in attendance, aged 11 to 17, booed Hillary Clinton and former president Barack Obama, and cheered as Trump derided the Washington, DC “cesspool” and “fake media.”

The BSA said it was “wholly non-partisan” in a statement this morning, and that the invitation for the president to visit was a long-standing tradition, not an endorsement. However, parents and ex-scouts want an apology from the BSA for letting the jamboree become politicized.

And one more thing - anyone else notice this?

12. Trump thanks his audience — which again, consisted largely of children — for voting for him in November.
“[Clinton] was told she was going to win Michigan, and I said, well, wait a minute, the car industry is moving to Mexico. Why is she going to move — she’s there. Why are they allowing it to move? And by the way, do you see those car industry — do you see what’s happening, how they’re coming back to Michigan? They’re coming back to Ohio. They’re starting to peel back in.” [Applause.]

“And we go to Wisconsin — now, Wisconsin hadn’t been won in many, many years by a Republican. But we go to Wisconsin, and we had tremendous crowds. And I’d leave these massive crowds. I’d say, why are we going to lose this state? The polls — that’s also fake news. They’re fake polls. But the polls are saying — but we won Wisconsin.” [Applause.]

“So I have to tell you what we did, in all fairness, this is an unbelievable tribute to you and all of the other millions and millions of people that came out and voted for Make America Great Again.”

Does he have any understanding of how the Constitution works? Any at all?

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[font size="8"]Sean Spicer
[br] [/font]

Entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP!! Pirates!

You know folks all season long we are featuring our Wheel editions with paying homage to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. This is the second movie in the series, by the way. Let’s spin it again! And it lands on… you’re fired! Ha ha ha!!! Well maybe not so much as fired but resigned. So here’s what happened.

WASHINGTON — Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, resigned Friday after telling President Trump he vehemently disagreed with his appointment of Anthony Scaramucci, a New York financier, as his new communications director.

After offering Mr. Scaramucci the job on Friday morning, Mr. Trump asked Mr. Spicer to stay on as press secretary, reporting to Mr. Scaramucci. But Mr. Spicer rejected the offer, expressing his belief that Mr. Scaramucci’s hiring would add to the confusion and uncertainty already engulfing the White House, according to two people with direct knowledge of the exchange.

Mr. Spicer’s top deputy, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, will serve as press secretary instead.

The long-anticipated resignation rattled an administration already reeling from the most trying two-week stretch of Mr. Trump’s presidency. The president’s health care effort foundered in the Senate last week, and next week promises no respite, with his son Donald Trump Jr. and son-in-law, Jared Kushner, due to testify before Congress on questions about their contacts with Russia.

But that’s not all! So you know Trump’s *NEW* and improved communication director is promising to bridge the gap between the White House and the Fake News CNN!

Incoming White House Communications director Anthony Scaramucci is letting CNN out of the doghouse.

Scaramucci said Sunday that he wanted the icy relationship between the network and the administration to thaw, according to a report.

"In the back of my mind I have to call on CNN and send a message to [CNN Worldwide President Jeff] Zucker that we are back in business," Scaramucci said on a live microphone he was wearing for a series of news interviews he was doing.

His comments were picked up on the microphone and Scaramucci confirmed them to Buzzfeed.

Wow, Trump going full Kanye on that one! And you never go full Kanye. Even Kanye West himself doesn’t go full Kanye! But getting back to Sean Spicer. The sad thing is SNL may have to do an In Memoriam for Melissa McCarthy’s brilliant impression of him. But really Sean? Scaramucci is where you draw the line?

Sean Spicer came to the White House on Thursday completely unaware President Donald Trump was planning to meet with Anthony Scaramucci, a longtime Wall Street friend, and offer him the job of communications director. Other top aides, including Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon, also had no clue.

But in Trump's White House, where rumors of staff shake-ups loom for months, it all happened quickly. By Friday morning, over the strenuous objections of senior aides, Trump had a new communications director. And Spicer had made a spontaneous decision to resign, offended by the whole turn of events. He had been blindsided by Trump before, but he took particular umbrage at this one.

The wham-bam events of the past 24 hours were exceptional even by Trump's standards: the dismissal of his top lawyer and the lawyer's spokesman, West Wing blowups between the president and his top aides, a press secretary fending off rumors about his possible demise without knowing the entire truth, all while new reports landed about Trump going on the attack against the special counsel investigating his White House.

What struck one adviser who speaks to Trump frequently is that the president seemed calm — like he had a plan in mind all along — but just hadn't shared it with many others.

Holy shit! So Trump just met with another figure for his position that very day? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! It’s not like Trump isn’t going to fire someone! But this might be the most bizarre part of this story. Spicey out!!!

After about a month in the White House, Press Secretary Sean Spicer really wanted a mini-fridge. Who could blame him? What a nice office perk. Having cold drinks on hand at all times? Sounds wonderful.

Unfortunately, Spicer went about procuring a fridge in a manner that could best be described as ill-advised. A Wall Street Journal report detailed the long and winding road to Spicer's high-profile resignation Friday and began with an anecdote that showed the press secretary hatching a plan to steal a fridge from junior staffers.

Wrote Michael C. Bender of the Journal: "[Spicer] dispatched a top aide to a nearby executive office building where junior research employees are crammed into a room, surviving on Lean Cuisine frozen lunches. Mr. Spicer wants your icebox, the aide said, according to people familiar with the incident. They refused to give it up."

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[font size="8"]Chris Christie
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Ooh that felt good! And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Uh… you are aware that Planned Parenthood is a healthcare organization, right Gordon? Spin it again! And it lands on… People Who Somehow Got Elected. Hit it!

Politicians at national, state and local levels who are so terrible , you wonder how they got elected in the first place. Or in this case reelected. It’s now time for another installment of:

This week – it’s New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Who recently made the list of the worst governors in America.

Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.) is the most unpopular governor in America, according to a Morning Consult poll published Tuesday.

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie had a tough 2016, and this year isn’t starting off any better for him,” the Morning Consult poll states.

So what did Christie do this week? You know he’s in hot water over his July 4th stunt where he relaxed on the beach *AFTER* closing all the beaches in New Jersey because – wait for it – state budget cuts!

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie brushed off widespread criticism after he and his family were pictured lounging on a beach after many others throughout the state were closed in a government shutdown.

“I don’t apologize for it. I don’t back away from it,” Christie said late on Monday after the state legislature reached an agreement to pass the budget, which ended the shutdown. He posted photos signing the $34.7 billion budget early Tuesday morning on Twitter.

“Let’s be really clear. That’s our residence and we have a right to be there whenever we want to be there,” Christie said, referring to the home at Island Beach State Park given to the governor to use while in office. He said he didn’t ask for any government services while they were there such as lifeguards or garbage collection.

Can we show that picture?

And then there’s more! Did you know he caught a foul ball at a Mets game last week and got booed relentlessly by the crowd? And his excuse? “I’m a politician!”.

NORTH BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Days after catching boos after snagging a foul ball at a Mets game, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie says he’s never seen a politician cheered at a sporting event except for President George W. Bush after 9/11.

Christie said Thursday he knew he needed to give the ball he caught during Tuesday night’s game to a kid or he’d get even more criticism.

The Republican says that booing comes with the job and noted that TV cameras didn’t capture the 10 to 12 people taking pictures with him between innings.

Christie was sitting in the third row, near the New York dugout. In the third inning, Cardinals rookie Paul DeJong lifted a high foul that bounced in the stands. Christie reached out with his left hand and snagged it.

But people in New Jersey have just about had it with the governor’s behavior. And just how much further can the Donald Trump stage prop go?

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, fresh off his beach blunder last week, isn't at all interested in taking your criticisms.

During an appearance on WFAN radio Monday afternoon, callers began mixing it up with the Republican governor, who was severely criticized last week for using a state beach that was closed to the public during a government shutdown and then appearing to hide that fact. In response to the first caller, Christie reportedly called Hillary Clinton a “criminal.” During the second, he labeled the caller — Mike from Montclair — a “communist” and a “bum.”

“I’m enormously relieved we don’t have a criminal in the White House like Hillary Clinton,” Christie said to the first one. To Mike from Montclair: “I love getting calls from communists in Montclair.” And: “You're a bum.”

That last comment came as Christie was complaining about a caller who had referred to his weight and told him to bring a certain part of his anatomy to a beach that other New Jerseyans had access to. And that's actually not that uncommon a response to what has come to be known as “Beachgate.”

So he’s thankful that we don’t have a criminal like Hillary Clinton in the White House? And it’s perfectly OK to have a criminal like Trump in the White House? What brand of covfefe are you smoking there, governor? Even Chris Christie’s possible successor is just as insane as he is:

Democrats are trolling Republicans' pick to succeed New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie with memes of his recent beach-closure controversy.

On Thursday, the Democratic Governors Association released a series of memes showing a beachwear-clad Christie photoshopped into images of Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno on the campaign trail.

"Wherever Kim Guadagno goes, her record in the disastrous Christie administration will follow," DGA Communications Director Jared Leopold said in a release.

"Kim Guadagno could run the length of the Jersey Shore, but she'll never be able to escape her record of being Chris Christie's partner in failure."

Uh… huh huh huh… are you DTF? But even the Donald Trump stage prop is questioning the almight’s motives. Is he as good of a “political actor” as anybody? Well there’s this.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said President Trump's son Donald Trump Jr. was not colluding with Russia when he took the meeting during the 2016 campaign with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya, but was simply a political novice who didn't know any better.

"You got to consider the source of the information and the recipient of the information," Christie said Tuesday in an interview with MSNBC's Nicolle Wallace, referring to the email exchange the President's son released last week detailing the lead-up to his meeting with a Russian lawyer during the 2016 campaign where he was promised compromising information on Hillary Clinton "The source of the information seems to be like a music promoter. I don't think this was a guy who was necessarily sophisticated in the language of government like you and I would be. And the recipient of the information, Donald Trump Jr., who I know very well, is by no means a sophisticated political actor."

"This is a guy who loves his father and got involved in politics because his father got involved," Christie continued. "But I don't think Don would have gotten involved in that level any other time."

And in the day and age where the average moron, er, voter, wants a “Washington Outsider” running things, is Chris Christie who we really want in Washington? Well, he is a criminal. He is under investigation. Does he have ties to Russia? Well, wait until next week to find out!

It wouldn't come as a shock if by the end of the summer, Gov. Chris Christie is seen strolling down K Street in Washington, draped in a sandwich board sign that reads: "INSIDER FOR HIRE."

That's effectively what Christie was doing Tuesday during an MSNBC interview with Nicolle Wallace. He was job hunting on national television, reminding the political world that he would be an invaluable fit for a lobbying or law firm hungry for access to the Trump administration.

In his characteristic humble-brag style, Christie let it be known that he was Donald's friend for 15 years, that he stood at the dawn of history on election night last November, offering to set-up a congratulatory call from President Obama, and that he had even huddled in Trump Tower with Trump the same day that Donald Jr. was taking part in his ill-fated, June 9, 2016 meeting with a Russian lawyer promising dirt on Hillary Clinton.

That’s New Jersey Governor Chris Christie – yet another one who makes the list of:

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[font size="8"]Dana Rohrabacher
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Spin it to win it! Ooh, that was a good spin right there. And it lands on… wait for it… Infowars! I mean shit, do I really have to talk about Infowars this week? Oh it’s just a funny clip? Fine. Roll it. Remember Stephen Colbert’s character Tuck Buckford that was making fun of Alex Jones? Well, this video surfaced this week:

Really? Is Alex Jones going meta now? And if you want Stephen Colbert’s much better character, I give you this:

Just… words fail me on this one. Spin it again! And it lands on… my home state of California!

Damn I love Blink 182. We’re going to have them on the show in a couple of weeks. But seriously my home state of California has one representative who really is just about as batshit insane as it gets and I’m not exaggerating. Can we roll that?

I mean Mr. Rohrabacher is aware that Mars Attacks was just a movie, right? But here’s the real bombshell coming out of the Rohrabacher office this week. Like I said, when the leader of your party is under investigation about Russia, maybe shut the fuck up about Russia!

A bombshell report claims that Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA), who has long been described as “Putin’s favorite congressman,” was given explicit instructions by the Kremlin for how to attack sanctions against Russia last year.

The Daily Beast reports that “after being given a secret document by officials in Moscow, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher sought to alter sanctions legislation and tried to set up a virtual show trial on Capitol Hill” last June, right at around the time that Donald Trump Jr. and key members of the Trump campaign met with Russian nationals who claimed to be representatives of the Russian government’s efforts to undermine the candidacy of Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Rohrabacher’s original plan was to have a show trial in Congress of anti-Putin campaigner Bill Browder in which he would “confront Browder with a feature-length pro-Kremlin propaganda movie that viciously attacks him—as well as at least two witnesses linked to the Russian authorities, including lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya.”

The purpose of this “show trial,” according to an email reviewed by the Daily Beast, was to undermine a set of sanctions placed on Russia that were named after Sergei Magnitsky, who served as Browder’s tax attorney before being imprisoned after exposing a Russian corruption scandal.


Go on fatty! The Golden Corral is just off this exit of the 710 freeway! What's your temptation? They got it! Look, they have all you can eat everything! Cheeseburgers? Sure! Mac and cheese? Sure! French fries? Sure! Prime rib? You got it! Chocolate chip cookies? There’s plenty of them! What? You like Asian food? They got wontons! Indian food? They got lots of garlic naan and chicken tikka! Mexican food? They got carne asada, rice and beans! Italian food? They got plenty of pasta and pizza! Give in to the temptation! I mean really if you’re under investigation for ties to Russia, stay away from Russia! These guys cant help themselves!

A former Soviet military counterintelligence officer who met with President Trump's son, son-in-law and campaign manager in June 2016 had previously lobbied Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Huntington Beach) at least twice about U.S. relations with Russia.

News broke Friday that Rinat Akhmetshin, who received U.S. citizenship and became a Washington lobbyist after emigrating from Russia more than a decade ago, was also present at the Trump Tower meeting with campaign officials and Kremlin-linked lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya. The New York Times first reported the news about the meeting aimed at potential negative information about Hillary Clinton.

Several outlets have reported on Akhmetshin's past lobbying of Rohrabacher to help remove Russian lawyer Sergei Magnitsky’s name from a global anti-corruption law. Magnitsky was a whistleblower who alleged that officials in Russian President Vladimir Putin’s government stole $230 million. He died in prison under suspicious circumstances.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no you didn’t! And of course this guy died under mysterious circumstances, this is Vladimir Putin we’re talking about here! If you have ties to Putin, you’re going to die in jail under mysterious cricumstances. It’s a simple fact of life! And this guy is from Huntington Beach, this is my neck of the woods, damn it! So how deep is Russia in this thing?

The latest comes from the Associated Press, which reports that Rinat Akhmetshin, a Russian lobbyist and former counter-intelligence member, says that he also sat in on the controversial meeting attended by Kremlin-linked attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya, Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort and Donald Trump Jr. This is significant to Rep. Rohrabacher (R-Huntington Nyet) because of the Slimin’ Congressman’s own ties to Akhmetshin. It’s been previously reported that the pair met multiple times to discuss a federal money-laundering case involving a firm Russian prosecutor Sergei Magnitsky was investigating before he was arrested by Russian authorities and mysteriously died in a Moscow prison in 2009. That’s what led to the Magnitsky Act, a bipartisan bill passed by the U.S. Congress and signed by President Obama in 2012 to punish Russian officials responsible for the prosecutor’s death. Vladimir Putin has been lobbying to get the legislation shitcanned ever since. For instance, it’s also been reported that Rohrabacher met last year with Veselnitskaya at the Capitol Hill Club to talk about the Magnitsky Act. Days after the meeting with Trump Jr., she sat in the front row of Rohrabacher’s committee hearing on U.S. policy toward Putin’s Russia, a land that now makes former Soviet basher Dana's naughty bits tingle.

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
[br] [/font]

Entering the spin zone! And it lands on………….. Something random in the news!

That’s right! Dr. Who is going to be a woman in 2017! Now… the alt right on the other hand, collectively lost their shit. I don’t really have time to get into it, but look up some of the complaints, it’s pretty much an epic fail. The usual group of MRAs are at it saying things like “Bras aren’t involved in time travel! It’s for men only!”. STFU. Spin it again! And it lands on… Nazis!

Specifically the alt right again. And they have been losing it hard this week. To get even more specific, I’m of course talking about alt right darling and guy who breaks the fourth wall, only to find another fourth wall behind it, Jack Posobiec. Who this week said something racist, not surprisingly!

“To make those accusations on the hallowed ground of Auschwitz is offensive and twisted and, unfortunately, proves the point about our research,” an ADL spokesperson told TPM by email.

Posobiec, who describes himself on Twitter as a “filmmaker, and recovering political operative” and promoted the “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory, took exception to the ADL’s list associating him with the far-right movement.

The ADL described the so-called “alt-right” movement as “a segment of the white supremacist movement consisting of a loose network of racists and anti-Semites who reject mainstream conservatism in favor of politics that embrace implicit or explicit racist, anti-Semitic and white supremacist ideology.”

It listed Posobiec as a member of the “alt lite,” a “loosely-connected movement whose adherents generally shun white supremacist thinking, but who are in step with the alt right in their hatred of feminists and immigrants, among others.”


So “Alt Lite”? What does that even mean? They’re lite Nazis? Is this a new beer that I’m not aware of? Drink new Alt Lite – it’ll bring out the third reich in you! NEIN!!! But this might be my favorite story of the week. If a group of Nazis protests and nobody cares about it, did it really happen?

A group of Trump supporters gathered outside of CNN’s headquarters in Atlanta in an attempt to protest against “fake news” on Saturday — but the sparsely attended rally only drew an estimated 30 people.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that the protest, which was live-streamed through the web by Breitbart News, featured people holding signs that said things like “Beware fake news” and “CNN: Criminal News Network.”

The protesters walked around outside of CNN on the sidewalk chanting, “No more fake news” and other slogans.

“We’re here to tell CNN no more fake news,” organizer Melanie Morgan told the AJC. “They have to know people who are here expect fairness in journalism.”

Debbie Dooley, a local Tea Party activist who helped organize the protest, told the AJC that she and her allies would continue protesting outside CNN at least every month, despite the low turnout at the event on Saturday.

But the right is a perfect example of that song “I get knocked down, but I get up again”. Yes, the alt right loves to beat dead horses. Like this gem from Trump’s new replacement for Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

“Look, I know that he is certainly frustrated and disappointed in the attorney general for recusing himself,” Sanders told “Fox & Friends.”

“That frustration certainly hasn’t gone away and, you know, I don’t think it will,” Sanders said. “But given the fact that the president is being attacked unnecessarily and, certainly, for no reason on something he and, I think, most of America feel is a complete hoax and that the media has gotten so spun up on Russia fever, we’re looking to move on.”

Trump has made clear that Sessions must launch an investigation of Hillary Clinton if he wants to stay on as attorney general — which Sanders justified as proper.

“I don’t think the president has ever sent mixed messages on how he feels about all of the improper actions that the Clintons took and certainly were involved in over the course of the last several years,” Sanders said, “and I think he is getting hit every single day on a ridiculous witch hunt that has proved nothing. People have been investigating for over a year and have found nothing. But there’s actually some real, I think, hard facts to look at when it comes to the Clintons, and I think that’s been completely ignored. The president’s looking for a fair playing field on that front.”

And if that wasn’t enough – the alt right continues to push bullshit even though it’s not true. I mean remember Pizzagate? Even Alex Jones himself thought this story was complete bullshit. And for him to say it’s bullshit, then it’s fucking bullshit.

Liz Crokin Says Scalise Shooting Was ‘A Hit’ Orchestrated By The Pizzagate Sex Trafficking Ring

Comet Ping Pong, the center of the "Pizzagate" conspiracy theory (Wikimedia Commons)
Liz Crokin is a right-wing columnist, commentator and conspiracy theorist who has been heavily promoting the right-wing “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory, which asserts that several high-ranking Democratic operatives—most notably John Podesta, the chairman of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign—are involved in a massive child sex trafficking ring.
Last week, Crokin appeared on “The Hagmann and Hagmann Report,” where she alleged that the shooting of Rep. Steve Scalise last month was really “a hit” carried out by this global pedophile network aimed at stopping him from enacting anti-trafficking legislation.


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[font size="8"]Wayne Allen Root
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Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… Clip without context!

You do know that Trump is doing that to himself, right, Jim? So would the suit then target Trump himself? I mean if that’s the case then by all means! So many questions here! Spin it again! And it lands on This Fucking Guy!

This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is conservative commentator Wayne Allen Root. I mean really, this fucking guy. Well he wins this week because as part of the Fox News Gentlemen’s Club, he has a particularly shady repore with hot looking female journalists.

On his radio program yesterday, right-wing commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root rejoiced over the poor ratings that Megyn Kelly has received since leaving Fox News for NBC, attributing the results to the fact that liberal men won’t watch her show because they are all gay.

“She’s got great legs,” he said. “She’s a hot babe and no one gives a crap about her. You know why? Because a hot babe on Fox News, Republican men loved her; take her off Fox News, now the whole world knows what she is. Republican men like me, I wouldn’t tune in. Screw Megyn Kelly.”

“I hope she dies,” Root said, before quickly adding that he meant that he hopes “her ratings plummet and her career dies” because “she tried to screw over our man, Donald Trump.”

I mean… Jesus. Where do we even begin with this one? First of all. Not all liberal men are gay. Some of us like to keep it a mystery! Thank you! And you hope she dies because her career is failing? Holy shit! She’s got great legs and she’s a hot babe? What are you, 12? A grown-ass man does not call a woman a “hot babe” even if he’s in a bar full of attractive women. And we’re not done yet:

“Outside of Fox News, you have no support,” he continued. “You had the hottest show in the country, my friend, and what did you do? You spit in our face. Now you’re done. All those Republican men who appreciate beautiful women, we don’t like you anymore, we’re never going to give you the time of day, Megyn Kelly. Who’s left? Liberal women won’t like you because you’re coming from Fox News and liberal men, well, they’re all gay or they don’t appreciate pretty women.”

“Real men like beautiful women,” Root said. “Liberal men? You could walk into a room and they wouldn’t even notice. They’re too busy worrying about the poor. They don’t care about beautiful legs, they don’t care about your beautiful face and your blonde hair and your tight skirt. They don’t care!”

“You are a traitor,” he fumed. “Eat dirt. Have a nice life. Goodbye. Adios. Go to Mexico, you’re not wanted here anymore.”

Yeah so he’s a fucking creep. You know Wayne – real men like beautiful women. Real men also don’t treat beautiful women like objects. In fact he’s so obsessed with liberals and sex that he came up with this batshit insane theory:

On his radio program yesterday, right-wing commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root warned men never to date a liberal woman who owns cats because “she’ll cut your pee-pee off.”

Root was ranting about a federal contractor who was arrested for allegedly leaking classified information to a news outlet when he went off on a tangent about how liberal women who own cats are all insane.

“Find me a woman who is a feminist and a liberal and likes cats and I will find you someone who ought to be in an insane asylum every single time,” Root bellowed. “Hey guys, if any of you out there are single and you ever meet a woman who admits to being a liberal and hating Trump and when you get to her house, she’s got cats, run for your life. Run, run, run. Like those ads in Britain, run and hide and tell other men to run and hide.”

Once again, Wayne – grown ass men do not refer to their penis as a “pee pee”. I mean what are you, 5 years old? Maybe that’s who listens to Newsmax podcasts! But we’re still not done with this fucking guy, I mean really he’s insane.

“Find me a woman who is a feminist and a liberal and likes cats and I will find you someone who ought to be in an insane asylum every single time,” Root bellowed. “Hey guys, if any of you out there are single and you ever meet a woman who admits to being a liberal and hating Trump and when you get to her house, she’s got cats, run for your life. Run, run, run. Like those ads in Britain, run and hide and tell other men to run and hide.”

“No man can ever live with a liberal woman with cats,” he continued. “She’ll cut your pee-pee off, I promise you. Liberals are mentally unstable and mentally insane. They’re unhinged.”

Sounds like you’re the one who’s unhinged, Wayne! Thank you! That one is worthy of the Putin facepalm! Mr. Root also has a particularly odd obsession with President Trump.

Right-wing commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root kicked off his radio broadcast yesterday by reading his latest commentary in which he calls on conservatives to rally behind the president against those who seek to “lynch” and “crucify” him.

Root says that Trump, like William Wallace and Jesus Christ, is a champion of the people and is now “facing one of the most intense, over-the-top attacks ever seen in world history,” orchestrated by the “deep state,” the media, and “disgusting, disgraced people” like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

“They have to stop him at all costs,” Root said. “Not just stop him, destroy him. Lynch him. Crucify him. They need to send a clear message, so no one ever tries to educate, enlighten, or empower the people ever again. That’s why the gates of hell have been opened on President Trump. That’s why Trump is facing a tsunami, earthquake, tornado, hailstorm all in one.”

Really, you compare Trump to Jesus? The actual son of God vs the actual son of Satan? Maybe Trump isn’t the son of Satan, but he sure damn feels like it! In fact he loves Trump so much that he recently said this:

Right-wing commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root kicked off his radio show yesterday by freaking out over right-wing reports that professional baseball player Albert Almora Jr. had subtly given President Trump the middle finger when the Chicago Cub visited the White House.

Almora denies having done so, insisting that he respects everybody and “would never do that to the president of the United States.” But that did not dissuade Root from spending several minutes ranting about the story while repeatedly calling Almora a “low-life, scum bucket, piece of human garbage.”

Almora “looks like a low-life gang banger,” Root fumed. “I hope every Cubs fan who ever voted for Donald Trump forevermore boos you and tells you to go to hell because you’re a piece of human garbage.”

Hey Wayne, I think you’re the piece of human garbage here. If he thinks that’s insulting, wait until he gets a hold of this show! But then Wayne further added insult to injury and said this:

“There is a low-life who should have his mouth washed out with soap ten thousand times and write on a blackboard ten thousand times, ‘I will never use my middle finger again,'” Root continued to rant as he blasted Almora for “having used it against the president of the United States in the Oval Office, inches away from my president, Donald J. Trump, one of the great presidents in American history. Just sickens me!”

Hey Wayne:

That’s Wayne Allen Root – this week’s entry for:

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[font size="8"]The Juice Is Loose
[br] [/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it…

Spin it again! And it lands on… booze! Time for…

And this week’s drink? Why it’s the screwdriver! Yes the combination of vodka and orange juice which is the perfect drink if you’re going to hair of the dog it. So why are we talking about orange juice? Yeah this is going to be a lame metaphor but I need some vodka and orange juice to tell you the strange tale of the Juice’s parole. Particularly this little bit of interesting news.

Nevada's most famous inmate has a chance to be a Carson City brothel's most famous greeter.

Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, said he is prepared to offer O.J. Simpson a job as a greeter at the brothel.

Simpson was granted parole Thursday after serving nearly nine years at the Lovelock Correctional Center. He is expected to be released in October.

"We got the limo all ready," Hof said in a phone call to the Reno Gazette-Journal Friday. "We're making the banners. We'll come and pick him up at the prison if he'll allow it."

Simpson hopes to move to Florida to be with family and friends after being paroled. In order to move, he would have to qualify and apply for the transfer to Florida, but Hof said he is confident Simpson would stay in Nevada for "a little longer."

"It's the perfect transition," Hof said. "Limos, signs, girls - what a way to get out of prison, O.J."

How can you have a story about OJ without referencing the Naked Gun? Well there’s even more to this story that you would have thought possible. But just like the weird that OJ brings with him, the parole hearing wasn’t without weird shit happening.

O.J. Simpson’s parole board hearing had its share of strange moments. One friend was wearing a Heisman shirt, and a Parole Board member was wearing a Kansas City Chiefs tie while ruling on a former NFL player’s parole hearing.

Sports fans took notice to the tie, but this was a calculated wardrobe decision. Board member Adam Endel had been planning to break out the tie for at least several days before the hearing. He even bragged about the tie to a Kansas City sports radio station earlier this week.

During Monday’s Fescoe in the Morning on 610 Sports Radio in Kansas City, hosts Bob Fescoe and Mike Welch discussed the upcoming parole hearing. Then, they promoted that Endel, a Chiefs fan, would be joining the show on Friday and that he had told them he was going to wear his Chiefs tie to the hearing.

I like that one! And that’s a double pun, damn it! But here’s where it really gets weird. I didn’t think it was possible to draw a line when you’re going to one of the world’s most famous brothels, but apparently there is one!

O.J. Simpson’s first post-prison job offer hit a snag when some of his potential co-workers threaten to quit.

The working girls at Nevada’s famed Bunny Ranch definitely have some standards, and they don’t like the idea that their boss wants to give Simpson a second chance by letting him work as a greeter at their brothel, TMZ reported.

Following the decision by the Nevada authorities to grant Simpson parole, Bunny Ranch owner Denis Hof told TMZ he would be happy give the disgraced NFL star and accused double-murderer a job. With the job also came the invitation for Simpson to live on the property.

The 70-year-old Simpson was granted parole Thursday after more than eight years in prison for a Las Vegas hotel heist. The decision means Simpson could be out of prison as early as Oct. 1. Hof thought his Carson City establishment would be the perfect place for Simpson to get his life back together after leaving prison.

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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #7: Norway
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin that wheel one last time this week! And it lands on… T-Shirt Cannon!!!! Everyone here will get the high quality Top 10 Conservative Idiots World Tour 2017 shirt. Now only if I had the budget to make and sell t-shirts! Let’s spin it again! World Tour 2017! Hit it!

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So far we've been all over Europe. And loving it. The Europeans are very hospitable and have accompanied our nonsense in every destination we've been to. We started in France, then headed to Italy, Greece, and Germany, and visited Ireland and England. Now we're leaving continental Europe and heading up north to Scandinavia. Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]Norway[/font]

We need some music for this one!

Next we head to Scandinavia! Specifically the icy country of Norway. Norway is the home of the Viking! It’s the land of the ice and snow as Led Zeppelin once referred to it. Just like a country we previously visited, Ireland, Norway is home to some of the world’s most beautiful scenery, like one of the world’s original wonders – Priekestolen. Although unlike Ireland, sub zero temperatures can some times accompany them. Norway is home to such popular foods as Lutefisk. Of course when one thinks of Norway one immediately thinks of skiing as their primary sport. But other sports such as curling and boxing are at the helm of Norway sports. And when you think of the Vikings who is it you naturally think of? Is it Thor Odinson of Asguard or is it Leif Erickson? Norway is also the world’s home of death metal – some of the best death and black metal bands in the world come from Norway. Bands such as Dimmu Borgir, Enslaved, Solefald, Darkthrone, Gorgoroth, Emperor, Mayhem, Dodheimsgard, and our musical guest tonight – Ulver! But what else is Norway the home of? Car fires!

Even though Oslo police still do not know who is behind the latest car fires in Oslo, coalition government partner Progress Party (Frp) uses it as part of their election campaign.

On Tuesday and Wednesday total 11 cars fire incidents were reported in Oslo. The police is investigating the cases and so far nobody have been arrested.

Yet, coalition government partner, Progress Party (FrP) posts a poster on Facebook, with an image of a burning car and slogan “we will not have it in Norway. Agree?”.

The party’s Iranian origin immigration spokesman, Mazyar Keshvari claims that incidents are result of immigration.

He also claims that there will be more burning cars, if Labor Party leader Jonas Gahr Støre is elected as prime minister in September.

That’s how you stage a fucking protest. And Norway like nearly every other country on earth – is currently experiencing a wave of white supremacism and the rise of an ultra far right wing party, one that makes Trump supporters look tame by comparison. Well if there’s one thing right wingers across the world hate, it’s taxes. And Norway attempted a “voluntary tax program”, and well, it was quite the epic fail.

Eager to pay more taxes? Then look no further than Norway.

Hammered by the opposition for slashing taxes and going on a spending spree with the country’s oil money, the center-right government has hit back with a bold proposal: voluntary contributions.

Launched in June, the initiative has received a lukewarm reception, with the equivalent of just $1,325 in extra revenue being collected so far, according to the Finance Ministry. That’s not much for a country of 5.3 million people, many of whom are already accustomed to paying some of the highest taxes in the world (the top rate of income tax is 46.7 percent).

“The tax scheme was set up to allow those who want to pay more taxes to do so in a simple and straightforward way,” Finance Minister Siv Jensen said in an emailed comment. “If anyone thinks the tax level is too low, they now have the chance to pay more.”

So where does Norway get most of its’ money from? Oil! And while Scandinavia is leading the world in the switch from gas powered cars to fully electric and hybrid cars, would you be surprised at all to learn that Norway is also leading the world in fuel consumption?

The “peak demand” hypothesis is the idea that demand for oil will peak as alternatives to oil become widespread. The notion that peak demand will happen within the next few years – and that EVs will be the primary driving force behind this shift – has gained in popularity over the past couple of years, particularly among cleantech enthusiasts. Bloomberg has especially pushed this narrative in several articles (See here, here or here). One Bloomberg article last year argued that EVs could cause a permanent oil crash as soon as 2023.

Norway’s experience is perhaps instructive.

In response to generous incentives and some of the highest gasoline prices in the world, Norway’s electric vehicle (EV) sales have grown at the fastest rate of any country in the world. Over the past seven years, Norway’s EV sales have averaged more than a 90% annual growth rate.

Great movie. Well at least the last 20 minutes of it. And while the rest of the world is learning what a dangerous mad man Vladimir Putin is, Norway is one country that long figured it out before anyone else did!

A poll published by Dagbladet today shows that a clear majority of Norwegians believe that Putin is dangerous for world peace. 11 percent believe he is very dangerous, while 47 percent of respondents think he is quite dangerous.

Only 2 percent of the respondents think Putin is not dangerous at all.

Senior researcher at the Norwegian Defense Research Institute (FFI) Tor Bukkvoll believes Norwegians’ perception of Russia as a possible threat changed when the country annexed the Crimean Peninsula in Ukraine in 2014.

[font size="6"]The Verdict[/font]

Norway is a great country considering both the political climate and the actual climate. It’s a great place for tourists and immigrants but the seedy underbelly is something that should be alarming to liberals.

[font size="6"]Scorecard[/font]

Norway is a country that’s had a massive turn around in the last few years, mainly thanks to the oil industry and how much money they’re making off it. It’s still got a long way to go before it’s the perfect liberal utopia.

Tourism: B+
Culture: A+
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week we’re continuing our journey through Scandinavia and heading to Norway’s neighbors in Sweden! It’s the land of Ikea, Volvo, meatballs, chefs, and death metal! Plus some live music from Sweden’s Ghost! Bork bork bork!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Ulver[/font]

My next musical guest is proud to represent their home country of Norway. Their latest album is called “The Assassination Of Julius Caesar”. Playing their song “So Falls The World”, give it up for Ulver!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: San Jose Improv, San Jose, CA
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
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Ulver Appear Courtesy Of: House Of Mythology
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo
July 19, 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-6: Little Douche Coup Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-6: Little Douche Coup Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Man you guys are awesome! You’ve been smoking some good covfefe since last week! We’ve got a great show for you this week! Ready to have some fun? We won't have time to cover the death of Trumpcare this week... Oh come on audience, expect it to be good next week! But Trump has promised us it's going to get better at lunch time!


"The Dems scream death as OCare dies!" Doesn't that sound like a line from a death metal song? Please Mr. President, what have they got?

Come on - Trump has promised to "repeal and replace it" more times than his own supporters have attempted to stage boycotts. I think I have a preview of what the big bombshell that Trump is going to have planned for us at lunchtime is!

Honestly the GOP is going after Obamacare (which, let's be honest - they gave it that name) the way Wiley Coyote goes after the Road Runner. But one of my favorite reactions to this whole mess had to come from California representative Adam Schiff. Can we throw that Tweet up there?


It's the cycle of shit and it screws us all! OK that's enough of the intro. We will get to the death of Trumpcare next week, that I promise. But this week, we got a lot of idiocy to get to, but first Stephen Colbert slams our top subject Donald Trump Jr:

So where do we begin this week in a week that was a colossal fuck up for the Trump brigade? The top two slots this week are going to go to Donald Trump Jr. Yeah. Unless you’re living under a rock then you know that Trump Jr just dropped a massive bombshell in regards to the whole Russia shindig. So much that it’s spilled over from not just one entry but he’s taking up the top 2 slots. In the number 3 slot is Premier Trump (3). So Trump is starting the “Made In America” week, which sounds like a good idea in theory but is backfiring on him spectacularly. In the number 4 slot is also Premier Trump (4). So he doesn’t have particularly good taste in lawyers, and well, after this one, let’s say his taste in lawyers mirrors his taste in interior decorating. And we’re not kidding. Taking the 5th slot – we have a rare double entry! It’s Jeff Sessions and Donald Trump. So both met with America’s religious faithful in the White House, because, reasons, violating not only the Constitution but also a shit ton of other laws in the process! In the number 6 slot is the White House dinner guest nobody asked for, or wanted – Kid Rock (6). He announced a Senate campaign this week. That’s exactly what we need. Kid Rock in the senate. At number 7 – is Sean Hannity. So we’ve been saying for a long time that Fox News is what America’s version of state run television would look like under a dictatorship, and now actually people are saying that, and naturally this upset professional snowflake Sean Hannity. Taking the number 8 slot is Ann Coulter who went absolutely apeshit after getting bumped from her seat on a flight last week, and I couldn’t love this more! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got another roundup of “People Are Dumb”, because there’s lots of stupid people out there. And we also have to talk about the “Cash me outside how boud dat” girl. And we will end this week with the next leg of our World Tour 2017. This time around we’re going to Germany – are the Germans ushering in the perfect liberal utopia? Well they may get there sooner than we are, that’s for sure! Plus we have some great German industrial music for you from a little band called KMFDM. No, it does not stand for “Kill Motherfucking Depeche Mode”. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump Jr.
[br] [/font]

We need some music for this one.

You’re my little deuce coupe… you don’t know what I got! Oh sorry got carried away there. Except only we should call this one “Little Douche Coup”. We left the “e” off the word “coupe” on purpose because that’s exactly what this was – a fucking coup. The United States of America is officially under occupation from a hostile foreign enemy that is intent on destroying us. I’m talking about the republican party, of course. And it’s leader Donald Trump, as you know – has a son even stupider and more batshit insane than he is!

The June 3, 2016, email sent to Donald Trump Jr. could hardly have been more explicit: One of his father’s former Russian business partners had been contacted by a senior Russian government official and was offering to provide the Trump campaign with dirt on Hillary Clinton.

The documents “would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia and would be very useful to your father,” read the email, written by a trusted intermediary, who added, “This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.”

If the future president’s elder son was surprised or disturbed by the provenance of the promised material — or the notion that it was part of an ongoing effort by the Russian government to aid his father’s campaign — he gave no indication.

He replied within minutes: “If it’s what you say I love it especially later in the summer.”

Read more: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/11/us/politics/trump-russia-email-clinton.html?_r=0

I love that movie. Particularly the scene where a woman walks up to Frank and says “Is this some kind of bust?” Which he responds “Well, it’s very impressive, yes.”. So with that admission – Trump Jr. basically responded with what amounts to, as George Bluth would call it, some “light treason”. What would that entitle, exactly?

"In a statement on Sunday, Donald Trump Jr. said he had met with the Russian lawyer at the request of an acquaintance. 'After pleasantries were exchanged,' he said, 'the woman stated that she had information that individuals connected to Russia were funding the Democratic National Committee and supporting Ms. Clinton. Her statements were vague, ambiguous and made no sense. No details or supporting information was provided or even offered. It quickly became clear that she had no meaningful information.'

"He said she then turned the conversation to adoption of Russian children and the Magnitsky Act, an American law that blacklists suspected Russian human rights abusers. The law so enraged President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia that he retaliated by halting American adoptions of Russian children.

"'It became clear to me that this was the true agenda all along and that the claims of potentially helpful information were a pretext for the meeting,' Mr. Trump said.

Read that last part again: "the claims of potentially helpful information were a pretext for the meeting." Trump Jr. confirmed that he went into the meeting expecting to receive information from the Russian lawyer that could hurt Clinton. That is a breathtaking admission.

Except it’s not light treason. It’s full on fucking treason. But here’s the interesting thing – since the admission an Irish based gambling website saw that the impeachment odds of Trump being removed by 2021 have spiked over 60%!!!!

Donald Trump Jr. left many speechless when he shared his full email exchange with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya that led to a meeting during his father’s presidential campaign in 2016.

While some are accusing Trump Jr. of collusion, others are getting out their wallets: PaddyPower, an Ireland-based betting site, has seen more users placing bets on President Trump being impeached before the end of his first term, bringing the site's total odds of the President being shuffled out of the White House by 2021 up to 60%—the highest it’s ever been, according to company spokesperson Lee Price.

" had gone quiet over the last month, and we were starting to wonder if he might have ridden out the initial controversies – but he’s back with a bang today,” Price wrote in an email to Fortune Wednesday.

Not only are PaddyPower bettors increasingly putting their money on Trump being impeached before his first term is over, but they are also betting on him being impeached as soon as this year, bringing those odds up to 33.3%. That's despite the fact that impeachment proceedings are usually lengthy.

Read more: http://fortune.com/2017/07/12/donald-trump-impeachment-odds/

And Trump does have the worst attorneys and we’ll get into that a bit later. But really this whole thing Is like peeling an onion – the more the layers are pulled back, the more it stinks and they more likely you are to cry as a result. In fact, things couldn’t get any worse, could they?

The Russian lawyer who met with Donald Trump Jr. during the 2016 presidential election said on Tuesday that it appeared that the president’s son and others at the meeting were “longing” for information on the Democratic National Committee.

In an interview broadcast Tuesday on NBC's "Today" show, the lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, was asked why Trump Jr., Jared Kushner and then-campaign chairman Paul Manafort, would be under the impression that they’d be told information about the DNC, which was hacked during the election.

"It's quite possible that maybe they were longing for such information. They wanted it so badly,” Veselnitskaya said of the June 2016 meeting.

Speaking via a translator, Veselnitskaya denied that she was ever in possession of any "damaging or sensitive information" about Clinton and that "it was never my intention to have" such information. Further, she denied having any ties to the Russian government and said her meeting with the president's son, son-in-law and campaign chairman was intended only to benefit her client's interest related to sanctions leveled back and forth between Russia and the U.S.

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/11/russian-lawyer-natalia-veselnitskaya-interview-240393


Trump Jr. may have to hire Bob Loblaw because you know what a track record the Trump family has on attorneys! But is this the smoking gun? Actual law professors are starting to weigh in!

Paul Buttler was clear as he methodically detailed why there is more than probable cause to charge Donald Trump Jr. with a crime.

"This is smoking gun evidence of collusion, Andrea," Professor Paul Butler said. "Collusion itself is not a crime. What is a federal offense, is soliciting a campaign contribution from a foreign national like a Russian government operative. A campaign contribution is defined in the statute as anything of value. So it could be money. But it is also a service like opposition research, like dirt on Hillary Clinton. So right now at this moment, there is probable cause to charge Donald Trump Jr. with a federal offense."

The email chain is damning. It is clear from the beginning of the chain that it was about colluding with the Russians.

So it light treason? Possibly! Is it collusion? Definitely! But what else is it? There’s lots of other things we can call it, but I think the technical term the media is searching for is “clusterfuck”. And where does it all come back to Russia? Here!

The Russian lawyer who peddled dirt on Hillary Clinton to Donald Trump Jr. has ties to former Russian military and intelligence officials, a key congressional committee will hear in testimony next week.

William Browder, an American financier who has investigated Russian corruption for more than a decade, will brief the Senate Judiciary Committee at a hearing next week on the lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya’s ties to the Russian government—including to former top members of the GRU and the FSB, two of the Kremlin’s main intelligence agencies. Those ties were spelled out in documents that Browder shared with the committee and provided to The Daily Beast this week.

“Veselnitskaya may have had her own agenda in requesting a meeting with Trump,” according Rolf Mowatt-Larssen, a former CIA officer who led the agency’s European directorate of operations. “But Russian intelligence practice is to co-opt such a person by arming them with secret intelligence information and tasking them to pass it to Trump’s people and get their reaction.”

“The key point is that essentially no Russian citizen or lawyer has compromising material on Hillary Clinton which has not been supplied to them from Russian intelligence,” Mowatt-Larssen wrote on Tuesday. “The simple assertion that she had such information is tantamount to declaring that Veselnitskaya was acting as agent of Russian government in this particular role.”

More: http://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-jrs-russian-connection-has-ties-to-former-kremlin-spies

In fact we almost need a flow chart to explain this. Thankfully Stephen Colbert does!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump Jr.
[br] [/font]

We’re still not done with all the Trump – Russia stuff this week. There’s so much that it’s spilling over into a second entry! As I said before in the previous entry, this couldn’t possibly get any worse now, could it? Of course the media is trying to spin this as the democrats are on a “witch hunt” but there is a witch in this hunt – and that witch is President Trump. and of course this jackass had to weigh in on the problem:

Fox News host Sean Hannity lives in an alternative universe and is begging his audience to join him. The right-wing commentator took his spin to towering new heights on Monday when he blamed everybody except the Trump administration for the growing Russia scandal.

Hannity, a mouthpiece for President Donald Trump, had the audacity to point his fingers at Democrats for the shady meeting that took place in June 2016 involving Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort and a Russian attorney.

Telling his viewers that they were not going to hear this from the mainstream media, Hannity said that Trump’s legal team thinks the meeting was set up to “give the appearance of Russian collusion.” Hannity alleged that an opposition research firm connected to high-ranking Democrats somehow orchestrated all of this.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Someone should really tell Fox News that THEY ARE THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA now! Fox News is played in more places than CNN! Our *PRESIDENT* watches Fox News for 6 hours a day!

President Trump loves Fox & Friends. At 6:24 a.m. on Monday, Trump gushed on Twitter about the “amazing reporting” on the morning talk show. A week earlier he instructed the nation to “watch @foxandfriends now” for their exemplary Russia coverage. He tweeted about the program, hosted by Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, and Brian Kilmeade, seven times in March alone, and recently brought it up in an interview with Fox News’ Tucker Carlson, telling him cheerfully, “I like that group of three people.”

Even after becoming president, Trump reportedly manages to fill his days with “plenty of television,” and from his tweets, it’s often possible to discern when—and what—he’s watching. In January, Axios broke down the president’s media diet:

Most mornings, Trump flicks on the TV and watches "Morning Joe," often for long periods of time, sometimes interrupted with texts to the hosts or panelists. After the 6 a.m. hour of "Joe," he's often on to "Fox & Friends" by 7 a.m., with a little CNN before or after. He also catches the Sunday shows, especially "Meet the Press." "The shows," as he calls them, often provoke his tweets. The day of our interview with him, all of his tweet topics were discussed during the first two hours of "Morning Joe.”

And this week he's like "Oh yeah I don't have time to watch TV." Bullshit!


Trump watches so much TV - and Fox News in particular - an organization that denies it's the mainstream media, even though they aren't the mainstream media. It’s like that scene in that movie Captain Phillips where the guys took over the ship and are like “I am the captain now!”. Own it - Fox, you, along with Infowars and Breitbart - are the mainstream media now! I mean you and our president are trying to deny this whole Russia thing ever happened! God could they be any dumber? Well there is Donald Trump Jr.

Days after Donald Trump Jr. hosted a group of Russians at Trump Tower promising to deliver damaging information on the Democratic National Committee and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, a hacker believed connected to the Russian government released a trove of documents online ― including ones that sound similar to those reportedly provided to Trump Jr.

Ranit Akhmetshin, a Russian American lobbyist and former Soviet counterintelligence officer, told The Associated Press on Friday he took part in the meeting on June 9, 2016, along with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya. Akhmetshin said Veselnitskaya brought a folder full of documents, which he said she left behind after the meeting.

The documents detailed the Democratic National Committee’s finances and funding sources, some of which Veselnitskaya described as unlawful, Akhmetshin told the AP.


Yeah so once again it all comes back to Russia. By the way I love that Stephen Colbert took the time to make his own video called “Collusion”:

That was awesome. But of course Trump Jr is lashing out and calling this thing “nonsense”:

Donald Trump Jr. on Tuesday morning lashed out at the furor over his contact with a Russian lawyer during the height of the campaign, calling it a "nonsense meeting."

“Media & Dems are extremely invested in the Russia story,” he wrote. “If this nonsense meeting is all they have after a yr, I understand the desperation!”

Trump Jr. recently came under fire after the New York Times revealed the June 2016 meeting, in which the Kremlin-linked lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, allegedly pledged to share damaging information about Hillary Clinton. He has denied any wrongdoing and has defended himself via Twitter multiple times since the story broke Saturday. However, his explanation about the circumstances of the meeting shifted over the weekend.

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), the lead Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, said on "Morning Joe" on Tuesday that Trump Jr.'s various narratives about the meeting “does not inspire a lot of confidence” in his statements.

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/11/donald-trump-jr-responds-russia-lawyer-240396

Yeah so he’s calling this whole thing “nonsense” and a “nothing burger”. But what about a nothing burger with a side of treason, Donny?

Donald Trump Jr. took to Twitter Tuesday morning to slam the media for being “extremely invested” in the story of his father’s campaign potentially colluding with Russia to influence the 2016 election, following news that Trump Jr. met with a Kremlin-linked lawyer last year on the premises of getting information that would be helpful to the campaign.

Trump Jr., White House adviser Jared Kushner and then-campaign manager Paul Manafort met with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya at Trump Tower not long after President Donald Trump secured the Republican nomination. The lawyer has since denied that she told Trump Jr. that she had promised compromising information on Hillary Clinton.

The President’s son attacked the media two days after the news broke, saying the press must be desperate to cover the Russia story if “this nonsense meeting is all they have” after a year.

Ah where you been man? Thanks, waiter, I definitely need a drink right now. There’s so much bullshit with this that it’s hard to keep up. I mean it’s funny that Infowars is a website by and for conspiracy theorists, and there’s an actual conspiracy unfolding before our very eyes!

Smoke, meet gun.

On Tuesday morning, there was a stunning development in the Trump-Russia scandal: Donald Trump Jr. confessed. In yet another bombshell story, the New York Times reported on emails showing that the president’s oldest son had eagerly accepted an offer of help during the 2016 campaign from what he understood to be the Russian government. Trump Jr., the Times disclosed, had set up a meeting with a Russian attorney in the hopes of receiving derogatory information on Hillary Clinton straight from Putin’s regime. As the Times was publishing this story, Trump Jr. tweeted out those same emails.

The emails reveal that top Trump campaign advisers Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner attended the meeting and suggests that all three Trump advisers colluded in what seemed to be a Russian government-backed attempt to hurt Clinton in order to help Trump win the presidency. This new development contradicts the long series of denials from Trump defenders who have claimed that there was no collusion, that there was no evidence Russian leader Vladimir Putin wanted Trump to win, and that the Trump-Russia affair is merely a hoax perpetuated by loser Democrats and fake news outlets.

I’d have a funny meme ready, but this picture of Trump Jr alone in the woods looking like he’s a rejected character from Dexter and that’s good enough:

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

We got to take a break from talking about all this Russia stuff because it’s making me very angry. There’s so much more that we have yet to cover but there’s only so much armchair journalism one can do! But first… we got to talk about Trump’s friend Jim. Yes this is a thing.

I mean really…have we ever had a president with an imaginary friend before? This is kind of sad. Or in Trump’s own words… SAD! Here’s more.

WASHINGTON — For all things Paris, President Donald Trump’s go-to guy is Jim.

The way Trump tells it — Jim is a friend who loves Paris and used to visit every year. Yet when Trump travels to the city Thursday for his first time as president, it’s unlikely that Jim will tag along. Jim doesn’t go to Paris anymore. Trump says that’s because the city has been infiltrated by foreign extremists.

Whether Jim exists is unclear. Trump has never given his last name. The White House has not responded to a request for comment about who Jim is or whether he will be on the trip.

Trump repeatedly talked about the enigmatic Jim while on the campaign trail, but his friend didn’t receive widespread attention until Trump became president. For Trump, Jim’s story serves as a cautionary tale - a warning that even a place as lovely as Paris can be ruined if leaders are complacent about terrorism.

Jim’s biggest moment in the spotlight was during a high-profile Trump speech in February at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Maryland. Trump explained that Jim “loves the City of Lights, he loves Paris. For years, every year during the summer, he would go to Paris. It was automatic, with his wife and his family.”

So now let’s get into the heart of this week and talk about what Trump Jr’s father was up to this week. So you know about his quest to MAGA. And this week, Trump unveiled his plans for a “Made In America” week. Which actually is one of the better ideas he’s come up with. But when you consider his brand it’s a swing and a miss.

PISCATAWAY TOWNSHIP, New Jersey— Plagued by daily revelations related to the escalating Russia investigations, the White House has dubbed this week "Made in America week" as it tries to focus on issues that matter to the president's base and promote products made in the United States.

Speaking to reporters at a hotel near President Donald Trump's golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey, White House director of media affairs Helen Aguirre Ferre said Sunday that the White House will host a "Made in America" product showcase Monday afternoon featuring products from all 50 states.

The president also is expected to issue a proclamation Wednesday on the importance of making goods in America, and will travel to Virginia on Saturday for the commissioning of the USS Gerald R. Ford, a new aircraft carrier.

"For too long our government has forgotten the American worker. Their interests were pushed aside for global projects and their wealth was taken from the communities and shipped overseas," said Ferre. "Under the leadership of President Donald Trump, not only will the American worker never be forgotten, but they will be championed."

It sounds like a good idea in theory. Sure, let’s showcase everything made in all 50 states for “Made In America” Week. I have no problems with that. So what things are made in America? We could point to the Tesla Model S made in California. Or we could point to the Boeing 700 series aircrafts being made in Everett, Washington. Or we could point to central air conditioning units made in Indiana. But one thing that’s not made in America – Trump brand products! And that is why this is an epic fail!

An investigation from AFP found that Ivanka’s company brought in 82 shipments that went through U.S Customs in that time period. The shipments, over 53 tons worth of merchandise, included 2 tons of polyester woven blouses, 1,600 cowhide leather wallets, and 23 tons of footwear. One of those shipments came two days after her father hosted two dozen CEOs at the White House and lambasted trade deals like NAFTA for the loss of American jobs, while promising that his administration would make moves to bring millions of jobs back.

Christopher Balding, an expert on Sino-US trade relations at Peking University, told AFP it is “very hypocritical to make a policy plank and manufacture her products in China.”

There does not seem to be a slowdown in the plans, either, as a shoe factory in southern China has reportedly received an order for 10,000 Ivanka Trump shoes for next season.

The Trump family’s China-to-America pipeline is even more troubling as the shipment came ashore not long after White House counselor Kellyanne Conway used her administration role to push Ivanka’s fashion line during an appearance on Fox News. The free commercial from the White House resulted in a sales spike, as Trump fans rushed online to buy the first daughter’s outsourced wares.


Holy shit!!! 53 tons? How much bullshit are they hawking? And I bet it’s poorly made too. Even White House staff members think this is a totally ridiculous idea!

With the president’s domestic agenda derailed by Russian intrigues, family scandals, and legislative gridlock, the Trump administration has rolled out a series of so-called “theme weeks” to highlight purported achievements—or attempted achievements, anyway—in order to shift the national spotlight. The effort has, for the most part, been a failure: “Infrastructure Week” was overshadowed by the Senate testimony of James Comey; “Workforce Development Week,” which was touted by Ivanka Trump, was undercut by her father’s budget; and “Technology Week,” a Jared Kushner pet project, did little to distract from reports that the president had just come under investigation for obstruction of justice.

While Trump himself has demonstrated only anemic commitment to this campaign, the public relations effort continues this week with “Made in America” week, perhaps the most ill-advised and poorly timed of any of the White House’s branded weeks thus far. Companies from all 50 states have been invited to the White House to show off their American-made products and Trump is expected to encourage more companies to manufacture their products state-side, Bloomberg reports. Trump also has plans to head to Virginia for the commissioning of the U.S.S. Gerald Ford Aircraft carrier. “For too long our government has forgotten the American worker,” White House spokeswoman Helen Aguirre Ferré told reporters in a call on Sunday. Those workers, she said, will now be “championed” by Trump.

It’s all a bit jarring, given that both the Trump Organization and Ivanka’s fashion brand have a pretty poor track record of making their products in America:

But like everything Trump does, it is backfiring spectacularly on him:

President Donald Trump is set to declare this week “Made In America” week to help promote products manufactured in the United States, according to The Hill.

But he’s already coming under fire for the move, given that Trump-branded products are often manufactured overseas.

Many of Trump’s clothing items have been made in Mexico and China. During the campaign last year, his use of steel and aluminum from China became a campaign issue.

And just last week, The Washington Post reported on the fashion line of first daughter and White House aide Ivanka Trump, finding that much of it is made by low-wage workers in countries such as Bangladesh, Indonesia and China.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Donald Trump and well the Trump family in general don’t particularly have good taste in lawyers, and we mentioned that everyone has been lawyering up because there’s a whole metric fuck ton of people who are going to get in trouble over this whole thing, which is turning into a category 5 shit storm. But there’s one lawyer in the Trump inner circle who we need to pay particular attention to, his name is Rob Goldstone.

The email to Donald Trump Jr. described an intricate back channel between the Kremlin and the Trump campaign that could provide incriminating information about Hillary Clinton — and its emergence in the past week has cast a spotlight on its writer, the publicist who portrayed himself as the emissary in this sensitive task.

Publicist Rob Goldstone is a colorful figure, friends and former associates said, a bon vivant who posts self-deprecating videos on social media, hobnobs with New York socialites and sometimes uses bluster and hyperbole to open doors. The boutique PR firm he has run for 20 years with a partner has relied on a small roster of clients and piecework, setting up shop for several years in rent-free office space and neglecting to pay taxes some years in the 2000s, according to interviews and records.

Goldstone’s fortunes appear to have brightened in 2012, when associates say he took on his most high-profile client, Russian pop singer Emin Agalarov, whose Kremlin-connected family has done business with Donald Trump in the past. Goldstone, 57, appears to have since made at least 18 trips to Russia, one of them just days before he emailed Trump Jr. to arrange a meeting, an analysis of his Facebook profile shows.

Yeah I think even Saul Goodman would look at this case and go “fuck it”. I mean this guy looks like he was a reject from the Jersey Shore reboot:

Man I thought Rocky had put on a few pounds! “Yeah well you know he’s out of shape and… YOU WANT TO FIGHT THE FIGHT???? I’LL FIGHT THE FIGHT!!!!”. Now just like everything Trump does – here’s where it gets weird.

A new peripheral character in the Trump universe stepped into the spotlight this week: the entertainment publicist and former tabloid reporter Rob Goldstone.

This is the man who facilitated a meeting last year between Donald Trump Jr. and Natalia Veselnitskaya, a Russian lawyer and Moscow insider, with the promise of information that “would incriminate Hillary [Clinton] and her dealings with Russia.”

Mr. Goldstone, who runs the public relations company Oui 2 Entertainment, contacted Donald Trump Jr. by email on behalf of his client, Emin Agalarov, a Russian pop star whose father, Aras, is a real estate tycoon. Aras Agalarov worked with President Trump and Mr. Goldstone to take the Miss Universe contest to Moscow in 2013.

On Tuesday, Donald Trump Jr. posted images of his email exchanges with Mr. Goldstone on his Twitter account after learning that The New York Times planned to publish them. The meeting, details of which were first reported by The Times, took place on June 9, 2016, on the 25th floor of Trump Tower and was attended by Donald Trump Jr.; his brother-in-law, Jared Kushner; Paul Manafort, President Trump’s campaign manager at the time; and Mr. Goldstone.

So let’s show that, shall we?


Seriously this guy is like every bad improv character you’ve ever seen! You’ve got Comrade Goldstone, you’ve got pilot Goldstone, you’ve got the bad Yakov Smirnov impersonation, you’ve got Astronaut Goldstone… there’s Flavor Flav Goldstone…

There’s Miss Universe Goldstone:

There’s Redneck Tourist Goldstone With An Offensive Hat:

There’s even more!

I could go on and on! But we’re still not done:

Here’s what we know about the man who allegedly made it all happen:

Goldstone, who arranged the June 9, 2016 meeting with Donny and Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya, was born in Manchester, England. According to the bio on his company’s website, he started his career as a journalist and in 1986, “relocated to Sydney after being chosen by Michael Jackson to accompany him exclusively on his 1999 Australian tour.” From there, Goldstone founded Crawford Goldstone Publicity and represented artists touring Australia, among others, Cyndi Lauper, Julio Iglesias, James Taylor, Tracy Chapman, BB King, UB40, Marianne Faithful, U2, and Poison. Today, he runs public relations firm Oui 2 Entertainment, where one of his clients is Russian pop star Emin Agalarov.

According to the B.B.C., Agalarov’s father is Aras Agalarov, a real estate developer based in Moscow, who was Trump’s business partner in bringing the Miss Universe competition there in 2013 (Goldstone was a judge for the pageant last year). Per the B.B.C., Aras Agalarov also worked with Trump to bring a Trump Tower to Moscow, though the project didn’t pan out.

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[font size="8"]Jeff Sessions & Donald Trump
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Yeah so the GOP is always quick to scream “religious freedom!!!!!1!” and “free speech!!!!1!”, and they’re playing a very dangerous game right now with the first amendment. So much that remember that dolt who wanted to take her case about serving a gay customer to SCOTUS? Well…

Monday marks the two-year anniversary of a historic Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide, but a controversial case on “religious freedom” is drawing criticism from Iowa LGBTQ supporters.

The U.S. Supreme Court announced Monday that it would rule on a case out of Colorado where a baker refused to make a wedding cake for a same-sex couple.

The ruling could affect similar cases nationwide.

Star runs Creation Cakes Bakery out of her home in Des Moines.

Star said she is a Christian but that she works with same-sex couples.

“I don't necessarily agree with the same-sex (marriage),” Star said. “If they would put ‘union,’ that's ok. I'm not so sure I like the word wedding, but that's them. That’s me. We each have our own opinion.”


You’re not even sure about the word “wedding”? Then what the fuck are you doing in the WEDDING industry, dumbass? It’s right there in the name!!! And that should give you some idea of what spirituality is like in the Trump White House. You know they love to do everything closed door and off camera. Well, it should be no surprise that he takes religion that way too – by inviting the most extremist people possible!

Ralph Drollinger is no stranger to controversy. The evangelical pastor has drawn plenty of criticism for his outrageous statements since he started leading a Bible study for congressional members in 2010. The far right extremist has called homosexuality an “abomination,” characterized Catholicism as a false religion, and admonished female lawmakers who continue to work after having children.

Now, he has expanded his Bible study to include most members of Donald Trump’s cabinet. As an outside group that holds events inside a Congressional building, they must be sponsored by an elected official. Vice President Mike Pence, Secretaries Betsy DeVos, Ben Carson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Perry, Tom Price, and Attorney General Jeff Sessions are all current “sponsors” of the Bible study.

“Do not be deceived by syncretistic, ‘prayer breakfasts:’ God only hears the prayers of leaders and citizens who are upright, who live righteously through faith in Jesus Christ,” Drollinger’s written Bible study for July 10 reads. “Scripture is clear; those who are at enmity with Him – who passively or actively reject the Son of God – their prayers are worthless and go unheard. And the State suffers for want of His blessing. The righteous leader is a man of potent prayer.”

RIP Religious Freedom. 1791 – 2017. You will be missed. So what did Premier Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions do that violated the first amendment? Why you get a bunch of religious zealots to the White House! This is almost going to be kind of a “Choose Your Own Adventure”, if you will. But here’s what Jeff Sessions did.

The transcript of a speech that Attorney General Jeff Sessions gave to a right-wing legal advocacy group behind closed doors has finally been revealed.

Conservative news site the Federalist reported Thursday that Sessions told the Alliance Defending Freedom—known for its extreme stance on gay rights including comparing homosexuality to bestiality—that religion in the U.S. is under attack and that the American government was not intended to “get between God and man.”

Since Sessions spoke to the closed door meeting earlier this week news organisations—including Newsweek—have asked the Department of Justice for a transcript, commonly distributed after senior White House officials give public speeches, but requests have been ignored. Now the speech has appeared, printed in full, in the Federalist.

In it, Sessions says: “In recent years, many Americans have felt that their freedom to practice their faith has been under attack. This feeling is understandable.”

“A lot of people are concerned about what this changing cultural climate means for the future of religious liberty in this country,” he added. “The challenges our nation faces today concerning our historic First Amendment right to the 'free exercise' of our faith have become acute.”


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So our attorney general sees the need to address religious hate groups to feed them the big lie that religion is under attack. Nobody is attacking your religion or beliefs, you crybaby. And why closed doors? The Trump Administration sure does love them some closed door action don’t they? Thank you! But of course he thanked them for “doing the lord’s work”. If hate is the Lord’s work, is the Lord a heartless asshole?

Attorney General Jeff Sessions applauded a conservative Christian organization known for its opposition to LGBTQ causes on Tuesday for defending religious freedom amid a “changing cultural climate.”

Speaking at the Summit on Religious Liberty in Dana Point, California, Sessions addressed members of the Alliance Defending Freedom, an organization the Southern Poverty Law Center has deemed a hate group.

Despite multiple news outlets’ requests, Sessions’ remarks weren’t released until conservative website The Federalist published them on Thursday. A Department of Justice spokesperson confirmed the validity of the transcript to HuffPost on Friday.

The attorney general opened his speech by thanking the Alliance Defending Freedom ― whose founders have said that “homosexual behavior” and pedophilia are “intrinsically linked” ― for the “important work” it does “to uphold and protect the right to religious liberty in this country.” The alliance sponsors litigation related to the First Amendment to protect religious freedom for Christians.

Yeah really that needs the Jesus facepalm. So Jeff Sessions courts the anti-LGBT hate vote. For that he got shredded by Stephen Colbert:

And next behind closed door #2 – we have Premier Trump. So he goes overseas to summon a giant orb:

And then back at home, he invites the fundie hate crowd to the White House – more people who shouldn’t be there. That we didn’t ask for and don’t want:

A group of evangelical leaders met with President Trump on Monday and laid their hands on him as he bowed in prayer while meeting in the Oval Office.

The leaders met with Jennifer Korn, deputy director and liaison from the White House, for a day-long meeting to discuss several issues, including the Affordable Care Act, religious freedom, pending judicial nominees, criminal justice reform and support for Israel. During their visit the leaders paid a visit to the Oval Office where Vice President Pence and Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, dropped in.

About 30 leaders received invitations to the White House around a week and a half ago and included many of Trump’s faith advisory council from his campaign, including Florida megachurch pastor Paula White, South Carolina megachurch pastor Mark Burns, former Republican representative Michele Bachmann and Southern Baptist pastors Jack Graham, Ronnie Floyd and Robert Jeffress.

Asking Paula White for advice on religion would be like asking the guys from Jackass about personal injury attorneys. You know there’s better people that you could ask about the subject, but just because they hurt themselves all the time doesn't mean that they're the first person you should ask! Thank you! And some say that Trump’s meeting bordered on heresy:

Being president of the United States is hard, and one could argue that the person sitting in the Oval Office needs all the help he can get —earthly or divine.

Donald Trump was prayed for on the campaign trail. Barack Obama called his Christian faith "a sustaining force." And George W. Bush began his second term with prayer and reflection at Washington National Cathedral.

But an image of evangelical pastors laying hands on and praying over President Trump last week has struck an especially visceral chord with critics of Trump and his policies.

The religious leaders in the Oval Office said they were praying for God to give Trump guidance, supernatural wisdom and protection.

Ooh, this gets a rare Faithpalm! But here’s something fucking scary that needs to be reiterated – did you know that Trump’s god squad is forming an alliance with Putin? This is some scary shit!!

As evidence continues to emerge of Russia’s alleged attempts at the direction of Vladimir Putin to disrupt the 2016 election through nefarious means, President Donald Trump has endured fiery criticism from all sides regarding his ties to the authoritarian leader. In addition to an avalanche of progressive detractors, Republican senators such as Lindsay Graham (R-SC) have expressed unease about the connection, and Pope Francis declared the budding alliance between the U.S. and Russia “dangerous.”

But as Trump prepared for his first face-to-face meeting as president with Putin this past weekend, his attempt to thaw relations with Moscow was blessed by a seemingly unusual source: Rev. Franklin Graham, a prominent member of the Religious Right and the son of evangelist Billy Graham. Days before the meeting, the younger Graham — a longtime Trump supporter who led a prayer at the president’s inauguration — published a Facebook post voicing optimism about a potential Trump-Putin partnership.

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[font size="8"]Kid Rock
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Yeah we needed some music for this. You know the White House dinner guest that nobody asked for or wanted is running for Senate. Yes he’ll probably win. Yes, we are truly, truly fucked. So here’s why Kid Rock is running – he says that it’s because – any guesses anyone? Anyone?

Kid Rock, the singer whose career has spanned rap, hard rock and country music, is fueling the speculation that he intends to announce a bid for the U.S. Senate next year to challenge incumbent Democrat Debbie Stabenow of Michigan. That is unless it's all a publicity stunt.

In a post on his personal website Thursday evening, the 46-year-old singer wrote, "Like politicians write books during their campaigns, I'm planning on putting out music during mine and IT ALL STARTS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT." On Friday, Kid Rock announced he is releasing two new songs.

The post continued, "Senator Stabenow and I do share a love of music, although probably not the same kind. I concede she is better at playing politics than I am so I'll keep doing what I do best, which is being a voice for tax paying, hardworking AMERICANS..."

OK wait – so Kid Rock is running for Senate *AFTER* announcing the release of two new songs? I mean seriously what’s next? Governor Larry The Cable Guy? Well, he was at least a health inspector. You know for the party that says celebrities shouldn’t be involved in politics – they sure do run a lot of celebrities don’t they? Seriously – they’ve had Ronald Reagan, Sonny Bono, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Donald Trump, and now Kid Rock. And even Caitlyn Jenner is thinking of running against Diane Feinstein! Yeah, good luck with that, Cait!

Caitlyn Jenner, the Olympic gold medalist, reality show star and transgender activist, is weighing a run for the U.S. Senate representing California.

“I have considered it. I like the political side of it,” Jenner said in a radio interview with New York’s AM 970 that aired Sunday, adding that she planned to make a decision within the next six months or so.

“I gotta find out where I can do a better job,” she said. “Can I do a better job from the outside, kind of working the perimeter of the political scene, being open to talk to anybody? Or are you better off from the inside, and we are in the process of determining that.”

Jenner has been in the spotlight for decades – first as Bruce, an Olympic athlete and the long-suffering husband and father in the Kardashian reality television empire, and then as the activist who transitioned to Caitlyn in 2015, becoming one of the most famous transgender voices in the world.

“I gotta find out where I can do a better job.” Really? How about… not doing this one, Cait? The level of hypocrisy really is too damn high! Hey you know Cait, I like the political side too, but I am in no way qualified to do that job! Which is why I do comedy instead. This is a comedy show! And by the way Cait – you were married to Kris Jenner! You should not be allowed to make any more important decisions! And especially ones that affect public policy! Thank you! Getting back on topic here. But seriously this couldn’t possibly be any worse could it?

Republican rocker Kid Rock coyly teased a run for the United States Senate on his social media this week. Though his formal candidacy is uncertain, in the age of a Trump presidency, officials – including Senator Elizabeth Warren – are taking the rocker at his word.

Rock (born Robert James Ritchie) was an early supporter of President Trump's, and previously supported GOP candidate Mitt Romney. But the Michigan native (who splits his time in Nashville, Tennessee), became politicized after Detroit filed for bankruptcy four years ago.

That summer, in August 2013, CBS reported that Rock gave roughly $1 million to Detroit-based charities that included $250,000 for an interactive music lab at the Detroit Historical Museum, ended a strike by the Detroit Symphony and funded a Made in Detroit Endowed Scholarship at Wayne State University.

"There's no place on earth, no city, with more style than Detroit city. Hands down, that's a fact ... you've got a blank canvas here," Rock said in an interview at the time on CNBC. Rock didn't hint about a political run then, but appeared invested in the future of the city. Now, it appears, Rock is serious about tossing his trucker hat in the next senate race.

Hey those Bawitda-Brats aren’t going to cook themselves! Yeah that guy is going to run for senate! That fucking guy! No, unfortunately that’s not an entry for “This Fucking Guy”. So let’s go through a few of his proposed policies, shall we?

On Gun Control
"Getting rid of them is not the answer. The guy who got Osama bin Laden was on Fox News. His daddy raised him in Montana, hunting, fishing. He got it from hunting. What that kid knows is fucking valuable. Shooting 200 yards is hard. To be able to make 1,000-yard shots? I'm glad we have some people like that on our side." – Rolling Stone, February 2015

On Gay Marriage and Abortion
"I am definitely a Republican on fiscal issues and the military, but I lean to the middle on social issues. I am no fan of abortion, but it's not up to a man to tell a woman what to do. As an ordained minister I don't look forward to marrying gay people, but I'm not opposed to it." – The Guardian, January 2015

On Freedom of Speech
"Rap-rock was what people wanted at the time, and they still love those songs at shows. But it turned into a lot of bullshit and it turned out to be pretty gay … If someone says you can’t say 'gay' like that you tell them to go fuck themselves. You're not going to get anything politically correct out of me." – The Guardian, January 2015

Ah, OK no PC? Check. Pro gun? Check. On the fence about gay marriage? Check. Freedom of speech? Check! So far you’ve got 3 for 3 there, Richie. What else?

On Choosing to Endorse Mitt Romney in 2012
"[I wanted to make sure he's not] just a rich guy who wanted to become president to out-do [his] dad. I know what it's like to want to be better than your father. Of course, I'm getting these 'I really want to help America [answers]' and I said, 'Cut the shit, this is my living room; this isn't going to leave here.'" – Howard Stern, November 2012

On Supporting Donald Trump in 2016
"I'm digging Trump. I feel like a lot of people, whether you're a Democrat or a Republican, feel like if you get Hillary or Bernie, or you get Rubio or Cruz or whoever, there's going to be the same shit. Has that much fucking changed when anyone's in office, whether it's been a Republican or a Democrat in office, in our lifetime, anyway? I haven't really seen this big, like, fucking change. Obviously some people fucked up. [Laughs] That's a long debate. My feeling: let the motherfucking business guy run it like a fucking business. And his campaign has been entertaining as shit.” – Rolling Stone, February 2016

Yup! There we go!!!! Ding ding ding!!! We have a winner!!!

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[font size="8"]Sean Hannity
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You know we here at the Top 10 have been saying for a long time that Fox News is essentially state run television. Well, this week, as our “President” refers to him as “Crazy Joe” and her as “Psycho Mika”, or is it “Low IQ Mika”, once again reiterated his stance that Fox News is state run television. Yeah so is Fox News state run television? Let’s explore this for a bit.

MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough’s ongoing feud with Fox News Channel’s Sean Hannity continued full steam ahead Monday.

The host of “Morning Joe” followed up a weekend op-ed in The Washington Post on ways President Trump is “killing” the Republican Party with a shot at one of the president’s staunchest defenders, likening Mr. Hannity’s coverage to “state-run” television.

Mr. Scarborough, who recently told comedian Stephen Colbert’s “The Late Show” audience that he was no longer a Republican, particularly took issue with Mr. Hannity’s coverage of Donald Trump Jr.’s meeting with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya.

“[The White House was] lying to the New York Times, lying to the American people, saying this meeting was just about adoption,” Mr. Scarborough said, The Washington Free Beacon reported. “Then the next day lying about the people that were in it, then going on a TV show that basically is state-run television and being asked at the end of that TV show, ‘Is there anything else that we don’t know about?’ And Don Jr. saying, ‘That’s it.’ And then the next day we find out that another person attended the meeting.”

So exploring this further, let’s take a look at an actual network that is vying to be state run television under Premier Trump. They’re called “One Action Network”, and you may not have heard of them, but they managed to land a huge star to their lineup.

One America News is an obscure TV channel struggling to emerge from the cellar of the cable ratings, but it is nonetheless one of President Trump’s favorite media outlets. It’s not hard to see why: On One America newscasts, the Trump administration is a juggernaut of progress, a shining success with a daily drumbeat of achievements.

One America — a tiny father-and-sons operation that often delivers four times as many stories per hour as its competitors — promises “straight news, no opinion,” promoting itself as the antidote to the Big Three cable news networks’ focus on punditry and the one big story of the moment.

But since its inception in 2013, and especially since Trump began his march to the White House, One America’s owner, Robert Herring Sr., a millionaire who made his money printing circuit boards, has directed his channel to push Trump’s candidacy, scuttle stories about police shootings, encourage antiabortion stories, minimize coverage of Russian aggression, and steer away from the new president’s troubles, according to more than a dozen current and former producers, writers and anchors, as well as internal emails from Herring and his top news executives.

Holy shit! So that’s where the pro Trump bots on Twitter come from? Hey those racist memes don’t write themselves! Thank you! Getting back to Sean Hannity for a minute – here’s what he said this week, and we may need some Sad Hulk Music and the whambulence!

Sean Hannity is now teaming up with President Trump in his ongoing attacks against Joe Scarborough, which led to a war of words between the two pundits on Monday morning.

Scarborough kicked things off on 'Morning Joe' when he referred to Hannity's Fox News program as 'basically start-run TV,' which prompted Hannity to unleash on Twitter.

Hannity went after Scarborough's hair, his burgeoning music career and then said that he was a 'sheep' who left the Republican party to keep his MSNBC job.

He also suggested that Greta Van Susteren was fired by MSNBC when she refused to do the same.


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[font size="8"]Ann Coulter
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So you know professional snowflake Ann Coulter. One of the original Top 10 Conservative Idiots and member of the TTCI hall of fame. Who as you may have heard, got bumped from a flight last weekend and went absolutely apeshit. In fact she’s still going. Ann Coulter, as you’re aware, is nothing more than your average schoolyard bully, only she’s got a publishing contract. And has published such incredible texts as:

Yeah. So that’s what we’re dealing with here, and sadly, that’s what Delta had to deal with this week, and you know that airlines have been in the news a lot lately for being unsympathetic. Well, after you hear what Ann Coulter did this week, you’ll actually take the airlines’ side!

Donald Trump is not the only conservative prone to Twitterstorms.

Right-wing columnist and pundit Ann Coulter raised hackles after an outburst of reactive tweets, in her case after a dispute arising from a seat reassignment on a Delta flight from New York City to Florida on Saturday.

Coulter’s tirade was sparked when the author was asked to move from a seat she had pre-booked in an exit row to a “less desirable seat, without explanation, apology, etc.” She went on to complain about the woman she said had taken her seat, calling her “dachshund-legged,” and later posted a picture of her.

So of course you take to Twitter if you’re a professional bully like Coulter is. What happened when she did? Well she posted such gems as this:


And then there was this:


And then there was this:


Aw, poor little snowflake! Someone needs a safe space! So we ask you – “WHO’S THE SNOWFLAKE????”. Why it’s none other than Ann Coulter! And there’s more to this madness! Is Delta the worst airline in America? Really?

It's naïve, I know.

But when I pre-book a seat, I expect to get on the plane and sit in the seat that I've paid for.

Airlines don't always work like that. Just ask the First Class passenger who says he was removed from his seat in favor of another passenger with higher status.

He said he was threatened with handcuffs unless he complied.

Which leads us to Ann Coulter.

The right-wing entertainer was seated on a Delta flight on Saturday when, according to her own Twitter-telling, she was told to give up her exit row seat.

"'Why are you taking me out of the extra room seat I specifically booked, @Delta?' Flight attendant: 'I don't know.," she tweeted.

And then she tweeted and tweeted some more. She declared Delta "the worst airline in America." She took a picture of the passenger who had allegedly been given her seat.

".@Delta didn't give my extra room seat to an air marshall [sic] or tall person. Here's the woman given my PRE-BOOKED seat," she tweeted, together with a picture of said passenger.

So to extrapolate – this is one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type of situations. So we’re going to play devil’s advocate for a minute and extrapolate this. If you take Ann Coulter’s side, you’re siding with Ann Coulter, and that’s never advised. On the other hand, if you take Delta’s side, you take Delta’s side. Most people are usually on the side of the passengers, right?

Conservative pundit Ann Coulter unleashed a tweetstorm on Delta Air Lines on Saturday night, complaining about being moved out of a particular seat with extra legroom that she pre-booked.

In one tweet Coulter refers to Delta as “the worst airline in America.”

Coulter had booked a preferred seat in the exit row with extra legroom and was moved to a different seat in the same exit row, according to Delta. The airline said it “inadvertently” moved Coulter from an aisle seat to a window seat in the exit row on the other side of the aisle “when working to accommodate several passengers with seating requests.”

Although Atlanta-based Delta has a mostly non-union workforce with pilots as the only major unionized employee group, Coulter asked: “Does your union hate you, @Delta?”

So here’s a few more gems.


And by the way, I love that someone put up a Go Fund Me page for Ann Coulter ,.

Yesterday an injustice happened to one of America's shittiest people.
Sure, she mocks 9-11 widows and black people getting killed by police officers and repordedly lives off a diet of the souls of fresh puppies.
But, she's an American and when Americans need help we step up! #MAGA #Snowflakes #ThisDoesntCountAsWelfare

Which by the way so far has raised $10:

By the way, I love that of two donors one preferred to remain anonymous! LMAO! And by the way Delta themselves responded to her madness by well, giving her the $30.

In a statement, repeated on Twitter, the airline criticized Ms. Coulter for “posting derogatory and slanderous comments and photos in social media” about its employees and customers. Delta said it was “disappointed” in Ms. Coulter and called her actions “unnecessary and unacceptable.”

The airline said it would refund her $30 for the preferred seat she bought, adding, “Delta expects mutual civility throughout the entire travel experience.”

She ridiculed the $30 refund, saying on Twitter that it cost her $10,000 of her time to select the seat she wanted, investigate the type of plane and periodically review seat options.

So here’s what Delta said:




And Ann Coulter still isn’t done by the way! In fact she tweets this this morning:


To which Chris Evans, Captain America himself, hilariously responded:


And let’s not forget while on the subject of Ann Coulter books, she wrote this one!

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font]

Hit it!

So you know people are people, and people are dumb. We did this segment last week after it had been long dormant, and there’s a lot of stupid fucking people out there. And not all stupid people are trump supporters, but all Trump supporters are stupid people. Thank you! So with that in mind we’re going to tell you strange tales of people being well, idiots. Because that’s what we do here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. We’re going to start with this story from Europe. We’re going to actually – Norway, the next stop on our World Tour. Yes, the land of the ice and snow is no stranger to idiocy. Here’s what happened:

A penis-shaped rock formation in Norway that was apparently knocked down by vandals last month has been restored to its anatomical glory.

Scaffolding was used to hoist up the protuberance, which is reported to weigh about 12 tonnes (12,000kg.)

The restoration operation was funded by a crowdfunding campaign which raised about 227,000 kroner ($27,000).

But tourists will have to wait a week before they can see the formation in order to allow it to fasten properly.

Cement, glue and metal fastenings were used to re-attach the Trollpikken, or "The Troll's Penis" to the cliff.

Especially when you read this story. And when you see the words “troll penis” and “restored to former glory”… what are you thinking? I know what I’m thinking! And yes, Troll Penis just got added to Lollapalooza this year. Next up we’ve got a couple of stories in Florida, because, of course it’s Florida. This first story involves the Cookie Monster as a drug dealer.

MARATHON, Fla. (AP) — A stash of cocaine hidden inside a Cookie Monster doll has landed a Florida man in jail on a drug charge.

The Monroe County Sheriff's Office said in a news release Wednesday that 39-year-old Camus McNair was arrested after a traffic stop in the Florida Keys involving a car with heavily tinted windows and an obscured license plate.

A deputy smelled marijuana odor after pulling over McNair's car, then searched a backpack in the car and found the Cookie Monster doll. The deputy noticed the doll seemed heavier than it should and a slit had been cut into it.

Authorities say about 11 ounces (300 grams) of cocaine was found inside the doll. McNair was jailed, with bail set at $7,000. Jail records did not list an attorney for him.


Aw… not the Cookie Monster! He’s fallen on some hard times since HBO took over the broadcasting rights to Sesame Street. Next up, we go to the town of The Villages, where a guy was arrested smoking pot not once, but twice, in front of cops… NAKED! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

A Florida man’s naked Sunday stroll was abruptly ended when he was tasered by deputies.

Justin Lee Guscinski, 30, of The Villages, was walking along a street naked just after midnight while holding a silver pipe and smoking marijuana, according to Villages-News.

Deputies approached Guscinski, who sprinted to his property and threatened them.

“You are on my property; I have the legal right to shoot you,” Guscinski allegedly told them, before shoving a deputy and running into the home, according to Villages-News,

Next up - there's this story out of (also) Florida where a guy called 911 to report that his cocaine was stolen!

A Fort Walton Beach man, who Okaloosa County sheriff's deputies say called himself a drug dealer, is facing charges after he called 911 saying someone stole his drugs.

Sunday morning deputies say David Blackmon, 32, identified himself as a drug dealer and told a deputy someone stole $50 and a quarter ounce of cocaine off the center console.

The deputy reported seeing the cocaine in the spot Blackmon reported it missing from. The deputy also said he found a crack pipe on the floorboard and a crack rock. The money was not found.

While on the subject of stupid criminals - there's this story out of Iowa where a guy robbed a pizza joint and then returned to fill out a job application!

According to Iowa City police criminal complaints, around 3 a.m. May 21, a man was standing in line at Falbo Bros. Pizzeria, 457 S. Gilbert St. Police said the man pulled about $1,800 cash from his pocket and paid for his food. When he put the cash back in his pocket, Cedric D. Johnson, 22, allegedly reached into the man’s pocket in an attempt to steal the cash.

Police said the man grabbed Johnson’s arm and the two men fought over the cash. The money scattered on the ground and people with Johnson tried to pick up what they could from the floor, police said.

Falbo Bros. employees took the combatants outside and the man told Johnson and the people with him that he would be calling the police. Police said the man was then knocked out by Johnson or one of his associates, who then fled on foot.

And here’s where fake news can too be dumb! Here’s another story out of Raleigh – Durham, North Carolina, where a plane heading to Charlotte, was evacuated because it was believed that a crew member passed some very bad gas… or was it????

Raleigh, N.C. — Officials at the Raleigh-Durham International Airport said Sunday that some crew members left an American Airlines flight complaining of eye irritation after another crew member passed gas.

On Monday, airport officials retracted their original statement, saying instead that there was a mechanical issue on American Flight 1927 from Charlotte to RDU.

According to an airport spokeswoman, after passengers got off the plane, the crew reported a mechanical issue that in turned caused an odor in the plane.

No passengers were on the plane, and no crew members were injured. The plane was back in service Monday morning.

Finally this week – remember that insane teenage girl Danielle Brigoli? You know the “Cash me ouside how boud dat?” girl? Would you be surprised at all to learn that she’s in trouble with the law? Well, neither are we!

The Boynton Beach teen who shot to Internet fame by challenging a studio audience to a fight when she uttered “cash me ousside, how bat dah” during an appearance on the Dr. Phil show was in juvenile court in Delray Beach on Wednesday.

Danielle Bregoli, 14, pleaded guilty to grand theft, grand theft auto, marijuana possession and filing a false report. Her sentencing is scheduled for July 22.

Bregoli went viral after uttering the catchphrase while appearing with her mother last September on an episode of the daytime TV talk show entitled “I want to give up my car-stealing twerking 13-year-old daughter who tried to frame me for a crime.”

When the audience heckled Bregoli she hollered, in her streetwise slang: “Cash me ousside, how bat dah.”



That’s it for this week’s edition of People Are Dumb!

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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #5: Germany
[br] [/font]

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want to know where we’ve been so far – France survived election rigging, Italy is batshit crazy, Greece is broke, Ireland has outer natural beauty and inner ugly, and England has that messy Brexit election.

[font size="6"]Germany[/font]

Next up on our World Tour 2017 is the nation of Germany. There’s lots of things that the Germans are world famous and internationally renowned for. Just don’t mention that one thing that happened in 1942! But what is Germany famous for? It’s the home of Bratwurst, sauerkraut, German babes, and the region of Bavaria – where the capital of Germany, Munich – is home to the original Oktoberfest! Germany is also the home to the world famous football organization Bundesliga – which features such internationally renowned teams as FC Bayeren Munich, Bourissa Dortmund, FC Shalke, Hamburger SV, and Boruissa Mönchengladbach. I hope I’m pronouncing that correctly. Germany is also one of the car capitals of the world featuring such world class auto manufacturers as Bavarian Motorworks (AKA BMW), Audi, Volkswagen, Porsche, and Mercedes-Benz. Germany is also the home to such world wonders as hilltop castle Neuschwanstein, Brandenburg Gate, and former site of the Berlin Wall, Checkpoint Charlie. Germany is also home to some of the world’s best classical composers including Beethoven, Shubert, Mozart, Brahms, and Wagner. As for modern music, Germany is also the home of the famous Rock-Am-Ring festival where this happened this year.

A rock music festival in western Germany, Rock am Ring, has been evacuated over a "terrorist threat", the organisers have announced.

Fans hoping to see German rock giants Rammstein streamed out of the Nuerburg arena after organisers asked them to leave in a "calm and controlled" way.

"Due to a terrorist threat the police have advised us to interrupt the festival," they said.

A bomb at a concert in Manchester claimed 22 lives last month.

Some 85,000 people were expected to visit the three-day festival, Efe news agency reports. It falls on the Pentecost holiday weekend.

The organisers said in a Facebook post they hoped the festival would resume on Saturday.

Holy shit! But Germany, France, and the UK all have that in common, and there’s nothing really funny about that. But there’s one thing that is funny that we can all make fun of – conservative idiocy! However, unlike our country, in Germany, when conservatives fail, they don’t get reelected!

After unexpectedly strong showings in Germany’s 2016 regional elections — the AfD took seats in nine out of 16 state legislatures and later picked up two more — the party seemed to falter. In February, they lost a third of their support in the polls, crashing from 15 percent down to 10.

Then came crushing losses for right-wing populist parties in the recent French and Dutch elections, defeats that led many to conclude that the far-right movements of Western Europe had hit their political ceilings and were now likely to slowly but steadily lose further support.

That’s left Europe’s anti-immigrant, nativist right scrambling to regroup — and to recast itself as a champion for Europe’s secular values. And what could seem, at face value, more in line with Europe’s progressive values than giving your party’s top spot to a 38-year-old lesbian?

But don’t think that Germany is quite the liberal utopia that everyone thinks it is. Germany is home to one of the most violent mafia gangs in the entire world – and got into a literal war with their neighbors to the south – Italy.

Ten years after one of the bloodiest mafia shoot-outs in Germany, Italian and German politicians and researchers gathered in Berlin to discuss how to combat such criminal groups that still have a solid presence in the Bundesrepublik.

On August 15th 2007, images were broadcast around the world of bodies, lying in their own blood, splayed across the asphalt outside a pizzeria, white sheets partially covering them from sight.

The photos weren’t taken in the mafia stronghold of Sicily, but rather in the west German city of Duisburg.

Six people were shot and killed that day amid a feud between two clans of the 'Ndrangheta organization, one of the most powerful mafia groups in Europe. And it was one of the worst mafia bloodbaths in German history, the scale of which has not been seen inside the country since.

But experts warn that this is not a sign that such organized crime groups have left Germany behind.

Now *THAT* is a Boss Baby! Thank you! So what else happens in Germany? You know Trump has been in German news a lot lately – and even they fear that Trump may divide Germany the way a certain German politician did back in the 30s and 40s.

IN THE aftermath of the G20 summit on July 7th and 8th, German politicians traded blows over who was at fault for riots by anti-globalisation activists that smashed up parts of central Hamburg. But a big global event in the heart of a city with a strong anarchist tradition was always bound to prompt protests. Officials’ deeper reasons for anxiety were different: Donald Trump and his attitudes towards Russia and Poland.

To some in Berlin, the president’s meeting with Vladimir Putin was a “Yalta 2.0”, a 21st-century equivalent of the summit in 1945 at which Americans and Russians divided Europe. Angela Merkel saw Mr Trump’s “back-slapping and face-pulling” display before the Russian president (as the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, a daily, put it) as undermining her efforts to confront Russia over Ukraine. An internal memo by the German foreign ministry summarising the G20 noted: “The summit went very well for Russia…As long as the US breaks rank, Russia can swim in the mainstream.”

So even the Germans have their fair share of anti-globalists. Maybe they aren’t so different from the US after all. Does Alex Jones reach a German audience? NEIN!!!! Germany’s also the home of the kick back – and supposedly one to South Africa! Here’s more:

Germany’s SAP will investigate allegations that its South African office agreed kickbacks to a company controlled by the country’s controversial Gupta family, as Europe’s largest software maker became the latest international company to be drawn into South Africa’s biggest post-apartheid political scandal.

SAP confirmed on Thursday that four of its South African managers had been placed on administrative leave and their mobile phones and computers seized as part of the probe, launched after South African press reported the alleged R100m ($7.5m) in kickbacks.

SAP allegedly agreed to pay a 10 per cent “sales commission” in 2015 to CAD House, a company ultimately owned by Gupta family members, to secure business from Transnet, South Africa’s state-owned port and rail operator, according to the reports.

Yeah they might take offense to that. Germany is also the home of the heist, as it was revealed last week that thieves in Berlin made off with €4 million in gold coins. Taking their cues from Trump are they?

German special police have arrested several people suspected of carrying out an old-fashioned heist of a €4m (£3.6m) 100kg gold coin in Berlin.

“We are conducting searches and executing arrest warrants in several places in Berlin concerning the break-in at the Bode Museum in March,” regional police said on Wednesday.

A spokesperson confirmed newspaper reports that the suspects arrested at two properties in the Neukölln district were members of an “Arabic-Kurdish clan” known to investigators in connection with drug smuggling, arms trading and racketeering.

The Berlin state office of criminal investigations tracked down the suspects through DNA evidence.

[font size="6"]The Verdict[/font]

Did you ever see the day where you thought that Germany would be the liberal utopia everyone thought it was? Well that day is here. It's not perfect - no country really is - but it's definitely much better than what we got in the US right now.

[font size="6"]Scorecard:[/font]

Germany is awesome. I’ve been there. They love tourists. They reject the Nazism and white supremacy which is becoming the new normal in the United States. They’re apparently surprisingly sympathetic to immigrants too.

Tourism: A
Culture: A+
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week, we’re going to head up to Scandinavia. Grab your skis and poles and hit the slopes as we’re off to the land of the ice and snow known as Norway!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]KMFDM[/font]

Folks my next musical guest is proud to represent their home country of Germany. They have their 20th album coming out on August 18th called “Hell Yeah” which is very anti-Trump. Playing their song called “Kunst” from their greatest hits album “Rocks”, give it up for KMFDM!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

Ed Note - BTW next week we will be moving to our new time slot - Wednesdays at 2:00 PM Pacific Time (5:00 PM Eastern Time). Stay tuned!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: San Jose Improv, San Jose, CA
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
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Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

July 17, 2017

15 States Use Easily Hackable Voting Machines

WASHINGTON ― In 2006, Princeton computer science professor Edward Felten received an anonymous message offering him a Diebold AccuVote TS, one of the most widely used touch-screen voting machines at the time.

Manufacturers like Diebold touted the touch-screens, known as direct-recording electronic (DRE) machines, as secure and more convenient than their paper-based predecessors. Computer experts were skeptical, since any computer can be vulnerable to viruses and malware, but it was hard to get ahold of a touch-screen voting machine to test it. The manufacturers were so secretive about how the technology worked that they often required election officials to sign non-disclosure agreements preventing them from bringing in outside experts who could assess the machines.

Felten was intrigued enough that he sent his 25-year-old computer science graduate student, Alex Halderman, on a mission to retrieve the AccuVote TS from a trenchcoat-clad man in an alleyway near New York’s Times Square. Felten’s team then spent the summer working in secrecy in an unmarked room in the basement of a building to reverse-engineer the machine. In September 2006, they published a research paper and an accompanying video detailing how they could spread malicious code to the AccuVote TS to change the record of the votes to produce whatever outcome the code writers desired. And the code could spread from one machine to another like a virus.

July 12, 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-5: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-5: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Wow, look at all you beautiful people! We are back everybody! So now we know what dictator to compare Donald Trump to! And I can’t believe I didn’t make this comparison before. In case you’re wondering, I refer you to Idiots #2-9 – yes that’s the end of our 5 part lecture series on Trump. I made the inevitable Hitler comparison, because that’s our go-to dictator. Everyone knows who Adolf Hitler is and what he did. Republicans love them some Hitler comparisons, don’t they? As Lewis Black pointed out a couple of years ago, Glenn Beck uses more footage of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel does! But it turns out they’ve been wrong the whole time. Shit, I’ve been wrong the whole time. In short, don’t make Hitler comparisons when talking about Trump. Here’s who you should be talking about when referring to Trump. can we show that?

Yes!!!! Steve Bannon pictures himself as Napoleon! Yes, hallelujah! Finally enough evidence that the Trump administration is completely full of shit! The mystery has been solved! And Trump has been known to *allegedly* have tiny hands too! OK, enough of that. We got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver did a major expose of broadcasting giant Sinclair Media, and it’s one of his best pieces yet:


So where do we begin this week? Well, the top two slots this week are going to go to Donald Trump, because of course they are. This week, the top slot is going to Donald Trump. In the first slot we’re going to talk about the second leg of Trump’s World Deplorable Tour 2017 where he went to Poland during the G20 summit. In the second slot we’re going to talk about how his son may have leaked some potentially damaging and treasonous information. In the number 3 slot is Donald Trump Supporters (3). Did CNN blackmail a 15 year old over Trump’s wrestling tweet? The answer is no, and especially when you find out what really happened, it’s an absolute epic fail. But that’s not before CNN got bombarded with hate speech memes and death threats from the “peaceful” right. Taking the fourth slot is one of our all time favorite punching bags here at the Top 10 – Martin Shkreli (4). Yes, Pharma Douche is back in the news because the jury selection for his fraud trial began. And wait until you hear what some of the potential jurors had to say! Trust me, you're going to love this as much as I do! In the number 5 slot we’re going to do something a bit different. We’re going to bring back one of our favorite features – the Top 10 Home Shopping Network (5). Because when we were on break, a blogger discovered something insanely shocking that both Alex Jones’ Infowars, and Gwenyth Paltrow’s GOOP have in common – they both hawk the same bullshit! We will do one of our famous deep dives here. At number 6 is Alex Jones. So are child slave colonies on Mars a thing? We will find out! Taking slot number 7 is Chris Christie. Yes, we’re going to tell you how America’s worst governor and Donald Trump stage prop spend his July 4th, and you’re not going to like it. At number 8 is Steve Green (8). You may not know who Steve Green is exactly, he’s the CEO of a little chain called Hobby Lobby. Yes the same Hobby Lobby that lobbied SCOTUS to be able to discriminate employees who want to use birth control on religious grounds. Well, we can’t wait to tell you why he’s in trouble this week. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!!) slot, we’re going to bring back an old favorite feature – People Are Dumb (9), because there’s a lot of stupid fucking people out there. Who are not just limited to United States elected officials. Finally this week – we’re hitting the next stop of our World Tour 2017. And this time we’re going to Merry Old England. We will tell you more of the insane Brexit situation and British politics are even crazier than you would ever imagine. Plus we’re going to do something a bit different with our musical guests. From here until the end of the season, wherever possible, we are going to have musicians and bands on that are best associated with each country we visit. So for our first act – we have someone who I think you are going to like. A small, independent band by the name of, oh, I don’t know, Iron Maiden! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Buy their new album “The Book Of Souls” now or you’re no friend of this show. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

That happened! So Trump may be the president, but he’s still a loser. Last week, he was on the second leg of his World Deplorable Tour 2017. And this time he went to Poland. Of course, I could point out the last time a crazy wannabe dictator with a messianic complex went to Poland, but we’re on a schedule, we don’t have that kind of time. So here’s the most fucked up thing about this whole G20 summit visit – and we’ll get to the Putin meeting later. But we might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one.


Donald Trump didn’t exactly earn a unanimously warm welcome during his first trip to Europe as president in May. To ensure that his second visit starts off on a far more positive note this week, considerable measures are being taken, including those borrowed straight from the Communist Party playbook.

Ahead of making his way to Germany for the start of the G-20 summit Friday, Trump will land in Poland Wednesday and is guaranteed a rapturous reception: Supportive crowds literally will be bused in to cheer for him.

Worst party bus ever, by the way! And here’s the even more fucked up thing – Poland obviously believes the same bullshit that we do! Is there a Fox News affiliate in Poland?

Trump will find a rare European friend in Poland, a country governed by its own nationalistic government and encouraged by the new U.S. president’s intention to shake up the global political order. Defense Minister Antoni Macierewicz said that, like Trump, Poland’s government was being attacked by “liberals, post-communists, lefties and genderists.” He added that Trump was “a man who is changing the shape of the world’s political scene.”

Aw………… Trumpy made a friend!!!

Thanks Trumpy! But we still haven’t got to the heart of the matter yet. Apparently, the Pols are not known for getting American history right. And it was full on in display this week:

Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit!! Do they not understand that this is pretty much our equivalent of flying the Nazi flag? Seriously? Wow! Switching subjects, for a minute, before we get into the meat of this, we got to show what Mike Pence did.

It’s like Peter Griffin is in charge!

But this might be the saddest part of the whole G20 summit. Trump was often seen angry and alone – as Trump himself would say – it’s really very sad, OK?

For the second time in a matter of days, the Great Embarrassment — otherwise known as President Donald Trump — was caught on camera looking confused as he aimlessly wandered around, unclear about what he was doing.

On July 4, video emerged of a confused Trump exiting Air Force one and wandering off instead of entering the limousine that was literally right in front of the plane. He had to be directed back to the vehicle.

The second incident where Trump appeared to be confused was just after finishing his speech in Warsaw, Poland.

Trump looked as if he didn’t know where to go.

It’s understandable he’d look to his many handlers for some kind of direction if he wasn’t sure of his next move. Instead, he slowly and aimlessly walked away from the podium, adjusted his suit jacket and stared awkwardly into the crowd. Sad.

But Trump was often seen alone at the G20. You know, like that kid who is picked last for football, and rather than play he says "fuck it", and spends recess playing Angry Birds on the bench. Can we show that picture? You know – can we show that picture?

Forget the Sad Hulk Music – this needs something much sadder!

Thank you! And here’s how wrong Trump is when it comes to things. The president of Poland often had to correct Trump on international trade. Oh yeah he’s wrong on everything! But why do you trust him, Poland??? You’ve been invaded by ruthless dictators before!

Donald Trump’s understanding of international trade deals has been called into question by Poland’s President after he seemingly misunderstood the scope of US influence on export pricing.

Andrzej Duda was forced to correct Mr Trump during a joint press conference as part of the US leader’s second foreign visit.

The former real estate mogul joked that the US would be able to influence the pricing for Liquid Natural Gas (LNG) exports.

But why does Poland love Trump so much that they’re willing to bend to our bullshit?

Thus far, Donald Trump has governed as a typical Republican president, with the usual suite of tax cuts, deregulation, and conservative nominees for the federal bench. The difference is that unlike his predecessors, Trump isn’t rooted in the tenets of conservativism. Indeed, as a man of id and impulse, it’s hard to say he’s rooted in anything. To the extent that he does have an ideology, it’s a white American chauvinism and its attendant nativism and racism. It was the core of his “birther” crusade against Barack Obama—the claim that for reasons of blood and heritage, Obama couldn’t be legitimate—and the pitch behind his campaign for president. Trump would restore American greatness by erasing the racial legacy of Obama’s presidency: the Hispanic immigration, the Muslim refugees, the black protesters.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

The sad thing is we only get 10 entries per week. I’d love to talk about the trolls smearing John Podesta on Twitter. Or the epic failure that was the KKK’s armed march through Charlottesville, Virginia. Or Andrew Garfield talking about how watching RuPaul’s Drag Race makes him gay. Or Justin Beiber hanging out with Hillsong Church and “Dabbing For Christ”. Or more about Steve Bannon’s picture of himself as Napoleon. Or even the human Ken Doll claiming that he needs more surgery and his nose is going to fall off. Or Shia LeBouf getting drunk and then running and hiding. Or Emily Rajatakowski talking about her boobs preventing her from getting work. Or this fat rabbit!

Look at how fat that rabbit is! But we have to limit it to 10! And we have to talk more about our president Trump. Yeah he’s still our president, sadly. We might do a news dump next week. Before we get into this entry, we have to mention that Trump has a new BFF!




Uh… Ms. Lohan? You do realize that our president speaks poorly of everybody, right? I don’t even want to get into Trump’s latest twitter tantrum. It’s too insane to even begin to comprehend. We’ll have to save that for next week. In case you’re living under a rock, Trump met with Putin this week. It’s almost kind of like we’re watching Diary Of A Wimpy Trump. Trump has the vocabulary of a valley girl (apologies to Frank Zappa) and the social abilities of that kid who’s picked last for football. This is that part where the kid in the story gets sent to the principal’s office for creating mischief. Can we show that picture?

Whew, the tension between those two is so thick that you can cut it with a knife! Maybe a laser there was so much. Donnie, keep doing what you’re doing. But here’s more.

Russian state TV was unimpressed with Donald Trump in its coverage of the G20 in Hamburg last week.

The world leaders who assembled there and the U.S. President were all outshone by the real star of the summit: Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Dmitry Kiselyov, the notorious presenter of Russia’s most watched news program Vesti Nedeli on Channel One, began by setting a high bar for Trump and Putin’s first face-to-face meeting in Hamburg.

“People around the planet had been waiting for this moment and hoping for success,” Kiselyov said.

And it’s true – Trump can lie faster than you can fact check. I mean the guy lies like it’s a bodily function. And then someone had to go and release some incriminating e-mails! But guess what? It wasn’t Hillary Clinton as she has been accused by the republicans ad nauseum! It was none other than Trump’s own son Qusay Trump! it’s like the republicans do everything they accuse the democrats of doing! Can someone pass me some popcorn?

I do have to show this tweet.


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Did he drop the Freudian slip there? Remember when we used to call George Bush “Dim Son”? Well, Donald Trump is a dim son, and he may have an even dimmer son in Trump Jr. who dropped this bombshell:

Donald Trump Jr. acknowledged Sunday that he met with a Russian lawyer who had promised damaging information on Hillary Clinton in June 2016.

The news, which was first reported by the New York Times, represents the most direct suggestion to date of possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia, and it is the first indication that someone from President Trump's inner circle met with Russians during the campaign. Trump Jr. also brought then-campaign chairman Paul Manafort and Trump's son-in-law and now-top White House adviser Jared Kushner to the meeting.

But the information isn't just troubling because it suggests the Trump campaign sought out the help of Russians to win the presidency. It also contradicts a number of claims made by the White House, the campaign and Trump Jr. himself — claims made as recently as this weekend. For an administration and campaign that have repeatedly denied contact with Russians and had their denials blow up in their faces, it's yet another dubious chapter.

Holy shit!!! I mean the shit literally hit the fan here! How wrong could Trump Jr. be? And how many times did they tell us this sort of thing didn’t happen? Are they pulling Jedi mind tricks here?

Donald Trump Jr. has hired a lawyer to represent him in matters related to the investigation into Russian interference in last year's presidential election and possible collusion with the Trump campaign.

Alan Futerfas, a criminal defense attorney based in New York City, will represent the president's eldest son.

Donald Trump Jr. earlier responded to news reports about his meeting during the campaign season with Natalia Veselnitskaya, a Russian lawyer, suggesting that he did not do anything out of the ordinary.

News of the June 2016 meeting broke this weekend, and Trump said he went to to it after being told by an acquaintance that a person "might have information helpful to the campaign," according to a statement from him given to ABC News on Sunday night.

And he could be going down for this, and he might be bringing the whole Trump administration down with him! We could only hope!

Donald Trump Jr. is in a legal danger zone following his acknowledgment that he met during the heat of the 2016 presidential campaign with a Russian lawyer with Kremlin ties who offered to deliver damaging information about Hillary Clinton.

Democratic and Republican lawyers and political operatives alike say explanations about the June 2016 meeting from President Donald Trump’s oldest son are way out of step with common campaign practices when dealing with offers for opposition research.

But perhaps far more important, his statements put him potentially in legal cross hairs for violating federal criminal statutes prohibiting solicitation or acceptance of anything of value from a foreign national, as well as a conspiracy to defraud the United States.

Politically, by discussing such a sensitive topic that could prove embarrassing if revealed, Trump Jr. and the other Trump campaign officials in the room for the meeting with Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya, including Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort, may have also exposed themselves to future blackmail threats, the legal experts said.

So I suggest that Dim Son & Dimmer Son had better lawyer up because the shit is about to hit the fan! I mean he’d better hire some good lawyers. Lawyer up! It’s what the cool kids are doing!

Donald Trump Jr., the president's eldest son, has reportedly hired a lawyer to represent him as the Justice Department's special counsel conducts its probe into Russia's election meddling and potential ties between Trump campaign staff and the Kremlin.

Reuters reported on Monday that Trump Jr. has hired Alan Futerfas as his attorney.

The hiring comes after two reports emerged from The New York Times over the weekend about Trump Jr.'s meeting with a Russian lawyer who allegedly promised him damaging information on then-Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

According to the newspaper, Trump Jr. arranged a meeting with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya several weeks after his father secured the Republican presidential nomination.

While the reports in the Times described Veselnitskaya as having ties with the Kremlin, a spokesperson for Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday said the Kremlin does not know the lawyer.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump Supporters
[br] [/font]

It’s time for another round of our new installment:

This week’s “This Fucking Guy” award goes to a Reddit user who calls himself “HanAssholeSolo”, and we can’t quite figure out the meaning of this user name. Is he implying that Han Solo is an asshole? Or is he a Star Wars fan who is an asshole and loves Han Solo? Who really knows? Because last week, Trump tweeted out this bullshit:


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He is literally inciting violence with this tweet, but it wasn’t enough for Twitter to ban @realDonaldTrump. Well, CNN tracked down the meme.

(CNN)The Reddit user who initially claimed credit for President Donald Trump's tweet that showed Trump tackling CNN issued an apology Tuesday for the video and other offensive content he posted -- one day after CNN identified the man behind the account and attempted to make contact with him.

Reddit user "HanA**holeSolo" first shared the GIF last Wednesday of Trump pummeling a wrestler with CNN's logo imposed on his face. CNN could find no earlier instance of the GIF. The GIF was later edited into a video with sound and tweeted by the President on Sunday.
On Reddit, "HanA**holeSolo" took credit for inspiring the tweet. Soon after, "HanA**holeSolo's" other posts on Reddit, some of which included racist and anti-Semitic imagery, quickly circulated on social media.

Now the user is apologizing, writing in a lengthy post on Reddit that he does not advocate violence against the press and expressing remorse there and in an interview with CNN for other posts he made that were racist and anti-Semitic.

Yeah so HanAssholeSolo is a racist Reddit user who is responsible for racist and anti Semitic posts, and here’s where the mistake was made. As if we’re going to look to a user who called himself HanAssholeSolo for race relations. Here’s where the mistake was made. Of course it was picked up and taken completely out of proportion by Infowars correspondents and guys who watch Inglorious Basterds and root for the Nazis, Jack Posobiec and Mike Cernovich. This led to the alt right on Twitter collectively losing their shit.

CNN has become the recipient of white supremacist troll ire — all for investigating the origins of the GIF President Donald Trump tweeted attacking them last weekend.

After CNN tracked down the identity of the Reddit user who created the GIF of Trump bodyslamming Vince McMahon with their logo superimposed on his face, members of various right-wing Internet communities came together in what the Southern Poverty Law Center called a “rare moment of unity for the far-right.”

Initially, it was believed that the GIF’s creator, Reddit user “HanAssholeSolo,” was a queer 15-year-old Trump supporter based on a tweet by alt-right darling Jack Posobiec, but was later revealed to be an adult man whose sexuality remains undisclosed.

Nonetheless, troll hacker Andrew Auernheimer (who goes by the pseudonym “weev”) rallied the Daily Stormer’s “troll army” in attacks against CNN based on the false assertion that HanAssholeSolo was underage.

Although CNN has not published HanAssholeSolo’s identity after he published an apology and issued a promise to stop his trolling, Auernheimer led multiple far-right factions, including r/TheDonald, 4chan, the Daily Stormer and the “alt-lite,” in their own doxxing campaign.

Yeah the real Han Solo could easily kick some ass here. Except no one can understand what Harrison Ford is saying. “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfmfmmffmfmfmf Chewy we’re home Mmmffmfmfm”. Thank you! Now here’s where even further mistakes were made according to the same article.

“Just like CNN tracked down this child and used media exposure as a bludgeon against him for posting (truthful and funny) things that they don’t like, we are going to begin tracking down their families as a bludgeon against them for publishing (seditiously fraudulent) things that we don’t like,” Auernheimer wrote. “CNN, this is your one singular chance to walk back this behavior of public blackmail. You have one week to fix this.”

As published on 4chan, Aurnheimer’s demands of CNN include “the public firing of the KFile team, a denouncement of their alleged threats, a $50,000 college scholarship for HanAssholeSolo, and a public assurance that ‘he and his family will never be harmed by your organization.'”

So let me get this straight – why the fuck should this guy get $50K just because a bunch of online assholes say he should? CNN reporters were getting fucking death threats! And you can’t say that the left are violent lunatics when… YOU ARE THE ONES THREATENING TO MURDER AND BLACKMAIL CNN REPORTERS!!! God fucking damn it! Sigh… the alt right reached a new low this week. But we’re still not done yet. Of course Qusay Trump was involved behind the madness.

A wrestling GIF posted to Reddit last week by an alt-right troll has become the focal point of mounting tensions between the president, the media, and internet-bred ideological extremism, which have since prompted the trending hashtag #CNNBlackmail and escalating right-wing backlash against CNN.

On Sunday, July 2, in the midst of ongoing clashes between Donald Trump and CNN, the president tweeted out a video in which he symbolically beats up the media outlet in a wrestling match. Since then, the president’s public battle with CNN has escalated into a debate over how to treat online trolls who spread racist and violent hate speech — a debate centered on what many perceive as a veiled threat by CNN to dox the creator of the original GIF behind the president’s tweet, who was a member of Reddit’s alt-right hub r/The_Donald. As a result, many, including Donald Trump Jr., are accusing CNN of bullying the GIF’s creator, while glossing over said creator’s history of hate speech on Reddit before he came under public scrutiny.

I like that one! But HanAssholeSolo apologized and he’s instantly more classy than President Trump, Qusay Trump, and the alt right asshole brigade.

I would also like to apologize for the posts made that were racist, bigoted, and anti-semitic. I am in no way this kind of person, I love and accept people of all walks of life and have done so for my entire life. I am not the person that the media portrays me to be in real life, I was trolling and posting things to get a reaction from the subs on reddit and never meant any of the hateful things I said in those posts. I would never support any kind of violence or actions against others simply for what they believe in, their religion, or the lifestyle they choose to have. Nor would I carry out any violence against anyone based upon that or support anyone who did.

.... I do not advocate violence against the press and the meme I posted was in no way advocating that in any way, shape or form

.... So to the members of this community, the site, the media (especially CNN), and anyone offended by the posts, again I apologize. This is one individual that you will not see posting hurtful or hateful things in jest online.

But of course – this fucking guy had to weigh in and play the victim in this whole mess. I’m of course talking about David Duke. David Duke is now officially this week’s “This Fucking Guy”.

Former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke complained that journalists had terrorized him for decades after a reporter was flooded with death threats for exposing the “obviously racist” creator of an animation shared by President Donald Trump.

The president tweeted out Sunday an animated GIF depicting himself body-slamming CNN, and writing professor and journalist Jared Yates Sexton revealed the social media meme was created by a Reddit user called “HanAssholeSolo.”

That person made frequent racist and threatening posts on Reddit, reported Sexton, including one earlier this month identifying Jewish employees of CNN.

Duke responded to Trump’s tweet by justifying violence against journalists, who he accused of promoting violence against him dating back to his time with a neo-Nazi student group at Louisiana State University and as imperial wizard of the KKK.

Thank you Master Yoda! That is indeed why you fail. That’s this week for:

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[font size="8"]Martin Shkreli
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I’ll tell you who didn’t have a good 4th of July – poster boy for greed and winner of Maxim Magazine’s “Most Punchable Face” reader’s poll – Martin Shkreli. My producers are telling me that’s not a thing. And that picture we used was actually the cover for Andrew WK’s album “I Get Wet”. But for this piece we’ll pretend it was. So this week the jury selection for the Martin Shkreli trial began and well, it was absolutely crazy. Here’s more.

Not much Martin Shkreli has done the past two weeks has helped him in a trial that could put him behind bars for 20 years for eight counts of securities and wire fraud.

He was personally rebuked by the judge for speaking to reporters about his case inside the Brooklyn courthouse and on the streets outside where jurors could potentially hear him. He has mocked prosecutors on a live stream on his Facebook page and called them a "junior varsity" team to news outlets. One day, he strolled into a room filled with reporters and made light of a witness who had just testified against him.

And yet, despite the antics and his attorneys' acknowledging that Shkreli is an "odd duck," legal experts say the flamboyant former hedge fund manager is putting on a novel defense that may resonate with jurors.

At the heart of his team's legal argument is this question: Is his alleged wrongdoing worth a criminal conviction if his investors did not lose money?

Yes… let the greed flow through you! Come over to the dark side! Well here’s an interesting development in the case – the judge put a gag order on Shkreli because he won’t shut the fuck up about his impending trial!

NEW YORK — Federal prosecutors Monday asked a judge to muzzle so-called "Pharma Bro" Martin Shkreli for the balance of his ongoing conspiracy and fraud trial.

Raising concern that Shkreli's in-person and social media criticism and statements about the case risk "tainting the jury," prosecutors asked U.S. District Court Judge Kiyo Matsumoto to limit Shkreli's statements outside the Brooklyn courtroom.

As an alternative, prosecutors sought semi-sequestration of the 18 jurors and alternates who were seated last week, in a bid to keep them from hearing and potentially being influenced by any of his comments.

But here’s some of the potential jurors and witnesses for the case that could put Pharma Douche behind bars for the next 20 years.

Several potential jurors at the federal securities fraud trial of Martin “Pharma Bro” Shkreli were excused on Monday after telling the judge they couldn’t be impartial toward the flamboyant former pharmaceutical CEO because of his notoriety for raising the cost of a life-saving drug 5,000%.

At jury selection in a Brooklyn courtroom, US district judge Kiyo Matsumoto questioned the potential jurors at sidebars out of earshot from Shkreli.

One called him “the face of corporate greed”, another labeled him “the most hated man in America” and a third gestured as if wringing his neck.

Yet another was sent home after confiding that when she saw Shkreli sitting at the defense table, “I said in my head, ‘That’s a snake’.”

Opening statements could come as soon as Tuesday.

But this might be my favorite of them all – sure you can’t be impartial to a douchebag like Martin Shkreli who is seen here looking like he’s in a Rick Ross video:

But this might be my favorite of them all. I don’t know who you are sir, but the next time I’m in New York City, we should grab a beer!


"....More than 120 potential jurors were dismissed Monday from the federal court trial in Brooklyn, where Shkreli faces eight counts of securities and wire fraud related to his two hedge funds and the drug company Retrophin, reported the New York Times.
“I think he’s a very evil man,” said another woman. “I don’t think I can be fair. My opinion is pretty well formed. I wouldn’t want to serve on this jury.

But even jurors who had never heard of Shkreli seemed to hate him on sight.
“I looked right at him, and in my head, I said, ‘That’s a snake’ — not knowing who he was,” said one woman.

Another man just didn’t like the looks of him.
“He kind of looks like a dick,” the man said."....

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[font size="8"]Infowars And Goop
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You know we were on break last week, but I couldn’t love this next story more! Hey everybody! It’s time to open up the Top 10 Home Shopping Network!

Yes thank you fellow shoppers! We go live to the floor! So what do we have this week? Well, a blog based in Australia discovered something shocking about two drastically different websites.
On the left – you have celebrity lifestyle guru Gwenyth Paltrow’s venerable GOOP blog which hawks insane items like the Jade Egg and butthole steaming aimed at well, people with way more money than they do brains. On the right is psycho pundit Alex Jones’ venerable Infowars blog which hawks doomsday prepper merchandise aimed at today’s active deplorables. Let’s explore this further.

Near the end of a profile of Amanda Chantal Bacon, founder of the “wellness” brand Moon Juice, the New York Times Magazine noted that many of the alternative-medicine ingredients in her products are sold—with very different branding—on the Infowars store. That’s the site run by Alex Jones, the radio show host and conspiracy theorist who has said that both the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School and the Boston Marathon bombing were staged. Moon Juice is frequently recommended by Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness blog, Goop; it’s a favorite of Hollywood celebrities and others who can afford things like $25 “activated cashews.” Infowars, on the other hand, is a dark corner of the American right, heavy on guns, light on government intervention, and still very mad at Obama.

We at Quartz have created a compendium, from Ashwagandha to zizyphus, of the magical healing ingredients both sides of the political spectrum are buying, and how they are presented to each. We looked at the ingredients used in products sold on the Infowars store, and compared them to products on the wellness shops Moon Juice and Goop. All make similar claims about the health benefits of these ingredients, but what gets called “Super Male Vitality” by Infowars is branded as “Sex Dust” by Moon Juice.

Because GOOP will sell just about anything. Now here’s where it gets weird! As was said in the article – what GOOP calls “sex dust”, Infowars calls “Super Male Vitality”. I mean it’s absolutely insane what they can sell – and anyone will buy it!!! So here’s what is behind door #1:

Nikhil Sonnad at Quartz noted in an article yesterday that many of the same pseudoscientific products that are sold on Gwyneth Paltrow‘s website Goop are also being sold on Alex Jones‘ shop at Infowars.

And they said liberals and conservatives had nothing in common…

There are lots of examples of the same useless products marketed to the different audiences. None of them will truly help anybody. All of them cost far more than anyone should be paying for them.

But should we really be surprised by this? When you’re incapable of critical thinking, and you’re influenced by anecdotes instead of evidence, and when you don’t care what scientists and experts have to say, you can be duped into believing whatever people want you to believe. Jones wants you to believe his conspiracy theories and Paltrow wants women to stick jade eggs in their vaginas.

That’s right – the website that hawks the jade egg has something in common with the website that sells you body armor, water filters, and other doomsday prepper merch. Hey if there’s one thing everyone has in common is that we get sold the same bullshit, am I right? Well let’s show you just a few of the items you can buy all for low, low prices! All it takes is a phone and a credit card today! Here’s what is behind door number one – brain food!


Also an Ayurvedic herb, said to reduce stress, improve memory, and treat epilepsy, among other purported benefits. Goop uses bacopa in a supplement pack called “Why am I so Effing Tired;” Infowars sticks it in its “Brain Force Plus.” The science, based on animal studies, shows some preliminary—but contradictory—evidence of improvements to memory and brain function. There is minimal support for the claims about epilepsy and anxiety.

Goop: Why am I so effing tired

Formulated with a variety of vitamins (including a high dose of the B’s) and supplements—many sourced from ancient Ayurveda—this helps re-balance an overtaxed system. Replenishing the nutrients you may be lacking may improve energy levels and diminish stress.

Infowars: Brain Force Plus

Top scientists and researchers agree: we are being hit by toxic weapons in the food and water supply that are making us fat, sick, and stupid. It’s time to fight back with Brain Force Plus, the next generation of advanced neural activation.

And here’s what is behind door number two! Immuno bullshit!

Cordyceps mushroom

Another obscure fungus, this one used in traditional Chinese medicine. It is purported to “increase immune function,” act as a natural aphrodisiac, and improve stamina. According to Goop, it’s “an important Yang tonic,” which means it provides “masculine energy.” There is some preliminary evidence for the immune system thing, but other claims are unproven. Goop sells cordyceps as a dietary supplement; Infowars infuses them into its “Wake Up America” coffee.

Goop: Sun Potion

Organic, USA-grown cordyceps mushroom and is [sic] an important Yang tonic. May support the oxygenation of the whole body, mental power, muscle tone, sexual energy, and immune function. Mix 1/2 teaspoon (2 grams) in warm water or tea 1-2 times daily. Great added to soups, smoothies, raw chocolate, and anytime you are looking to activate fortitude, sensuality, and endurance.

Infowars: Wake Up America Immune Support Blend 100% Organic Coffee

Certain strands of mushroom such as Cordyceps and Reishi have a history of medicinal use spanning millennia in countries such as China, Tibet, and Japan. Throughout history these are [sic] some of the most expensive herbal raw materials in the world. Only recently has western medicine begun to research all the potential medical benefits of medicinal mushrooms. The cutting-edge Wake Up America! Immune Support Blend brings ancient Asian wisdom together with modern technology.

And finally behind door #3 – herbal bullshit!

Eyebright herb

The two sides of our herbal medicine spectrum seem to have come to different conclusions about what “eyebright” does for the eyes. Infowars sells it in a supplement called “Occu Power,” which makes your eyes “healthy.” Goop sells it as an ingredient in eye makeup. There is no scientific evidence for its purported eye health benefits.

Goop: Vapour Beauty’s Mesmerize Eye Shimmer

This is a sheer, modern wash of gleamy color that’s as brilliant all over the lid as it is when used as a translucent, smoky touch of liner. Made with organic chrysanthemum, eyebright, and horsetail herb—the blend is Vapour’s famous Herbal Eyebright complex—the creamy stick is hydrating and packed with antioxidants to treats [sic] the delicate eye area, soothing inflammation and stimulating circulation.

Infowars: Occu Power

Occu-Power by Infowars Life is a new formulation specifically designed to nutritionally assist the natural function of healthy eyes. Arguably the most important sense, sight is the primary input to the brain. Combining key ingredients like astaxanthin, lutein, and Eyebright herb extract, Occu-Power is a long awaited ‘super formula’ now available exclusively through the Infowars Life line.

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Sigh. Roll tape.

Yes. That’s a thing that was said. Which is why Alex Jones is our number one idiot this week. Don’t let him think I am not letting this one slide. Yes, so Infowars host and guy who has smoke blowing out of his ears Bugs Bunny style… just ponder that image for a minute, Alex Jones, said what might be the craziest thing he’s ever said. Let’s explore further.

President Trump conducted an interview in December 2015 with noted conspiracy theorist Alex Jones during which he praised Jones' reputation as "amazing," and the two reportedly remain in touch. (Jones' site InfoWars has reported, among other things, that the U.S. government planned 9/11 and that the Sandy Hook massacre was staged.) Trump's administration, meanwhile, appears to have distributed a February press release to InfoWars, and in May, the White House gave a press pass to an InfoWars "reporter." Trump's 2020 campaign organization also cited the publication in a mass email earlier this month, and Trump's son Donald Jr. has said that another well-known conspiracist (Mike Cernovich) now employed by the site deserves a Pulitzer Prize.

Unfortunately, the cozy relationship between Jones' operation and the current administration may now be in jeopardy: On Thursday, InfoWars accused NASA—which is part of the executive branch!—of running a slave colony for kidnapped children on Mars. From the Daily Beast's writeup of Jones' interview with an individual named Robert David Steele:

Yes so NASA somehow kidnaps children and forces them to live on Mars. And that there’s human alien hybrids living on Earth. Someone just watched Men In Black!

Yes they don’t know about it. Or do they? Well there’s more to this.

You might know Alex Jones as the guy who peddles conspiracy theories about politics and pizza. Or you might know him as the guy who was successfully sued by yogurt. But it’s easy to forget that he also believes some rather interesting things about NASA, the moon, and alien life.

Ever since Donald Trump entered the presidential race, the majority of Jones’s energy has been focused on pushing conspiracy theories about politics and the media into the mainstream. But Jones isn’t a very discerning conspiracy theorist, and his show from June 29th is a great reminder of that.

Media Matters for America spotted a clip where Jones and his guest talk about how there’s a colony on Mars where human children are sent to be slaves. Seriously.

WTF. I mean I thought Pizzagate was a steaming load of bullshit. Especially when it was revealed that Comet Ping Pong had no basement. Well, this might be a new low even for them! I mean this latest theory from Jones was so batshit crazy, off the wall fucking stupid that NASA had to respond to it:

The situation for human beings on Mars is dire, and not just because the red planet's atmosphere is mostly carbon dioxide and the average temperature is -81 degrees.

There's also the issue of the child-trafficking ring operating in secret on the planet 33.9 million miles from earth, according to a guest on the Alex Jones Show.

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” Robert David Steele said Thursday during a winding, conspiratorial dialogue with Jones about child victims of sex crimes. “So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

NASA did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

But Guy Webster, a spokesman for Mars exploration at NASA, told the Daily Beast that rumors about live humans on Mars are false.

“There are no humans on Mars,” he said. “There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are, but there are no humans.”

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[font size="8"]Chris Christie
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Did everyone have a good 4th of July? No limbs blown off? Good! You are smarter than the average Trump supporter!

I’ll tell you who had a *REALLY* good 4th of July – New Jersey governor and former Donald Trump stage prop Chris Christie. Who recently unseated Sam Brownback as America’s worst governor.

Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.) is the most unpopular governor in America, according to a Morning Consult poll published Tuesday.

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie had a tough 2016, and this year isn’t starting off any better for him,” the Morning Consult poll states.

The poll found that Christie, a former Republican presidential candidate, has an approval rating of only 25 percent among New Jersey voters while 71 percent of New Jersey voters disapprove of him.

According to Morning Consult, Christie’s approval rating “took a turn for the worse” in New Jersey after he endorsed Donald Trump for president in the Republican primary after ending his own bid for the nomination. Christie’s approval rating was also impacted by the “Bridgegate” scandal.

And you know why Chris Christie is the worst governor in America today? Well here’s how he celebrated his 4th of July!

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie uses the beach with his family and friends at the governor's summer house at Island Beach State Park in New Jersey on July 2. Christie is defending his use of the beach, closed to the public during New Jersey's government shutdown, saying he had previously announced his vacation plans and the media had simply "caught a politician keeping his word."

That's him and his family way down there, alone on the beach. Here's a closer look:

Later that day, Christie took the state helicopter to Trenton to hold a press conference urging the state legislature to agree to a budget deal. The impasse, in its third day at that point, had led Christie to suspend a number of state services -- including ordering the closure of state-run beaches.

Can we show that picture?

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dude I don’t want to make fat jokes here but fuck it. Chris Christie is a fat fuck!!! So he closes the beaches because of “budget cuts” (fuck you, Koch Bros!!!), and then he gets the beach to himself! USA! USA! USA! If a democratic governor had done that, the GOP would be calling for their heads! But guess what? If the budget of New Jersey is so tight, why the fuck does the governor own a beach house? That is the question on the table!

After some opportune aerial photographs showed NJ Governor Chris Christie sunbathing on a beach during a government shutdown (that closed state beaches), his lieutenant governor slammed him, saying, "It's beyond words." Now, Lt. Governor Kim Guadagno wants to sell the New Jersey governor's summer residence that launched a thousand memes.

A three-day government shutdown over how much control NJ can have over its largest insurer kept state facilities, like parks and beaches, closed. But Christie went ahead with his family plans to head to the NJ governor's beach house at Island State Beach and spend Monday on the otherwise closed beach.

The incriminating photographs, which Star-Ledger photographer Andrew Mills captured by hanging out of a private plane, reinforced a perception of Christie as an out-of-touch, unethical, lame-duck and petty bureaucrat.

But you know Chris, maybe this whole governing thing is too hard for you! Maybe you should seek a new career opportunity. Well he’s got one in the form of sports talk! Yes, your drive time morning sports show could soon feature America’s worst governor!

TRENTON, N.J. — New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is set to find out what a photo of him hanging out at a beach closed to the public means for his popularity and then audition for a new job.

A Monmouth University poll of the governor's popularity will be released Monday afternoon.

The Republican will then fill in for Mike Francesa on WFAN. The station says the appearances Monday and Tuesday are an audition as it seeks a replacement for the departing host.

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[font size="8"]Steve Green
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Hobby Lobby. That store you go to, to make decorative words say funny phrases like this:

But this week, actually the last 7 years, did you know that Steve Green, the CEO of Hob by Lobby, has been quietly sneaking out priceless, ancient religious artifacts out of Iraq? And this week, he got caught red handed. But the purpose – when you find out about it – will make your blood boil.

Hobby Lobby, the arts-and-crafts chain whose devout Christian owners won a landmark Supreme Court ruling on religious freedom, is caught up in an antiquities-smuggling scandal that has opened the company to accusations of hypocrisy.

The Oklahoma City-based business agreed to pay a $3 million fine Wednesday over its role in what federal prosecutors said was the smuggling into the U.S. of ancient clay tablets, seals and other Iraqi archaeological objects that might have been looted from the war-torn country.

Online, many people piled on, with more than one saying things like: "I guess the rules don't apply to them, like 'Thou shall not steal.'"

Hobby Lobby, whose president, Steve Green, has been collecting ancient artifacts since 2009 and is building an $800 million Bible museum in Washington, pleaded naivete in doing business with dealers in the Middle East.

Yeah this is definitely worthy of the Jesus facepalm. Because… Steve Green is the one who famously tried to argue to be able to discriminate against his employees own religious grounds – and he actually won!!! But how deep does this go? What was at stake?

In 2010, the president of Hobby Lobby spent $1.6 million on thousands of ancient artifacts that he hoped would help build a collection of antiquities related to the Bible.

There was one problem: The items appeared to have been stolen from Iraq, federal authorities alleged, then smuggled into the U.S. from the United Arab Emirates and Israel, bearing labels identifying them as “ceramic tiles” and “Tiles (Sample).”

The Oklahoma City-based arts-and-crafts retailer settled the claims with the government on Wednesday, according to a civil complaint and settlement filed by the Brooklyn U.S. Attorney’s office. Hobby Lobby will surrender the artifacts, pay a $3 million fine and adopt new procedures for buying cultural property.

In a statement posted on its website, the privately held company said its lack of familiarity with the “complexities of the acquisitions process” led to some “regrettable mistakes,” including relying on dealers and shippers who, “in hindsight, did not understand the correct way to document and ship these items.”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? 1.6 million??? And they got them smuggled out as “tile samples”? I’ve been to my local Hobby Lobby, I don’t remember seeing that kind of tile sample anywhere! But what purpose could they possibly be buying all of these artifacts for, I wonder?

Federal prosecutors said the deal was “fraught with red flags,” but Hobby Lobby President Steve Green, who traveled to the Emirates in 2010 to inspect the artifacts, continued to pursue the objects to add the Green family’s collection of historical Biblical pieces. The Hobby Lobby retail chain was started and continues to be owned by the family of company founder David Green. The Green family are outspoken Christians and in June 2014 successfully challenged the Affordable Care Act’s requirement that health insurance providers provide women access to contraception claiming it violated their religious beliefs. The Green family is also bankrolling a new $500 million Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C.

Ooh, he gets a rare Faithpalm folks! That’s even worse than a facepalm! But yeah he’s only building a ½ billion dollar Bible museum in Washington DC. That nobody will go visit. If the Ark Enconter’s recent financial troubles are any indication of Bible-based tourism”

Ham, of course. He wrote the article. And it includes all the deflections of responsibility that we’ve come to expect from him.

For example, Ham predicts attendance at Ark Encounter will grow in its second year. But only on one condition…

As both the Ark and museum add phases, the economic impact will only get larger. For 2017–2018, Answers in Genesis (owner of both attractions) confidently predicts that the Ark will have even greater attendance than our excellent first year — provided, that is, we see more entrepreneurs building additional hotels to accommodate our visitors.

A few weeks ago, he was blaming atheists for the economic failures in the community. Now he’s blaming people who aren’t building enough hotels in the area.

So a ½ billion dollar museum in an industry that is so desperate for attention that they’re actually writing their own articles blaming the lack of tourism for their attraction’s failures. What could go wrong? And why Washington DC? It’s not like there’s a separation of church and state or anything. But some good news – the museum might not happen after all after last week’s incident!

A federal court settlement that requires Hobby Lobby Stores to pay a $3 million fine for illegally importing thousands of ancient Iraqi artifacts is casting a cloud over the much-anticipated Museum of the Bible associated with the store’s owners just as the museum prepares to open near the Mall.

Hobby Lobby President Steve Green also chairs the board of the Museum of the Bible, and the Green family is the museum’s major funder. In a civil complaint filed Wednesday, federal prosecutors said that the craft store chain that Green leads had smuggled more than 3,000 items into the United States including clay tablets and seals –precisely the sort of artifacts that would be slated for the museum’s collection, which contains many items donated by the Green family.

By the way, did I mention that I found this at my local Hobby Lobby? I didn’t think it was possible!

I hear this thing melts people’s faces off when opened. In which case, Hobby Lobby might want to store it and the artifacts they found from Iraq here.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

There’s a lot of stupid fucking people out there folks. And not all of them are state representatives, and not all of them live in Florida. And a lot of them are Trump supporters. I’m not saying all Trump supporters are stupid people, but all stupid people are Trump supporters! It’s sad but true. Florida Man does have relatives! So last Tuesday was July 4th, or as it’s known by emergency room doctors “missing thumbs Tuesday”. So since you’re watching my show, you’re obviously smarter than that. Well, we’re going to make you feel even smarter with some stories of some incredibly stupid people! Starting behind door #1 –there’s this story from Oklahoma City where two guys fighting over which franchise was better – Star Trek or Star Wars – turned it into actual fisticuffs:

According to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, the cinematic dispute resulted in the arrest of Jerome Dewayne Whyte, 23, for the assault of Burke Bradley Warren, 19.

During the “Star Wars”/”Star Trek” argument, Warren “became so frustrated” with Whyte that he left the pair’s shared living area and went to his room. As he departed, Warren told Whyte, “You’re just a trick.”

That comment prompted Whyte to follow Warren into his room, where Whyte allegedly twice shoved his roommate to the floor and then sought to “choke out the victim,” police reported. While being strangled, Warren “went in and out of consciousness.”

Since police judged Whyte to be the “aggressor in this altercation,” he was arrested for assault and battery. He was also charged with marijuana possession. A post-arrest computer check revealed that Whyte had outstanding arrest warrants in connection with prior convictions for passing bad checks and child abuse. In both of those cases, Whyte failed to pay fines and restitution ordered at the time of his sentencing.

Thank you Master Yoda! Next there’s this story out of Michigan where a guy trying to get rid of bees burned his house down!

GRAND BLANC TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan man who tried to use fireworks to remove a bees’ nest from his garage ended up burning the building down instead.

MLive reports (http://bit.ly/2tHlHLT ) crews responding to the home in Grand Blanc Township on Monday saw fireworks shooting into the sky from the burning garage. No one was injured.

Grand Blanc Fire Chief Bob Burdette says the homeowner was trying to use a smoke bomb to get a bees’ nest out of the garage.

Homeowner Mike Tingley says that while he’s sad about his garage, he’s happy the incident wasn’t worse.

Next up in People Are Dumb – idiots with fireworks! More importantly – idiot teenage males with fireworks! I was an idiot teenage male once, but I never did this!

SKYWAY , Wash. - A 14-year-old boy, who took his parents' SUV for a joyride to get fireworks, wound up accidentally torching the vehicle outside the family's home Tuesday morning.

According to the King County Sheriff's office, the boy took the family's SUV without permission, picked up some friends, went to buy fireworks to celebrate the 4th of July then returned home.

Deputies said the boys were having a Roman candle fight, shooting the fireworks at each other in the front yard, when one of the flames shot through an open window on the family's SUV.

The boys were unable to get the firework out of the car before the dash went up in flames and fire engulfed the car.


Can we show the car?

Next up in People Are Dumb – of course we can’t have this segment without a few stories from our good friend Florida Man, can we? What do you do when you’re tired of walking? The answer – steal a forklift! Twice in this case!

July 3 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a man caught driving a stolen forklift told officers he was tired of walking -- and it wasn't the first time.

Port Orange Police said an officer approached Bradley Barefoot, 43, who was appropriately barefoot at the time, after spotting him with the stolen forklift.

"There was a male parked in a handicap spot with a piece of heavy equipment that had a mattress on it. The male was barefoot, talking to himself while swearing and throwing his hands up," WKMG-TV quoted the Port Orange Police report as saying.

Barefoot initially told the officer he took the forklift because he thought it was the same one that has been stolen from his boss in Alabama, but he later said he took the $38,000 vehicle because he was tired of walking and he noticed the keys had been left in the ignition.

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07/03/Florida-man-tired-of-walking-steals-forklift-again/7871499092746/

Oh come on, you know you fucked up when Captain Picard does it! What else we got? Oh how about this story out of Ohio? I mean come on if you’re going out prostituting, pick a less obvious spot than an America’s Best Value Inn. I mean come on, even that shady motel down the street that calls itself “motel” is a less conspicuous spot than an Americas Best Value Inn!

CLEVELAND -- Five women were arrested at about 8:30 p.m. May 24 after offering undercover Brook Park detectives and Ohio state troopers sex in exchange for money.

Two of the women, 27 and 23, were from Cleveland; two, 30 and 29, were from Garfield Heights, and one, 32, was from Columbus. They had been promoting their services on a classified advertising website and met the undercover officers in a semi-truck parked outside America's Best Value Inn, 14043 Brookpark.

A sixth woman, who accompanied the other five, was arrested after police found her with glass drug pipes, hypodermic needles and spoons. She was wanted in Warrensville Heights.

The arrests occurred during the NBA Eastern Conference finals between the Cleveland Cavaliers and Boston Celtics. Police said prostitution activities increase when out-of-town guests visit the Cleveland area for special events.

Read more: http://www.cleveland.com/brook-park/index.ssf/2017/06/police_arrest_prostitutes_outs.html

That one gets the epic facepalm! Finally from the Idiots With Guns category, there’s this story out of Pennsylvania – where a guy attending a protest at Gettysburg did this:

GETTYSBURG--A "patriot" who brought a revolver to Gettysburg National Military Park Saturday amid rumors of desecration of memorials accidentally shot himself in the leg Saturday.

Benjamin Hornberger, 23, of Shippensburg, accidentally triggered the revolver, which was inside a leg holster, when he temporarily rested the bottom of his flag pole against the holster, according to witnesses.

Park police were nearby when the shooting occurred and officers quickly applied a tourniquet that may have saved the man's life, said Sgt. Anna Rose, a spokeswoman with the U.S. Park Police.

The gun then went off a second time about 1 p.m. when police were trying to unload the weapon. The gun was pointed at the ground in a field north of Meade's Headquarters along the west side of Taneytown Road. A PennLive reporter witnessed the second shot, which occurred as visitors to the park milled nearby.

That is it for this week’s edition of People Are Dumb!

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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #5: England [br] [/font] [br]

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. We’re currently on the 5th destination of our World Tour. And we are wondering – is England the liberal utopia everyone thinks it is? Well they just had a recent election that was fucking batshit crazy. Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]England (AKA United Kingdom[/font]

Our next destination is England. You know – the United States wouldn’t exist without England, and now they are one of our closest allies in Europe. But maybe they won’t be after 4 years of Donald Trump as our president. . By the way, we’re proud to announce the new official beer of the Top 10 – Iron Maiden’s Trooper Ale!

*Trump voice* Buy American, OK? Yeah we will at some point! England is the home of such world wonders as Westminster Abbey and Big Ben. It’s also home to one of the world’s original natural wonders – Stonehenge!

England is also the home of some of the world’s largest automotive manufacturers. You may not think of England as a car capital of the world – but they’re home to exotic and more common cars that range from uber luxury brands like Aston Martin, Jaguar, Bentley, and McLaren, to SUV that your pretentious neighbor owns because it makes them feel like an explorer – Land Rover, to everyone’s favorite, the Mini Cooper, and GM’s Vauxhall brand. England is also home to the British Premier League and some of the best football teams in the world including Manchester United, Manchester City, Leicester City, FC Chelsea, and London’s Arsenal. But don’t go screaming that one team is better than the other or you will get your ass kicked. Also, don’t you dare call it “soccer” or you will get your ass kicked. Liverpool is home to the greatest band of all time, the Beatles and Sherwood Forrest, the home of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. London is also home to everyone’s favorite spy James Bond, and Monty Python, and it’s also home to British television. So many world class bands, musicians and entertainers come from the UK. Like Depeche Mode, Porcupine Tree, Yes, Iron Maiden, Jethro Tull, Radiohead, David Bowie, Coldplay, Blur, the Arctic Monkeys, Pink Floyd, the Rolling Stones, Black Sabbath, The Clash, I could go on and on, but you know what else Great Britain is the home of? It’s the home of some absolutely batshit crazy politics! I give you Lord Buckethead!

Some of the more unorthodox candidates in the British general election have captured the attention of election-watchers around the world.

Among those to have raised the most eyebrows is Lord Buckethead, who appeared alongside Theresa May on the podium as results were read out for the Maidenhead constituency.

Buckethead, a self-described “intergalactic space lord” whose real name is unknown, won 249 votes in the Berkshire contest. It is not the first time Buckethead has stood against a prime minister – a candidate with the same name took on Margaret Thatcher in 1987 and lost with just 131 votes. He also stood against John Major in 1992.

Yes that is Lord Buckethead and Elmo standing right next to British prime minister Theresa May. Who we can all assume was going “Seriously guys… this is a joke, right?”. Yes, that’s my best female British voice impersonation. But there’s been some interesting new developments in Brexit. The biggest one? It’s apparently going nowhere!

What would it take to make those who voted for Brexit change their minds? That may turn out to be the dominant question of British politics over the coming years, as the reality of the British exit from the EU comes ever closer. Even the most diehard remainers concede that the only way it can be halted is if British public opinion has a change of heart, collectively repudiating the verdict it expressed in the referendum of 2016.

That question might seem irrelevant when put to the conviction Brexiteers who led the leave campaign: surely they would be the last people to admit to a change of heart. And yet, now there is a suggestion that even the mastermind of the leave campaign is having his doubts.

I like this one! Also, remember the infamous Brexit Bus? Even he thinks it was a dumb idea! So the people of England who voted for Brexit are really having second thoughts about this whole thing!

One of the most enduring symbols of 2016's UK Brexit referendum was the huge red "battle bus" with its message, "We send the EU £350 million a week, let's fund our NHS instead. Vote Leave."

The bus served as a useful backdrop to such Tory beasts as Michael Gove and Boris Johnson. Independent fact-checkers declared the £350 million figure to be a lie. Within hours of the Brexit vote, the Leave campaign scrubbed its website of all its promises, and Nigel Farage admitted that the £350 million was an imaginary figure and that the NHS would not see an extra penny after Brexit (indeed, the NHS relies heavily on European doctors and nurses who would no longer be welcomed, and the billions the UK would spend on Brexit wouldn't be available for health care).

The bus was the brainchild of Dominic Cummings, Vote Leave campaign director, and shadowy sinister figure.

This week on Twitter, Cummings got into a debate with David Allen Green, in which he confessed that the referendum was a "dumb idea" and the UK's negotiations with the EU were a "guaranteed debacle."

Hmmm… second Brexit? Is that going to be any better than the first Brexit? I don’t know! But enough about Brexit, let’s talk some more about the interesting things that make up England. Like sports! In addition to the British Premiere League, England is the home of Cricket! Where this year the British DOMINATED South Africa in a championship match with a score of 375 – 5. Does the mercy rule apply here?

Arriving at the crease with England 17-2, the 26-year-old then saw them slump to 74-4.

But Root steadied the ship with Ben Stokes and then made hay with Moeen Ali as England closed on 357-5.

Root was fortunate to be dropped in the gully on 16 and was later reprieved by a no-ball when stumped on 149.

Vernon Philander impressed for South Africa, removing both England openers and Jonny Bairstow cheaply.

Perfect clip for this segment! But what else is England the home of? An even crazier sport – British Premiere League darts! Yes, Darts are a gigantic thing in England! Let’s roll the tape on this one!

British darts fans are crazy! I mean come on in the land of the pub, you got to have some drinking games to play, right? And listen to how passionate those fans are! But what else is England the home of? As I said it’s quickly overtaking Germany, the US and Japan as the automotive capital of the world as it’s the home to some 35 different auto manufacturers. It’s also not immune from the oversized SUVs that populate American roadways:

With its picturesque villages and quiet country lanes, the county of Suffolk embodies a vision of a certain kind of Englishness. Yet nestled away in its north-western corner lies a pocket of pure Americana, where the cars are huge, you can pay for a haircut in dollars and the Stars and Stripes flutter proudly.

The accent is unmistakably American.

The man, elderly, slightly hunched but with a freshly cut short-back-and-sides, hauls himself out of the black leather barber's chair and places some money in Steve Snazell's palm.

"Until next time," he says, heading out of the door with a sense of purpose honed from years in the military.

"He's a regular," says Mr Snazell, a second generation barber whose shop sits directly opposite the wired fence of RAF Mildenhall.

[font size="6"]The Verdict[/font]

England’s almost as crazy as the US is. Well, really, they almost are. But their elections can be even crazier when they have guys with giant buckets on their head. If you go or move there, just don’t mention Trump because they apparently hate him in London.
Grade: B+

[font size="6"]Scorecard:[/font]

England has amazing tourism. I've been there. Their culture is great, and they are very American friendly. However, England's political climate right now is an absolute mess thanks to Brexit, and that hurt their overall liberal appeal. Hopefully that will change with the next election and they may be able to get out of Brexit unscathed, but that remains to be seen.

Tourism: A+
Culture: A+
Political Spectrum: D+
Liberal Appeal: C

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week – we’re going back to continental Europe to discuss the country that is currently the leader of the free world, Germany. Wait, wait, the Germans are the leaders of the free world? NEIN!!!!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Iron Maiden[/font]

SCREAM FOR ME TOP 10!!!!! My next guest needs no introduction and they are proud to represent their home country of England – you know them, you love them, their latest album is called “The Book Of Souls”. Get it or you’re no friend of this show. Playing their song called “Speed Of Light” from that album, give it up for IRON FUCKING MAIDEN!!!!!

Yeah how about… what? They want to stick around for one more? Sure!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Irvine Improv, Irvine, CA
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
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Iron Maiden Appear Courtesy Of: Sanctuary Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

July 5, 2017

Obama Vs Trump: How A Real Leader Celebrates July 4th

Tuesday is America’s 241st birthday, but the president isn’t spending this weekend at the White House celebrating—he’s in New Jersey.

On Friday, after Donald Trump met with and gave a joint statement alongside South Korea’s Moon Jae-in, the commander-in-chief and his wife left Washington for Bedminster, New Jersey. They’re scheduled to stay at the Trump National Golf Club there through Monday, NJ.com reported. It’s his third time at his so-called Summer White House since he was inaugurated earlier this year.

Though Trump flew back to D.C. for a Saturday-night "Celebrate Freedom" concert honoring veterans and will be back in Washington for Independence Day itself, his decision to spend July Fourth weekend largely away from the country’s capital may raise some eyebrows.

This is especially true because Trump’s predecessor, Barack Obama, had a habit of throwing big July Fourth concerts to honor military service members and give staffers a chance to celebrate. In 2016, the event featured rapper Kendrick Lamar; in 2012 the White House welcomed country singer Brad Paisley. For years, Obama’s Independence Day was a party—he held babies and served barbecue and regularly led attendees in singing “Happy Birthday” to his daughter Malia, who, coincidentally, was born on July 4.

This year, the festivities will be a lot calmer. The first lady and Trump will also welcome service members and their relatives to the South Lawn on Tuesday for recognition and a picnic, Vanity Fair reported. Then they’ll end the night by checking out a fireworks show with White House employees and their families.

So Obama throws a party for veterans, Trump golfs at his luxury resort. Who's the elitist again?

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